Who was Adeline to stand before this crowd and condemn them for their actions?
She was little different than anyone in attendance.
Yet, since meeting Jasper, she was well aware of her shortcomings.
Knew them well and was attempting to change…for him.
“Esteemed guests,” Adeline called across the hushed ballroom. The only noise disturbing the growing unease was the rustle of a gown, the clearing of a throat, and the murmured question of an elderly matron wondering what in the damned hell was keeping the musicians from playing. “It is with great shame that I stand before you today.”
The hissed whispers surged as gossip likely spread about the scene witnessed on the terrace. Though, they would learn soon enough, it was not shame for herself or Jasper she felt...
“You have all been invited into my brother’s home as esteemed guests of Lord and Lady Melton, as well as the Ladies Georgina and Josephine. However, you have all cast this house in hues of midnight blue and scalding red—shame.” She made a point to look around the crowd, making eye contact with as many men and women as she could. “Lord Ailesbury graciously accepted my brother’s invitation to attend my birthday celebration, a time of joyous festivities, and instead of welcoming him into our home, and our society, you have all turned your nose up at him, leered at his scars—wounds that were beyond his control—and now, he has departed.” She paused when her voice cracked, her gaze settling on Theo, Josie, and Georgie as they made their way to the dais. If they thought to hush her, they were sadly overestimating their power. Adeline would have her say, and then she would leave…her own party and her home. “Lord Ailesbury—Jasper—is my friend. He is kind where most are not. He is caring where most are critical. He rescued me from a storm, offered me refuge, and escorted me safely back to London when my carriage proved unusable. He is a man above all others—a kindred soul, a male most honorable, and a gentleman unlike any I have met before. I knew well his aversion to society, yet he was willing to put aside his concerns and discomfort…for me.”
Without realizing it, her words had dropped in volume, and the gathered lords and ladies strained forward to hear her every utterance. If it was because they were actually listening or were only seeking more fodder for the gossip mills, Adeline was uncertain.
Adeline picked her brother out of the crowd, standing close to the dais’s edge. She could not read his expression, but the likelihood of punishment for her brazen display was assured.
“Adeline?” Theo held her hand out from where she stood below the dais. However, Adeline was not ready to descend, she had not yet had her say.
Shaking her head, Adeline refocused on the ballroom at large. “You all should be grateful for the opportunity to make Lord Ailesbury’s acquaintance. A finer, more noble man does not exist in all of England. But truly,” she said on a laugh, “none of you are worthy of his friendship. I included.”
She sensed the tears coming, knew a complete breakdown was imminent as her head swam and her legs trembled beneath her.
An instant later, her friends were at her side, helping her down from the dais as her guests stared on in absolute shock—many in disgust, and a few smirking. If her time on the terrace hadn’t ruined her, her tirade before the entire ton had.
Adeline glanced between her friends as her eyes welled with tears. “I love him so,” she breathed, her steps faltering, causing Theo and Georgie to hold her weight. “I cannot bear this cruelty toward him. He deserves so much more than this.”
“I know,” Josie soothed from somewhere out of Adeline’s sight but likely trailing them as they moved toward the side door which led into the foyer.
They exited through a single door, nearly hidden from view by cascading fabric, and emerged in the hallway bordering the entryway. It was the only route that would not have them making their way through the crowd on the dance floor.
Adeline’s indignation flared once more, and she pulled from Theo’s grasp and rounded on her trio of friends as Alistair followed them through the door, pulling it soundlessly closed behind him.
“Have you come to speak ill of Jasper, as well, dear brother?” she demanded, her heart nearly hammering through her chest. “Do you think him less of a man, or unworthy of respect, due to his scars?”
She knew her eyes held the fire of a thousand suns when Alistair took a step back, his previously narrowed glare widening in surprise at the venom in her tone.
Adeline’s glare swung from her brother to Theo and back.
When no one said anything, Adeline blinked several times to clear her sight, blurred from her tears.
However, the swell of tears returned when she noted the pitying looks on everyone’s faces.
Adeline deflated in that moment, her fury subsiding as quickly as it had been sparked.
She’d stood before a crowded ballroom and all but declared her love for Jasper.
And, yes, she knew with every breath she took that she loved him.
Would love him until her dying day.
Her chest ached so deeply at the thought of losing him—a man she’d known for such a short time, but who had affected her in ways she’d never dreamed possible. She could not envision a day in which she did not see him, speak with him, ride uninhibited across a meadow at his side, stand in the rain as he cared for his people, and live a life secluded at the Abbey if that meant they could be together.
“Theo…Alistair…I love him.” She shook her head back and forth, begging them not to question her words, to take her feelings for what they were. “I know you might not understand, but, I fear I cannot help where my heart takes root.”
A hiccup escaped her, and she clamped her mouth shut, determined not to fall apart until she’d found the safety of her room—a room that would not be hers for long when Alistair cast her out for bringing disgrace upon their entire family.
But Adeline would be fine, she would find her way, even without her friends and her family.
If Jasper could survive the loss of his parents—and later, his aunt and uncle—not to mention the harsh cruelty of those who blamed him for their family’s deaths, then Adeline could muster the courage to live a life on her own terms, free of society, and satisfied in her own right.
Would she not be content—if not happier—to live a life unburdened by social responsibilities, unrestricted by the rules and guidelines for what made a proper lady? She would be permitted to help others, live in a way that allowed her to be kind to all, and compassionate to other’s plights.
It was the way of things at Faversham Abbey.
Chapter 25
THEO…ALISTAIR…I love him.
Adeline might have said more, but Jasper heard none of it as he stood in the foyer down the hall from where Lord and Lady Melton, along with Adeline’s other friends, stared at the woman; a mixture of shock, apprehension, and pride on their faces.
All of those emotions were coursing through Jasper in that moment, as well, along with at least one more he was able to identify: love. Jasper could not remember feeling such for anyone other than his aunt and uncle. Certainly, he’d loved his parents, but he’d been a mere child, taking for granted he’d been blessed with a caring family, an adequate home, and fine things. In time, Jasper had come to respect and care for his servants and a few men who allowed him close at the plant.
But love? True, unconditional love…for a woman?
There was no mistaking that was the type of love Adeline spoke of. No woman, especially a lady born and bred to be above reproach, would jeopardize her status in a society she cherished if she did not wholeheartedly love another. And she’d stood before all of London, her family’s closest friends, and all but proclaimed her love…for him.
Jasper watched as Adeline threw her arms wide, her back to him. Lady Melton was the first to spot him over Adeline’s shoulder.
“My heart is solidly telling me Jasper is the only man for me.” Her shoulders shook with her words, as if she kept her sobs inside but h
ad no control over her body. “He is fair and kind to his servants and staff at the plant, he has a shrewd business sense, he is empathetic to the plight and misfortune of others, he is trusting and selfless“—she ticked off the list on her fingers—“and he is, above all else, loyal and compassionate.”
She stumbled on the last words, and Jasper longed to go to her, wrap his arms around her, and tell her everything would be fine. He desired nothing more than to put a stop to her ramblings. He was not the man she described with such passion. He strived each and every day to fit those characteristics, but attaining them had been difficult and, more often than not, out of his reach.
Jasper started in her direction, but her shoulders tensed and her chin lifted.
“Honestly, dear brother, I cannot imagine that I deserve a man such as Jasper, or that he would ever think to take me to wife.” She whimpered when no one made any move to respond to her. “I am his complete opposite in nearly every way. I have a vanity that runs far too deep, I am critical of others, I am petty and selfish, I demand things I have not earned, I cause so much trouble for you and Theo, and I am overly harsh with Josie. I do not deserve his loyalty…or yours, my flaws are so great.”
Jasper could not, would not, believe any of those things to be true or that they represented who Adeline was. This was not the woman he’d gotten to know in Faversham. That woman had been confident to a fault. She’d been undaunted by the storm, hadn’t hesitated to assist him in providing food for his people, and she rode across the meadow to the plant to make certain Jasper was not injured, and Emily’s husband was rescued.
He’d retreated into himself after the fire. Yet, Adeline’s own father had died the previous year, and she’d stepped forward to take her younger siblings all the way to Canterbury. She hadn’t hidden in her room and wallowed in her grief.
Adeline had met Jasper head-on and refused to balk or back down from him. And neither had she turned away from him due to his scars and the villagers’ ramblings proclaiming the beast.
It had only been she who’d taken the time to recognize that his beastly appearance had not rotted his insides.
“Besides,” Adeline began again, her voice strong once more. “I will be twenty-one in less than a fortnight. I will not need your approval or blessing to live my life any way I see fit. I will wed any damned man I choose, or I will never marry at all. But it will be my choice, my decision, and my cross to bear if I muck everything up.”
Lady Georgina let loose a loud snort of laughter while Lady Melton fell into a light, feminine giggle. Lady Josie appeared ready to faint on the spot as her eyes settled on Jasper as he walked slowly down the hall. He was uncertain when his legs began to move, but move they did—toward Adeline.
Jasper hadn’t the nerve to meet Lord Melton’s stare, yet he could visualize the viscount’s narrowed glare.
He only kept his attention on Adeline’s back. Ten more paces and he’d be to her.
Someone must have alerted her to his presence because her chin lowered and she pivoted to face him.
Her cheeks were streaked with tears as they continued to roll down her face and off her chin, turning her light blue gown to a darker hue from the moisture.
“…not that I am to wed Lord Ailesbury, or that we’ve even spoken of mutual affection,” she stammered, her eyes locking on his as all color drained from her face, leaving her skin pale—almost green.
“And what if I desire to speak of marriage?” Jasper’s brow rose in question.
“Then I would think this is a subject better discussed in private.” Lord Melton stepped forward, gesturing back toward the foyer. “If you will follow me, Lord Ailesbury, we can discuss this in my study.”
“I will have Adeline present,” he said without thinking. He could offend Melton as women were not usually present during business negotiations, and Jasper was not fool enough to think this was anything but a business and a negotiation—even if it was a matter of the heart for him.
“Oh, have you not met my sister?” Lord Melton asked, his smirk hard to hide. “She would beat down the door—or climb down the hearth flue—if I did not allow her in. It is safer for all involved if we invite her straight away. Besides, this is her future as much as yours, Ailesbury. I do hope you’ve thought this through.”
“There is naught to think through, my lord, though I appreciate your warning.”
Jasper glanced in Adeline’s direction. She’d remained quiet during Melton’s and his back and forth; however, her eyes swelled with a fresh round of tears, and they spilled over her lids and down her cheeks.
Without thinking, Jasper took the final steps to her, brought his palms to the sides of her face, and brushed the tears away. If they’d been alone, he would have placed a kiss to each cheek where the moisture had left matching trails.
If they wed, he silently vowed she would never have need to shed another tear—unless it was in joy.
That was one promise he could make her.
Chapter 26
ADELINE STARED INTO Jasper’s green eyes, the warmth of his hands framing her face and his body near hers was all it took to banish her tears.
Jasper was here. He hadn’t fled the ball.
As she’d pleaded with Alistair, she’d feared that Jasper was gone forever. That thought hadn’t deterred her from confessing her love for the man or any consequences that followed, though. She’d been prepared to suffer them in silence, resolved to her fate, and all because she’d found the strength to speak her true feelings. If Alistair cast her from their family home, so be it. If her friends turned their backs on her, she would live. If society shunned her, Adeline would only be better for it.
She loved the man standing before her—his hurt, his sorrow, his loyalty, his compassion, his heart. She loved and cherished every inch of him.
And the way he looked at her now—his reserved smile, the yearning in his eyes, his labored breaths—told Adeline he felt the same soul-deep love for her.
Adeline’s entire body flushed with heat as time seemed to slow to a standstill, only to find her heart jumping back into action as it raced in her chest.
This love—their love—was more than a fluttering of the stomach or a weakening of the knees.
“Jasper, I—“ she started.
“Adeline, my study…now!” Her brother’s tone left no room for argument. “Come. This is a family matter and not one suitable for the entire ballroom.”
Adeline glanced over Jasper’s shoulder and, sure enough, guests had started to mill about outside the main ballroom door, attempting to hear their conversation.
She had no choice but to follow Alistair.
To her surprise, Jasper grasped her arm, while Josie and Georgie fell into ranks on either side of them.
Adeline wanted to scream that she didn’t need their protection, she was confident in everything she’d said and every emotion coursing through her. For once in her life, she needn’t hide behind petty retorts and snide comments.
The only thing that could harm her now was if Jasper turned her away.
Much like a funeral precession, they all trampled down the hall, past the onlookers in the foyer and into Alistair’s study, the door solidly thudding closed behind them. Adeline was certain that Donovan would station himself directly outside to keep the guests from attempting to move close and hear what transpired behind the closed doors.
The quiet of the room only intensified Adeline’s knowledge of Jasper’s presence.
His hulking frame stood by her side, while Josie and Georgie took seats on the lounge closest to the hearth. Alistair immediately sought the safety—and separation—the seat behind his desk provided, and Theo sank into her usual chair. The same seat she’d resided in the first time Adeline had brought Jasper to meet the pair.
Had that been only the previous day?
It felt as if years, no, decades had passed since her return to London. A city she’d always felt she belonged in, but which was now as foreign to her as Eg
ypt or Greece would be.
When everyone remained silent, Adeline realized they waited for her to speak.
This was her life, after all. Her future…and Jasper’s.
She needed to say her piece to Jasper. She owed him that much.
In slow motion, she turned to him, knowing her words would impact the rest of her life. She would either wed this great man before her or be relegated to a life of solitude, devoid of everything she’d once held dear.
But love, or the prospect of love, was worth it, even if she was alone in the end.
So, at that moment, surrounded and protected by the people who cared about her the most, Adeline was determined to be honest and open with Jasper. If he did not return her immense affection and love, at least her friends and family—hopefully—would be there to catch her.
“Jasper,” –she paused, taking a deep breath to clear her mind and allow her heart to speak—“since meeting you, I’ve chosen to be a better me. At the plant, when the wall collapsed, you blamed yourself, but I knew you did everything in your power to help your people.”
His eyes watered, and she noted his shoulders caving in on themselves, yet he kept his gaze solidly on hers.
“I have found what I wanted—the future I envisioned for myself—is no longer important to me. What you need and want, specifically a thriving Faversham and Home Works with happy, healthy people, is paramount to securing my own happiness. I know your future does not lie in London but in Kent, and I’ve discovered my destiny resides there, too.” She stilled, searching his eyes, determining if he understood what she was implying. “With you, Jasper. By your side, day and night. Good and bad. During favorable years, and through the harsh winter nights.”
When a Rogue Falls Page 77
