“I met the most amazing woman today. She volunteers at the hospital, and she has such a kind heart. I already know my parents won’t approve of Parker Jo because she doesn’t come from a wealthy family. I will try to convince them otherwise.”
Carrie flipped forward another couple of pages.
“I’m living a double life. I’m courting a sweet woman, but I’m in love with another. I will probably marry Carrie, but Parker Jo is the one I want.”
Carrie blinked back tears. Michael didn’t deserve them.
“Something terrible happened today. I killed a man. Although it was purely accidental, and I ran him over with my carriage, there was no way I could help the poor man. Parker Jo was with me, and I didn’t want anyone to know that I was secretly seeing her while engaged to Carrie. I will hold this guilt for a long time, and I pray for his family. I’d heard that Mr. Hamilton was an accountant.”
Shock buzzed through her, and she dropped the book, slapping a hand over her mouth to keep from screaming. Michael had killed Cade’s father?
Her legs weakened, and she sat on the ground in front of the tree, not caring that her dress would become wet from the snow, and she might get a chill. All she could think about was how to tell Cade. She couldn’t possibly keep this secret from her new husband. She must tell him. Yet, she worried that he might blame her in some way. How could he stay married to her, knowing that her first husband killed Cade’s father?
It just wasn’t done! Cade would want the marriage annulled as soon as possible.
TEN
Something was wrong. Cade could feel it all around Carrie. She tried to act like she was fine and that her visit with Mrs. Sterling went smoothly, but Carrie’s silence during the ride home told him things were not fine.
If she didn’t want to talk to him, he couldn’t force her, but how he wished she would tell him what happened inside the bank. A few times during the ride back to the house, he’d tried to get her to tell him what happened, but her answers were short, ending the conversation quickly. Her gaze wasn’t on the road, nor was it on him. Instead, she studied the snow-covered landscape while frowning.
Cade’s heart wrenched for her, knowing she was in agony somehow. If only she’d let him comfort her. After this morning’s kiss, he had hoped that tonight would be the night when he could be a real husband. He assumed she wouldn’t argue since she’d been looking differently at him. But now...
He’d probably be the one sleeping on the couch tonight.
The good mood he’d had all morning waned quickly. It had surprised him when PJ allowed Cade to feed him this morning, and he could see the little boy was warming up to him. So was the boy’s mother. So perhaps, Cade needed to do something tonight to help Carrie relax so that she would warm up to him, too.
After watching her care for her maid, and PJ and seeing the care in Carrie’s eyes when she was visiting with her friend, Cade knew Carrie would make a very good wife. And since he’d had a sample of her kiss, he was quite eager to claim his husbandly rights. He’d already realized that once he had her in his arms, she melted. He’d make it a point to get her that way this evening.
He stopped the wagon in front of the house and hopped down. As he reached up to help her, she turned and climbed out of the wagon on the other side. Cade frowned. No, she was not fine at all.
Hurrying around the wagon to catch up to her, he noticed she quickened her step. Cade grasped her arm before she could enter the house. As he swung her around to face him, tears were brimming in her eyes.
“Oh, my darling, Carrie. Please tell me what’s wrong.”
“I... can’t.” Her throat jumped in what looked to be a hard swallow. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Are you upset because of Michael?”
She nodded and pursed her lips.
“How do you know I won’t understand?” He loosened his grip on her arms as he slowly pulled her closer. “Give me a chance to be an understanding husband.”
Carrie blinked rapidly. “Why, Cade? You came to Last Chance knowing that there was a possibility that you were marrying in name only.”
He tried not to get upset. After all, something was eating her up inside. He needed to find out what it was. “I could say the same thing about you, my darling, but the kisses we have shared so far have told me otherwise.” He arched an eyebrow. “Am I wrong? Did I misread you when you kissed me?”
“I shouldn’t have,” she said in a rush. “I was caught up in the moment, and now I realize I shouldn’t have kissed you.”
“No, Carrie.” Cade pulled her closer, and she pressed her hands against his chest as though wanting to stop him. He couldn’t let her. They needed to be closer so that she would melt in his arms and let him comfort her. “You cannot tell me it wasn’t real. There is something between us, and kissing you has only confirmed what I’d been feeling.”
She stopped struggling as her gaze locked with his. “What... have you been feeling?”
Heavens, this wasn’t the time – or the place – to tell her his feelings. He wanted her to open up to him first. Then again, maybe he needed to take the plunge this time. Perhaps then, she would tell him what was bothering her.
He cupped the side of her face as his thumb gently stroked her cheek. “Carrie, as I’ve gotten to know you these past few days, I’ve realized you are the kind of woman I want as my wife, and I want you to be the mother of our children.”
Cade watched her closely, hoping to see her expression of delight. Instead, she became angry and pushed his hand away. “That’s never going to happen, Mr. Hamilton.”
She moved away from him so quickly that he didn’t have time to grab her again. Of course, her statement surprised him and wrenched his heart. What was she talking about? He knew she felt the sparks of attraction between them. He just needed to bring it back.
Yet, everything went topsy-turvy when she entered the bank. Cade wasn’t going to give up. He could make this right. No, he would make this right.
* * * *
Carrie rushed into the house. Unshed tears burned her eyes, but she had promised herself she wouldn’t cry. Right now, she was more angry and sad. She didn’t know how she could take her anger out on Michael, but he was the one who deserved her wrath. Poor Cade had just been caught in the crossfire.
Right away, she heard PJ’s crying. It was different this time. Panicked, she hurried into his bedroom. Tilly sat on the rocking chair, trying to soothe the baby, but the worried look in her eyes let Carrie know something was wrong. She quickly took PJ away from the maid, holding her boy close to her bosom. He was warm. Much too warm.
Pressing her cheek against the boy’s forehead, Carrie realized he had a fever. She pulled back and studied his pale face with blotches of red patches. Her stomach twisted. She prayed he hadn’t gotten sick like Tilly.
She smiled at PJ the best she could, not wanting to worry him. “Mommy is here.” She lovingly stroked his warm cheek.
“Oh, Carrie,” Tilly said in a tight voice. “I tried cooling him down, but I didn’t dare do anything without Mr. Hamilton around to let me know if it was right.”
“What’s right?” Cade stepped into the house, closing the door behind him. As soon as his attention landed on Carrie and PJ, he rushed to them. Cade placed his hand on the boy’s head. Cade’s worried gaze met hers.
“Do you think he has pneumonia?” she asked shakily.
“He wouldn’t get it unless having a chest cold first. But, it’s obvious he has some kind of infection inside his body that needs to come out.”
Fear nearly choked the air right out of Carrie’s lungs. But she must be strong for her son. “Cade... can you help him?”
His defeated expression let her know that he didn’t have faith in himself. That scared her to death.
“Cade, please,” she begged. “I know you can do this.”
Confusion flickered across his expression, but then he inhaled deeply and nodded. “Go into the kitchen and sit. I will need
to get some instruments from my medical bag so that I can examine him.”
Carrie sighed with relief. “Thank you, Cade.”
She hurried into the kitchen and sat on a chair. PJ continued to cry, which made her heart break. She hated feeling so helpless. Cooing to him, she stroked his face, but that didn’t seem to calm him in the least. A few red rashes were on his cheeks and forehead.
Closing her eyes, she said a silent prayer, asking God to guide Cade to find PJ’s ailment. Although Cade didn’t think he could do it, she knew he could. He’d been a respected doctor at one time. He just needed a little nudge to move in the right direction.
She glanced at her baby. Would PJ be Cade’s nudge? She just hoped her son would get well soon.
Cade walked into the kitchen and placed his medical bag on the table. He first used his stethoscope to listen to PJ’s breathing. Carrie studied Cade’s worried face, hoping to see signs that nothing was terribly wrong with her son.
Once Cade was finished listening to PJ’s breathing, he then looked inside her son’s mouth. PJ fussed and wiggled, but she tried her best to hold him still. It took a few minutes longer, but then finally, Cade finished. He ran his fingers over PJ’s face and down his neck. Finally, he sighed and shook his head, meeting Carrie’s gaze.
“I don’t know what it is. PJ is breathing just fine. In fact, he’s got some healthy lungs. His throat doesn’t appear to be red, and his throat isn’t swollen.” Cade shrugged. “I don’t know why he has a fever.”
Carrie’s worry escalated. This wasn’t what she had wanted to hear. There must be a reason. “What else could cause him to act like this?”
Cade shook his head, frowning. “I don’t know. We will just have to wait a few days to see if more symptoms show up. Seeing the symptoms will help me to know how to help PJ.”
“What should I do about his fever?”
“I won’t be able to pack him in the snow as I did with Tilly, so for now, just get wet cloths and put them on his head and under his arms.” Cade touched PJ’s head again. “I’ll monitor him closely for the next few days.”
Carrie didn’t like the sound of that, but what else could she do? There was no doubt about it. She would stay by PJ’s side night and day until they found out why he was sick.
ELEVEN
Cade trudged on tired legs out to the barn to milk the goat and collect the eggs. The mornings were growing colder, and Thanksgiving was nearly upon them. While he was at the mercantile, he asked if they were going to order turkeys. The owner had mentioned that Pastor Collins would be bringing some into town in the next day or so. Cade wanted to do something special for Carrie, and Thanksgiving would be the perfect opportunity.
He still couldn’t figure out her attitude change. Something had happened at the bank, yet, she wasn’t willing to talk about it. Two days had passed since that day, and she’d spent most of her time in PJ’s room. Cade kept waiting for the little boy to cough or to show any signs of what his malady was, but nothing. Thankfully, the boy’s fever wasn’t very high, but PJ hadn’t wanted to eat much, and when he did, he gagged. The boy was very ornery, no matter who was holding him.
Thankfully, Tilly was feeling better, and so she helped Cade make the meals. From the chats he had with Carrie’s maid, he wondered if Tilly was used to making the meals, anyway. He wanted to laugh. Cade should have realized Carrie wouldn’t know how. Her parents had never taught her to do real work.
He carried the milk and the eggs into the kitchen, where Tilly was busy preparing the morning meal.
“Carrie is awake if you wanted to go check on her and PJ,” the older woman said.
“I need to collect some firewood first.”
Tilly nodded and turned back to her bowl of oatmeal. As Cade left the house again, he bundled his collar around his neck. It certainly was nippier here in Nebraska than it was in New York. It must have something to do with the elevation.
He moved back to the barn where he’d kept the supply of freshly-cut firewood, and just before reaching the door, he noticed a woman walking toward the house. She was bundled in a fur-lined coat and had heavy boots on her feet. A fur-lined cap covered most of her blonde hair.
When she noticed him looking at her, she smiled and waved. “Doctor Hamilton?”
Inwardly, he groaned. Carrie had told everyone he was a doctor? But of course, she had. He hadn’t told her otherwise until after he had arrived in town. He didn’t know how he could break the bad news to this woman coming to see him.
“I’m Cade Hamilton.” He smiled and met her halfway.
“I’m Heather Barnes.” She put forth her gloved right hand, and he shook it. “I’m a midwife here in Last Chance. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Are you a friend of Carrie’s?” he asked.
“Oh, yes. Our numbers are few here in Last Chance, and so we make sure we’re all friends. Since the blizzard, we’ve all learned to rely on each other for support.”
“That’s a very good thing to do. All of you have been brave during these hard times.”
“Yes, they have been trying for all of us.” She motioned toward the house. “Is Carrie at home?”
“Yes. Her baby has been sick the past few days, and she’s been with him nonstop.”
Mrs. Barnes’ eyes widened. “Oh, dear. What is wrong?”
Cade didn’t know how to answer. If he said I don’t know, he made himself look like a fool because he’d gone to school to be a doctor, yet he didn’t know what was wrong with PJ. “I think it might be his ears.” Cade supposed that was a good enough answer because really, it could be his ears, although there had been no discharge from them.
“Oh, the poor little dear. Do you mind if I go inside?”
Once again, he didn’t know how to answer. He hated looking like a complete idiot. “Sure, let me take you inside.”
He’d gather the wood later.
The woman didn’t say anything as he walked inside the house and to PJ’s room. Cade gently knocked on the door and then opened it slightly and peeked inside. Carrie was rocking her son, and he seemed to be playing with a toy on her lap. At least the child wasn’t crying as he’d been doing so much of lately.
When Carrie turned her head to look at him, he motioned over his shoulders. “You have a visitor.”
Carrie’s hair had been combed and pulled back into a ponytail. She wore one of her simpler blue dresses today. “Who?” she asked.
“Mrs. Barnes.” He opened the door wider to let the other woman inside.
Carrie’s face brightened, and she quickly stood, keeping PJ in her arms. “Oh, Heather. It’s so wonderful to see you.”
The two women gave one-arm hugs. Immediately, Mrs. Barnes touched PJ’s face. She frowned.
“He’s warm.” Mrs. Barnes glanced at Cade.
“Yes, he’s had a small fever off and on for the past two days. He’s had a rash, and he’s sick to his stomach off and on throughout the day.”
Mrs. Barnes nodded. “It could be an ear infection.”
Carrie gasped and looked toward Cade. “Could it be?”
“Perhaps, but he’s had no discharge come out of his ears.”
Carrie’s shoulders drooped. “Rats.” She sighed and looked back at her friend. “I just don’t know what is wrong with my son.”
“Do you mind if I look him over?” Mrs. Barnes asked.
Immediately, warning bells shot off in Cade’s mind. The woman was a midwife, for heaven’s sake. What is she going to know that a doctor won’t? Although he wanted to stop her, Carrie seemed to welcome the idea. Once again, doubts filled his mind. She didn’t believe in him, even though she said she would.
Disappointed and feeling highly rejected, he turned and left the two women, heading back into the kitchen. Tilly’s questioning gaze met his.
“What does Mrs. Barnes want?” the older woman asked.
“Just to visit,” he grumbled, “although, she wants to examine PJ, too.” Cade sat at the table, resting his el
bows on the hardwood.
“Mr. Hamilton?” Tilly stepped closer, stopping at the end of the table. “I’m here if you need someone to listen to your woes.”
He gave her a pitiful grin. “My woes?”
“Yes, sir. It’s obvious that something is bothering you.” She patted his shoulder. “Give her time. She’ll come around.”
“Come around?”
“Yes. Carrie likes you, I can tell, but she’s still grieving Michael. But soon, she’ll see that you are much better than Michael.”
He wrinkled his forehead and narrowed his gaze on the older woman. “Am I correct in assuming you didn’t like the man?”
Tilly shrugged and moved to the stove. “Let’s just say that I thought Carrie could have done better.”
Curious to what the maid really meant, he moved away from the table and stood next to her at the stove. “Go on.”
“Well, it was Michael’s idea to move out here. He knew Carrie was a city girl, but he sweet-talked her into coming out here to prairie land. Carrie had no idea how to be a prairie wife. But over the next few years, as I watched them together, I noticed that he criticized her more than I thought he should have. Michael pointed out her flaws, which he had already known about. I think he wanted her to be like the other wives in town, but Carrie wasn’t.” Tilly turned her head to look at him. “And something was missing in his eyes when he looked at Carrie.”
“Missing? Like what?”
“Love.”
Surprise washed over him. “He didn’t love her?”
Tilly shrugged and continued to stir the oatmeal cooking in the pot on the hot stove. “I rarely heard him say it to her. She told him that she loved him all the time, but he would smile and kiss her forehead and either leave the room or change the subject.”
Cade’s heart wrenched. How could Michael have acted like that? Then again, Carrie had figured something out about why Michael named their son, Parker Joe – after a woman. That was when Carrie had started acting differently about her dead husband. Had she realized Michael hadn’t loved her after all? Cade wondered what the man’s excuse was for being married five years, and yet they only had a one-year-old child.
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