Accepting Elijah's Heart

by M. Michelle Derosier

  (3/3) And you don't expect me to be shocked?

  I didn't say there was something. I just referenced a spark.

  *crickets*

  Funny

  You can't take it back now.

  I'm not. Just saying your "something" sounds more serious than my spark.

  Spark was that kiss you tried not to acknowledge. Let me finish.

  She allowed Lauren to keep typing before refuting her claim.

  You’re bringing this up now. I think it means there's more. You love him?

  An eternity in text-years passed and Reina still did not respond.

  I'll take that as a yes, and an I've-crapped-my-pants-I'm-so-scared.

  Thanks for that visual as I get ready for breakfast :/

  Subject-changer!

  Nate says he loves you, but it's time to eat.

  Love you, Nate. Tell your mommy the truth will set her free.

  Have a fun day doing nothing.

  Have a fun day dodging your feelings :)

  Reina didn't give her the satisfaction of a response.

  Later that evening, Eli yelled from the bottom of the living room staircase, “Nathaniel’s mom, we have to leave for Lizzie’s reception. Are you coming—” He found it impossible to remember the rest of his statement. He stood agape before Reina who appeared from the room upstairs.

  “I must look a mess on other days,” she joked. Reina awaited his response and when none came adjusted her dress. “I’m getting a complex here.” She descended the stairs, holding the railing for support. “I’m still readapting to walking in heels.”

  “I think your beauty has stunned my brother into a mute.” Elizabeth gently elbowed Eli.

  “Wow!” The word finally traveled the length of Eli’s thoughts to his mouth. He’d formed it the moment his eyes landed on her walking out of the room. At least he thought it was her. The woman standing in front of him technically resembled the Reina of the past eight months, the one who’d stolen his heart without premeditation. Her beauty, usually understated in jeans, a funny tee-shirt and hoodie, and hair pulled back into a bushy ponytail, shone tonight as if enclosed in glass with a spotlight.

  “That’s a start.” Elizabeth laughed. They didn’t pay her any mind. “I’ll go see how mom and Nate are getting on.”

  Eli and Reina were left staring at each other.

  “You found something to wear.”

  “Lauren made it her mission to find the “knock-out” outfit in my closet.”

  “I’m knocked out.”

  The sleeveless dress afforded him the chance to see the blush that was not visible on her face. Her décolletage, though dark, was shades lighter than her complexion. A fraction below her collarbone he saw reddish splotches in response to his compliment.

  His appreciative gaze caressed her from head to toe, lingering at her lips painted with a deep plum lipstick. He didn’t know Reina owned makeup. He wanted to kiss her but wouldn’t. He would uphold his promise to keep their relationship an uncomplicated friendship. Any change in their status would be her decision. He waited. His face imploring her to make the first move. He could see her conflicted feelings. It felt like her heart was screaming to close the short distance between them, but her love for Jared kept her rooted in place. His disappointment briefly evident, he put his hurt aside and reassured her with a soft smile. While it pained him to be rejected by her again, he held on to the glimmer of hope that some part of her wanted to come to him as much as he craved for her to do so. He needed to believe that’s why she hesitated for so long.

  Knowing that torturing himself wouldn’t make a difference, he offered her his arm and directed her outside to the waiting car. “Let’s go celebrate the guest of honor.”

  Chapter 12

  Jason waved Reina and Eli over from the other side of the room. Eli’s parents and his sisters had gone ahead of them after she had to return to the house for Nate’s diaper bag. Her encounter with Eli in the living room had flustered her to the point of forgetfulness. She didn’t know what to do with the feelings for him that refused to lay dormant. For a brief moment, when he’d stood speechless staring at her as she descended the staircase, she’d been slammed by a vision of her and Eli in a similar fashion at a future date. Except on that day she wore a white dress that, to her concern, looked suspiciously like something adorning a bride. The image shifted her core.

  What do I do, God? What about Jared? What about protecting my heart? I don’t have it in me to go through another hurt. You’re pushing me toward a firefighter of all people. I don’t want anything to do with love at all. But at least You could have sent me someone with a safe job. You don’t have an accountant somewhere? Not that I want anyone. What do I do?

  If she expected God to answer, He stayed quiet. Great-aunt Lauretta used to say folks like to badger God for answers to questions He’s already answered that they don’t like the answers to. What they need to do is switch from ‘God, what’s Your answer?’ to ‘God stop me from being so hard-headed’.

  Reina found that funnier when she wasn’t “folks.” Had God already answered her? Did she not hear Him? Or was she purposely keeping her ears closed because she didn’t like what He had to say? She asked God to forgive her if this was a matter of disobedience. Lord, please help me to remember that it’s not my will, but Yours.

  As they neared the table, Reina stopped to remark on the vase of sunflowers decorating the center. “Gorgeous.” She gushed.

  “Agree,” Jason said. “You look stunning.”

  Self-conscious, she said a quick thanks and walked to greet Sophia and Mr. and Mrs. Downing.

  “With your skin tone, you were made to live in yellow.” Elizabeth complimented her, and the other ladies at the table echoed her sentiment.

  “I’m in wonderful company. You all look amazing.” Caroline wore a black cowl neck dress that accentuated her pale skin and elongated her already graceful neck. Sophia, who stood up to allow Reina to sit with Nate, wore a red halter dress that skimmed her knees and draped her curves. Angela and Mrs. Downing both looked ageless in classic black. Elizabeth, the lady of the hour, sparkled in silver.

  Jason bowed. “We men are paupers in the land of beauty royalty.”

  “Lines like that actually work on the women he goes out with,” was Sophia’s quick comeback.

  They chortled at the comfortable banter.

  Mr. Downing spoke. “Much as I’d like to take credit for the way he charms the ladies, I’m afraid those are not my genes.”

  Mrs. Downing kissed his cheek. “You didn’t need the charm of ordinary men. Your intelligence captured me from the start.”

  “And I always thought it was the clumsy way I spilled water all over your shirt when I nervously tried to ask you out.”

  The table roared in amusement.

  “Son, disregard that piece of advice. It doesn’t work as well as I believed.”

  Jason snickered. “I know. I tried it on Velasquez.”

  She thought she saw Sophia’s cheeks redden a smidge when she said, “So, he’s the one to blame.”

  Eli, seated next to Reina, told Nate to take notice of all the things not to do when trying to get a girl.

  “Get a girl? My son’s not dating until he’s fifty.”

  “Don’t worry, Nate.” Eli stroked her hand. “I’ll be there to rein in your mother’s crazy.”

  A collective “hey!” was heard from the ladies. He high-fived a giggling Nate.

  “I’ll make sure you have a love life before you start collecting social security checks.”

  Something inside Reina rejoiced with hope as Eli spoke words of the future to Nate. It made her happy to think of him in Nate’s life for the long term. She thanked God for sending a strong, caring male figure for her son. She’d been unsure, okay petrified, about having kids but had loved Jared enough to let him persuade her that she’d make a good mother. She’d believed him because she knew he would be there with her as an excellent father. She hadn’
t counted on losing him. Eli wasn’t Nate’s father, but she was happy for his presence. What happens when he falls in love, gets married and makes a life with someone else? Will his wife be okay letting him come around to play father figure to Nate? A child that’s not even his. She hushed the nagging voice by reminding it to worry only about the troubles of today. Tomorrow would take care of itself.

  Elizabeth spoke, drawing Reina’s attention back to the conversation.

  “The sit-down ceremony part of the evening will be over before you know it.”

  “Honey, we’re not complaining. We’re ecstatic to be sharing your day,” Angela responded.

  Elizabeth flushed. With her complexion, it was unmistakable. “I told James this gala was too much.”

  “If he hadn’t thrown it, your mother certainly would have,” her father responded.

  “And why shouldn’t I?” Her mother’s gaze was affectionate. “How many other mothers can brag that her daughter’s freshman novel debuted on three,” She raised the same number fingers, “best sellers lists and to critical acclaim?”

  “You’ve always been the daughter to make our parents proud.” Caroline said it with love and without spite, but there was a hint of sadness that Reina wondered about.

  With earnest eyes, Angela reached for Caroline’s hand across the table. “We’re equally proud of both our daughters.”

  Eli coughed.

  “And our son, too, of course.” His mother hurried to say.

  He beamed. “How can you not be? I’m your best son.”

  “Their only son.” Jason snuck in.

  He ignored his best friend. “What happens after all the boring parts of the evening?”

  “Elijah!” his mother admonished.

  He grinned with boyish charm. “I was only curious.”

  “That’s the smile that always gets him out of trouble.” Angela spoke fondly. “Don’t let him use it on you, Rei.”

  “Too late,” Eli answered.

  Jason put a friendly arm around Angela’s shoulder. “If you ever want to replace him with a better son, my parents are happy to share.”

  “They’ve already tried to pay the Coopers to take you off their hands.” Sophia inserted.

  “She’s only kidding.” Mrs. Downing touched Jason’s face. She turned to Sophia and pretended to whisper, “We weren’t going to tell him about that, remember?”

  “You keep threatening to give me away and one of these days someone will take you up on the offer.”

  His mother and Angela exchanged a knowing look, when his mother responded, “I’m hoping she will.”

  Sophia blushed fiercely. The announcement of James’ speech saved her more embarrassment.

  They turned to the center of the room as James invited Elizabeth forward. “To spare her the spotlight, I’ll keep this short.”

  He drew her into a one-arm hug.

  “Here’s to your tenacity, strength and courage for fighting to get this book published. You did it so the voices of those who were forced into silence would finally be heard.”

  At the table Angela whispered, the pride in her voice evident, “Our Lizzie has always had a heart for fighting for justice. Even at the tender age of seven when she bit the neighborhood bully for mistreating her friend.”

  Mr. Cooper smiled. “She eventually learned to fight injustice with a pen instead of violence.”

  “I remember finding her standing up to a boy who’d called one of her classmates ugly. She’d decked him when he’d refused to apologize. I can still see the kid’s bloody nose.” Eli added. “For such a wisp of a girl, she packs a mean punch.”

  James raised his glass which prompted others to do the same. “To Elizabeth, may you always write the stories that make us examine our conscience.”

  “To Elizabeth!” the room echoed.

  “This support is overwhelming.” Elizabeth spoke. “I promised my brother to keep the boring parts of the night short.” She raised her glass in Eli’s direction. “Thank you, everyone. James’ courtyard is lovely so go out there and enjoy the rest of the evening.”

  Reina walked ahead of Eli who carried Nate and came through the arched entry to the courtyard. She looked around the space and recalled Elizabeth’s statement that it was designed to transport the visitor to a Tuscan farmhouse. They traveled along the tiled walkway to meet with Jason who stood chatting with Caroline and Sophia who were seated on a stone bench. On her way, Reina stopped to lovingly caress the sunflowers and admire the many wide terracotta containers planted with citrus trees, conifers, and olive trees. The space was warm and inviting thanks to the vibrant colors, earthen accents, and the soothing sound of water spouting from a center fountain.

  “James put a lot of love into this place,” Reina remarked.

  “Theirs is not my story to tell, but I think Lizzie was his inspiration. Once upon a time he’d hoped to share it with her.” Caroline admitted.

  Eli changed the subject. “Which one of you ladies will honor me with the first dance of the night?” The question was posed to all, but his eyes were fixed on Reina.

  “Nate already has my dance card full,” Caroline said. With Reina’s permission, she walked off with the baby.

  “I’ll take my cue from Nate.” Jason extended his hand to Sophia. “Come on, Velasquez. You promised to stick to me like a tween to her cell phone. I don’t want to worry about these women throwing themselves at me.”

  She accepted his hand and shook her head. “I know there’s a reason we’re friends.”

  “We’ll say goodbye before we leave for the night.” Jason addressed Eli and Reina, and then walked off with a grumbling Sophia.

  “You win by default.” Eli turned to Reina.

  “I’m flattered.”

  “Shall we dance?”

  “Lead the way.”

  Eli took her hand and led her near an unoccupied alcove. He gently guided her to him with an arm around her waist. Her head nestled on his shoulder. They moved slowly, without care to match the rhythm of the music.

  Reina could sense the other couples in the background like one hears the wind in the distance. There, but not. She was lost in a moment where she and Eli alone occupied this space.

  She raised her head to find him staring at her, searching for an answer to a question he never verbalized.

  She could blame it on the moon. Perhaps on Tuscany. Even on her tangled-up emotions. But before she could question herself or consider the message she was sending, she leaned in and connected her lips to his for the kiss they’d both been aching for all evening.

  At the very least, Eli was surprised. At the very most, he was downright stunned. He set his shock aside to join her in the kiss that connected their hearts. Whether she would acknowledge it later remained to be seen. But right now, her lips communicated all the unspoken feelings he’d waited months to hear.

  She loved him.

  It was that simple and that complicated.

  With this kiss, she gave him a piece of her heart that was his alone. A piece he did not have to share with Jared. How much of her heart was his? How much still belonged to her dead husband? He pushed those thoughts aside to focus on the joy of the moment.

  She had finally come to him.

  Chapter 13

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize anyone was out here.” Reina addressed Angela.

  “Don’t worry. Our home is yours to enjoy this weekend. If you’d like some privacy, I’m happy to go inside.”

  “No. No. Of course not. I’m not kicking you out of your home.”

  Angela patted the space on the bench. “Please sit. Join me for tea.”

  “I’d love to. It’s very peaceful out here.”

  “It’s my favorite place in the house. I often sit here when I need to unburden my soul to God. Feels like there’s a direct outlet to Him here.”

  “I feel bad. I didn’t mean to disturb your time of devotion.”

  “You’re not disturbing me at all. It’s nice to
have company. I don’t have a full house nearly as much as I would like.”

  “I don’t know what I’ll do when Nate leaves home.” Reina smiled. “I’ll probably follow him wherever he goes.”

  Angela’s soft chuckle accentuated the lines framing her eyes, signs of a woman who laughed easily and frequently. “Nate could balk at that idea. I should know, I tried it with my children, and they weren’t exactly thrilled.”

  “You’re the expert so I’ll take your word for it.”

  An unexpected burst of laughter escaped Angela. “Expert? Me?”

  “Of course. You raised wonderful children.”

  “Not without the Lord’s leading, I assure you.”

  Angela sensed something troubling Reina. She didn’t have to guess because Reina asked, “How did you know how to be a parent? A good mom?” She hesitated before adding, “Did that come naturally to you?” She dropped her eyes then finished softly, “Sorry. That’s a lot of questions. Never mind.”

  Angela handed Reina a cup of tea to give herself time to think before she answered. “Parenting is a privilege many have, but few believe we deserve.”

  Reina, careful not to break the delicate family heirloom, sat rigidly next to Angela.

  Angela gazed thoughtfully at Reina, sipped her tea, and continued. “I often wonder why God saw it fit to bless me with four—although he took one back before I was ready to let go.”

  Reina nodded in sympathy.

  Angela wasn’t surprised that Eli had shared with Reina about her other child Allison who’d died before he was born. It pleased her that Eli, who rarely spoke of his feelings to anyone, would confide in Reina.

  “My sister was the one who wanted children but couldn’t have any.” Angela quieted. She was saddened, although her sister had long since come to terms with God’s plan for her life.

  “He’s blessed me to be an aunt and a surrogate mother to each new crop of fourth graders that pass through my class each year.” Her sister’s constant reminder rang in her head.