Pieces Of Me

by Bedly Alcide

  No, I wouldn’t think like that. I couldn’t get my hopes up and have them broken. I’d waited too many years for my family to come barging through the door. I’d been disappointed for too many years to ever let myself believe in something fully.

  Two hours and one gas station later, I was cruising through Cobnutton. Although it was a small town, it was still about three times as large as Hazelwood. I was supposed to be looking for 319 Mosley Dr. I’d followed my MapQuest directions faithfully so far, and if they were valid, I would just have to turn right at the next stoplight and that would be Mosley Drive.

  It turns out that the directions were quite accurate and I was now scoping the numbers on the sides of all the houses to try and find Carson McKnight’s humble abode. This was a nice neighborhood, but these were no Voss Manors.

  Number 319 was right where it should be: between 317 and 321. The house was two stories, had a rather ugly green siding with off-white shutters and a blinding orange door. Other than the tacky paint job, the house seemed nice enough. It wasn’t in bad condition and the lawn seemed well taken care of for being in the middle of autumn.

  I parked Grandpa Plucky in the street. I would feel too imposing if I were to park it in the driveway. There was only the slightest possibility that he was my father. Even if he was, that didn’t mean I would move in or anything. We ought to take things slowly, if at all.

  Knocking on that door may have been the most intimidating thing I’ve ever had to do. I didn’t know this person. For all I knew, this could be the biggest mistake of my life! The only person I’d told where I was going was Ashton. Actually, that was a good thing. He would know where to find me if this person ended up just being a psycho who’d tried to lure me to his house with the only intention being to abduct me. That couldn’t be right, either. This person would have to know me and my address, and they’d need a motive. I’d never even been to Cobnutton before, let alone gotten on the wrong side of anyone from there.

  “I’m not buying any Girl Scout cookies, for the last time!” a voice yelled from the other side of the door. It was distinctively male, but didn’t sound exactly like a middle-aged man. Of course, his rejection only increased my uncertainty, but I knocked again, albeit timidly, regardless.

  “Can’t you people ever leave me alone?” the voice demanded before throwing open the ghastly orange door. There stood a guy, just as I’d expected. He wasn’t quite the guy I’d been expecting. The person in front of me was at least twenty years younger than I imagined my father to be. He was tall, pale-skinned, and lanky.

  “I’m sorry,” I mumbled awkwardly, shuffling my feet. I couldn’t drop my gaze from his face, though. It bore a striking resemblance to that which I saw every morning in the mirror. He had short hair, colored not unlike my own but the red was a little more subtle than it was in mine. His eyes were a deep blue that reminded me of what I imagined the depths of the ocean to look like.

  The young man didn’t say anything for a moment. I couldn’t possibly determine who he was, but he simply stood there, staring down at me upon his doorstep. His face scrunched up in confusion as if he’d seen me somewhere before but couldn’t quite remember where. Okay, so he wasn’t the only one feeling some major déjà vu.

  “Dawn?” he asked incredulously. He was dressed in camouflage, cargo pants and a bright red t-shirt. I noticed this as I tried to remember where I’d seen him before, or where I’d heard that voice before.

  I nodded my head in response to his question. “A-are you Carson McKnight?” I asked, although by now I was completely sure I’d found who I was looking for.

  “You figured out my letter!” he screamed, jumping at me in a bone-crushing hug. My body became rigid, because I wasn’t sure how comfortable I was being trapped by a complete stranger in a friendly bear-hug.

  “May I come in?” I asked after he released me. I wasn’t afraid of him anymore, at least. I knew he wasn’t trying to hurt me – au contraire – I just wasn’t sure what he was trying to protect me from. I’d gotten on sixteen year without any protection, and I didn’t understand why my life had so suddenly changed.

  “Of course, little sister,” he ushered me on in before closing the door behind me. At that same time, I’m pretty sure my jaw unhinged itself and fell to the floor. Carson McKnight was my older brother? I had a sibling? I wasn’t an only child!

  “Are you kidding me?” I asked softly, following him to what I supposed was his living room. It was surprisingly tidy. I estimated my brother’s age to be around twenty or so. That would normally mean a messy, fraternity brother-like style home.

  “I kid you not,” he said solemnly. “I, Carson McKnight, am your older half-brother.”

  “You’re only my half-brother?” I questioned curiously, sitting down on his couch. “Why is that, and where is our, or my, mom and/or dad?”

  He laughed good-naturedly. “I’m sure you have a lot of questions, Dawn. I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get into contact with you earlier. I had to make sure the Kurl wouldn’t find out whom I was or that I had been sending you letters. I’m only your half-brother because we only share a mother. My dad, Harvey McKnight, got our mom pregnant when she was only eighteen-years-old. She wasn’t ready for a commitment like that at such a young age, so she left him. After she had me, she gave me back to my father. Five years later, Gloria (that was her name) married your dad. They conceived you on the night of their wedding, and so that would make you Dawn Parma.”

  “Parma?” I asked, for that seemed like an unlikely name. “Well, where are Gloria and Harvey? And what was my father’s name?”

  “Yes, Parma is a city in Italy known for its artistic beauty. Gabriele Parma was your father’s name. His grandfather was an immigrant from Italy, if you are wondering about the name. As for the whereabouts of Gloria, Harvey, and Gabriele, that is a sad story indeed. I think you have waited long enough to hear all of the answers. What say you and I go back to Hazelwood? I think I could be of more service to you if I were nearby, and the drive might just be long enough for me to explain everything, though I doubt it,” he said, smiling.

  Alright, I’ll admit it, I already liked my brother. He was upbeat, and he had a way with words. You wouldn’t have thought we could be related. The prospect of getting to live with an actual relative was unimaginably wonderful to me. Carson McKnight and Dawn Parma; siblings. It sounded so strange, even to my mind’s ear.

  “That sounds fine. Did you used to live in my house? I imagine you’ll find your old bedroom just as you left it. I call it the spare room because I’d never actually imagined having a brother or sister before. I’d really like to know everything, if you could spare the details. I’ve gone eleven years without knowing my parents, and I can’t remember any of them before that. It would be great to know my history and origins; I need to know where I come from,” I proclaimed. I was already out of breath. My vocal chords weren’t used to being exercised that much, apart from yesterday when I spilled absolutely everything to Ashton. Would he and Carson meet? Would they get along?

  “That’s what I’m hoping for. Yes, I had a room there. I moved back in forth between your place and my dad’s. Even though Harvey had full custody, Gloria still liked to see me once every couple of weeks or so. I think I just reminded her too much of my dad, and that was painful for her. Now, I’m sure you’d like to hear the full story, so we ought to be leaving,” he answered.

  We headed for the door.

  Chapter 7: The Truth

  I knew the truth now. I knew everything, really. I was aware of why my mother, Gloria, and my father, Gabriele, abandoned me when I was only a toddler. It all made sense, I suppose. The pain was still there, however. I still felt betrayed by my own family.

  It wasn’t a good feeling. On the other hand, I no longer felt so empty on the inside. The missing pieces of my heart and soul had been filled by the knowledge my brother had given me, and by Carson himself. He was such an uplifting spirit that I couldn’t help but be in a good moo
d by the time we got back to Hazelwood, despite the tragic news of my parents.

  I didn’t fully understand that story, but I strained my comprehension abilities to their fullest extent. Carson only referred to my Algebra teacher as the Kurl, so the view of my Algebra teacher changed dramatically during that car ride.

  Apparently, Gabriele and Gloria had been high school sweethearts. From what Carson had originally told me while in his living room, I’d thought that my parents hadn’t met until after Carson was born. This was evidently not the case, however. The Kurl had been madly in love with my father. She’d been pining after him since the first day of high school. According to my brother, the Kurl had given Gabriele the creeps.

  After Mrs. Kurl was rejected the first time, she began stalking my dad. She slept outside of his house in her car. She drove behind him on their way to school. Gabriele was too scared to file for a police report because she didn’t know what the Kurl was capable of. She didn’t have many friends, but it wasn’t because she was anti-social. No, she struck up conversations with all of the popular kids, but nobody wanted a stalking tag-along.

  My mom and dad started dating sophomore year, and when the Kurl found out, she was furious. She began doing horrible things to my mother. For example, the week after my parents were officially an ‘item,’ Gloria found her locker completely vandalized. The graffiti that covered it was not complimentary to my mom’s love life. Sometime in the following month, my mom almost got killed in a car wreck before discovering that her break lines had been clipped.

  Gabriele was absolutely furious. There was no doubt in his mind who had been behind all of his girlfriend’s misfortune. He did finally go to the authorities. Unfortunately, the Kurl had hidden her tracks very well. There was no trace of fingerprints on the break lines or on the empty cans of spray paint they’d found in the garbage can nearest to my mom’s locker after the vandalism incident.

  The Kurl was taken into custody, but she only got put on probation, seeing as they couldn’t prove much of anything except for a motive. That didn’t stop her from all of her treacherous deeds. Gloria was still getting ‘anonymous,’ untraceable phone calls from a muffled voice telling her to stay away from Gabriele if she valued her life. My mom had been utterly terrified and distraught. She didn’t know what to do.

  Then, suddenly and miraculously, the Kurl ended up moving away. Neither Gabriele nor Gloria saw her again throughout high school. Unfortunately, after a big fight over something Carson couldn’t remember, my parents broke up. Gloria’s senior year, she got involved with Harvey McKnight. He was supposedly some sort of ‘stud,’ in Carson’s words. I think he only said that because he also mentioned how much he and his father looked alike. I tried my best not to laugh at that.

  Too soon after my mom and Carson’s dad started going out, they conceived a baby boy. Gloria was scared and she blamed Harvey for the accident. Therefore, that relationship ended as quickly as it had begun. Even though I’d been an accident, I know our mother loved me, despite the fact that she gave my father custody.

  After graduation high school, Gloria met my dad, Gabriele at a high school reunion. They hit it off instantly, and basically picked up where they left off, any troubles they’d had before were forgotten. Carson thinks it was only a couple of months after that reunion that they were eloping. Neither of their parents approved of the relationship between the two. Gloria’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Telnor, thought that Gabriele wasn’t good enough for their little girl after he broke her heart in high school. Mr. and Mrs. Parma, Gabriele’s father and mother, didn’t think Gloria came from a wealthy enough family to serve as a good housewife for their strapping, young fellow.

  Nonetheless, my parents were in love, and nothing could stop them from getting married. And so they did. Just as Carson had told me earlier, I was conceived on their wedding night. Not longer after Gloria became pregnant with her second child, she and my father bought the house that I currently lived in.

  For five glorious years, the three of us resided in Hazelwood in serenity like the Three Musketeers. My parents were happier than they’d ever been and figured life couldn’t get much better than that. Carson visited for a couple of nights every few weeks or so. Gabriele was surprisingly accepting of hi partial residence at his home, considering that he came from the man who’d had a child with our mother other than himself. Carson loved visiting our house because it always felt so cozy and familiar; like nothing could ever go wrong.

  My fifth birthday turned everything upside down. My parents had registered me for Kindergarten at the single elementary school in Hazelwood. The day that I turned five-years-old, they got a faculty list of all the teachers who worked at the public school system up through grade twelve. The Hazelwood elementary, middle, and high school were all connected, so most people went to school together for thirteen years straight.

  That was the first year the Kurl had started working at the Hazelwood school system. She’d been an Algebra teacher even then. Of course, the idea of their only daughter attending school where Gabriele’s former, potentially dangerous stalker was teaching, was not appealing to my father or Gloria.

  Having no idea what else to do, Gabriele confronted the Kurl. He’d warned our mother to stay home with me and Carson. He’d been staying with us at the time. All Gabriele wanted to do was talk to the Kurl and see if she’d changed any. He didn’t plan on mentioning anything about me, for fear of her coming after me in revenge.

  I didn’t remember any of this. It frustrated me that I simply could not recall my parents faces. Even after seeing Carson, whom I’d apparently gotten on so well with as a little girl, I only felt a vague sense of familiarity. I couldn’t, however, picture spending any time with him before in my life. Oh, how I wished I could.

  Anyway, it was long into the night before Gabriele finally returned from his confrontation. He’d left early in the afternoon and had been expected home hours ago. Carson said that he could still remember our mom pacing frantically around the entire house. She’d ended up cleaning the entire house. Apparently, she cleaned when she was nervous.

  The sight of a pale-faced and bloody Gabriele barging through the door did not exactly ease her anxiety, either. The Kurl had shot him. After he’d had a long talk with her about if she’d changed her ways, she’d gotten down on her knees and begged. She begged him to come back to her. She pleaded desperately, wildly, for him to love her like she did him. Gabriele had politely shrugged away from her grasping hands and declined her offer, saying that he’d gotten married . . . to Gloria.

  In a fit of fury, the Kurl had crawled over to her desk drawer pulled something out and aimed that something right at my father. She’d had only one thing to say to him.

  “If I can’t have your love, no one can.” Then, she fired her gun, and Gabriele was sprinting through the school. He knew he had to get home. He had to keep Gloria, Carson, and I safe from her.

  His shirt had been soaked with blood when he’d arrive back on our doorstep. The bullet had evidently gone a bit too deep in his torso. Mom had bandaged it with some gauze and medical tape from the first-aid kit as best she could, but they had to pack and leave. Nobody was safe here anymore. The small, serene town that my parents had grown to love, had ultimately turned out to be the most dangerous place for them.

  My parents had gotten to thinking while packing all of their possessions into the van they’d owned then. The Kurl didn’t know about me. Gabriele hadn’t said anything to her about having a child. He’d only said that he’d heard she was back in town and he wanted to talk to her. I would still be safe here as long as there was no possible way that I would be affiliated with either of my parents.

  I was already a very bright, young girl by then. I could fix my own meals, I oftentimes went down to the local market for groceries. In a town like Hazelwood, there hadn’t been any crime to worry about before the Kurl. I was as self-sufficient as they could hope for. Hence, they left me there. They figured the Kurl would follow t
hem and I would be protected. They took all of my files: my birth certificate, my dental records, even any trace of my last name. All I had left was a home, a truck I wouldn’t be able to use for eleven years, and a first name.

  Gabriele Parma died that night. Even if they’d gotten him to a hospital, which they didn’t have time for, there was nothing anybody could have done. They’d packed the van with most of their possessions. They left enough groceries for a month, that wouldn’t go bad. They left everything in my room except for family photos or anything that would refer to my parentage. They cleared out Carson’s room completely. They left the bedding in their own master bedroom. It was the only thing they could think of to leave me so that I would always have a little piece of my parents.

  Gloria brought her dead husband’s body with her, unable to part with him after all they’d been through together. Carson, who’d only been eleven-years-old at the time, had not really understood much of what was going on. He only knew that he was leaving me forever and that he could no longer talk to Gabriele.

  Before they’d left, he remembered Gloria talking to me. She told me that I would be on my own for now, but that she and my father loved me more than anything in the world. She said to be careful, and to never let my guard down around anyway. Among other things such as I would have to buy all my own food now, and they would send money through the mail, I must never try and go after them if I knew what was good for me.