Rise of the Titan
Page 18
“A woman like me?” Her words sounded breathless. “What do you mean?”
“There’s more to you than meets the eye. You’re a strong woman, and I have no doubt that you can handle your own.” His eyes turned a darker shade of gray. “You’re bold, sassy, and uh...” His laugh was sexy as hell. “…highly opinionated. All of those things are admirable qualities.” He wagged a finger at her. “The world wants to know the real woman that breathes. But, yet, you hide some parts of her. Why? That, I don’t get.” Carefully, he placed the empty glass down and then turned towards her again. “Are you afraid by opening up, people will get too close? My instincts are telling me that’s your truth.”
And it was her truth.
But, she wasn’t going to confess it.
She raised her chin stubbornly. “Perhaps your instincts are wrong---”
A finger met her lips.
She expelled a breath of surprise.
His eyes darkened against the raging firelight. “My instincts are never wrong.”
“Arrogance,” she whispered against his finger.
A devilish glint shone in his eyes. “A quality I boldly accept.”
“You’re hopeless.”
“You’re beginning to know me already,” he said huskily, keeping his finger in place. “That’s a scary thing, at least for me.”
With reluctance, she pushed his hand away.
She gazed into the firelight.
How could she gear things to safer territory?
Who was she kidding?
Safety was a foreign concept in Titan’s world.
Only a dangerous excitement thrived.
“Tell me. How is it possible that someone like you ends up at a place like Sinful Shades? Kickass independence, intelligence, talent, and beauty---all of the qualities that have no place in that kind of world...So, forgive me for asking again, damsel. Why sell yourself short and settle?” he questioned and fixed his stare on her. “The sky’s the limit for you. Go chase the fuckin’ rainbow and find your dream. If not, that place will continue to be your dream killer. ” He blew an exasperated breath. “Damn it, you’re too good for it. It doesn’t make sense for you to stay.”
She dropped her eyes.
The guilt compounded within her again.
If only, she could tell the truth.
If only, she could be who she really was.
If only, if only, if only---
“Damsel, please look at me.”
As their gazes clashed again, she ignored her thundering heartbeat. Looking at him was so hard and easy at the same time. Difficult because of the need to keep her flourishing attraction to him secret….easy because she loved ogling him…
“By no means, am I downing or judging you,” he reasoned in a fast breath. “But, there’s more to life than being a stripper. With your talent and potential, you can go places. I know people. I have connections. If you want---”
It hurt to even look at him.
She was a lie.
How could she continue to be so, especially when he was being so sincere?
“I don’t want or need your help,” she said defensively. “So drop it.”
“My intentions aren’t to upset you. I only want you to listen to reason,” he sighed. “Again, it just doesn’t make sense.”
“Does anything really ever? We’re all just players in fate’s game.”
“And what game are you playing?”
“Survival---making it.” That was her real truth. “Just trying to make sense of things and stake a personal claim in this crazy world that we live in.”
“In this life, we live and die at the same time.” His features were etched with a dead seriousness. “Survival is our basic instinct.”
“What do you mean when you say that?” she asked, interest piqued. “We live and die at the same time?”
“A man can be alive, but still not be living. Although his heart beats behind his chest, all the while, he’s dying from life’s choices---the ones that he’s forced to make or those that are completely out of his control. The lingering consequences are what fester inside of him. They either bring him hope or eat him alive.” Tensing beside her, he looked to the flames again. “So, we forge a pact with fate. Like you said, just to survive, we play the game. But, some of us gamble away any rights for real peace or happiness.”
They both fell silent.
The quiet gave her time to fully ponder his words.
Her eyes smarted with tears.
Every word that he spoke was the truth.
How long had she been living and dying at the same time?
Didn’t she still feel that way now?
She cut a surreptitious glance in his direction.
His jaw line was taut with tension.
And finally, she realized that he’d revealed a part of himself.
This was how he felt.
She looked away from him saddened.
“While you’re a gambler, you don’t have to lose. You’re one of the good guys, Bella. So, don’t give up and cheat yourself for the chance at real happiness,” he stated firmly, breaking the silence again. “While it’s not even a remote possibility for an asshole like me, you deserve it. There’s a world outside of Sinful Shades. Don’t let that place become your forever.” He grabbed the empty glass from the floor, and again, she sensed his discomfort. “I won’t bore you any further with my warped version of self-psychology. So, this time, I bid you good night.”
But, she didn’t want to say goodnight.
Not yet.
She grasped his hand as he moved to stand, and the action surprised him. “Wait,” she whispered in a breathless tone, and her eyes searched his. For a brief second, they just watched one another. A myriad of conflicting emotions swam within his eyes, and heaven help her, she wanted to calm his storm. “I have something to say.”
“Okay,” he muttered, somewhat huskily, obviously still taken aback. “What?”
“It may not be my place to say it, but I will anyway.” Her hold tightened on his hand. “Don’t continue living in your father’s shadow. Despite what the rest of the world thinks, you are your own man. You are.” The tears stung her eyes. “Go be him.”
Before he could speak, she jumped up.
Without looking back, she fled.
***
Dumbfounded, speechless, he watched as she ran away.
When she was fully out of sight, he turned towards the dying fire.
“Fuck,” he whispered to the silence. “Those are some heavy words, damsel. Living out of my father’s shadow, how in the hell do I do that?”
But, was it a possibility?
Could he survive in this world and not fixate on the breathing hatred for the man that spawned him? Seeking revenge against Vitali had become his life, and in a sad true fashion, he’d become like him in some ways. It was a fact that he was ashamed and reluctant to own up to.
“Go be him,” he murmured, repeating her last words, and then pondered them deeply. “The problem is, I don’t exactly know what or who that man is. Hell, I don’t even know if he exists.”
But, her idea was appealing.
For a brief second, hope bloomed within him.
Finally, after all this time, someone actually believed that he could.
But, was it really possible?
In truth, did he believe it?
Seconds later, he shut off the lights.
He stood in the darkness.
The answer never came.
Chapter 9
Three more weeks passed.
To no surprise, she’d settled in easily, and together, they established a natural rapport.
Considering their emotional encounters, it was a given.
Later that morning, at precisely 10:12, she smiled at him sweetly before sliding a furtive glance at the cards in her hands. Then, her gaze switched to him again. A roguish playfulness was etched on his features, and over the last weeks, she’d experienced different bo
uts of his wicked sense of humor. And right now, he had one hell of a poker face, but still, she sensed a joking lightness about him. His twitching lips indicated that he was fighting to restrain a laugh.
“Your turn,” he muttered, spreading his cards wider apart. Then, he winked at her playfully. “Don’t take this too hard, damsel. But, I know that I’ve got this shit. Just promise me that you won’t be a sore loser.”
She narrowed her eyes. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Taking her thumb and forefinger, she flicked the ace card onto the table. Fluttering her eyelashes, she gave him a smug smile. “Now, beat that, Sir Titan.”
“What the hell?” Suddenly, he erupted with laughter and then flung the cards down onto the table. “That’s it. I’m out.” Leaning back in the chair, he gave her a wolfish grin. “And you win---again.” His long challenging stare made her heart flip-flop. “Why don’t you admit it? You cheated. What’s your secret strategy?”
Her brows furrowed in a playful frown. “Cheated? I’m officially offended.”
“Don’t be.” His sexy laugh was contagious. “You certainly wouldn’t be the first player to have, uh, flavorful tactics, when it comes to winning.”
She shrugged before confiscating the loose cards from the card table. “Now, you’re being absurd. Not my fault that you can’t get a winning hand.” Her teasing gaze met his. “As the saying goes, don’t hate the player, hate the game.”
“Damn, woman. Where’s your tact?” The humorous gleam in his eyes shined brighter. “And now, you’re being a smart ass.”
Giggling, she covered her mouth with her hands. “Am I being horribly bad? I’m sorry, but I just like to win.”
His brows shot up. “I can definitely see that.” He blew a breath. “Well, I don’t feel like getting my ass kicked in another card game. So, what do you want to do now?”
“I don’t know,” she said shyly, staring at him across the table, and again her heartbeat fluttered. “What do you want to do?”
The static from the walkie-talkie spared him. “Titan, are you there? Over.”
He snatched it from the table quick. “What’s going on, man? Over and out.”
“Need you to come down and take a look at this. You’re not going to like it.”
The words were like an ice bucket.
They jarred her from the imaginary world that she’d created for them in her head. A world where they were two different people, in a different time, and a different situation…Each one hurtled her back to reality.
Staring past him, she fought to keep her expression blank.
Damn it!
There was only one truth.
She had a job to do.
But, how, considering that they’d drawn closer?
“Alright,” he frowned, holding the instrument close to his mouth. “Over and out.” Then, standing up from the table, he looked over at her. Like a magician’s wand, the words had seemed to change his entire attitude. It seemed that his light mood had dissipated altogether. Now, an air of secrecy exuded from him in waves. “Unfortunately, we’re going to have to take a rain check. There’s something that I have to take care of.”
Tensing further, she stood. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. Just have to step out a bit and catch up with Cassius.”
Catch up with Cassius?
Like with something illegal and incriminating?
Again, the questions were too disturbing for her.
“Well, can I go?” she probed, fighting past her rising disappointment. Why was she finding it so hard to stay detached? Why was she feeling things for him? Her lack of control over the situation was crushing. “I’ve pretty much been cooped up here in this house for weeks.” She swallowed hard as she looked at him. Sweet goodness, why couldn’t things be different for them? But, they weren’t, she reminded herself and stiffened. Reality was just reality. That reality was that they were standing on opposite sides of the law. Why didn’t her crazy heart understand that? The thought made her raise her chin stubbornly. “A change of scenery would be nice.”
“You’d be trampling around in the woods,” he suggested with a strange look. “And it’s still pretty wet out.”
She stiffened. “Something tells me that you don’t want me to go.”
“It’s not that,” he spat with a fast breath. “The woods aren’t a place---”
“And here it was with me thinking that I was wrong about you having a caveman approach,” she smarted, turning away from him in a huff. “I can see that my initial assertions were dead on. Well, go.” Fuming, she headed for the stairs. “Leave me here to suffer with my own company like you always do---” She started as he grabbed her arm, and then gasped in surprise when he spun her around. Her startled gaze flew to his. “What are you doing?”
“Chipping away at that boulder on your shoulder,” he said sharply, scowling down at her. “Damn it, woman, you won’t let me get a word in edgewise.”
“Well, maybe if you were saying something important, I would,” she snapped, snatching free. “Since you’re not, shut it.”
“What’s wrong with you?” His inquisitive stare deepened. “We were relaxed and having fun earlier. But, now, you’re angry and tense. Why?”
“I’m not angry---”
“And I call bullshit,” he shot back quick. “You’re suddenly irked at me for no given reason, and I want to know why.”
She glowered at him. “I’m not upset with you.”
“Double bullshit.” A sensual smile curled his lip and then fell. “You’re lying.” As he stepped closer to her, she drew in a sharp breath. “When I leave, you know that you’ll miss my company, just as I’ll miss yours. Guess what? I like being with you, too. You mesmerize me beyond belief.” His words dropped lower while the fire leapt higher in his gray orbs. “So, why don’t we just be upfront with one another? No more games.”
“You’re wrong about us,” she fought back passionately. While her insides raged a private war, she tilted her chin upward and stood her ground. Within their gazes, a volatile battle brewed, tinged with a blatant sexual nature. “And I’m certainly not playing games.”
“Really?” he asked, taking a damning step closer, and caused her to release another breathless sound. “What if I called you a liar?”
The searing heat between them intensified to a fever pitch, and heaven help them, they were both in danger of being scorched alive. The barrier between them was no longer there and was only crumbled fractured pieces at their feet. For the first time, since their encounter at the club weeks ago, they were actually confronting their mutual sexual haunting.
What would happen between them when they gave into it?
Their reactions right now indicated a high lack of self-control.
A sexual encounter between them would be reckless and wildly passionate.
“I don’t care what you think,” she lied with a soft whisper. “And despite what you believe, I’m not afraid of you.”
“That is your gravest mistake yet, damsel. I’m the very one that you should fear. In more ways than one,” he growled low under his breath, and his hot gaze dropped to her trembling lips. Then, reaching out, he traced a light path along the edges of her face, and a helpless shudder coursed through her. A knowing light glimmered in his gray orbs at her tell-tale sign. “But, something tells me that you already know how much of a threat I am to you. Your secret acceptance of the fact only makes things that more intriguing between us.” Her lips parted on instinct as he raised her chin higher, forcing her gaze straight to his. “Since the moment we met, there have been so many unspoken things between us, and these last weeks, we’ve been simply play pretending. Heed these words of warning, damsel. The fucking game’s about up, and I sure in the hell don’t fight fair. When I see someone or something that I want, I’m not above using whatever tactics I must to claim it.”
Speechless, she stared at him mouth agape.
When he dropped his hand and move
d away, her spellbound gaze followed him. Once he reached the stairwell, he turned and faced her again. A momentous second came and held as their gazes clashed. Finally, he spoke again. “I’m going to grab a couple of jackets. We’ll leave shortly.”
***
The day was a cool and wet one.
But, the rain quickly dissipated as they began their travel.
While sitting on the passenger’s side of the Jeep, she was merely a spectator and took in every moment to sightsee. The mountainous area was breathtaking in every sense, she mulled, staring out the window. Like powerful gladiators, the Georgian pines demanded attention within the deep woods, standing at surmountable heights. A deep peacefulness resonated throughout, and the ride had been relaxing.
They’d been traveling for about 15 minutes.
She spared a fast glance at him.
He was tense.
Since leaving the house earlier, he’d barely spoken a word to her.
Miffed, she stared out the window moodily again.
Why did this man have the ability to affect her?
“You plan on talking to me again?” she demanded, unable to bear the silence any longer, and turned sideways in the seat. “If I’d known that you’d go completely mute, I wouldn’t have asked to come to begin with.”
“Just have a lot on my mind right now.” His jaw stiffened. “Don’t take it personally.”
“Don’t take it personally?” she asked breathing fast. “You haven’t said a single word to me since we left.”
An arrogant smile turned his lips. “Missing me that much, huh?”
She groaned. “I swear that ego of yours---”
“Yes, I’m an insufferable bastard. I know.” Reaching out, he chucked her chin before sobering again. His knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. “Seriously, damsel, my silence has little to do with you.”
“Is something wrong? Does it have something to do with what Cassius wants you to see?”
He tensed further. “Are we playing twenty questions now?”
“No, I’m just curious, that’s all.”
“Well, don’t be,” he quipped tightly. “So, quit worrying your pretty head about it.”