Growing stone cold, he released her. “You heard that?”
“Yes,” she nodded, gaze troubled. “Are you going to tell me what happened with that?”
Stalling, he turned away from her. “You weren’t supposed to hear that. The only way that you could was if you were eavesdropping.” Turning, eyes cool, he looked at her. “Is that what you did?”
“My hearing things, it wasn’t intentional, I swear to you,” she said hurriedly, stepping closer to him. “We’d just made love.” A warm embarrassing blush stained her brown features. “When I awakened alone, I decided to find you. You and Cassius were in the study talking. The door was partially cracked. Just as I went to knock, I overheard your conversation---”
“And that’s why you ran,” At the realization, his face became marred with both sadness and regret. “Hell, it all makes sense now. Here we were, all high on sexual euphoria, and then the real world intervenes.” His gaze turned troubled. “I lost you because of me…because of the things that I’ve done.”
“I ran mainly because I was afraid. I was afraid of my feelings for you,” she whispered. “More than anything…”
“Your fear was that you were falling for a monster, am I right?”
She swallowed hard. “At that time, yes.”
“Don’t be upset with yourself,” he said, aiming the blame at himself. “Now, looking back…maybe you should keep running.” The raw anger seized his visage. “Run as far the hell away from me as you can. I’m nothing but trouble. In the end, I’ll destroy you---”
“Don’t say that,” she implored, surprising him, and grabbed hold of his waist. AS she did, her pleading eyes clung to his again. “You’d never hurt me or anyone else.”
Still, a bit of his hurt lingered.
“Yet, you believed then that I’d murdered someone---”
“No, I didn’t,” she said in swift denial. “I was just confused as to what happened. So, that’s why I’m asking you now. What happened that night with you and Cassius? Did you actually bury someone?”
“The truth will scare you---”
“If I were afraid of your truths, I wouldn’t still be standing here.” She firmed her chin and tilted it upward. “By now, you should realize that.”
“I’d seized one of Vitali’s shipments.” Finally, he relented with a deep private relief. Keeping such disturbing things a secret was taxing. Too, why did he want to share his darkest and deepest secrets with her? It was a thought he couldn’t fully ponder, he decided and continued. “For the last several months, I’ve been doing just that.”
“You’ve been so savvy that Vitali hasn’t suspected a thing,” she said in pure amazement and partly awe. There was no denying the glowing respect on her face. “Right under his nose, his entire empire is crumbling.”
“That’s my intent. Shipment by shipment, whorehouse by whorehouse,” he said bitterly, staring past her. “I’m going to bring him down.”
“I get that.” Her stare lasted a second. “But, what about the person that you buried? How did that come about?”
“Know what’s not normal?” He gave an abrupt laugh. “Us standing here talking about it like we’re discussing the weather or daily news. Our actions seem a bit morbid, don’t you think?”
“How are we supposed to discuss it, especially since it is morbid?”
He raised a brow. “You have a point.”
“Then get to it.”
“Like the other stolen shipments, it was brought here. As usual, Cassius and I take the means to destroy them.”
“So, Cassius is involved in this vendetta against Vitali as well?”
“Leave him out of this. If there’s anyone that’s taking the fall for any of this, it’s me, alright?” He released another tired breath. “Make no mention of him ever, do you understand me?”
“Alright,” she agreed quickly. “I won’t say anything further about him.”
“As I was saying, the shipment came here.” He studied her close. “Remember that day we met Cassius at the stables?”
“Yes,” she nodded confused. “And you left---”
“Cassius warned me that there was big trouble.”
“And that’s why he was so uptight,” she murmured in quiet recollection. “Certainly, my arrival hindered things.”
“In truth, they did.” He nodded. “Anyway, I went to check the shipment. When I got there, things seemed customary, at least by those standards. But, as I got a closer inspection of the pallet, I realized that something was off.” His voice dropped lower. “I looked closer and closer…and I spied a dead body.”
She held her breath again. “Who was it?”
“Caesar Velasquez---a two-bit drug dealer who’d swank anyone for the correct amount of money---was perfectly buried within pounds of pure cocaine.” As his gaze settled on her features again, he took in her expression. There was just something unexplainable about it. Still, though, he trudged on for confessing was freeing him from months of loaded guilt. “For a moment, I panicked and questioned what my next move should be. I mean, hell, not only di I have a shipload of drugs. But, I had a dead body as well.”
“Long story short, a decision had to be made…”she finished for him. “So, the two of you buried his body.”
“It’s not my most stellar moment. In fact, it’ll probably send me straight to hell.” His troubled expression worsened. “We did our best to give the man a proper burial. But, there’s no justification for our actions.”
“If you feel that guilty about it,” she murmured, pursing her lips together. “…find a way to rectify the situation.”
“How in the hell am I supposed to do that?”
“I don’t know,” she floundered, wide-eyed, waving a hand. “Just do something.”
“There are no other options. Why do you think we had that little run-in with Velasquez?” His expression was thunderous. “The son-of-a-bitch is out for blood. How do you think he’ll react once the truth is out, namely the fact that I was involved?”
“Did you find the body? Yes. Did you kill him? No. That’s the thing that counts most.” She edged closer to him. “Someone else is responsible for him being dead.” Pausing, she looked away from him uncomfortably, then back again. “No doubt, you do have suspicions as to who is.”
“There’s no point in my saying a name out loud that you already know. Like me, you know what he’s capable of, but you turn a blind eye to it.” His gaze contained pure exasperation. “Question is---will you accept it? Better yet, will it finally convince you to leave?”
“I don’t want to talk about that right now,” she murmured, blinking fast. “At the moment, we’re talking about you.” A suppressed sigh left her. “I don’t want you to be in any trouble.” Pushing a hand through her disheveled tresses again, she tugged at the mane, pulling it further backward. On her face, every bit of her stress was shone. Then, her brows pierced together in a concentrated frown. “You said that you had connections. Surely, you’re knowledgeable of criminal attorneys.”
“Of course, I am,” he scoffed. “Besides that, I already have a personal attorney.”
“Surely, then, you trust this individual enough?”
“I do. Yet, in this case, I think that I’m in need a good legal team.”
“There won’t be any argument from me on that,” she replied with careful consideration. “A good legal team is what’s needed if you’re going to get out of this.”
“So, that’s the plan?” he bit back fast. “Throwing myself at the mercy of the courts? With our fucked up justice system, I don’t anticipate much fairness.”
“No, you’re wrong.” She gulped hard.” The good guys are not the enemy.”
He gave a look of disbelief. “You really believe that?”
“Yes, I do.”
“A naïve approach, but I get it.”
“Naïve or not, you know that I’m right.”
“Again, how do you think it’s possible to turn this around?”
“Find a way. Make this situation work in your favor. Either way you decide to handle it, it has to end up on the right side of things. Look, I understand that you’re running on this tangent of making Carlo pay, and I get that. But, believe it or not, there is a legal path to do it, so follow it,” she pleaded earnestly, planting both hands against his chest. Beneath her touch, his heartbeat thundered out of control. If she noticed, she didn’t let on. “While you don’t believe this, there are people out there who will listen. Everyone on the legal side of the law has a single ethic---protecting people. They will protect you.”
“I don’t know, Bella. That’s a tall bill---”
“Please, just trust me on this,” she whispered, catching his chin, and searched his face. “Promise me that you’ll take what I said into consideration.”
“Why are you doing this?” Against his will, his eyes ran over her beautiful face and tracked every line. “With the snap of a finger, I could potentially turn your world upside down. The moment all of this hits the fan about Vitali, you could lose the little imperfect world that you’ve built with him.”
“We’re friends, and I care about you.” .Her eyelashes flitted nervously “That’s what I’m taking into consideration with this whole mess. Certainly, I can’t dictate how you handle things with your father.”
Their gazes held longer than necessary.
“Are you sure that’s all to it?”
She licked her lip nervously. “What else could it be?”
His face tightened before cooling. “Of course, it’s nothing more.”
“It’s late.” She looked away from him flustered and then back again. “I think that I’ll go back to bed.”
“Me too.” His nod was abrupt. “Like you said, it’s late.”
“W--well,” she stammered, gulping hard, and dropped her eyes. “Goodnight.”
“See you in the morning.”
Heart aching, soul bleeding, he watched her walk away.
Chapter 21
The next morning was hell.
Or was it even morning, she mulled distractedly, staring towards the window. The curtains stood wide open. No light escaped inside, and in fact, it seemed that the day had left and brought about night. Like always, time stood still on this extremely painful day of remembrance.
On point, the dreary and dreaded day of Gage’s death anniversary…
“Oh, Gage, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, pained. “Please forgive me.”
With a hollowed look, she stared across the bedroom.
It was as dark and morose as her feelings.
As the screams echoed in her head again, she squeezed her eyes closed tight. Still, Gage’s youthful tone haunted her. “Bella…Bella…I’m scared…so scared…why didn’t you save me?” There was the sound of ricocheting bullets. “Pow…pow…pow…pow…”
Though she tried to suppress them, the haunted screams still left her.
As loud as she cried out, though, there was no solace.
In her mind, only the tortured sounds played.
“You promised to protect me,” Gage cried pitifully, and his bloodied image swam before her face. “You were supposed to protect me…protect me…protect me…”
Shell-shocked, sobbing uncontrollably, she curled into a ball on the bed.
Instantly, she was transported back to the past.
Eyes wide-open, stilling, she lay there, almost lifelessly, as it played out.
“We’re going on a field trip, Izzy,” Gage grinned with all of his snaggletooth excitement. The noises from the street corner didn’t even hinder his eagerness. Then, clutching her hand shyly, he snuggled closer on the bench. “I like waiting at the bus stop, don’t you?”
“Yes, I do, honey.” She smiled against his head. “Especially since I get to spend so much time with you.” Pulling back somewhat, she looked down at the huddled figure against hers. “Why don’t you tell me more about this field trip?”
“It’s the Science Planetarium Center! We’re supposed to see a baby white shark, and we can even pretend that we’re on a rocket.” His youthful expression turned solemn. “But, I’m not even sure that I’ll be able to go.”
“And wouldn’t you?” she asked, firming her lips.
“The trip costs $50.00 and stuff.” He shrugged his little shoulders. “Plus, I don’t have anyone to go with me.” His brown face warmed deeper. “But, I was thinking…”
“What were you thinking?” she prodded gently.
“I was hoping that you’d go with me.”
“Of course, I’ll go with you, silly!” She hugged him closer to her. “I was just waiting for you to ask.”
His brown eyes widened with surprise. “You have?”
She tweaked his nose affectionately. “Yes, I have.”
“Oh, boy! This is going to be so much fun! I promise that I won’t let the shark bite you. But, when you pet him, you have to be gentle.” He sucked in an anxious breath. “Oh, no. I left my permission slip at the shelter, and it’s due by tomorrow.”
“Hey, don’t worry. We’ll get there.” Finally, the big yellow school bus veered around the street corner and into view. Together, they stood. “And there’s big yellow to take you to another fun-filled day.”
“But, no days are more fun than the ones I spend with you.” Suddenly, Gage went teary-eyed, and as he did, he hugged her tightly. “I love you, Izzy. In my heart, you are my mommy. Can I call you that?”
Biting her trembling lips, she fought back the tears.
For a second, she was too overcome with emotions to speak.
“Yes, you can call me, Mommy.” She squatted down until they were eye-level. “No matter what happens, I’ll love you always, sweet boy. Now give me a hug.”
As he hurled himself into her arms, she was crippled further with emotions.
But, when he pulled back, she was all smiles.
“Will you be here this afternoon when the bus runs?” Gage asked hopefully, peering up at her, and clung to her hand. “Please, Izzy.”
“I’ll be here.”
“You promise?”
She raised a hand. “Scouts’ honor.”
Even as the bus veered out of sight, moments later, she stayed rooted to the spot. “We’ll be a family one day and soon,” she murmured quietly. “As soon as the attorney works out everything, we can forge ahead with the adoption proceedings.” She sent her gaze upward. “Please let everything work out.”
The afternoon arrived.
Her prayers weren’t answered.
Every memory afterward was too scattered and painful to contain, she moaned, curling into a tighter ball on the bed. With red-swollen eyes, she tried to focus, but again, the horrible memories swamped her over.
“No,” she mumbled miserably, shaking her head fast as if crazed. “No, no, no…”
Still, the dark memories plunged her into despair.
“Bella, wait,” Monique sobbed, grabbing her in a firm hold. The dark mascara ran down her face, and her beautiful features were stricken with pure horror. “You can’t go in there.”
“What’s going on?” she asked in a trembling voice. Stumbling, she nearly fell in the three-inch heels. Suddenly, the skimpy dancing attire seemed restrictive, and she was finding it difficult to breathe. Monique’s reaction was too telling. Something was horribly wrong! “What are you not telling me--”
The door to the private dancing quarters swung open.
As it did, she immediately caught sight of Carlo.
A menacing look stole his crude features.
In his right hand, he clutched a semi-automatic handgun.
Directly at his feet, there was a small heap.
An air of familiarity stirred at the sight.
It was a small child.
Suddenly, the world became a narrowed focus.
“Gage?” she whispered painfully. “Dear heavens, no, no, no…”
“Bella, no!” Monique cried out, struggling to hold onto her.
Crying hard, she finally broke free.
The very minute she entered the room, she stopped running.
Paralyzed with shock, she drank in the horrifying sight.
“Gage?” she whispered, taking a tentative step forward. A hard pain constricted in her chest when he didn’t respond. Her words became more crazed and wild. “Gage…Gage…”
“He shouldn’t have been here,” Carlo said coldly, breaking into her thoughts. “This is all your doing isn’t it?”
Releasing a pained cry, she tore across the room.
As she dropped down beside Gage’s lifeless body, she sobbed uncontrollably. “No, no, no!” she yelled, crazed, clutching him to her. On the floor beside him, the field trip paper was drenched with pure blood. “No!”
“The little bastard asked for it,” Carlo said cruelly, staring down at her. “He didn’t have the good sense to keep quiet.”
“What did you do?” she wept openly. “What did you do to him?”
“I had no choice, alright?” Swinging around wide, Carlo eyed everyone else standing in the room, no one more than his usual flunkies. “He walked in on a deal. Considering his situation, I have no doubts that he would have squealed---”
“You killed him! You killed him!”
Like a wild woman, she jumped up before charging at him.
A violent expletive left him. “What the fuck---”
“Damn you!” she screamed wildly, kicking, and scratching. At the sound of his pained grunts, she struck him harder and harder. She was still fighting hard as she was pulled off of him. “Damn you to hell, Carlo!”
“Get her out here!” Carlo demanded forcefully and nursed his injured jaw. “Take her home and leave her. As for the kid, dispose of his body. I don’t care where just get him out of my sight.”
“Will do, boss,” Akumu muttered, clutching her in a bone-crushing hold. “We’ll take care of it.”
“Gage…Gage..Gage…” she whispered faintly.
Finally, weakened, she blacked out.
“I lost him,” she cried pitifully, hugging the pillow close. “I lost him…”
The sudden pounding at the door made her jump.
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