Juliette and the Monday ManDates

by Becky Doughty

  Gia translated. "Whatcha got there?"

  "What do you think?" Renata asked, rolling her eyes. "Green Dragon. Fine dining by Juliette."

  "Rummy!" Phoebe declared.

  "Yummy," Gia echoed.

  They headed inside and set the table with paper plates and forks. Gia poured Ginger Ale for each of them, the traditional drink of the Gustafson family when dining on Chinese takeout, and Renata made sure everyone had napkins and their fair share of hot mustard and soy sauce packets. Renata prayed a blessing over the food and their time together, then Gia began the G-FOURce pledge. As the last word died out, Gia leaned forward and let out an impassioned plea.

  "Tell us, Jules. Tell us everything!"

  "Well," Juliette began, her eyes sparkling. At the anticipation in Gia's eyes, she almost felt badly about the little game she was playing. She took a deep breath and plunged in anyway. "I've fallen in love."

  Renata scoffed. "In one night? Please."

  "I really have."

  Phoebe ate her noodles in silence, not taking her eyes off her oldest sister. Juliette was fairly certain she wasn't buying the love at first sight bit, either.

  Gia, on the other hand, could hardly contain her excitement. She clapped her hands and bounced up and down in her seat. "I knew it! I knew you'd like him. He's so amazing, right?"

  "No. You didn't fall in love in one night," Renata stated matter-of-factly, laying her chopsticks down after dropping the same piece of chicken three times. She picked up her plastic fork instead. "Maybe you're attracted to this Taz guy, but you're not in love with him. Now tell us about your date."

  So she did. Juliette started with Sunday and the concert she'd attended.

  "I was there, too!" Gia exclaimed. "I wish I'd known. We could have sat together."

  She told them all the way up to Trevor bringing her home at the end of their night out together. Then she stopped to eat. The other three were finished and sat watching her, varying degrees of uncertainty on their faces. Finally, Renata spoke up.

  "You mean, he just started singing, out of the blue? Weren't you embarrassed?"

  "It wasn't just singing, Ren. He was...I don't know...communing with God! I didn't really think about being embarrassed."

  "But wasn't it awkward for you?" Renata looked rather skeptical about the whole thing.

  "No, no, no. It was very cool. I've never seen a guy be that transparent before. It's one thing to do it on stage, where you're supposed to put on a good show, but to do it like that? He's the real deal." Juliette took another bite of orange cashew chicken.

  "You rode on a motorcycle?" Phoebe finally spoke. She pushed her empty plate away and leaned forward across the table. "Okay. Fess up. What have you done with our Jules?" She held up a plastic fork, pointy end threatening Juliette.

  "I didn't just ride on a motorcycle, Phoebe darling. I rode on a Harley." Juliette said smugly. "Three times. It was amazing."

  Phoebe grinned lasciviously. "I bet it was."

  "So when are you going to see him again?" Renata asked, redirecting the discussion back to the white-washed zone.

  "I'm not."

  "You're not?"

  "What?"

  "I thought you loved him!"

  Juliette shook her head. "I never said I fell in love with Trevor. Or Taz. I haven't gotten to that part yet."

  Renata released a huff of breath and stood up. "This is ridiculous. Give it to us straight, Juliette. I have a husband and four boys waiting for me at home, and I don't have all night to play your little guessing games."

  Juliette finished her last bite and pushed her plate away. Just in time, too, as Renata plucked it off the table, along with everyone else's dishes, and carried them to the trashcan. She turned on the kettle for hot water and stood apart from them, leaning against a counter.

  Juliette took a sip of her ginger ale, and picked up her story where she'd left off. "Trevor wouldn't come in. It's one of his dating guidelines. He tries to avoid temptation, or even the appearance of it, like going into a single woman's house late at night."

  "Good for him," Renata said.

  "Hm," Phoebe murmured. Juliette couldn't tell whether it was a good murmur or a bad murmur.

  "So we sat on the front steps and shared a box of Mona's pastries." She didn't tell them about Officer Jarrett. "And we talked about God." She leaned forward, her voice soft. "It was as though Trevor turned on a light and shined it on a completely different picture of God, one I'd never seen before."

  No one said anything. They just stared at her as though she'd suddenly grown a third eye. "Stop looking at me like that."

  "Sorry," Gia apologized.

  "Go on," Phoebe prompted.

  Renata's silence carried far more meaning than any words she might utter.

  "I've been such a mess lately; because of Mike, yes, I admit. Not because I'm not getting over him, though, but because I was putting my hope in him and our future together. I was putting my hope in the wrong thing. So when we ended, well, my hope kinda ended, too. Like Granny G says, it was like I'd died already but just hadn't had the good grace to lie down somewhere." She smiled tenderly—their grandmother loved her colloquialisms—and continued. "Trevor introduced me to hope again, you guys. Hope in God. I—" She laced her fingers together to keep them from shaking, suddenly nervous about telling them. "I fell in love with Jesus."

  Phoebe sat back with shrouded eyes; Juliette recognized the look instantly. It was the same way she used to watch Sharon when her friend's words had been like nails on a chalkboard to her ears. Oh Phoebe.

  Gia had tears in her eyes as she listened with rapt attention to Juliette's story, but she didn't speak either.

  Renata pulled mugs from the cupboard and let them clink loudly on the counter top. Finally, she turned, and pointed an accusing finger at Juliette. "You tricked us. You led us to believe you'd fallen in love with Taz. Or Trevor. Or whatever his name is. You lied to us."

  Juliette was taken aback. It was remarkable the difference between the ecstatic response she got from Sharon, and the way Renata was reacting. It didn't even appear to register that Juliette was now officially a believer, something Renata had tried convincing them all to become for as long as anyone could remember.

  "No, Renata. I never lied. Maybe I manipulated the G-FOURce in my favor tonight, and for that, I'm sorry. But you're missing the point, the amazing, miraculous, wonderful point. I met Jesus on Monday night. Trevor showed me, Rennie! I thought you, of all people, would get it, would be thrilled." She pressed a palm over her heart. "I'm like you now."

  Renata smacked her hand on the counter. "You are nothing like me, Juliette," she stated between clenched teeth. "You have no clue what it means to live day in and day out as a Christian. You're still high on your come-to-Jesus emotions, and I can't tell what part of the night you liked best; the motorcycle rides, Trevor serenading you, meeting Jesus, or Mona's sticky buns. They were all amazing, according to you." Juliette cringed as her sister's words echoed Officer Jarrett's taunts in her mind.

  "Renata Gustafson!" Phoebe interjected, reaching over to cover one of Juliette's hands protectively. "Get a grip, sister!"

  "Dixon! My name is Renata Dixon; not Gustafson! Why do you people keep calling me that?"

  "You people? Do you mean us, your Gustafson sisters?" Phoebe was standing up now, too, palms flat on the table as she leaned forward. "Listen, Mrs. Dixon. I don't care what you want to call yourself, but you have always been, and will always be a Gustafson girl, got it? That's what binds us together; the fact that we're Gustafsons. It certainly isn't because we have anything else in common." She pointed a long, red-nailed finger at Renata. "And that's something you make sure none of us forget." She raised her hands in question. "What is wrong with you, Ren? Can't you just be happy for Juliette? So what if you don't like the way she went about telling us her news. Be glad she did tell us at all. I don't think I would have had the guts to face this firing squad."

  Phoebe turned to Juliette
. "Jules, I, for one, am happy for you. I don't understand it all, and I'm not really sure I want to, but you're absolutely radiant, and I haven't seen you like this in a very long time. Whatever it is that's got you all lit up, I support it. Burn, baby, burn." She sat down abruptly and gulped the last of her ginger ale. Her hands were trembling.

  Gia raised her own glass in silent support, and drank her soda until it was gone. Juliette followed suit.

  Renata fumed a while longer until the kettle whistled. She turned it off and filled the four mugs with hot water, then delivered one to each sister. She set a basket of assorted teabags in the middle of the table, along with the sugar bowl, the carton of organic whole milk that Juliette loved, and the honey bear. Then she sat down. They fixed their teas in silence.

  Juliette finally spoke. "We also need to talk about The Monday ManDates."

  There was no rebuttal.

  "I'm sorry, but I have hated them from the very beginning. For various reasons, I agreed to go along with the whole plan anyway. I've tried, you guys. I really have. Granted, I didn't give Thera-Paul much of a chance, but I made a valid effort with Frisky Frank, and I certainly invested in Trevor this week. I know you meant well, but I don't want to do it anymore. It's not me." She held up her hand, palm out. "I motion to cancel The Monday ManDates."

  There was a brief silence, then Gia raised her hand. "I second the motion. Oogie-boogie."

  Phoebe put her hand up. "Oogie-boogie."

  They all looked at Renata. Finally, she sighed heavily, and put her hand up, too. "Fine. Oogie-boogie. We can cancel The Monday ManDates."

  Juliette closed her eyes in relief. "Thank you," she whispered.

  "Now what?" Phoebe eyed Renata, an eyebrow raised in question.

  "Why are you looking at me?"

  Phoebe shrugged. "I thought maybe you might have a backup plan for getting Juliette married off."

  "That wasn't what the intervention was about," Renata snapped. "It was about getting her mind off that idiot ex of hers. Besides," she shot them all a smug look. "It worked, didn't it? She's not pining over Mike anymore."

  "Yes, it did work, Ren. So thank you." Juliette lifted her tea in a toast. "Here's to The Monday ManDates Intervention. May it go down in G-FOURce history as an unparalleled success."

  The other three joined her in raising their mugs. "Oogie-boogie!"

  "So," Gia spoke up. "You really aren't going to see Taz again? Because I think he's awesome, and I wish you guys could at least be friends."

  "We are friends, Gia. In fact, he called me his sister in Christ. Weird thought, isn't it? A brother. I wouldn't know the first thing to do with a brother." She wrinkled her nose. "And actually, I won't be seeing him again for quite a while. Neither will you or Ricky. He's going on some kind of a tour for the next several months."

  "Yeah, I know. Cool, huh? I just thought you two would hit it off, and he could leave his heart here with you. Wouldn't that be romantic?"

  Renata rolled her eyes, then asked pointedly. "So what's the deal? Is there someone else?"

  Juliette took a sip of tea as Officer Jarrett popped into her head. She tried desperately not to blush.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  “THERE IS!" PHOEBE SAT forward, setting her own mug aside. "Look at her! She's blushing!"

  "No, no! There's no one, really." Juliette shook her head, her eyes down.

  "You're keeping something from us, Jules. You're a rotten liar." Phoebe scrutinized her with narrowed eyes.

  Juliette pushed back her chair and stood up, gathering up the teabag wrappers and used napkins scattered around the table.

  "Oh, no you don't." Renata reached out and snatched the trash from her hands. "Sit down and give us the scoop. You know we'll find out about him soon enough."

  Juliette shook her head. "No, you won't. I doubt you even know him." Then she cringed as she realized what she'd just admitted.

  "Ha! I told you!" Phoebe leapt up and spun in a circle, her flowery skirt fluttering around her legs. Gia joined her, and the two of them waltzed around the kitchen together, hooting like children. Renata was grinning, too, and she didn't even roll her eyes at the other girls' antics. Juliette sighed and sank back into her seat in defeat.

  "Why do I even let you in my house?"

  "Because you love us so much," Phoebe and Gia swept around behind her. "Even Renata." Phoebe planted a kiss on the top of Juliette's head. "And we love you more. Now tell us all about him." She grabbed her chair, dragging it over until she was sitting elbow to elbow with Juliette, and Gia slid back into her own seat, her cheeks flushed from the romp.

  All three sisters stared at Juliette, expectant, determined.

  "Fine. But you're going to be disappointed," Juliette grumped. "I got pulled over several weeks ago." There was a round of confused glances. "I got a ticket."

  "Were you speeding?" Renata asked.

  "Yes. Ten miles over the limit."

  "And?"

  "Then about ten days later, I got pulled over again by the same officer. I made a total fool of myself, and he thought I was a freak, but Sharon talked him out of another ticket, and he let us go with a warning."

  "Were you speeding again? You didn't learn from your first ticket?"

  "I wasn't speeding, mother." Juliette gave Renata the evil eye over her mug, sipping her hot drink carefully. "I was pretending to drive blind."

  Phoebe started to snicker. Then Gia. Then Renata. Finally Juliette joined in too, laughing at her own expense.

  "I'm sorry, Jules, but only you would pretend to drive blind." Phoebe wiped her eyes, moist from her laughter.

  "So what does this have to do with your new man?" Renata asked when everyone had calmed down. "Wait!" She held up a hand. "The police officer?"

  "You fell in love with a cop because he pulled you over twice?" Phoebe elbowed her, but not hard enough to slosh the tea. "Desperate, Jules."

  "It's not like that." Somehow, the direction of the conversation was changing, and Juliette felt a little befuddled, not quite sure how to explain her connection to Officer Jarrett. "Someone called the police and sent him over to check on me. He's a friend of Trevor's and—"

  "He's been here? Juliette! You have an officer hot on your tail!" Renata laughed at her own joke. No one else did.

  Juliette filled them in on the rest of her encounters with Victor Jarrett, and by the end of her story, they were all a little subdued.

  "Something must have happened. Guys aren't fickle like we women are. They don't go from being sweet and gentle to mean and rude without a reason." Phoebe shook her head in consternation. "Are you sure you weren't just reading too much into his behavior the other night?"

  "No. Even Trevor said it wasn't like him at all. I don't know why it upset me, anyway." Juliette shrugged. "He's not my type at all."

  "What do you mean, not your type?" Renata snorted. "I don't think you even know what your type is."

  "Well, I knew Frisky Frank wasn't my type. Or Thera-Paul. Besides, I really mean he can't be my type. I can't be interested in a police officer."

  "Why not?"

  "Because his whole life is too unpredictable. I couldn't stand the uncertainty and danger." Juliette straightened in her chair. "So see? It's all worked out for the best. I don't want a police officer anyway."

  "Or a Frank. Or a Paul. Or a Trevor." Renata frowned. "Maybe you should start thinking about what you do want, instead of always ruling out what you don't want."

  "Let's make a new list!" The suggestion came from Gia, and the other three turned to look at her. "What?" she asked.

  "Good idea, Georgia." Renata nodded. "It might benefit all three of you."

  "All four of us, lest you get lax in your expectations, and John slacks off," Phoebe teased.

  "Not possible," Renata shook her head. "He's perfect in every way."

  Now it was Phoebe's turn to roll her eyes. "Oh my. Let's make a list of Mr. Perfect's attributes. Go, Ren."

  "Wait!" Gia exclaimed. "What should w
e call this one?"

  Juliette sighed and covered her face with her hands.

  "We'll call it The Champion List." Renata tore a page out of her agenda and handed it to Juliette, along with a pen. "Here, Juliette. You write. We're going to find you a new man, yet."

  "But I don't need a new man right now!" she wailed.

  They decided to make the list anyway. "You'll be ready someday," Renata stated. She started it off with words like loyal, faithful, and committed. Phoebe winked at Juliette and added hot, impulsive, and daring. Gia's first word made them all stop and listen as she explained her contribution.

  "Patience is really important to me. I don't want a guy who will push me into things I'm not ready for just because he thinks he's ready. I want my relationship to grow at a pace that lets me learn to really appreciate it. Love needs time to take root and grow strong before it blossoms, right?" When no one responded she tried to further clarify.

  "You know Granny G's giant sunflowers? Sometimes one will get planted too close to another one, and it ends up too tall and skinny to support the weight of the flower head at the top. Then it falls over and can't survive. I don't want to be in a relationship like that where all the glory is in the flower, only to have it fall on its face because we didn't put our energy into the roots and stalk first."

  Much to Gia's delight, her word had been moved to the top of list. She also added brave and gentle, along with funny and kind.

  Although the reason for The Champion List was still a little ambiguous to Juliette, it didn't come with the same pressures of the Monday ManDates, so she stopped arguing and start contributing. She had a few things she would add to it in private; traits her sisters might dismiss, but traits she decided she wouldn't do without in a man. Believes in God was going at the very top.

  That night as Juliette lay in bed perusing the new list, she admitted that the character qualities were wonderful, but she seriously doubted there existed such a man. No one could be that perfect. Okay. Maybe Trevor Zander was. But if Trevor had the market on perfection, then perfection apparently wasn't what she was looking for. And really, the thought of being with someone so flawless intimidated her.