by Jessie Cooke
“Okay, yes. That might help.” Lion gave him the name of the dialysis clinic and then said:
“Is he okay?”
“He will be, for a while anyway. He has obviously missed more than one treatment. He has been vomiting a lot so he has varices in his throat that were bleeding. His body was filling up with fluid, but the vomiting pulled a lot off. His potassium was dangerously high, causing his heart to slow down, and the toxins building up in his body were building up in his brain and that was probably why he passed out. He’s woken up a few times but he’s disoriented and confused…and combative. We had to restrain him.” Lion chuckled and when the doctor gave him a strange look he said:
“I would have worried more if you had told me he was docile.”
The doctor smiled but it looked uncomfortable on his face, then he went on. “We have him dialyzing now. Once the fluid and toxins are pulled off, he should start recovering quickly. I’ll see about tracking down some medical records. I’ll need you to sign for them.” Lion nodded and hoped there was nothing on Hawk’s medical records in Boston that said he didn’t have kids.
“Doctor…how long can he live like this, on dialysis?”
The doctor shook his head and said, “That varies so much from person to person depending on health history, lifestyle…kidney function. It appears Mr. Benning’s only kidney is not functioning at all, and from the looks of it, it hasn’t been for a while. Average life expectancy with someone in ‘great’ health could be twenty years, but the average under these circumstances is five to ten. Keep in mind those numbers are for someone who takes good care of themselves and doesn’t have any other medical issues to begin with.”
That didn’t bode well for the hard-drinking, heavy-smoking Hawk, Lion was sure. “Thank you, Doctor. Just let me know whatever you need from me.”
“I will have the nurse bring you a release when I get ahold of Boston for the records. After that I’d suggest you try and go get some rest. He won’t be up for visitors for a while.”
Lion nodded, but he wasn’t leaving, at least until Madison got there. If she wanted him to go, he would, but no matter how bad his relationship had been with Hawk over the past two decades, he couldn’t just walk away and chance the old man’s dying alone.
“Lion!” He looked toward the sound of Madison’s voice. She was coming in through the sliding door of the waiting room, rolling a small suitcase behind her.
“Hey, you should have called. I would have picked you up.”
She waved her palm. “A taxi was just as easy. Have you seen him? What’s going on? Is he okay?” Her whole body was shaking and since it was ninety degrees in the shade in Texas that day and not much cooler inside, he didn’t think she was cold.
“Let’s sit down,” he said, taking the suitcase out of her hand. She walked to one of the chairs in back next to the coffee machine and sat down. Lion sat next to her and proceeded to tell her what had happened. He started with Hawk’s passing out in the motel and then moved on to what the doctor told her. Her eyes were swimming with tears when he finished and she said:
“I knew it. I knew in my heart that he was sick and he’d try to cover it up and not tell anyone. I should have stayed.”
“Madison, you know how fucking stubborn he is. Staying would have only driven you crazy. He still wouldn’t have admitted anything. Maybe this was for the best. Now he can’t deny it.” Madison nodded, slowly.
“That’s true. What was he doing here…and you? Why were you two together?”
“We were on our way to help one of our ally clubs with some business. The club is out of Medina. We were meeting them in Bandera. All I know is Dax asked me to go, and asked if Hawk could go with me.”
“So Dax sent him on a job, having no idea the sneaky old grump was sick. My stubborn old man had to know that missing his dialysis appointments would make him sick. I swear, sometimes I think he’s fucking invincible.” Lion didn’t tell Madison, but he hoped so. It was what he’d thought about the old man most of his life…Hawk was going to live forever. He was sure lately that if he found out that wasn’t true, he’d be relieved. Instead it felt like a weight had been laid across his chest.
“Well, the good news is that the doctor said as long as he goes back to his regular treatments, he should be back to ‘normal’ in no time.” Whatever “normal” was for Hawk. “They’re supposed to be out with a release to sign for his medical records in Boston. Don’t be mad but I told them he was my father. It was the only way they would tell me anything.” Madison nodded, but Lion suddenly saw something change in her big, brown doe eyes. He chuckled and said, “No, Madison, there is no chance he is. I asked him that, a long time ago. He claims he and my mother never had sex. My father is dead…yours is too mean to die…so we didn’t commit any egregious sins.”
“Those books all over your room…you read them all, didn’t you?”
He cocked an eyebrow. “Most of them, why?”
“Because for a guy who doesn’t like to talk, and spends so much time alone, you’ve got an amazing vocabulary.”
“Fuck yeah,” he said, with a grin.
“Why don’t you go back to the motel and get some rest? I’ll call if anything changes.”
Lion nodded again. Part of him didn’t want to leave her…but the other part was warning him not to get close again. She wasn’t staying. Even if she flew back to Boston for a while to take care of Hawk, she wasn’t staying. His heart was at its limit for being left, so he’d had to learn how to do the leaving.
16
Boston, MA. Four Weeks Later
“You don’t have to sit here for four hours. I been doing this by myself for a long time now,” Hawk groused at his daughter as he sat down in his recliner in the dialysis clinic. Madison unloaded the bags she had in her arms…his “dialysis” bag, she called it. She’d packed it with snacks, lunch, waters, something for him to read, and a pillow and blanket. Hawk just shook his head at her every time, but once they were there, he didn’t hesitate to dig through it.
“I’ve got nothing else to do. I like being here with you. And besides, from what I saw in your medical record, you haven’t been doing a very good job at this. You missed at least one of your three weekly treatments six weeks in a row. You’re not compliant with your meds and sometimes your labs. I’m not sure if you’re suicidal or if you don’t realize how important this is.”
He rolled his eyes. “I love you, girl, but you’ve turned into quite the little nag. You need to get you an old man so you can refocus that shit.”
Madison smiled. “I started looking for a donor. There are all sorts of websites…”
“No.”
“What do you mean, ‘no’?”
“For one thing, they’ve already told me I’m not a candidate, at my age and in my condition…”
“You’re not a candidate to be put on the registry. But, if you have a private donor, there’s nothing they can do.”
“It’s expensive.”
“Dax already said the club will pay any expenses your insurance doesn’t cover.”
Hawk chuckled and said, “I don’t know why I’m arguing with you. Bottom line is nobody likes me well enough to give up a body part for me, and you can’t…so, I’m thinking there’s not much to worry about.”
“Mom and Art were both already tested,” she said, making a face. “Neither of them were a match.”
“Good. I don’t want your mother and you both walking around with one kidney, and Art’s already in line for fucking sainthood.” Madison laughed. She knew Hawk didn’t have anything against her stepfather. They were very different people, but the common thread they shared was that they both loved the same two women, her and her mother. They survived on mutual respect, and Madison believed they appreciated each other even more than Art “the saint” was willing to admit. “I don’t want no stranger off the Internet giving me no kidney either. It’d be weird, walking around carrying someone’s spare body parts.”
&nbs
p; “I’ve been carrying yours for over thirty years.”
“That’s different, you’re my kid.”
“I’m going to ask Lion to get tested.”
Hawk snorted out a laugh. “Yeah, baby girl, you do that. That boy wouldn’t give me half his peanut butter sandwich. No fucking way is he getting cut open for me.”
“He saved your life in Texas, Dad.” Hawk grumbled something about not seeing him since, but before Madison could reply, the nurse was there to hook him up to the machine. Madison excused herself while the nurse was doing that, went out into the hallway, and dialed Lion’s number. He had given it to her before she and Hawk left Texas in the van that Dax sent out to pick them up, and then he’d gone on to Bandera to see if he could still be of help to the Headhunters. Madison heard he was back about two weeks prior, but she hadn’t seen hide nor hair of him. They’d come close, once, to making love again, in the motel in Texas, but Lion had been the one to pull away. They hadn’t talked about it. He’d just gone back to his own room and kept his distance until she and Hawk left. He was making it obvious that he didn’t want anything more to happen between them, and Madison had resolved not to try to push herself on him. But…she wasn’t going to leave any stone unturned when it came to getting a kidney for her father. Dax had let her put up a sign in Spirits and at the club…but she was still sure her best bet was finding someone who either didn’t know Hawk, or liked him. Something about positive karma, maybe. Lion denied he liked him, but the more Madison had seen of him around her father, the more she thought he protested too much.
“Hey,” he said when he picked up the call.
“Hey. How are you?”
“I’m good. How’s the old man?”
“Still kicking,” she said.
“Hmm, I guess that’s good.”
Madison laughed. “Yes, it is. I want him around if I ever decide to get married or have kids. I think he’ll be one hell of a grandfather.”
“Hmm,” Lion said again. Stifling another laugh Madison said:
“Which leads me to why I called. I have a question for you.”
“You want me to father Hawk’s grandkids?”
Madison laughed so hard she almost spit the juice she was drinking out of her nose. “Oh my God…no…” Actually, if she was telling the truth, she had thought about it. But she wasn’t about to tell him that. He was chuckling when she said, “I was wondering if you’d get tested…to see if maybe you were a match to donate one of your kidneys….”
“Why the hell would I want to give that old man a part of me?”
“Old time’s sake, maybe. Maybe because of the love he felt for your mother. Maybe because you’re just a decent human being.”
Lion growled but said, “Fine. Tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”
“Yay! I could kiss you. Thanks!”
“I knew it. You’re just trying to get in my pants.”
She laughed but didn’t acknowledge it. She gave him the information on where to get tested and went back to sit with Hawk. He was even grumpier when he was hooked up to the machine and grounded for four hours…but she was thankful he was alive and they had more time, so she ignored it.
If anyone had told Lion he’d be getting his blood drawn in hopes of saving Hawk’s life someday, he would have told them they were crazy. Yet here he was, sleeve rolled up and tourniquet on his arm, watching the scarlet blood leave his body and fill a tube.
“That’s it,” the little blue-haired phlebotomist said, pulling out the needle and popping the tourniquet loose. Lion held the cotton ball in place while she put a band-aid over it.
“So how long until they know if I’m a match?”
“The blood typing is quick, and if that matches there will be a few more tests that take a bit more time. A few days to a week at most. The doctor will give you a call when the results are in.”
Lion nodded. “Okay, thanks.”
“Thank you. Giving part of yourself to someone else…there’s no greater gift,” she said. Lion didn’t respond to that. He was torn between wondering if Hawk deserved it, and this driving need he had to make sure Madison got what she wanted.
After leaving the hospital he drove to the ranch. Dax had money for him for the Texas trip. He didn’t need it, his expenses were really low…but part of him was hoping to run into Madison. It had been about six hours since they spoke, and he was sure she and Hawk had probably made it back by now. He hoped the old man was worn out from his treatment and asleep; he didn’t want to have to talk to him about looking to be his donor.
He parked his bike at the end of the row of bikes out front, said hello to Chain Dog, one of the bikers that had been around since Dax took over the club, and he went inside. The great room was busy with kids and old ladies, and the typical old arthritic crew sitting around having their afternoon beer and telling wild, mostly untrue stories. Lion sat down at the bar.
“Hey there.” Amy, one of the club girls, was tending bar. Lion had slept with her…once, a while back. She was one of the ones who took the one-night stand with a grain of salt and they’d been friendly ever since.
“Hi, Amy, how’s it going?”
She looked over toward the group of old bikers and smiled. “You know…learning all about the old days from the gray-haired gangsters mostly.”
Lion laughed. “Is Dax around?”
“He was here earlier. I think he went back up to the house. You want me to call him?”
“Nah, it’s not important. How about a beer?”
“You got it.”
“Well, look what the cat dragged in.” Luger sat down on one side of him, and his halfwit best friend Walt on the other. Luger wasn’t afraid of Lion as long as they were at the ranch. Dax had hard and fast rules about fighting in the great room, especially when the kids and women were around.
Lion ignored him and Amy gave Luger a dirty look when she set Lion’s beer down. “There you go. Let me know if you need anything else.” Before Lion could thank her, Luger dropped his hand to his lap and with a disgusting leer on his face he said:
“I have a need I think you can take care of, baby.” Amy made a face at him and then slowly lifted her right hand and gave him the finger. Luger laughed and said, “Yeah, that’s right baby…fuck you too…” Lion slammed his fist down on the bar.
“Back the fuck off her, Luger.”
Luger laughed. “Fuck you, Jungle Boy, this is between me and the lady.”
Amy rolled her eyes at Luger, put her hand on Lion’s, and said, “He’s not worth it, baby.” She walked away to the sound of Luger’s laughter. Walt was chuckling, nervously, on the other side of Lion. They were like a couple of fucking cartoon characters.
“Why don’t you two go find some light bugs to pull the wings off of and leave the humans be?”
Luger chuckled again. “Human? You live in a fucking jungle hut with…” He stopped talking, abruptly. The hair on the back of Lion’s neck rose. Luger had never been to his house, not as far as he knew anyways.
Lion turned to face him and in a low tone, almost a growl ,he said, “With what?”
“Fuck if I know,” Luger said. Lion saw him glance over toward Walt. If he was right, it was a warning look that Luger was throwing him.
“Keep it that way, asshole. Now, I’m going to ask you nicely one more time to get the fuck out of my face. I’ll face whatever consequences there are for beating your ass right here and now.”
Luger looked at Walt and tossed his head toward the door. Lion was surprised that he gave in so easily, but as they walked toward the door the back of his neck was still tingling. Luger knew something about Lion’s place and he was going to find out what it was. He was still looking at the door when Madison walked in. The switch between the disgust he felt in his stomach to the rush of adrenaline upon seeing her almost made him dizzy. She was wearing a sundress…it was yellow and against her tanned skin, which she probably got in all that Arizona sun, and her dark hair and eyes, it made
her glow. She smiled when she saw him and before he could even catch himself, he was smiling back. He’d been using those muscles in his face a lot more lately and he didn’t know if it was a good thing, or not.
“Hey,” she said, walking toward him. “Long time no see.”
“Buy you a beer?”
Amy was there again, magically appearing when anyone seemed to need anything. “How about iced tea? I can get it.”
“No, doll, you sit. I’m on the clock today.” Amy went in the back and Madison sat on the stool next to Lion. He couldn’t help but watch as she tucked the skirt of her dress around her tanned, toned legs. Damn, his palms were itching to touch them.
“So what brings you out here to grace us with your presence?” Madison asked.
“Picking up my payment from Dax,” he said. “How did the dialysis go today?”
She chuckled. “He was mean and grumpy and I’m sure the nurses all hate him.”
Lion smiled. “Sounds about right. I went to the hospital after we talked.”
Madison’s pretty face lit up. “Thank you. I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate that.” She looked over at the poster she’d hung behind the bar asking for donors and said, “It surprises me how many of these big, tough bikers are afraid of a little blood draw.” Lion was sure it was more about their disdain for Hawk than it was the needle, but he didn’t tell her that. Something about what she said, though, rang some kind of bell he couldn’t put his finger on. It was the “big, tough bikers.” “What?” she asked. “You have a weird look on your face.”
He shook his head. “Nothing. I hope for your sake y’all find a donor soon.” He drained his beer and said, “I should get on home.”
Amy had just brought Madison’s tea. She frowned and said, “I thought you invited me for a drink.”
