by Jessie Cooke
“Okay, I’ll clean up and pack now and be ready in an hour or so. You sending the old man out or should I meet him at the ranch.”
“Nah, I’ll send him to you. Thanks, Lion. Call me if you have any problems.”
“Yep.” Lion ended the call and started getting ready. His stomach hurt and he didn’t know if it was the idea of a week with Hawk, or that he was suddenly reminded of Madison. He ached for her some days, and other days he was able to stay busy and keep his mind off her. Of course, some days his “busy” was making sketches of her; his desk was littered with them now. She was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever touched and he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to get her out of his head. He felt like he did the right thing by letting her go, though. She wasn’t going to be happy living the way he did…and he didn’t know any other way, so eventually she would have left him anyways.
He showered, packed a small bag, and fixed himself a sandwich. He was finishing that when he heard Hawk driving toward the house. Cursing a few more times, he grabbed his things, locked the door, and headed out to his bike. He already had his bag tied down and was sitting on the back of it when Hawk drove up next to him. Lion pulled his hair up and twisted it into a knot and pulled on his skullcap while Hawk watched. “I should try that,” the older man said. “That man-bun thing. It makes you look real pretty.”
Lion raised his middle finger and started up his bike. As he slapped his half-shell helmet on his head he said, “Don’t fuck with me, old man. Here’s the deal, I lead, you follow. I say when we stop and when we go. If I lose you…I lose you. Got it?”
Hawk grinned and saluted him. Lion flipped him off again, pulled up the kickstand and put the bike in gear. He didn’t look back at Hawk again. He would drive twelve hours a day and he wasn’t kidding…if the old man couldn’t keep up it was too fucking bad.
“Opunta…what?” Beck was looking over Madison’s shoulder at the catalog she was ordering seeds out of. Jace and Beck had asked her to help them landscape around the front of their new club and Madison was excited to do it. She was back working at the museum where she’d been working before she’d gone out to Boston to the ranch and she was happy there too, but she didn’t like to have too much down time. Landscaping for Jace and Beck would keep her mind occupied…and off both Hawk and Lion, she hoped.
“Opuntia violacea Santa Rita,” she repeated.
“In English?”
Madison laughed again. “It’s the same. They’re beautiful. I was trying to find a picture to show you. The cacti have this purple hue and it’s just gorgeous, especially when they flower.”
“If you like them, that’s good enough, I trust your judgment.” Beck straightened up and put her hand on her lower back. “This damned kid.” Madison smiled. Beck was two weeks past her due date and she was supposed to be on bed rest. But anyone who had ever met the spirited old lady of the president of the Phoenix Skulls knew that keeping her down required no less than leather straps and cement blocks. Madison had come to meet with her at her home, but since she’d been there, Beck had been on her feet.
“How much longer are they going to let you go? Don’t they induce labor when it goes on too long?”
“Yeah, supposedly,” Beck said, curling her lip. “I wanted them to do it last week, but he said one more week. I have an appointment tomorrow and I’m not coming home without a kid.”
Madison laughed again. When she first met Beck, the beautiful, sarcastic, tough woman scared her to death. But she had quickly grown on her and once you got past the fact that what came out of Beck’s mouth was twice as crude as any shit the other bikers talked, she was pretty cool. “Is Jace getting excited?”
“Girl, he has been like a kid counting the days until Christmas since I got pregnant. Of course, that could be in part because I have been a little…oh hell, I’ll just say it…I’ve been a bitch.”
“Hard to imagine,” Madison said.
Beck laughed. “She’s coming around—I like it. You want some coffee or something?”
“Sure, if it’s no trouble.”
“Anything that keeps me busy for a few minutes is…oh shit…” Madison heard the little splash and she and Beck were both looking down at the little puddle between Beck’s legs. “Well, I guess he heard me. Would you mind hollering at Jace?”
Madison’s heart was racing. She couldn’t imagine being as calm as Beck was. She threw open the screen door and saw Jace and Finn, his VP, standing across the way in front of the shop. “Jace!” She had to yell his name a few times as she jogged toward them. When he finally turned around, she saw his dark eyes brighten, and a smile covered his face. Madison smiled back and nodded. “Her water broke.”
“Hot damn! Finn, get the van!” He rushed past Madison almost shaking with excitement. Finn looked almost just as excited as he ran inside the shop for the van keys. Madison was excited for them, but she was also a little envious. She thought she’d put the idea of having a baby out of her head…but being around Beck, who was Madison’s age, made her suddenly feel that biological clock again, loud and clear.
She went back over to the house and helped gather Beck’s bag she’d packed and put it in the van once Finn brought it over. Once that was done, Jace helped his old lady into the van and he jumped into the driver side; still grinning from ear to ear he said, “Wish us luck!” Finn and Madison both wished them luck…and judging by the cloud of dust Jace raised on his way out of the driveway, they might just need it.
Lion pushed Hawk hard that first day, and after only three stops for gas and bathroom breaks along the way, they arrived in Columbus, Ohio at 5 p.m. Lion pulled off the highway and parked in front of an inexpensive motel. Hawk pulled his bike up next to him and took off his helmet. For the first time since that morning, Lion really looked at him. He looked ten years older than his sixty-five years with deep, dark gray circles underneath his eyes and a deep line between them. Lion felt guilty as he watched Hawk climb off his bike. He could tell the old man was hurting and as much as he wanted to believe he deserved whatever hell he was in, he couldn’t help but feel bad for him.
“You hungry?” Lion asked him. Hawk looked surprised. Those were the first words that Lion had spoken to him all day.
“Starving.”
“Me too. I’ll check us in and meet you at that little restaurant there next door.”
Hawk nodded. “Thanks, kid.”
Lion ignored that. He hated when he called him “kid” or even by his given name, “Ridge.” It made it seem like they were friends…or something. Hawk had given him plenty of reasons to not want anyone to mistake them for friends. He went into the motel and got them two rooms for the night and then walked over to the restaurant. He found Hawk already in a booth, sipping his coffee and looking at a menu. Neither man spoke until Lion ordered soda and the waitress had come back with them and taken their food orders. It was then that Lion asked, “So why did you need to come on this job?”
“I don’t know,” Hawk said. “I’m taking orders the same as you, kid.”
“Don’t call me kid. I got the impression that you requested this job.”
Hawk chuckled. “Request to spend a week with you? I don’t think so. You’re a surly bastard. I have no idea what my beautiful daughter saw in you.”
“From one surly bastard to the other, let’s leave Madison out of it.”
“Gladly.” The waitress set their plates down and as soon as she was gone Lion said:
“How is she?”
Hawk chuckled again. “Leaving her out of it, are we?”
“Simple fucking question, old man…and what the fuck is that on your plate?”
Hawk looked down at his plate. There was a steak and brown rice and a sliced avocado. “Looks good to me.”
“Since when do you eat green stuff?” Hawk was a comfort food freak. Lion remembered his Me Maw making him biscuits and gravy, country fried steaks and mashed potatoes, fried chicken…anything deep fried, full of fat and calori
es, and nothing green.
“I’m no spring chicken anymore,” he said. “Have to take care of all this sexy somehow.”
Lion laughed so hard at that, he almost spat his soda out his nose. When he stopped laughing he said, “So…how is she?”
Hawk put a bite of steak in his mouth and made Lion wait until he finished chewing and swallowing it before he said, “She’s happy.”
Lion was sure that he was supposed to be happy about that, but it only made him feel worse. He didn’t want her to be unhappy…but he couldn’t help thinking about the way the other guys that had ridden from Phoenix to Boston with them looked at her. There was one in particular who had flirted with her on the way out…his name was Gaston and they called him that supposedly because he was so good-looking and the “ladies” loved him. Lion didn’t see it, but Madison probably did. He almost couldn’t stand the thought of another man touching her…but he had to remind himself that she wasn’t his, and there wasn’t a damned thing he could do about it.
“Good,” he said out loud to Hawk. They both ate their meals and neither spoke again until Lion finished with his and stood up. He tossed Hawk’s room key onto the table along with some cash to pay for his meal and said, “We leave at 5 a.m., old man, don’t be late.” Hawk raised his middle finger and kept eating without looking up. Lion tried hard not to smile as he walked away.
15
Two Days Later
“She’s beautiful,” Madison said, as she looked down at the baby in her arms. She was sitting in the Phoenix Skulls’ new clubhouse, where a party was going on to welcome Beck and the baby home from the hospital. The baby had white hair that was as soft and downy as a chick, and Beck’s beautiful blue eyes. Madison’s hormones had been going crazy just looking at her; now that she was actually holding her, she could almost feel her ovaries physically ache. She’d worked so hard to convince herself that she didn’t want kids, but now that she was looking at a brand new one, she could almost hear that biological clock firing back up again.
“She really is, isn’t she?” Beck was sitting across from her. She hadn’t stopped smiling or looking at her baby in the two hours they’d been home. Jace was just as cute, running around trying to play host while at the same time keeping one eye on his old lady and the other on his new daughter. The baby was a lucky girl; she’d be deeply loved and, Madison had no doubt, well taken care of.
“Yes, she really is. What’s her name?”
“Jaycee.”
“That’s adorable.”
“I know, right? Jace about busted wide open when I told him that’s what I wanted to name her.”
“Can I hold my niece?” Jace’s sister Rosie was standing behind Madison. Beck looked up at her and smiled.
“Of course you can. Come over and sit down next to Madison.”
Rosie had Asperger’s syndrome. She was a grown woman with an extremely high IQ, but the Asperger’s caused her to have underdeveloped social skills, and she also suffered from obsessive-compulsive disorder. She lived in a group home in New Mexico. Beck told Madison that once they finished the club, Jace had tried to talk her into coming to live there. He’d built a special room downstairs with its own bathroom and a little reading nook like the one Rosie had at her home in New Mexico, in the hopes that she’d want to live there. Rosie’s response had been “I’ll visit more often, and then we can talk about it.” Jace didn’t force her to move. Routine was very important to her according to Beck, but Madison could see just from the few interactions she’d witnessed between her and Jace that she loved her brother dearly…and Beck too.
Once Rosie was seated, Madison got up and placed the baby in the girl’s arms. Rosie smiled down at the baby. She wasn’t a pretty girl, but when she smiled like that, Madison thought she was beautiful. “She knows me,” Rosie said. Beck smiled and said:
“Of course she does, she’s your niece.”
“What’s her name again?”
“Jaycee.”
“Jace See. I like it.”
Madison smiled and left the two women alone with the baby. She went over to the buffet table and began fixing herself a plate of finger foods when she felt someone behind her. She turned to see Gaston, one of the bikers who had gone on the long trip to take her home to Boston a few months before. He was a prospect then, but from the looks of the patch on his vest, he’d since become a full-fledged brother. “Hey, Madison.”
“Well hey, Gaston. How are you?”
“I’m great. I heard you were back. I’ve been out in California helping the Westside guys on an expansion they’re making on their gym. I just got back this afternoon.”
“Well, it’s good to see you.”
“It’s good to see you too, welcome back. Are you sticking around this time?”
“Yeah, I think I am.”
“Good, maybe we can hang out sometime.” Madison opened her mouth, to say no. But then she reminded herself that Lion didn’t want her and there was no reason for her to try to “save” herself for a relationship that was never going to happen. Gaston was quite a bit younger than her, but he was cute and from what she knew of him he seemed like a nice guy…so what the hell?
“Sure, I’d like that.” His smile grew bigger and he grabbed a plate of his own and followed her over to where she sat down to eat hers. His eagerness put her off just a bit…or maybe it wasn’t his eagerness at all. Maybe it was because no matter how much she told herself she couldn’t have the Beast in Boston, she couldn’t make herself believe it.
“Jesus Christ.” Lion had been trying to sleep when he heard a crash in the room next to him, Hawk’s room. He beat on the wall and when Hawk didn’t respond, he pulled on his jeans and ran over. It took him beating on the door several times before Hawk finally pulled it open. Lion had seen him just a few hours before when they stopped for dinner, and the night…but he was almost unrecognizable now. His skin was as gray as the strands that ran through his dark hair, the whites of his eyes looked gray as well, and he was puffy. His face and his hands looked like he’d put on weight in the past few hours. His upper lip had a cut on it and it was bleeding. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Me? I was minding my own business…”
“I heard a big crash. Did you fall?”
“Go back to your own room, Lion. I need to sleep.” Hawk tried to close the door but Lion pushed against it. Hawk teetered backwards and almost fell down. Lion pressed him further back into the room with his body and said:
“Lie down on that bed, old man, before you fall over, and tell me what the hell is going on. I’m riding with you. You’re my fucking backup. If there’s some reason you won’t be able to do your job, I deserve to know why.” Hawk started to say something else. He was going to try and argue further, but Lion watched the color drain out of his face. He gripped his stomach with both hands and doubled forward slightly. “Jesus,” Lion said, again. He put a hand on Hawk’s arm, only then realizing how thin the old man had gotten. He’d been wearing long sleeves every time Lion saw him lately, and obviously they’d done their job hiding how much muscle Hawk had really lost. Lion steered him over to the bed and when they were there he nudged him down onto it. Hawk started to fall forward and Lion lifted his legs and laid him back on the bed. Pulling a chair up next to it he said, “Now. Tell me what I’m dealing with here?” Hawk had his eyes closed and his body was trembling all over. He gripped his stomach again and groaned. Now that he was lying down, Lion could see that his stomach was swollen. Hawk didn’t have a belly…something was very wrong. “I’m calling an ambulance.” When Hawk didn’t argue with him, Lion knew he was right, and this was serious. He picked up the phone at the bedside and dialed 911. As he spoke to the dispatcher he watched Hawk struggle for breath and he had to admit to himself that he wasn’t ready for the old man to die.
It was ten hours later and Lion was still sitting in the hospital waiting room. He had called Jace and told him Madison needed to get to Dallas…now. He didn’t want to
talk to her on the phone, but he knew Jace would make sure she got there.
“For Mr. Benning?” Lion stood up when he saw the man come through the waiting room door. He was an older man with snow-white hair and tired lines around his eyes. He had on a pair of green hospital scrubs and wore a stethoscope around his neck.
“Me,” Lion said.
“And you are?”
“L—Ridge. Ridge…Benning. I’m his son.” Lion was sure they wouldn’t give him any information if he didn’t pretend to be a relative. Hawk had gone unconscious, or slipped into a coma or something, before the ambulance got there. Lion was going crazy trying to Google dialysis and kidneys and figure out what was going on with him. He didn’t want to wait until Madison was there before anyone would talk to him. The man held out his hand and said:
“I’m Dr. Spencer. How long has your father been on dialysis?”
Lion sighed and ran a hand through his beard. He had no fucking clue. He knew Madison didn’t know and when he called Dax to tell him what was going on, Dax seemed to be in the dark about Hawk’s medical condition as well. “I’m not sure,” Lion said. “The truth is, Doc, he’s been hiding this from everyone. We suspected he was sick, but when we tried to find out what was going on, he wouldn’t tell us.”
The doctor’s white eyebrows went up. “Do you know when he lost his first kidney and why?”
“He donated it to his daughter…over thirty years ago.”
The doctor nodded. “Is Mr. Benning from Dallas?”
“No, Boston. I can tell you the name of the clinic where he was getting dialysis.” Those eyebrows went up again. Lion pushed his hair out of his face and said, “I followed him one day. He said he was…visiting, a friend, but I’m guessing now that wasn’t true.”
