Seven Lovely Sins (The Northumberland Nine Book 7)

by Dayna Quince

  “I stand corrected, you want to marry today secretly.”

  He’d been thinking a lot about this, planning how he would protect her from any and all repercussions, including Judge Blackwood. There was no telling how he might try to use Nic to get to Theo or make trouble in her life.

  “I still have to leave,” he said.

  And thus, he began the breaking of her heart.

  “Judge Blackwood will come after me any way he can. He’s a righteous arse, who uses religion and whatever doctrine or obscure law he can take out of context to justify his deeply rooted hate for privileged people like me who can get away with most anything. But if Kirby dies and it’s known that it’s my third duel, privilege of peer won’t protect me. He can persecute me for murder, and he will hang me. I have to leave England until I can figure out a way to stop him.” Theo laughed half-heartedly. “He’s old. I’m rather hoping he dies soon.”

  Nic scoffed. “Why does our marriage have to be a secret? Why can’t I go with you?”

  “Because I care about you too much. I don’t want you to have to leave your home, your family, everything you know, just to follow a blackguard like me. I don’t even know where I’m going. I don’t have a place to live as of yet. You’ll be better off here and safer. If our marriage is a secret at least until I’m gone, then Judge Blackwood won’t try to use you to get to me. I will write to you when I can, but I won’t be able to tell you where I’m at until I end this business with Judge Blackwood.”

  “You’re not making any sense,” Nic said.

  Theo swallowed. “I want to marry you. I am in love with you, Nic. That’s all the good sense I’ve got. Those two things are the most precious and important. Everything else in my life is a mess. I don’t want you to be part of it, so please, just understand that this is the way it’s got to be. I need to keep you safe. I need to provide for you with my name, with my small fortune, but I also have to leave you here, and I know neither of us are going to like it.”

  Tears gathered in her eyes and rolled down her cheek.

  His heart felt cold and heavy. “Please tell me you understand.”

  “I understand,” she said weakly.

  “You believe that I love you?”

  She nodded.

  He cradled her face, lightly kissing her lips. “I love you. Leaving you will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I nearly killed a man. I’ve destroyed my relationship with my brother and have to try to rebuild it again, but leaving you will be my biggest regret, and I mean to make up for it. I have no intention of staying away from you, from the life we may have created last night. To think that I could have a future with you, marriage, children, a home of our own. Well that sounds like heaven to me and I want that.”

  “I want that too,” she said, fresh tears spilling down her cheeks. “Please don’t leave me.”

  “I have to leave you to be the man that you deserve. I have to leave.” Theo didn’t know if that was true deep down, but he didn’t know what else to do. He wanted to stay, but most of the things he wanted were wrong. He’d spent his life indulging most, if not all, his desires and look where it had led him. He’d avoided pain and responsibility as much as possible.

  But he was learning the right things, the good things, were often terrible, but in the end worth so much more than swiftly passing and easy-to-come by pleasures. Leaving Nic was terrible, but he must leave. That was the simple conclusion he made at least for a time, to make things right with his brother, to thwart judge Blackwood, until something could be done. He had to leave and he had to do it alone.

  He couldn’t even take Callen with him. If he had to leave Nic behind, he needed Callen to stay with her, to protect her.

  “Marry me, Nicolette. I know it doesn’t seem like something you ought to do right now, but I will make it up to you. One day we will be together again. Can you wait for me?”

  She took a shuddering breath. “I have to. The best things are worth waiting for.”

  Theo was overwhelmed by emotion as he kissed her again, longer, deeper, a kiss to seal their promise. But he couldn’t get carried away.

  “Hurry and dress. We have to marry as soon as possible.”

  “And this all has to be secret?” she asked as she pushed off the bed.

  “It does until we stop Judge Blackwood.”

  “I hate judge Blackwood,” Nic growled as she put on her shift and then stepped into her dress.

  Theo grinned as he pulled on his jacket. “I think that covers wrath. Have we covered all the sins in one night?”

  “What about pride?”

  “I know I was damned proud of you last night.”

  “Greed?”

  He brushed her hair aside and kissed the back of her neck while doing up the back of her dress. “We covered greed, lust, and glutton last night.”

  “Envy?” she questioned, tilting her head to the side as he kissed her shoulder.

  “I envy the cloths that touch your body when I cannot.”

  She giggled. “What about sloth?”

  “I know I’d like to be a sloth and stay in bed with you all day.” He sighed. “We have to go.”

  Theo watched her finger comb her hair and re-pin it atop her head. Gathering the last of their things, they left the inn as the first streaks of dawn lit the sky. The future was uncertain. Weirick’s words came back to Theo.

  “We don’t have control of our tomorrow.”

  But at least they had today.

  Today he was marrying the woman he loved, even if tomorrow he had to break her heart.

  Chapter 27

  They roused the innkeeper, Mr. Riley, from his bed. He wasn’t bothered, and he was awfully cheerful to participate in a dawn wedding. He woke his daughter, Clair, the barmaid from last night, and his wife to serve as witnesses.

  Nic had managed to restrain her tears while they prepared to say their vows, but inside her heart was breaking. She was marrying the man she loved, but he would leave her. She might be left with a babe to hold in his place, but she wasn’t certain that would be enough.

  She stood across from Theo, their hands wrapped in a silk ribbon as they recited their vows.

  Theo didn’t have a ring. It was the only moment that Mr. Riley seemed to disapprove. Clair was quick to act, running outside and returning with a long-stemmed flower of clover. She looped the stem and tied it. And that was what Nic wore as they finished their ceremony.

  “I promise you will have something better as soon as we return. You may choose from any of my mother’s jewelry or buy something of your choosing,” Theo said to her.

  Nic blushed and nodded.

  He cleared his throat and slid the flower over her finger. “With this ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, with all my worldly goods I thee endow in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen.”

  Now it was her turn once more. “What God joins together let no man put asunder.” Her voice cracked.

  “Forasmuch as this man and this woman have consented to go together by giving and receiving a ring, I therefore declare them to be man and wife before God and these witnesses in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, Amen,” Mr. Riley finished.

  Theo kissed her sweetly on the lips, and in his eyes, she thought she saw understanding. It was difficult for him, too. As happy as they wanted to be, their wedding would forever be layered with sadness.

  Mr. Riley wished them well, and they rode out of the inn courtyard on their horses, fresh morning wind whipping white clouds across the lavender sky. They would have to hurry if they were to make it back in time.

  With Theo’s back to her, Nic cried the whole way, mourning the loss of the future she could not yet grasp, and letting the wind wipe away her tears. They returned to the castle and stabled the horses just before the stable lads woke and snuck back into the castle, avoiding the scullery maids as they built up the fires. Nic went to her room and tore off her dress, jumping into her bed mere seconds before the first knoc
k. She lay there as Hildy did her work and then left.

  Nic cried some more. This was not the wedding she had hoped for; she never imagined her wedding day like this. She claimed a headache, took a breakfast tray in her room, and stayed in bed until Odette came searching for her. She had to at least pretend to be normal if she was going to keep this heavy secret. Anne had said something to that effect yesterday when they discussed Bernie’s scandalous absence. Bernie was still missing, but they knew she was safe and somehow under Lord Chester’s protection. He was their neighbor, and as an only child, he’d come to act as an older brother to all of them while growing up. But over the years, his friendship with Bernie had grown closer, which did not please his parents.

  Nicolette was too exhausted with her own dilemma to give it much thought.

  Theo came to her that night, and they made sweet and slow love. While her body broke apart into stars of ecstasy, it was another blow to her heart. Another memory to keep her warm at night while he was away. By the following day, she was too exhausted to think of an excuse why she wanted to hole up in her room, heartbroken, her eyes swollen and red. Theo had spent all night with her and left before the first rays of dawn, which seemed to be symbolic of their whole relationship.

  In the shadows, hidden in shame.

  But she didn’t feel shame. She felt joy one moment and then despair the next, but never shame. Never regret.

  Nic just wanted more than she could have right now, and she didn’t know how to reconcile those things or how to pretend anymore. Or how to face her sisters when her heart was ripped open and bleeding everywhere, metaphorically speaking.

  But as she woke and dressed, the house seemed to hum with activity, and she left her room to see what the disturbance was.

  Bernie was back after two days. The castle was rife with speculation, and even her mother had come to visit them to ensure all her daughters were well and cared for. Nic had taken refuge, like a chick under her mother’s wing, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to tell her mother what had happened. She’d never kept a secret from her sisters. They always supported each other. But this was different. It wasn’t just her secret. And Theo’s safety hinged on her silence.

  There was already so much going on. She didn’t want to create more of a fuss. She was married secretly, possibly with child, and yet all she wanted to do was crawl back to her bed and hope Theo would come hold her. There were only two remaining days left of the house party, and Nic prayed they would somehow stretch into forever.

  Chapter 28

  Theo sauntered into his brother’s room without knocking the day before the ball. He half expected to find Luna there. His brother jerked with surprise in the midst of dressing, but he was alone.

  “I’ve come to a decision. And no, I don’t want any of your input,” Theo said. He was prepared for an argument, to defend his decision, but he supposed that was habit after all these years.

  Callen raised a brow and finished buttoning up his waistcoat and his jacket. Then he reached for his gloves. “Very well. What is your decision?”

  Theo drew in a breath. His chest felt so tight of late it hurt, but he had to do this. He’d rehearsed what he would say to be as convincing as possible. “I’m leaving. I think I’d like to see Barcelona. From there I’ll move on to Italy, maybe Greece, and see which climate suits me better.”

  His brother tried to hide his surprise and delight, but Theo could see the flash of relief that crossed his features.

  Good. It affirmed he was doing the right thing. Maybe.

  “I think all three of those locations have similar climates, but it’s totally up to you,” Callen said. “I imagined you somewhere in the Mediterranean, where the waters are rumored to be crystal blue.”

  “You know me so well, brother,” Theo said sardonically. They’d come a long way in the last two weeks, but something about his brother accepting Theo’s casual reasoning so quickly smarted his pride. He couldn’t let pride get in the way of what was right, though. His ego had stepped back for once.

  “Are you sure about this?”

  No. Not at all.

  Doing good was as alien to him as living abroad would be. Making all these decisions based on the needs of others was exhausting. But then he thought of Nic, and he knew he had to do something. A new fear had grown in him. Caring about her made the threat Judge Blackwood posed more real, as real as the length of rope the Judge wanted to hang him with.

  Theo didn’t even know if Kirby was dead, but still. The mere possibility. He was already going to leave her for a time. He didn’t want to make her a widow too, not for a long time, not until their children and grandchildren were grown. Theo refocused on his brother, no doubt thinking similar things, dreaming of his nights with Luna, the glorious future they could have.

  Theo cocked his head and hid a smile as he regarded his brother. The love sick fool was doing it right now. “If you think you’re hiding your excitement, you’re fooling no one, but I don’t blame you. If I could trade places with you, I would. But I know this is what I have to do. My actions have caught up with me at last. I’m too tired to defend them now. I appreciate you not openly gloating, but you’re right, and Luna’s been right. A lot of things have happened that have shown me how wrong I’ve been, how selfish and stubborn, and it’s time I redeem myself the only way I see how—short of letting Judge Blackwood hang me.”

  His brother flinched. “Let’s not talk of that anymore. What’s the plan? When do you want to leave?”

  His stomach knotted. The next steps would be doubly difficult. No more talking of leaving. He’d have to do it. “I don’t want to spoil the party, nor do I want to attend the ball. I think I’ll go and speak with Captain Marlowe today and see how soon we can leave.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Callen said.

  “That’s not necessary, and I’d rather do it alone. I need to stand on my own two feet.” He paused, catching sight of his own reflection in Callen’s bedroom mirror. “Perhaps my age has caught up with me. At least I can do this,” he said. “I know I can. I’m going to prove it to myself that I can.”

  “I’m proud of you, Theo.”

  Theo’s breath caught. His throat tightened.

  “I know how hard it is for you to make this decision, but it means the world to me, and I will see you again,” his brother continued. “We’ll come visit you at your villa. I’ll write instructions for Captain Marlowe. We’ll set up a bank account and a way to send letters to each other that Judge Blackwood and his investigators won’t be able to find. This isn’t the end for us. It’s the beginning of a new life.”

  Theo swallowed back his emotions. It certainly was. His brother didn’t know how much.

  Theo tried to sound unaffected by his brother’s words and scoffed. “Calm down, brother. It isn’t as though I’m leaving on a convict ship. I wasn’t pleased before but have given it a great deal of thought, and I can make the best of a bad situation. Touring the continent isn’t so bad. I’m sure I’ll find many ways to amuse myself, but I promise they won’t lead to duels or fisticuffs. I’m officially too old for those things.”

  “I’m glad to hear it,” Callen said. “I wish you the best.”

  Theo nodded and left, returning to his own room. He wasn’t fit to be seen. His eyes bloody hurt, like they’d been jabbed with hot pokers and were leaking. He closed his door and wiped his eyes, looking down at his fingers. They glistened with tears.

  Chapter 29

  Theo’s internal clock woke him just before dawn as it had two days before. But his day would be like no other going forward. He held Nic in his arms, both their bodies bare, caressing each other even in sleep. He cradled her breast in his hand as his erection firmed against her bottom. She stretched, arching her back. He did not know if she was yet awake as she let out a dreamy sigh. He moved his hand down her front to the slit between her thighs and the honeydew petals that awaited his touch. She was warm and wet.

  He nearly groaned. He adju
sted her hips, sliding his manhood between the globes of her bottom into her silky heat and seated himself in the home he would miss every waking moment when he was gone.

  His throat thickened with emotion as he thrust, slow and deep, feeling her body come alive, her sleepy sighs turning to breathless moans. She reached back, combing her fingers through his hair as she tilted her hips toward his, rocking back against his thrusts. A quiet cry broke from her lips as she came to a sweet release and Theo followed her.

  He squeezed his eyes closed.

  This would be the last time he’d hold her like this. Their last kiss, last time to make love in this bed. He was sure he had planted his seed inside her, and in nine months, she’d have his babe. He had no way of knowing for sure, but he just felt it in his bones. He prayed he’d see her again before that time came, and he’d watch her eyes light up with joy as he took her in his arms and promised to never leave her again.

  He swallowed and he rubbed his gritty red eyes. He slid from the bed, and she curled into a ball. He heard her sniff, and then she began to cry in earnest. They’d talked last night. She knew what his plan was for the day. He dressed quickly, unable to face her when his own pain tore at his heart and burned his eyes. He faced the window, where a light rain tapped the window.

  He swallowed. His throat tight. He forced his lungs to draw a deep breath.

  “Blow on ye wind, descend soft rain, to sooth my tender grief” he whispered. Those were the first words she’d ever sung to him.

  “Your solemn music lulls my pain and yields me short relief,” he softly sang.

  “Oh, my heart, my heavy, heavy heart,” she sang in reply from the bed, her voice low and gravelly with her pain, still beautiful but haunting.

  He wished he had his violin to accompany her. They’d perform a sad symphony.

  “Swells as ‘twould burst in twain. No tongue can e’er describe its smart, nor I conceal its pain.” She finished with a soft sob.