Sing Down the Stars

by Nerine Dorman

  Oddly enough, all she felt was a great sense of relief, as if a giant that had been pressing down on her head had let go without warning. She stretched enough to feel her vertebrae pop, then got up.

  Maree, a mousy human girl who’d been seated next to her gave her a weak smile. “That was horrible.”

  “It’s over now,” Nuri said.

  “Thank the ancestors. What are you going to do after this?” Maree also had no doubts about her future.

  “Dunno,” Nuri replied. “My patron is adopting me.”

  “Oh, that’s nice!” Maree sounded genuinely pleased for Nuri, which struck her as weird. Then again, she wasn’t a threat anymore, was she? Or maybe she’d felt so vulnerable since the bullying and the attacks started that she’d never given any of the Chosen outside her squad the time of day.

  The stragglers wandered out, and because it was lunch time, they all headed to the dining hall. Nuri’s stomach growled as if it was a stray beast, and it was easier to think about what would be on the menu than about her having flunked out on the examination. Neither Byron nor Mei had been among the late finishers.

  Nuri’s friends were waiting for her in the dining hall and had ordered her a hot chocolate in anticipation.

  “Hey, space trash!” Byron called as she ambled over.

  “Hey, brat!” Nuri returned. “Hey, Mei.”

  Mei waved back and made room on the bench for Nuri.

  The overall mood in the dining hall was far more relaxed than it had earlier that morning. A few Chosen looked glum, but most were talking and laughing.

  “That was rough,” Byron said. “You don’t have to feel bad about being one of the last. I finished ten minutes before the end and left quite a few blanks.”

  “I told you they’d ask that question about the Magellanic Paradox.” Mei turned to Nuri. “Please tell me you didn’t leave that one blank too.”

  Nuri shook her head. “I memorised the order of the list, according to BKOT, like you told me.”

  Mei beamed and clapped her hands. “Right! Someone has listened to me.”

  “That was one of the few I answered with any certainty,” Nuri said. “Unfortunately, the section on the theory of ethics made a wonderful whooshing noise.”

  “I think they were particularly tough on us,” Mei said. “I doubt any of us will get overall high scores.”

  “Except for you,” Byron pointed out.

  She shrugged. “Or I could just do mediocrely well, which means I’ll have a terrible average score, whereas some of you lot may do ridiculously well in one or two sections but fail miserably in others. It all evens out.”

  Lunch was an ancient Terran dish called pizza. It had real cheese, which was delicious and stringy, and not the usual synth stuff. Mei was overjoyed, even though Nuri needed a little convincing before she took her first bite. Perhaps the facilitators had realised that everyone needed cheering up after their ordeal.

  Raphel came in and Nuri watched as he did the rounds with assorted groups of Chosen. Judging by their responses, she could tell that more than a handful respected him the way she did. He’d been right – she hadn’t been paying attention.

  When he joined them at their table, he was all smiles, as if they weren’t waiting for the news that would change everything.

  “How are you lot doing?” he asked.

  “Meh,” Mei said with a shrug.

  “You have our results yet?” Byron asked. “Surely the AIs will have tallied everything up by now?”

  Raphel nodded and he caught Nuri’s gaze before he answered. “Of course. That’s the billion-credit question, isn’t it?”

  “Well?” Nuri leant forward.

  “Well,” he said with a wink, “it’s not up to me to tell you what happens next, other than the fact that the senior facilitators are all sitting in a meeting right now, discussing the outcomes. It’s not just this examination that determines the final cut. Just so you know.” Once again, he gave Nuri a meaningful look.

  She wasn’t sure what to make of it. Was he finding a not-so-subtle way to tell her that the exam wasn’t as important to the final decision as she’d feared? Maybe.

  “But it is a big deal,” Mei said.

  He folded his hands on the table and inclined his head. “I won’t lie. It is instrumental in the decision-making process. Vitally so. But many factors are considered. We’re talking everything from how you get on with your fellow Chosen to how well you perform in the wide games … how individual assignments are handled and whether or not you participate in class.”

  “Ugh,” Nuri said.

  “But if it’s any consolation, you won’t be left dangling longer than another half an hour or so. Once the powers that be finish their lunch, they’ll be calling you to the assembly hall.”

  Groans escaped all three, and Raphel offered a wry smile before he moved on to the next table.

  “That’s hardly comforting,” Byron said.

  “Nothing about this is comforting.” Mei pushed away the plate with her half-finished pizza. “Come, let’s go for a walk. We’ve a little time to kill before they call us, and I could do with a bit of sunshine.”

  * * *

  Contrary to Raphel’s prediction, nearly an hour passed before they received the notification signal via the AR. By then, Nuri had lost count of how many times the three of them had walked around the first field. This probably wasn’t the wisest thing for her to do, considering her pale skin, but the sunlight felt so wonderfully warm. Liquid gold, even if her eyes watered in the brightness.

  “That’s it, then,” Byron said.

  They stopped, turned to look back at the facility’s grey, grim buildings. Nuri took the first step to return, but Mei reached out and stopped her and Byron.

  “Guys,” she said. “Wait a moment. Just a moment. Stop and take a deep breath, and remember this.”

  Byron frowned, clearly uncomfortable with the “mushy girl stuff” he often accused Mei of. The three of them remained where they were.

  “Look at this,” Mei said. “It all changes the moment we go into that hall. I want you to promise me that, no matter what happens, we’ll have each other’s backs.” She clasped each of their hands and brought them together, so that they stood there, joined for a few heartbeats.

  Warmth flooded Nuri; whether it was Mei’s psi coming into play or a moment that had bloomed from all their emotions was impossible to tell. Except that her vision blurred, and then Byron squeezed them both into a tight hug.

  He stepped back first, wiping at his eyes. “I’m not crying.”

  “Of course not,” Mei said with a laugh that sounded more like a sob.

  Nuri had no words, but when they made their way back to the assembly hall, she drew comfort from the fact that they walked shoulder to shoulder, as if they were of a single mind.

  Back in the hall, they took seats that weren’t quite in the middle. While they had been out, the bots must’ve come in to remove the desks and set up the chairs. The scene reminded Nuri all too much of the first winnowing. Ah, who was she kidding? This was the final winnowing. Mei clasped her hand tightly, and Nuri leant into her, drawing strength from her. This was friendship through and through, and she never wanted to let go. Byron sat on her other side. He didn’t hold her hand, but his solid presence reassured her that whatever happened, things would work out fine.

  All nervous shifting of chairs and coughing ceased as the facilitators came in, dressed formally, their expressions as neutral as if they’d been wearing masks.

  Alda rose and came to the podium. She slowly swept her gaze over the Chosen, and the moment of silence stretched on and on, to the point where Nuri felt like jumping up and telling her to just get it over with already. It was as if she was moving as slowly as possible, precisely to keep everyone on edge.

  The woman cleared her throat, took a sip of water from a glass on the podium.

  “I would like to thank you all for participating in what has most likely been one of t
he single most historic events our planetary community has experienced since the end of the Civil War. A few months ago we took in two-hundred Chosen, drawn from various walks of life. Some of you knew what to expect, had already received training in various fields; some of you were raw, completely untried and new to this sort of programme. During this time, many of you have blossomed in ways that none of us had expected. While the majority of you will be going home today, know this: you are forever changed by your experiences here, and though you have not gained the prize, you still belong to an elite. No one can take that from you; this is something you’ll carry with you for the rest of your life.

  “As for the score of you who will stand for the emergence, you possess rare qualities that will see one of you reach beyond the stars in the very near future. We hope that the time you’ve had here will have helped to equip you for the trials that you face.

  “So, without further ado, I’d like to call our final Chosen to the front …”

  Nuri listened in a daze as one by one the names were called out. Byron’s name was third, and he rose with a “ahhh, yisss”. One by one, Chosen got up from their chairs and went to stand in a row in front.

  It’s not going to happen, it’s not going to happen, replayed itself in her head, as she slumped deeper into her seat. The world around her dissolved into static, and she squeezed shut her eyes, dimly aware that she was clenching her jaw.

  “Nuri! Hey, Nuri.” Mei’s voice reached as if from a great distance.

  She squinted at her friend.

  “They’ve called your name.”

  “What?” The word came out as little more than a croak and a wave of cold that rushed through her body.

  “Go, get up, go to the front.” A teary-eyed Mei gave her a small shove.

  Nuri’s feet didn’t want to work, and her knees had turned all rubbery as she struggled to the front. Byron was grinning at her so hard it looked like his face was about to crack, and she went to stand next to him. Thunderous applause broke out, accompanied by a screech of chairs as the remaining Chosen rose and gave an old-fashioned standing ovation.

  After that, things were blurry for Nuri as they filed out to have photographs taken and be filmed for the assorted news channels. Strangers brandishing all manner of recording devices swarmed around where they assembled in front of the administration block. In the warm weather, the coral trees were aflame with bright-red blooms that contrasted with the eggshell-blue sky, and the grey buildings had life in them.

  Fortunately, Nuri wasn’t expected to answer any questions – the facilitators had that task – though she was expected to tell the journalists more about herself.

  “Hi, my name is Nuri, and … and …” Words failed her. “And I’m glad to be here and that I’ve been given this opportunity to sing down the stars.” Why she’d referenced the pop song Mei had gotten her listening to she didn’t know, but it seemed appropriate.

  There were chuckles all round, and Nuri breathed a sigh of relief as the journalists moved onto Byron, who gave a rousing mini speech about how he intended to push beyond known frontiers. Oh, how they lapped that up, but Nuri couldn’t find it in herself to look down on him – Byron was, well, Byron, and she was glad he would be standing with her for the emergence.

  She didn’t know the other Chosen at all well; they all looked taller, stronger and more capable than she felt. Her heart gave a small lurch as she once again realised that Mei didn’t number among them. Even now, those Chosen not selected were most likely packing up and shipping out. Nuri hadn’t even had an opportunity to say goodbye, and like an idiot she hadn’t thought to say anything at the time her name had been called.

  She’d make it up to her once she got out of here. This much she swore to herself. Surely Fadhil would be able to help track Mei down. He had connections, and he gave the impression that he cared deeply about Nuri’s happiness.

  After the media opportunity, they had the rest of the afternoon off. Time to decompress, as one the facilitators put it – a Heran woman Nuri had taken an instant dislike to when she’d first heard her speak months ago. Things hadn’t changed.

  Byron fell in step with Nuri as she made her way to the residence.

  “You okay?”

  “All right,” Nuri said through numb lips.

  “Hey, cheer up. We’ve made the final cut.”

  “Not Mei.”

  His face fell. “Yeah, I know. Now you’re stuck with me till the end.”

  “There are worse fates. L’uul could’ve made it – she was a piece of work, that one.”

  “Thank the ancestors. So, what are you going to do now?”

  “Sleep, I think. I don’t know when last I’ve had time just for myself, and I just feel so …” She gestured vaguely with her right hand as if she was shooing bugs in the air.

  “Drained, like you don’t know what to do with yourself?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I hear you, space trash. I hear you.”

  “Military brat.”

  They traded tight smiles. Things weren’t exactly right with the world, but they were tolerable.

  Byron went to his room after making Nuri promise she’d join him for a run before supper. Maybe that was his way of trying to make her feel better. Or maybe he still saw himself as her self-appointed protector.

  Or maybe he was her only friend? The thought made her eyes grow scratchy.

  Mei was still her friend. Of course she was, and as soon as this whole thing was over, the communications ban would be lifted and they’d be able to get into contact again.

  Nevertheless, Nuri opened the door to Mei’s now-empty room. The space had been stripped completely of all furnishings. The sight was too depressing, so Nuri quickly shut the door and went to her own quarters.

  Miraculously Nuri hadn’t killed the ghost orchid yet. She watered the plant, removed three dead leaves. Apart from the riot of red-orange blooms in the coral trees outside her window, the small splash of green from the ghost orchid’s foliage pleased her. Not only that, but a new stalk was beginning to push its way out of the centre mass.

  “I suppose I should give you a name,” Nuri said to it, stroking the leaves. “Everyone tells me that I should talk to my plants because it’ll help them grow, but I think it’s like talking to myself, and that’s kinda stupid.”

  As it was, she felt awfully self-conscious talking to a dumb plant, especially when she was certain one of the facility AIs was monitoring her every move.

  The exhaustion and emptiness of having once again made it through a winnowing crept up on her, and she allowed herself to shed a tear for her absent friend.

  “I will see you again, Mei,” she whispered.

  Then she removed her shoes and curled up on her bed. She chose a drone ambient track from the music library – a three-hour sound sculpture that sampled falling water and mourning wind on repeat. She soon tumbled into dreamless sleep – the satisfying kind that blanked out all the noise in her head.

  18

  “Hey, Nuri.”

  It was Jonas, one of the humans who was also standing for the emergence. He was all right, so far as her fellow Chosen were concerned. Like many of them, he kept to himself, and he’d been unfailingly polite to her. Which helped.

  Nuri put down the tablet. “What’s up?”

  He jerked his thumb over his shoulder, towards the media centre exit. “There’s some dude here to see you. Your visitor got clearance, in other words. He’s waiting out front. Don’t forget to check your access code from admin.”

  Byron gave her a thumbs up from the couch opposite but then returned his attention to the comic he was reading. All further academic and physical tests had been suspended while they waited for the emergence, which could happen at any moment, they’d been told.

  Byron was reading all the comics he could download with his library credits. Nuri numbed herself had been playing endless vintage strategy games on her tablet. There was no ‘braining’ going on here, as Mei
would’ve put it.

  “Shot, thanks,” Nuri said to Jonas as she rose. “See you for that run when I’m back, Byron?”

  “Yup. Don’t be late.”

  “What, scared I’ll make you eat my dust again?”

  He snorted. “As if.”

  Access pass? Nuri hurried down the passage, then out across the quad to the admin building while she checked in via her AR. Seriously? Did that mean she’d be allowed … out?

  Her pulse hammered as she increased her pace. Then again, Fadhil had promised he’d keep in touch, and that he was looking forward to connecting with her. This shouldn’t make her so happy, but Nuri understood now that she was learning to enjoy forging connections with people. Also, Fadhil had stood her by during a time when she’d been in a whole steaming pile of trouble. He was the reason she was even in the programme. Not quite a father figure, but yeah, if he turned out all right as a boss, she’d not complain.

  The AI gave her clearance, and she exited by the big glass sliding doors that led to the visitors’ parking area. A large, sleek car crouched there – all black, metallic curves like a giant bug that had been stretched almost into a teardrop shape, and finished with mirrorchrome.

  Nuri had to have a moment. This was the sort of vehicle she’d only ever seen in the movies, a design based on an Old Terran combustion engine car from the pre-Contact days, but bigger, more predatory.

  A side panel slid open soundlessly, and Fadhil got out, dressed in a glacier-white suit that contrasted with his dark skin. Nuri gaped.

  “You going to stand there catching flies, or are we going for ice cream?”

  Nuri shook her head, allowed herself a smile, and trotted down the last few steps. “Wow. That car is something else.”

  “I thought you would appreciate it. And you seem to have things more together, judging by the reports.”

  She shrugged. “I’ve had time to think.”

  He extended his hand and she shook it. “Congratulations are in order, but then again, I never doubted you.”