BARR: a bay falls high novel

by Kidman, Jaxson

  “Of course it did, love. He knew what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. And I never gave you a reason why I left, did I? I just left. Because I had to. That was the reason. I didn’t want to hurt you any more than I already had. And it was…”

  “I know,” Mel said. She looked down at the keyboard again and pressed her fingers to the silent keys. “I fucking know.”

  “I think it’s cute when you curse, love,” I said.

  Mel laughed. “I don’t know where I am right now, Barr. Do I love you? Do I hate you? Do I just shut up and play this stupid keyboard to make you shut up?”

  “Or just check the box that says all of the above,” I said.

  Mel turned to face me. She lifted her right hand and made a checkmark in the air.

  Then she lowered her head.

  She started to cry.

  * * *

  I cupped my hands to her face and let her cry.

  I didn’t swipe away a single tear.

  Mel stared at me as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “You know some parts of it all, Barr,” she said. “The way my mother lived. Still lives. She’s managed to get herself to Nevada. Either Reno or Vegas. She told me she was making it in the big time. I don’t want to know what that means. My grandmother and great aunt made sure to keep the money flowing to keep me hidden in Brooks Crest. That was always the plan, right? In some way it was their plan to hide me and save me. I don’t know. But everyone knew about my mother. She worked at the rich strip club. But she never took her clothes off, Barr. Okay?”

  “I know, love,” I said. “I know all of that. She was a waitress there. And I know she wore next to nothing. And I know that… she had guy friends.”

  “Her version of business transactions,” Mel said. “My mother was… or is…”

  “Don’t say the word,” I said.

  “She is,” Mel said.

  “I know that hurts you,” I said. “But that’s not who you are. You’re stronger than that. You’re tougher than that.”

  Mel laughed. She finally shook me away from her.

  She walked away, back up the steps to the loft.

  “You’re wrong,” she called out. “So fucking wrong, Barr. You’re blind. Stupid and blind.”

  “I’m blind?” I asked as I chased after her. “How?”

  “I’m the exact same,” Mel said.

  I grabbed her arm and turned her around. “The same? How?”

  “Yeah, there’s the look in your eyes, Barr,” she said. “The one where you’re going to be ashamed of me. Disgusted by me. Hate me.”

  “Never,” I said.

  “I let this happen to myself,” she said.

  She touched the tip of her tongue to the corner of her mouth.

  I let her go and stepped back to the railing and made fists.

  “She always had a guy friend around,” Mel said. “That was her thing. I think that’s part of how I ended up at Brooks Crest. I never did anything bad. Or wrong. But there were connections and I’d be… hidden. But these guy friends always just came and went. Except this latest one. Carl. He’s some fancy executive for a mortgage company. He swooned my mother and managed to keep her. And when she decided to go to Nevada, he supported her. He sort of kept taking care of her. I don’t even know if they’re together or not. I had a place to live. Outside of Brooks Crest. It gave me a chance to sometimes get away from the noise. Things with Mac… they’re crazy, Barr. They are involved in so much. And I hear things. I hear things about Bay Falls High. I hear things about Hidden Creek High.”

  “That’s what Mac always wanted,” I said. “To expand and to have as much power as possible.”

  “Right. I saw that for a while. But… back to Carl. Sorry. He, uh, he told me I could get a job. With him. His company and everything. Entry level stuff. It’s not like he promised me the world, Barr. Okay? There was never anything like that. I just wasn’t sure about him. Ever. Something always seemed… I told myself maybe it was because my mother never had a guy friend who was nice.”

  “Nice?” I asked. “He hit you…”

  “Barr,” she said, shutting her eyes. “Shut up and let me talk.”

  “Yeah. Sorry.”

  Mel sucked in a shaky breath. “I slowly got away from Mac and BC. I did it the right way. So they didn’t really care so much. The only reason I had purpose was because of you, Barr. Mac always figured we kept in touch.”

  “Which we kind of did.”

  “Not really though,” I said. “More like a reminder that we were alive.”

  I turned my head at the jab to my heart.

  I deserved it.

  I walked away.

  I left her there.

  I allowed all of this to happen to her.

  “It was going to be perfect,” Mel said. “I was distancing myself from Mac and BC. I was going to start a job with Carl’s company. Making copies. Sorting mail. Answering the phones. It didn’t matter. It was something. And in a way it was perfect too because my mother was far away and staying that way. And… we were sort of talking more.”

  I forced a grin and nodded.

  We talked because she was away from Mac.

  Mac made her live in fear.

  And now some guy named Carl hurt her.

  “Then it all came crashing down,” she said. “Carl was mean. He would say terrible things about me. About my mother. He worried about her sleeping with other guys. Which I understood. I suddenly felt like I went from one trap to another. And then he got drunk and got really mad. He told me I could answer phones and make shit out of my life. Or I could use what I had from my mother to make cash.”

  The anger raged through me.

  I pushed from the railing and Mel put her hand out to stop me.

  “I stood up for myself,” Mel said. “I was mad at myself for a lot. I was thinking about Mac. I was thinking about BC. I was thinking about you. There was so much in my head. And I could tell that Carl was showing his true colors. And all I could think about was… I was going to have to run back to Mac. And BC. I took my eyes off of everything for a second, Barr, and… he hit me.”

  I jumped at Mel.

  Which was probably stupid to do after she confessed someone hit her.

  I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her.

  She cried into my chest.

  “He fucking hit me,” Mel whispered. “It was so fast. So sudden. I fell down but I didn’t need to. I just went… numb.”

  My hands moved up and down her back.

  Loving her.

  Hating myself.

  “He walked away and I took off,” Mel said. “I went back to Brooks Crest.” She looked up at me. “I went to the tree. Because I needed to find the courage to go back to Mac. But then you showed up.”

  “That should have never happened to you, love,” I said. “Where is this guy now?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Barr. I’m here now. Right? Isn’t that what you said?”

  “Yeah. You’re here. But are you really here, Mel? You see this place, right? You can have it. You can crash here. You can have the bed. You can have the room. You can stay at Kip’s guesthouse. Whatever you need, love. But that’s up to you. Are you really here?”

  “I’m here,” she said. She put her hands between us and slowly grabbed my shirt. “Barr… I’m really here. I’m scared. And I’m fighting through that.”

  “That guy won’t ever hurt you again,” I said. “And neither will Mac. I will protect you. The way I always-”

  “Barr, stop talking,” she said. “You’re not listening to me.”

  “I’m listening, love. I hear everything.”

  “You don’t though,” Mel said. She stepped back and put a hand to my face. “I’m not afraid of Mac. Or Carl. Or my mother. Or really much of anything.”

  “Then what are you afraid of, Mel?” I asked.

  Her eyes were locked tight to mine when she answered. “You.”

  * * *

  I li
t a cigarette and stayed up in the loft area and leaned over the railing.

  I watched as Mel bent over to check that the keyboard was plugged in.

  My eyes danced with the same rhythm as my heart.

  When she stood back up, she reached into her pocket and took out a hair tie. She pulled her hair back and wrapped the hair tie around her hair twice.

  She turned on the keyboard and hit a note.

  She adjusted the volume.

  I looked to the center of the room and the bench I had bought was still in the box. It was only a few pieces that needed to be put together. It would take me five minutes.

  I didn’t move.

  I waited.

  Mel played a few chords.

  She nodded.

  Then she went into a song.

  It was slow at first. And when she missed a note or hit the wrong note she didn’t stop.

  When she did stop, she rubbed her hands together.

  She looked up at me.

  I nodded and smiled at her.

  I listened to the next song as I walked down the steps.

  I smoked half my cigarette before the urge to trade it for Mel hit me hard.

  So I got rid of the cigarette in the bathroom sink and I slowly approached Mel from behind. When my hands touched her waist, she froze for a second. I felt her body tense up. Then she started to play again.

  I eased my body against hers and looked over her shoulder and down to watch her play.

  Her fingers trembled as she played.

  “Long time, love?” I whispered.

  “Way too long, Barr,” she whispered.

  I turned her around, leaving her fingers still playing in the air.

  My body pressed against hers again.

  She was breathing heavy.

  So was I.

  I brushed my lips to hers as though it were some kind of warning. My hint at what was to come. She kissed me back, leaving me needing her more than ever.

  We started to kiss. And with the comfort of privacy and my room, there was nothing that could stop the moment. Not like at the fucking guesthouse.

  My hands held her hips tight.

  I felt her start to gently rock left to right. Teasing me. Flirting with me. Telling me that what she wanted was the same thing as me.

  She put her hands to my shoulders and dug her fingers at me.

  I moved my mouth from hers and eased my lips against her neck.

  She put her head back and let out a breathless sigh.

  I picked her up and put her on top of the keyboard.

  The urges… the needs…

  I pressed the bridge of my nose to her neck and took a deep breath in, growling as I did so.

  “Barr… I need… oh, shit.”

  I lifted my head and realized Mel was moving.

  She was… falling.

  Well, the keyboard was falling.

  “Fuck,” I whispered as I pulled her against me again.

  The keyboard slammed off the floor and flipped over.

  Mel gasped. “Shit.”

  She looked at me, her eyes wide.

  I let out breath. “Fuck.”

  Her mouth flickered into a smile. “My fat ass broke the new keyboard.”

  “Your ass is perfect, love,” I said.

  “Barr…”

  She started to laugh.

  She put her head back and laughed.

  It made me laugh.

  My hands held her hips tight, her body against mine.

  And we both laughed.

  When she looked at me again, tears were in her eyes, but this time they were happy tears.

  I moved my hands from her hips to her face. “Mel, I can’t tell you to not be afraid. Or how to feel. But I swear to you, as long as you’re here with me I’ll keep you safe. I don’t care what it takes or what it costs me.”

  Mel nodded. “I know that, Barr. That’s what scares me. The way you love me scares me. And the second I saw you that night and realized you had somehow found a way to save me again…” She looked down at the keyboard and laughed again. “I hope that store has a return policy.”

  “Fuck that store, love,” I said. “And even if the keyboard is broken, I’ll just buy a new one. I’ll buy a few, just so we have extras in case we get caught up in the moment again.”

  “Because you’re a rich douchebag, right?”

  “Exactly,” I said.

  I put my forehead to hers.

  She started to laugh again.

  I laughed too.

  These moments between us…

  I shut my eyes.

  I love you, Ody… I have to find a way to keep you here.

  Chapter 15

  I said I wasn’t going back to the guesthouse.

  I tossed my cigarette to the ground and shook my head, watching Mel, Tinsley, and Ruby as they sat at the edge of Kip’s pool with their feet in the water.

  Each of them gently splashing the water, talking about whatever.

  Mel looked at me every few minutes and would either nod or half smile.

  She was carving my heart into pieces like only she knew how to do.

  Kip came walking up from the ocean, shaking his head like a wet dog, knowing (and loving) that anyone who saw him, stared.

  Pres walked out of the guesthouse and nodded to me.

  He got to me just about the same time as Kip.

  “Fucking waves are nice right now,” Kip said. “I’m thinking about taking Ruby to my secret place.”

  “That stupid cove looking thing where you took Tinsley?” I asked.

  “How did you…”

  “Kip, we know about that spot,” Pres said. “You’ve talked about it before. You brag about it all the time. Like you discovered it.”

  “I did discover it,” Kip said.

  “Good,” I said. “Then go live there. It’s your world then. Kipville.”

  “How about Kipsburgh?” Kip asked.

  “How about I talk for a second?” Pres asked.

  “The floor… or sand… is yours,” Kip said.

  “I’m assuming this is about Uly,” I said. “And pretty, pretty Belle.”

  Pres nodded. He smiled. “We’ve got their attention. Now we wait and see what happens next. They’re in a world of shit over there anyway. I still can’t figure out what Uly has with Hil and Ash.”

  “Other than Belle,” I said.

  “Does there need to be anything else?” Kip asked. “Once you find something worth going for…”

  My eyes looked to the pool.

  Mel pulled her feet from the pool and stood up.

  Then Tinsley and Ruby did the same.

  “I hate waiting around,” Kip said.

  “No choice,” Pres said. “I don’t want this to erupt.”

  “Just be ready for anything,” I said. “I don’t know how everything here plays out.”

  “With you and Mel?” Pres asked. “Is she staying?”

  “She’s not leaving,” I said. “That much I know. I know who hurt her. And I’m going to find a way to make it right. She told me not to though.”

  “Of course she did,” Kip said. “How bad?”

  “Bad enough,” I said.

  “Then let’s get crazy,” Kip said. “Who are we going after? Name the school. Name the person.”

  “It’s not that at all,” I said.

  “I’m sorry,” Pres said. “For everything, Barr. You’ve felt for her for so long. It never went away. You’ve kept yourself closed… but we aren’t blind.”

  “I know that, Pres,” I said. “It’s a lot at once. But I can’t lose her again. I can’t let her go. I can’t walk away from her. But I can’t force her to stay.”

  “Find out what she wants and give it to her,” Kip said. “That’s what I did with Ruby. I found out all her secrets…”

  I looked at Kip. “I don’t need to win her over, Kip.”

  “But you have to keep her near you,” he said.

  “She has friends her
e,” Pres said. “She has Tinsley and Ruby. And she has us.” Pres put a hand to my shoulder. “Don’t doubt that for a second. Whatever comes this way, we’ve got it. I know the way I acted earlier…”

  “Oh, damn, you’re all getting soft on me,” Kip said. “I’m in the mood for crazy. If you two want to stand here and make out, go for it.”

  Before I could grab Kip and punch him in the mouth, he was on the move.

  He walked along the side of the pool toward the guesthouse.

  From the corner of my eye I saw him turn.

  And I saw the look in his eyes.

  “Shit,” I said to Pres.

  “What?” Pres asked.

  “Kip’s crazy is trouble for us,” I said.

  Pres nodded.

  Pres and I watched as Kip snuck up to all three… Mel, Tinsley, and Ruby.

  They had no idea he was right there.

  I could have said something but I didn’t.

  Kip yelled “Group hug!” and wrapped his arms around all three and pushed them and himself into the pool.

  Pres growled. “Yeah, we’re going to pay for that one.”

  * * *

  “… eleven… twelve…”

  Pres counted as Ruby and Tinsley held Kip under the water.

  Mel stood in the shallow end, the water just over her breasts.

  And, yeah, I was eyeing that water level with a desire…

  “sixteen… you’re going kill him,” Pres called out.

  “He might end up with brain damage,” I said.

  “He already has brain damage,” Tinsley said.

  “Hey,” Ruby said. “Are you making fun of me then?”

  “No,” Tinsley said. “You know how stupid Kip is.”

  “But he’s my stupid boy,” Ruby said.

  “Nineteen!” Pres yelled.

  “Fine,” Tinsley said.

  She pushed away from Kip and swam to one of the ladders and climbed out of the pool.

  Pres went on the run to get to his girl with a towel.