by Lady Lissa
He stands there looking at me with so much pain in his eyes and I’m wondering what the hell happened for him to be feeling like this. I just don’t understand the pained look he is giving me right now.
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he says quietly.
“Then what are you talking about baby? What has you looking this way?”
Now I’m really scared. What could have happened since we said our goodbyes this morning to now for him to feel this kind of pain? I wish to God I could call my sisters, but this shit will look suspicious if I leave our conversation to go make a phone call. So I just stand there, silently praying that whatever happened isn’t going to tear us apart. Rico is the only man I’ve ever loved, he was my first love. He is the first man I ever gave myself to and hopefully, he will be the last.
“Just answer me this. Do you remember when I first told you that I was going away? Like when I first got locked up?”
“Yes, of course. That was the worst day of my life. I didn’t know what I was gonna do without my baby. You are the only man I have ever loved, you know that right?”
“Yea, I know. But do you remember what you said when you found out I was going away for three years?” He looks at me with a serious expression on his face.
I think back to three years ago when all this shit went down.
Rico and I were the happiest we had ever been. Our relationship was a year old and I was so in love with this man. When Rico and I first met, our relationship took off right away. The attraction between us was so strong, that we just couldn’t get enough of each other. We weren’t living together then because I was still underage, but we saw each other every single day.
Laura didn’t like that we were spending so much time together, but with her business flourishing the way it was, she certainly didn’t have the time to regulate my love life. I saw Rico every chance I got. I even snuck out of that raggedy ass apartment we lived in just to be with him. When Rico and I first made love, I was scared to death. I had caught my mom a few times having sex before and the look on her face was one of pure enjoyment. I prayed that would be the same look I would have on my own face. When we had sex, it hurt for a little while, but not for long. Soon, my pussy adjusted to his dick and it felt wonderful.
After that first night, I couldn’t get enough of Rico’s dick. He was a little older than me so he taught me how to please him. I didn’t have to teach him anything though, because he knew exactly how to make me feel good. Anyway, he had a run to make and said he would be gone for a couple of days. Of course I wanted to go with him, but he wouldn’t let me. I didn’t know he was even in Puerto Rico until he called me. He said he had been pulled over and because he had drugs on him, he was going to jail. I wanted to go down there for his trial and sentencing, but he didn’t want me to be there. He said it would be too hard for him to see me and not be able to come home with me.
Once he’s done with his sentencing, he calls me back. I remember that conversation like it was yesterday.
“Hey baby,” I said when the call came through.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“I was waiting for you to call me. When are you coming home?” I have missed him. By that time, Rico had been gone for a little over a week. I was trying my best to be patient because I knew that different countries handled their business differently.
“Yea well the judge sentenced me to three years in jail,” he said sadly.
“Three years! What the hell babe? I thought you had a good attorney. She ain’t that good if she got you three years,” I said. I was so frustrated. How could this have happened? How could the man I love be locked up hundreds of miles away from me?
“Baby I’m sorry. She did the best she could. With the amount of drugs I had on me, I could have gotten locked up for longer than that, a lot longer. Look, I understand if you want to move on. I don’t expect you to wait around for me.”
His voice was so sad. He sounded nothing like the confident and strong boss I knew him to be when I met him. Of course I was gonna wait for him. I love him.
“Babe don’t worry about that. I am gonna wait for you,” I said.
“Are you sure you want to do that?” He asked me.
“Yes I’m sure. I love you and I don’t want anyone else but you,” I said.
“Okay, so it’s settled then. I’ll wait on you and you will wait on me,” he said happily.
“What do you mean, you will wait on me? You gon’ be locked up, so it ain’t like you was gon’ be fuckin’ anyway.”
I felt he was trying to play me when he said that. He’s gonna wait on me. Ha! What is he thinking? Is he in a co-ed prison or something? I mean, it is Puerto Rico so who knows what the hell be going on down there.
“I mean just what I said. There are women guards up here who will fuck with a nigga. It ain’t like those jails out there. Out here, we can fuck who the hell we want to, as long as we don’t get caught. But that don’t even matter, because I wanna be with you and only you,” he said.
His words caused me to smile and blush heavily. I loved that man with all my heart and soul. Waiting for him didn’t seem like something that couldn’t be done. I loved Rico so much, of course I was willing to do his bid with him.
But that was then and this is now. As I stand here, with his eyes set on me I begin to play with my fingers, something I did often when my nerves got the best of me. As he stands there waiting for my response, I feel kinda bad about having to break the news to him this way. This is something I never planned to do at all. I want Rico to believe that I never cheated on him. He sees me as this pure chick who has only slept with him. How can I tell him that I’ve slept with at least seven men since he was locked up?
“You gon’ answer me?” He asks, still looking in my eyes. I can tell that he knows something, but he is waiting for me to tell him what he probably already knows. I’m sorry but my lips are sealed and I ain’t saying shit.
“I remember what I said,” I said quietly.
“Right. You said you was gonna wait for me until I got out. I told you that you could move on, but you insisted that you loved me and that you was gon’ wait for me. Do you remember that?” He asked again and stood there waiting for an answer.
“Yes I did say that and I meant it. I love you so much Rico. If anything, I love you more now than I did before. Do you know how hard it was for me to be without you? I missed you so much,” I said, stepping closer to him with tears in my eyes.
He looks at me, his own eyes misty and asks, “Did you wait for me?”
“What?” I heard what he asked but I will not admit to not waiting for him.
“Did you wait for me? You need me to spell it out for you? Were you fucking around while I was locked up?”
Ouch! He heard some shit. I only hope after our conversation is over with, he still loves and wants to be with me.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Rico
I am standing next to my baby and all I want is for her to tell me that she was faithful to me during the time I was locked up. That’s all I want her to say. I just want her to say that she kept the promise she made to me and that she didn’t give my pussy away. I know three years is a long time, especially the way we was getting it in at the time, but she made that decision. I didn’t want to pressure her to do something she wouldn’t be committed to do and that is why I told her to move on.
Over the past few weeks I had been hearing some things and at first I tried my best to ignore it, but there was this nagging voice in the back of my head that said I need to investigate. I was going to ask Vega about it, but I didn’t want to put him in that situation. Since he was dating Van’s sister, I didn’t think it was fair to put him in the middle, even if we are first cousins.
I had been on campus the last few days looking for that dude I had fought with at the club that first night. It wasn’t until today that I spotted him and low and behold, he and Van were having words. Looked like his buddies were going in
on her, one in particular, and it took everything I had in me to not fuck him up. I stayed out of sight because I just wanted to see what the outcome would be. I couldn’t hear everything but I do know she had words with the dude’s friend.
After she stormed off, I watched the dude and his friends leave the campus and decided to follow them. They ended up at the park and soon as the dude I fought with got to where the other dude was seated, the one that had words with Vanity, the nigga clocked his ass. From the way he reacted, you could see it caught him off guard and he wasn’t expecting it. He fell to the ground and even though he tried his best to fight back, dude really gave it to his ass.
I was sitting in my car watching and when the fight was over with, the other dude got in his ride and left. I don’t blame him. Had I got my ass kicked and embarrassed like that I would have shot the spot too. Dude was sitting on the picnic table with his boys, smoking and drinking. I stepped out my ride, my 9 millimeter Glock securely tucked in my waistband. I ain’t trying to start no shit. All I want is some answers, but if he comes at me the wrong way, I won’t hesitate to blow his brains out all over this park.
As I was approaching them, he looks at me with this face that I don’t understand, but if that nigga pops off, I’ma pop off and Lord knows, he won’t like that shit.
“Yo man, can I talk to you for a minute?”
He doesn’t say anything as he gets off the table and walks towards me. In the background, I heard the other niggas asking who the fuck I am. They don’t need to worry about who the fuck I am because I ain’t got no business with them.
“Wassup,” he asks, looking at me with a questioning gaze.
“Look, I need to know what your business with Vanity was.”
“What you mean by that?”
“I mean, are y’all seeing each other? Y’all fuckin’? What the hell is going on with the two of you?”
I mean, I knew that the dude knew what the hell I was talking about, but since he wanted to play dumb, I was gonna spell it out for him. So, I’m looking at him and he’s looking at me but he ain’t speaking yet.
“Whoa! Don’t you think you should have asked me that shit the first night we met?”
“Nah yo, because the way you came at my girl made me check yo ass! Now you gon tell me what is or was going on between you and my girl?”
“If she’s yo girl, why don’t you ask her ass? Why the fuck you coming at me with this bullshit?”
“So you ain’t gonna tell me shit? Is that how it is? Because if you ain’t gon’ say shit, I’m wasting my fuckin’ time talkin’ to yo ass!” This motherfucker was pissing me the fuck off. Like what the hell? Is the bitch in his feelings or something?
I turned to walk away and he called me, “Hey wait!”
“Fuck that! You either gon’ tell me what I wanna know or I’m done!”
“I am not a nigga that puts my business out in the street like that, but I got an idea. I have known Van for a while and she’s a cool chick, but there is a way you can find out everything you need to know. I mean, I’ll help you get the information you want, but I won’t snitch on her,” he said.
“What do you have in mind?” I ask because to be honest, I think the nigga is shady as fuck, but I’m willing to have a conversation with him. The plan was simple enough so I agreed to it.
I just need to know what’s going on with my girl. This is the woman I plan to marry and I love her more than anything. She is and has been the only woman I have loved in a long time. I waited three years to come home to my woman, who I thought was waiting for me, being faithful. But now I have doubts that she has been keeping her legs closed.
That night at the club, I noticed the exchange between her and my boy Noah. I didn’t know they knew each other so I introduced them. What they didn’t know was that I had caught the funny glances between them and how Vanity’s facial expressions changed that night. I asked her what was going on and all I wanted was the truth. If she tells me the truth right now, I will let it go and we will move on from here, but if she doesn’t things are not gonna end well.
“I will ask you one more time, were you faithful while I was locked up? The only way we are going to move on is if we are honest with each other. Just tell me,” I said. As much as I love her, I am sick and tired of the bullshit.
“Baby I love you and I don’t understand why we have to go through this. You know how much I care about you. I wanna marry you and I want us to have kids and just be happy. Why can’t you just let us be happy?” She asks as she pleads with me.
The doorbell rings and she looks at me with a questioning look.
“Are you expecting someone?”
“I’m just trying to get the truth from you,” I said as she moves towards the front door.
I just follow her into the front room and wait for her to open the door. She pulls the door open and the look on her face when she sees her ex-boyfriend, Malcolm and her one night stand private dance, Noah is priceless.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Ronnie
Ever since me and Turk had that fight, we haven’t spoken once. I was surprised he hasn’t texted me, but I just know that we just have bad timing. Everything was against us at this point.
I’m a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. I can’t change the fact that he hurt my feelings. I didn’t even know where to start. Everything with school was going good, but I feel like my personal life was a whirlwind of emotions. Turk and I keep going through all of this bullshit. Then there’s Courtney who has been as sweet as ever. I like him a lot, but I also like Turk. The two of them are so different from each another, they’re like sugar and salt. I am sitting on a bench outside enjoying this beautiful day in Atlanta. Everyone seems to be walking around happy and I just wish that I would feel the same way. I swear my world was great, until I started messing with these no good niggas. All of this shit is for the birds really. I was glad that today I only had one class. Everyone is talking about the football game that’s going on tonight. I’m pretty sure that Stasia will want me to go with her, but then again maybe not, ‘cause she’s been moping around lately. I feel my phone vibrating on my hip and pick it up. It’s Courtney calling me.
“Hello,” I said, answering on the first ring.
“What are you up to, beautiful?”
“Nothing much, just sitting outside chillin’.”
“What's wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m just chillin’. But what are you up to?”
“Nothing, just leaving practice. I’m fixing to head home.”
“I forgot that you have an apartment,” I said, as I brush a piece of hair out of my face.
“Yea, you should come chill sometime. Get you a good night’s rest. I know them dorm beds can be uncomfortable as fuck.”
“You ain’t never lyin’ about that.”
“I'm saying though. But I called you to see if you coming to the game tonight?”
“I don’t know Courtney.”
“You should come; it’ll be fun.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“If you change your mind, I'll leave your name at the gate so you can get in free.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“No problem. I'm about to jump in the shower. So I’ll talk to you later.”
“A'ight bye.”
“Later.”
I was thinking about going to the game now, but then what if this nigga has groupies all at the game. I already see how those girls throw themselves at him on a daily basis, and I’m not sure if I want to deal with that. Maybe I just need to find me a low key nigga, ‘cause these dudes with all of these females around them, ain’t working for me. I’m not used to all of this. I am the sweet girl, not the one that fights bitches over niggas. As I look up I see Stasia walking towards me. She looks a little down as she sits next to me. For a while we just sit there, both in our own thoughts.
“Ronnie, can I tell you something?”
“Sure, what’s up?”
“I’m pregnant.”
“For real?” I ask in total shock. I can't believe that she had slipped up this bad.
“Yeah, but that's not the worst part.”
“What's the worst part?”
“I honestly don't know who the dad is. I been messing with Turk’s friend as well as this other guy. I mean, I really like Turk’s friend, but I know that he’s playing games with me. So I kept my lil’ side piece. This is just ugh so fucked up.”
“Damn Stasia, what are you going to do?”
“I don't even know, man. I been sick and throwing up and shit.”
“Are you going to tell your parents?”
“Hell no! My daddy will kick my ass.”
“So what are you gone do?”
“I don't know Ron.”
I just nod my head, completely understanding. Stasia has gotten herself in a fucked up situation. I don't know what I would do if I had to deal with that. And here I was thinking that my life was complicated.
“So do you want to go to the game with me tonight?” Stasia turns to me and asks.
“I thought that you said you were sick.”
“I am, but I'm tired of moping around about something I can’t change. I just want to get out and have some fun.”
“I feel you.”
“So do you want to go?”
“Yea, okay.”
“Cool.”
Stasia is right and I’m tired of moping around, too. It ain’t even that serious. I am gonna go to this game tonight and try my best to have some fun. Plus I love the game of football.
*****
The game end up being fun as hell. I can honestly say that I really enjoyed myself. The crowd was so turnt up that, I couldn’t help but turn up with them. The school’s cheerleaders and dancers had the crowd hyped. As everyone leaves the stadium and move over to the campus parking lot, it is almost as if it was a club that had just shut down. Me and Stasia are chilling though. A couple of dudes approach us and try to talk to us, but I’m curving niggas left and right. When I hear the people clapping around us, I can’t help but turn around and see that they are cheering for the football players who are coming out. I can't help but notice how good Courtney looks in his Nike sweats, white V-neck t-shirt, and all white huaraches. His hair is freshly cut as well. I also can’t help but notice how all the females flock to him. I don't want to feel jealous, but I can't help it.
