by Kevin Neary
In this case, Gabriel knew presents for his mommy (“dress,” “matching shoes,” and “pocketbook”) were more important than any present Santa Claus could bring for him.
The final piece of artwork comes from Matthew, who has a true appreciation for the Star Wars universe and how he believes a lightsaber battle between Santa Claus and Darth Vader would be the ultimate battle of good versus evil.
Interestingly, Santa Claus, in the artwork, is seen carrying a red lightsaber. Does that mean he is susceptible to the dark side? Santa Claus is also a huge Star Wars fan.
“Don’t Forget the Milk and Cookies!”
“Are you leaving milk and cookies for Santa when he visits your house on Christmas Eve?” is the perfect close to every Santa Claus visit. What I mean by the word “close” is simply my way of bringing the negotiation between child and Santa to an end. It’s a necessary evil, so to speak, for any Santa. Normally, you’ll have a multitude of children waiting to see Santa on any given day and as much as you want to spend as much time with each of them, every visit must come to an end.
There have been many stories as to the origin of “leaving milk and cookies” for Santa. Some point to the medieval German tradition of the paradise tree. Other suggest the custom began during the Great Depression when it was believed that even children must be able to experience the concept of sacrifice. A more exotic meaning points to Norse mythology and the god Odin and his eight-legged horse Sleipnir. While others believe the tradition began with Saint Nicholas himself when it was customary to leave a treat in exchange for a gift.
Well, whatever the reason, it remains the perfect ending to every visit to Santa Claus. I’ll be the first to admit, in our house, we still leave milk and cookies on a special plate we put out every year on Christmas Eve for Santa Claus and even though our three children are teenagers now we’ve done this routine every year.
So, after the children sit on Santa’s lap and tell him all about the wonderful toys they would like for Christmas, Santa then asks them if they are going to leave Santa Claus the traditional serving of milk and cookies when he visits their house on Christmas Eve.
Legend has quite a bit to do with this question as well. Knowing that Santa has to travel to all of those houses and cover such a great distance, milk and cookies provide that much-needed energy for Santa Claus to continue his journey.
Sometimes, when we’d get to the “milk and cookies” part of the conversation, Santa would get some funny feedback.
In one example, Kelly was a girl no older than five, well-behaved and mannered and one that would certainly never tell Santa Claus a fib. I’ll pick up the conversation after having determined what Kelly wanted for Christmas. It went something like this:
“Santa is so glad you stopped by to see him today. Remember Kelly, if you can think of anything else you would like Santa Claus to bring you for Christmas, you can always write him a letter at the North Pole.”
Politely Kelly replied, “Thank you, Santa.”
“Remember Kelly, don’t forget to leave Santa some milk and cookies when he visits your house on Christmas Eve, will you?”
“Sure, Santa,” Kelly responded sweetly. “But, I’m going to leave the milk and cookies in the refrigerator ‘cause we have roaches.”
You can certainly imagine poor Kelly’s mother who just heard those tender innocent words from her daughter. Needless to say, embarrassment is an understatement. Maintaining a straight face without a hint of laughter was an accomplishment for this Santa.
Kelly provided another perfect example of just how kids say the darndest things.
One of my personal favorites, however, involved Mason. Mason’s visit to Santa was another example of a mother’s worst nightmare, or, one more example of how a mother could go from the joy of seeing her child with Santa, to embarrassment. Again, I’ll start at the conclusion of Mason’s wish list.
“Well, Mason, Santa will do his best to bring you what you want for Christmas but remember you have to continue to be good!”
“Yes, Santa,” replied Mason.
Santa then went in for the close, “Mason, are you going to leave Santa some milk and cookies when he visits this year?”
In an emotional response Mason said, “I’ll leave the milk, but not the cookies, and, do you know why?”
Picture if you can, Mason was sitting on Santa’s lap and aggressively pointing his index finger at me while asking the question, “And, do you know why?”
Before ever being given the opportunity to respond, Mason added his reason for not leaving the cookies. “Because cookies are not at all nutritious and they are full of sugar!”
Naturally, the first thing that crossed my mind was, I wonder how many times this same statement had been said to Mason! It was at that point I decided to look up to Mason’s mother and ask.
“Just curious, how many times has this been said to Mason?”
Mason’s mother really didn’t have to say a word, the answer was written all over her face, but she did add, “Oh, about a hundred million times.”
Then there was Liam, who thought Santa may prefer a little something different as opposed to the traditional feast of milk and cookies.
Again, I will pick up at the end of my visit with Liam after having determined what his Christmas wish list was, “Well Liam, that certainly is a big wish list for Santa. Santa will do his best. As always, it was nice of you to stop by and see Santa today. Are you going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa when he visits your house on Christmas Eve?”
Liam pondered the question for a moment and then the answer came to him. “Hey Santa, how about some Chex cereal instead of the milk and cookies?”
In a supportive tone, Santa responded, “Sure, they’re okay.”
I could detect the expression of relief on Liam’s face before he voiced his true intentions, “Good, because we’re trying to get rid of them. Grandma keeps bringing them over and nobody likes them!”
In terms of other untraditional treats which Santa has been promised over the years, the story of a child named Noah comes to mind. Noah must have thought it can get a little hot in that big red suit that Santa Claus wears and thought he could use a cold one.
“Now remember Noah, if you think of anything else you would like Santa to bring to you for Christmas, please by all means you can write Santa Claus a letter at the North Pole.”
“Sounds good,” Noah replied confidently.
“Noah, are you planning to leave Santa some milk and cookies when he visits your house on Christmas Eve?”
With Santa’s best interest in mind, Noah simply asked, “How about a Colt 45, Santa?”
“Wow, malt liquor!”
From Santa’s perspective, he is strictly a hot cocoa kind of guy.
Several years back there was Abby, who thought Santa could use a good hot meal during his long travels.
“Remember Abby, if you can think of anything else you would like for Christmas, you can always write Santa a letter at the North Pole. And, once Santa receives your letter, he shows it to Mrs. Claus, then to all the reindeer and especially then to all the Elves so they’ll know what to make for Abby for Christmas.”
[Note from Santa: Yeah, I know what you’re thinking, pretty corny. But remember, when Santa gives that much attention to your letter and you’re only four year old, that’s a big deal.]
“Abby, are you going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa?”
“Sure. Santa, if that’s what you want, but how about some nice macaroni and cheese to go?” replied Abby.
Not bad! You can’t beat macaroni and cheese, no matter your age.
I will always remember Ed, who asked Santa, “What’s your favorite type of donut, Santa?”
That is my kind of kid, as I can always go for a good donut!
Then there was Mia, who for some reason got Santa confused with her puppy.
“It was so nice to see you today, Mia. Santa was so glad you were able to take the time ou
t of your day to come down and see him. Now Mia, are you going to leave Santa some milk and cookies when he stops by your house on Christmas Eve?”
“I’m going to leave you milk, cookies, and a doggy bone.”
From what I can remember, Mia never really gave any clear indication as to why a doggy bone was part of Santa’s late-night snack routine. I’m sure they’ll be good for Santa’s teeth and hopefully it will keep up my shiny coat.
Over the years, I have also been promised such liquid treats as Coca-Cola, Mountain Dew, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, coffee (to help keep Santa awake for his busy night), Gatorade (to restore those lost vitamins and minerals), a milkshake from McDonald’s, and just plain water. Interestingly, no one in all of my years has ever offered to leave me a cup of hot cocoa.
As far as those culinary treats, they have ranged from a Philadelphia hoagie, to French fries, fruit roll-ups, tacos, pizza, fudge, an egg roll, a soft pretzel, gummy bears, fajitas, a sundae, chicken tenders, spaghetti and meatballs, and even fondue.
Then there was a little boy named Hector, who stopped by to see Santa one Saturday in December a few years back. Hector was especially concerned at the physical condition and well-being of Santa. Hector was, needless to say, a weight-conscious six-year-old.
“It was certainly nice to see you today Hector, and remember if you can think of anything else for Christmas, you can always write Santa or even come back and visit him again.”
“Thank you, Santa.”
“Now Hector, are you going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa when he visits your house on Christmas Eve?”
With some concern in his voice Hector responded, “I don’t think so, Santa.”
Curious, Santa asked, “Why?”
Hector then explained his reasoning, “You know Santa, it’s important for a man of your age to watch your weight. So I’m not going to leave you any cookies, but maybe some fruit and some skim milk. What I mean Santa is, you’re fat!”
Aiden was one child who didn’t want to take any chances and he wasn’t about to make any promises of his own involving the milk and cookies until he got some type of guarantee from Santa Claus.
Playing the role of encourager, Santa said, “Now Aiden, you have to continue to be good and always do what your mommy and daddy tell you to do.”
“All right, Santa!” Aiden replied with some hint of sarcasm.
“Do you think you are going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa when he visits your house on Christmas Eve?’
Aiden replied, “I’ll leave the milk and cookies as long as you leave the presents.”
Clearly, we had a future negotiator in the making.
And, let’s not forget Chloe, who also wasn’t about to make any promises either as long as her big brother Christian was around.
“Chloe, I can see that you’ve been a good girl and Santa will certainly do his best to get you what you want for Christmas.”
Chloe responded softly, “Thank you, Santa.”
“Chloe, do you think you will be leaving some milk and cookies for Santa?”
“Sure, Santa, I’ll leave the milk and cookies, but if they’re not there when you get to my house don’t blame me, it wasn’t my fault. Blame my brother, Christian, he’s promised to eat them.”
Then there was Sophia, who was happy to leave Santa some milk and cookies but thought that some mashed potatoes would also go well with Santa’s late-night snack.
One of the more unusual treats that Santa has been offered over the years came from Diana. It must have been my first or second season as Santa Claus when Diana came to visit.
When I finished asking Diana about all of the wonderful toys she wanted for Christmas, I posed the question about Santa’s milk and cookies.
Diana responded by asking Santa if he would prefer some fresh cantaloupe instead.
Brittany asked Santa if he liked Chicken à la King, Vinny preferred to leave pasta e fagioli, and Lila asked if Santa would have time to eat a piece of Boston cream pie when he came to drop off her toys on Christmas Eve. Then there was Sabrina, who wanted to leave a Thai wax apple for Santa. Though I think that might be a better gift for Santa’s reindeer.
That brings us to little Jacob, who was determined not to leave Santa with any milk or cookies during his visit.
Being the inquisitive type of individual that I can be, I asked, “Why not?”
“Because last year when I left them, Tikki ate them all and got sick and threw up the whole next day!”
After some additional questions, Santa found out that Tikki is the family’s German Shepherd dog, and milk and cookies were not part of her diet.
Along the same lines of the traditional request for milk and cookies, Santa often asks children who visit him if they plan on leaving any treats for the reindeer. Yes, let’s not forget those reindeer! They get hungry too, and they work just as hard.
[Note from Santa: However, don’t ask me to name those reindeer. That’s right, I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I’ve played a Santa Claus for over twenty-five seasons and I still don’t know all of the reindeer names. I know there’s that little jingle and of course, the classic Gene Autry song that plays in my head every season, but I just have the toughest time remembering. One day perhaps, I’ll know them all. I just get a little confused after Donner, Blitzen, Comet, and so on …!]
One Friday night four or five seasons ago, when Rachel came to visit, she too expressed some concern about the reindeer and decided that a little roughage was a necessary part of every good reindeer’s diet. In addition, Rachel thought that Santa could use some too. I figured at least it would help keep me regular.
“Remember, Rachel, if you can think of anything else that you would like to tell Santa, you know you can always write him a letter at the North Pole or even come back and visit Santa again.”
“That sounds fine, Santa,” Rachel responded excitedly.
“Rachel, are you going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa when he comes to visit your house and maybe even a carrot or two for Santa’s reindeer?”
“I’ll leave the milk, but how about some spinach for you and the reindeer? It’s not fair that I have to be the only one who has to eat that stuff!”
Charlotte, on the other hand, expressed concern about Santa and his reindeer.
“Santa will do his best to bring you what you want, but remember, you have to do your part and continue being good for your mommy and daddy.”
“All right, Santa, I will,” said Charlotte.
“Are you going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa and possibly a carrot for his reindeer when he comes to visit you on Christmas Eve?”
“Santa, I’m going to leave milk and Oreo cookies for you and some pickles for your reindeer,” replied little Charlotte.
I could only imagine what was going through Marian’s mind when she came to visit Santa one particular day.
“Marian, are you going to leave some milk and cookies for Santa when he comes to visit your house on Christmas Eve and maybe something for my reindeer?”
In a sweet little voice Marian replied, “Sure, Santa, I can do that, but what about some mint chocolate chip ice cream for your reindeer?”
Well, I’ve already told you about Chloe, who wasn’t about to make any promises concerning the likelihood of leaving milk and cookies as long as her big brother, Christian, was around. Then there was Aiden, who was only going to leave the milk and cookies if Santa left the “loot” under the tree. Then there was Jeremy, who too wasn’t about to make any promises.
“Now Jeremy, Santa can tell that you are trying to be a good boy. Therefore, Santa will do his best to get you what you want for Christmas.”
“It’s a deal,” responded the great negotiator.
“Santa is so glad that you were able to stop down here today and visit with him. Are you going to leave some milk and cookies for him when he visits your house on Christmas Eve, and what about a carrot or two for Santa’s reindeer?”
&nb
sp; Jeremy’s response to all of this was simply, “We ain’t got no carrots and I don’t think we’re about to get them anytime soon. And as far as the milk and cookies, I’ll leave them under the chimney, but if you step on them, it’s your own fault.”
Illustration Credit: Grace Neary
This section wouldn’t be complete if we didn’t recount what Carter had to say when Santa asked him that all too innocent question, “Are you going to leave some milk and cookies?”
Carter’s reply to Santa’s question was an unmistakable and unambiguous, “I hate milk, so the answer is no!”
Everything You Wanted to Know about Santa but Were Afraid to Ask
Curiosity is the cornerstone of every child. The need and desire to ask questions about the world around them is embedded in their very nature. Their various levels of curiosity have extended over the years to questions pertaining to every aspect of Santa Claus. Questions have been about my red suit, my white beard, my age, where I live, my large jolly old belly, and my marital status.
One question that seems to arise every few years or so pertains to my reindeer. It goes something like this, “Why doesn’t Santa ever introduce new reindeer to his crew?” The question always seems to make its way to Santa after the annual broadcast of the traditional holiday program, Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. I guess it is fair to say we’ve all seen the movie. The 1964 stop-motion program has become a holiday classic after first appearing as a book published in 1939 for the Montgomery Ward department stores.
In the show, they talk about this Reindeer Training School. It is at this school that we are first introduced to Rudolph along with a collection of young bucks and new recruits hoping to impress Santa Claus enough to make it to “The Show.” Ironically, this is also the place where the other reindeer didn’t want Rudolph to partake in the festivities. The question remains, why have this Reindeer Training School if you aren’t going to introduce any new members into Santa’s crew? It’s the same original eight each and every year. Those eight seem to have a lock on all eight positions and are highly unlikely to give them up.
