Two for Joy

by Louise Collins

“I asked him to let you go.”

  Chad leaned the back of his head on the wall. “And what did he say?”

  “Well, I’m paraphrasing, but simply put it was a no.”

  Romeo stared at the side of Chad’s face, catching the flicker of a smile before he controlled it, forcing it back.

  “He did let you go in the end. You’re free again, and in a messed up kinda way, I thank him for that. For not … going back to prison and stringing you along, or going on the run, keeping you always wondering. He gave you an end to what happened between you, and I think you needed it.”

  “I prefer to think of it as he gave me a new beginning.”

  “Yeah, that works, too.”

  “And for this new beginning, I have to start somewhere new, too.”

  “What?” Zac stepped away from the wall and stood in front of Chad. “What do you mean?”

  “I can’t stay here Zac, not with everything that happened.”

  “Romeo, and Marc—they’re both gone.”

  “My team turned on me. The press turned on me. Everyone that read their stories about my childhood, everyone that found out I’d visited Romeo, turned on me, too. I can’t carry on working or living here. I need to move away, start again.”

  “Where will you go?

  Chad took a deep breath. “Despite the mistakes I made, my questionable choices, my mind being flipped, and twisted, and reshaped to whatever the hell it is now, I still feel like I’m a good person, at least a part of me is.”

  “You are.”

  “And I’m good at catching bad guys, sometimes they catch me though.” Chad laughed and shook his head. “I still want to catch criminals, now more than ever, to right my wrongs, and find some kind of balance. Maybe a kind of justification, the more murderers I catch, the less guilt I’ll feel about everything else.”

  “You have nothing to feel guilty about.”

  “Yes, I do. Trust me, I do. I’m gonna ask for a transfer, a different city, different station and homicide team, providing I pass the psychological evaluation. I need to go somewhere far away.”

  “Everyone in the country knows what happened, you can’t run from it, or escape it.”

  “No, but it’ll be less personal somewhere else. The spotlight on me will drift onto someone else. Another killer will come out of the shadows wreaking havoc, and eventually, people will forget about my past, and what happened to me. I can be … Chad the detective with the dark secret.”

  Zac huffed, then leaned back against the wall. “If that’s what you want, you really truly want, then you should go for it.”

  Chad lifted his arm, then tugged on the hospital tag around his wrist. “First, I gotta break out of here.”

  “Don’t talk about breakouts. Did you hear there was another attempt at Romeo’s prison?”

  “What happened?”

  “Some convict pretended he had meningitis, even pricked his body with a needle for it to look like a rash, the final stage. They were extra cautious after Romeo’s escape, and he didn’t even make it out of the prison hospital.”

  Romeo snorted. A part of him, the smallest possible part, felt bad for Will.

  “Faking a medical emergency to get to the MRI scanner, it’s clever.”

  Romeo smiled at the compliment.

  “I’m not supposed to say it, but I’m glad he got out.”

  “Me, too.”

  “And I’m glad he’s gone.”

  Chad didn’t reply.

  “It’s gonna suck without you. You’re the only detective I don’t think is a total dick.”

  “Thanks, Zac, that means a lot.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Romeo stared at Gareth’s car, parked the opposite side of the road, on the curb. He’d rushed inside the hospital with Zac and had been in there for twenty minutes. He knew something bad hadn’t happened, they’d both looked pleased when they left the car, but Romeo hated having to wait to find out what was going on. He caught movement out of the corner of his eye, and saw Gareth and Zac making their way back to the car. Zac had a rucksack on his back, and Gareth twirled the car key on his finger. Chad walked behind them and dropped his hospital tag into a bin.

  He didn’t make eye contact with Romeo, but walked towards him, even though the other two had already crossed over to the car.

  “I still think you should stay at mine … just for a few days.” Gareth said.

  Zac nodded. “Or mine.”

  “Seriously guys, thanks, but I just want to get back to my place.”

  “I could ask the DI to put someone outside your apartment, or drive by a few times, check everything’s okay.”

  Chad snorted. “What? Why?”

  “Just in case…”

  “He’s dead Gareth, gone. And even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t hang around here, would he?”

  “He might come after you, kill you—”

  “He had the perfect opportunity to do it, and he didn’t. He’s gone Gareth. It’s over.”

  Chad reached down and put a few bills on Romeo’s cardboard sign. He crossed the road, Zac climbed into the back of the car, giving up the passenger seat to Chad.

  “Jesus, Chad, how much did you give that guy?”

  “Enough for him to start that second chance he’s on about.”

  Gareth shook his head and climbed into the car. Chad stared over the top, finally looking at Romeo, then gave him a bright smile.

  Romeo watched them drive away, then picked up the bills Chad had left him. Underneath, hidden from view, was a torn-out piece of newspaper. A crossword that Chad had filled in with an address, a time, and an instruction. Romeo read it a few times before he had everything in the right order, then he grinned.

  Red Inn hotel, Swaffon, room twelve, 9:00 PM, window. He counted the money.

  Chad had given him plenty for a taxi to get there.

  Clever magpie.

  ****

  Romeo had spent his life reading people and learning from them how he was supposed to react. He watched his mother open gifts from his father at Christmas and on her birthday, learned the wide-eyed awed look worked wonders. He found the happy medium between reacting too much and not enough, and each Christmas and birthday he put his behavior into practice. His parents always bought his amazement, surprise, happiness. He could fake it easily with his expression and voice.

  Crouching outside the hotel window, heart thumping in his chest, and breathlessness making him dizzy, he didn’t need to fake his reactions. This is what other people felt like when they were about to get something they really wanted. It was horrible, and exciting at the same time.

  The curtains were drawn, and he couldn’t see any light peeking through the gaps. Chad had told him 9:00, but he’d didn’t have a watch, and had to guess. He’d crouched behind a bush for what felt like at least an hour, bubbling over with anticipation.

  The hotel was budget, twenty miles from the city. The paint flaked off the windowsills, there were cracks in the walls, and one of the glass doors to reception had been boarded up. No cameras, hardly any people, and only a few cars dotted around in the parking lot.

  Romeo had been careful in the taxi not to give the driver a glimpse of his face. The driver had almost refused him, but when he flashed the cash, his grimace morphed into a smile, and he welcomed Romeo into the back of his car. He kept his sleeping bag close to his face and asked for the radio to be turned up to avoid awkward conversation.

  Light appeared around the edges of the curtain, Romeo straightened, willing them to open, willing Chad to be there. He got to his feet, drawn to the room, and when the curtains were yanked open, Chad leapt back in shock, tripping over the bed.

  Romeo laughed, he couldn’t have been a pretty sight, knew Chad leaping out of his skin must’ve been justified, but him sprawled out on the floor was definitely amusing.

  Chad unhooked the latch on the window, Romeo checked behind him to make sure no one was looking, then climbed into the room.

  C
had had the same shy smile, the same unsure mannerisms, and twitchiness he had when visiting the prison.

  The same weird excitement filled them both, ending in averted gazes, and soft laughs. Romeo broke the odd stalemate, pulling Chad into a firm hug.

  Chad pressed against him, and Romeo smiled when he felt Chad’s heart beating as frantically as his own. He relaxed into Chad, and Chad relaxed into him until a pleased sigh brushed Romeo’s neck.

  “Thank you.” Chad mumbled.

  “For what?”

  “Breaking out of prison, working out where I was, and for killing…”

  “Go on.”

  “And for killing Marc. Everyone else turned their back on me. You did the impossible and saved me.”

  “Only just, and I think it was mutual. Marc almost got the better of me.”

  “I saw him stab you, and I just…” Chad shook his head. “I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I don’t want my life without you.”

  “We’re both still here.”

  “It was all so fast, and hazy, and afterwards I didn’t really get a chance to thank you, to talk to you.”

  Romeo snorted. “No, your mind seemed to be somewhere else, or should I say your blood seemed to flow somewhere else…”

  “I don’t know what that was, my head was spinning, I needed…”

  “You don’t have to explain.”

  “Good, because I don’t think I can.”

  “I’m sorry I left you behind.”

  “That … hurt.”

  “If it’s any consolation, it hurt me, too.”

  “Where—where do we go from here?”

  “I mean the room’s hideous, but the bed looks acceptable.”

  Chad snorted. “I meant, after … the bed.”

  “Whatever you decide.”

  Chad wriggled out of Romeo’s grip and looked at him. “What does that mean?”

  “I’ll do what’s best for you. If you want me to come out of the shadows, get arrested, and go back inside, I will.”

  “No.” Chad said, shaking his head. “No way.”

  “Then tell me, Chad. I waited for you, now what is it you want to do next?”

  His eyebrows drew together in thought, then he lifted his head.

  “First, I want to sue the Canster Times for all they’ve got for the articles they wrote on me.”

  A prang of something like guilt twisted Romeo’s stomach, but he didn’t admit to anything. “Good idea.”

  “And then I’m going to apply for a detective job in Poole … far away from here.”

  “Also good.”

  “I’ll get a house, set back from the road, away from other houses.”

  “Like a farmhouse?”

  “Yeah, maybe. And … I want you to be there.”

  Romeo smiled. “Yeah?”

  “I know being shut away in a farmhouse isn’t much difference to being locked up—

  “You’re kidding right? This room we’re in now is four times the size of my cell. I was allowed one hour outside and had no entertainment. The only thing keeping me going was your visits.”

  “Still, keeping you in a house, like you’re a pet … like a dog.”

  Romeo snorted. “It will do for now. Besides, I’m sure Poole has a homeless population, and businessmen, and farmers, and whatever other disguises I can come up with.”

  Chad swallowed loudly. “And no more … killing?”

  “I completed what I set out to, got my allowance of five.”

  “But urges … desires, compulsions, whatever it is, they don’t just go away.”

  “I’ve kept my need at bay for most of my life, I can do it again.”

  Chad didn’t look convinced, and Romeo sighed. “I could ask you the same question.”

  “What?”

  “The urges, desires, compulsions of a detective, of being a good guy. How can they go away? How can you put aside who I am?”

  “You’re the exception.”

  “I’m Chad’s exception so the detective turns a blind eye.”

  “It’s strange when you talk like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like I’m two different people.”

  “That’s how you think of me, isn’t it?”

  “Kind of.”

  “I’m the monster and part of me wants to … kill,” Romeo said slowly, waiting for Chad to react. He didn’t even blink, and Romeo smiled, before continuing. “And Romeo who wants to keep you alive.”

  “And I’m the detective, part of me wants to detain you, and Chad who can’t—no, won’t live without you.”

  “We’re all broken pieces, jagged, sharp, uneven, but somehow the four of us fit together.”

  “Jagged, sharp, uneven, you missed out smelly.”

  Romeo narrowed his eyes. “Is that you trying to be funny again?”

  “I’m speaking the truth. I’ve got clothes, food, water, painkillers. I didn’t know what you needed.”

  “Just you.”

  Romeo smiled, then leaned into kiss him, but Chad avoided his mouth, and instead turned, tugging on Romeo’s hand. “In here.”

  He let Chad lead him into the bathroom and glanced at the rucksack Chad had bought with him. “And toothpaste, shower gel, razor, deodorant—

  “Are you saying you don’t want me like this?”

  Chad gave him a coy smile. “I thought you’d appreciate it. It can’t have been easy sleeping outside the hospital.”

  Romeo shrugged. “I wanted to be close. I wanted you to know I hadn’t abandoned you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Romeo nodded, then tugged open Chad’s rucksack. The first thing he saw was a toothbrush, and a tube of toothpaste, and he grabbed both with eagerness, then rushed to the sink. He moaned as he brushed, eyes spinning in their sockets. Once wasn’t enough. He scrubbed his teeth and tongue until each time he breathed, he felt the minty freshness in his nostrils and throat. The mint was so fierce his eyes watered, and his nose twitched.

  “Feel good?”

  “Yeah. Especially when I know you’ll let me kiss you now.”

  “Not quite.”

  Romeo did a double take when he caught himself in the mirror. “Whoa…”

  His stylish stubble had grown. His hair was a few inches longer than he preferred it. His cheek looked sunken, and his eyelid hung looser, and the scar was deeply etched into his skin. He looked awful, and Chad standing beside him, with his clear skin, his fresh haircut, and his clean white shirt, mocked him.

  “Now who’s the handsome one?”

  Chad stopped laying out the toiletries on the side. “You’re still handsome.”

  Romeo gestured to his face. “Really?”

  “How did you describe me once? Perfectly imperfect.”

  “So you’re calling me imperfect then.”

  Chad rolled his eyes. “Come on, I know the shower looks rusty, but I’m hoping it’ll at least have hot water.”

  “A hot shower.” Romeo groaned. “Sounds too good to be true.”

  Chad rolled up his sleeve then twisted the dial. He kept his hand under the spray, frowning in concentration, then his look softened, and he smiled.

  “Ready for you.”

  “Are you that eager to see me naked?”

  “Get in the shower.”

  Romeo smirked, then undressed. His filthy clothes hit the floor with a dull thud. Chad handed over the shampoo, and shower gel, and Romeo went about scrubbing his body clean. It wasn’t the most powerful of sprays, but it stripped the dirt and grime from Romeo’s flesh. He used Chad’s shampoo and shower gel till the bottles were both near enough empty, and he reeked of Chad. He moaned when he scrubbed his hair, feeling the grease lift straight off it. His scalp tingled, and he combed his hair back with his fingers, satisfied it was clean.

  Chad leaned against the wall of the bathroom, watching Romeo soap himself up. His eyes were blown with lust, but he didn’t come any closer. Even when Romeo extended his hand, Chad di
dn’t approach the shower. He blinked out of his thoughts, then pointed at the door. “I’ll go and—”

  “No. You’re gonna take off your clothes and join me.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Romeo leaned out of the spray. “Why not?”

  “What he did to me…”

  “Come here.”

  Chad shook his head.

  “I said come here.”

  Romeo curled his finger, encouraging Chad close. He took a step, then froze. His face scrunched, he didn’t look at Romeo, but turned and fled out of the door. Romeo flared his nostrils, leaving the shower. He didn’t bother turning it off, or drying himself, he marched straight out of the bathroom, a man on a mission.

  “Romeo—”

  “Off.”

  “What?”

  He shook his head, flinging droplets everywhere. “Take it off.”

  Chad looked down at his shirt buttons, but made no move to undo them.

  “Fine. I’ll take them off then.”

  Romeo made quick work of the buttons, but when he slipped the shirt from Chad’s shoulders, he had to pause, and take in Chad’s torso.

  He’d seen what Marc had done to him, the smears, the lines where the blood had run and darkened, but somehow it was more shocking without the blood, seeing only neat numbers cut, and carved into Chad’s pale flesh. They stood out, demanding Romeo’s attention.

  “See,” Chad said, fighting to get his shirt back on.

  “Wait, wait, wait.”

  “Even you can’t stand them.”

  “Stop.” Romeo said, taking a two-handed grip of Chad’s shirt. Chad was struggling, trying to back away. “Don’t…”

  He gave up the fight, and let Romeo take the shirt off completely. Some of the wounds were still bandaged, the numbers Marc had cut out, rather than just cut.

  A whole confused mass of emotions spun in Romeo’s mind, he had trouble deciphering them all, had no idea how normal people coped when they were faced with complicated situations. The longer he took to say something reassuring, the more Chad drooped forward, and hugged his arms around his body.

  He cupped Chad’s face and lifted him until their eyes met. “You know I love you, right?”

  Chad widened his eyes. “What?”

  “I don’t really know what it is, but I feel it’s the appropriate word to sum up how I feel about you. One simplistic word for something that’s immeasurably complex.”