Only You

by Bishop, K. M.

  The darkness crowded around me instantly. I felt sick and nauseous. The lights of the day were growing dim and I could hear a heap of voices around me, but I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what they were all saying. It sounded almost like a foreign language I did not understand. And they all sounded foggy, as if they were at the bottom of a long barrel that I could barely hear them.

  My whole body felt wrecked. I knew I’d been hit hard and that I should have been worried. Who in their right mind would hit someone that hard in practice? I was their teammate? It had to be an accident of some sort. I didn’t have any enemies that I was aware of. What in the hell?

  I tried to move, but the darkness was too much to bear. I couldn’t move. I could not see or even think rationally. I felt sick all over. My body was aching and there was an odd pain in my head. Again, I tried to move, but the world around me spun inside of the darkness, as if there were little flecks of light around me that coagulated together. This was not right. This was not natural. Something was wrong. How hurt was I?

  The fear began to overcome me along with the darkness as everything went silent.

  When I opened my eyes, I was no longer on the field. I was in a room off to the side of the locker room. It was a small room with a cot, which I was lying on. The light above me was bright, but basically darkness beyond its scope. It was eerie to say the least. But I felt calm for some reason. That was when I noticed Maria standing there beside me. She was leaning over me, checking into my eyes, her soft fingers raising my lids and peering into me.

  I could hear nothing else in the room but her soft, gentle breathing. And I could not take my gaze from hers. She was there above me, leaning over, and I could not stop the idea that if I just gazed downwards a little bit, I would be staring into her amazing cleavage from the buttoned-up blouse she was wearing. She was dressed more casually today than she had been the first time I met her, and she somehow looked even more beautiful.

  “Hey, there,” she said. Her voice was soft and kind. “Welcome back, stranger.”

  I tried to smile as she released my eyelid, but it felt like the smile came out way wrong. My head was throbbing and I felt a bit woozy all over still, like I’d been hit by a truck.

  “What happened?” I asked.

  “Do you not remember the play?” She asked me.

  I thought a moment and it all flooded back to me. “Yeah, I do. But how did I get from the field to here? I closed my eyes for a second.”

  “No, you’ve been out about ten minutes. They put you on a stretcher and we brought you in here.”

  “Ah, geez,” I said. “So, what’s the verdict?”

  “Well, I would say you have a mild concussion, but I want to run a few tests with you first. Can you sit up?” She asked.

  “Yeah,” I replied.

  I loved the sound of her soft, caring voice. It was not cold and professional sounding like I was used to with our previous doc, or most of the doctors I’d been to in my regular life. Maria seemed nurturing, as if she really cared about my well-being. It was sweet and comforting.

  “Great,” she said. “Can you sit up for me?”

  I sat up with a bit of a struggle. My head felt like it might fall off my body at any second, but I didn’t let on. I felt like I had to act tough for some reason. It even sounded silly to me, but I’d already committed myself to it. I couldn’t let this perfect woman see me being weak. I was already embarrassed that I’d actually passed out. What the hell? Really smooth, Jacob.

  “Ok, I’m going to shine a light in your eyes,” she said. She held up a small flashlight. “Just stare straight ahead.”

  I did as she instructed as she shone the light in my left eye for a second and then away. Then she repeated this again with the left eye before moving on to the right eye.

  “Ok,” she said. “That looks fine.” She put the light away. “Now keeping your eyes focused on my nose I want you to tell me when you see me wiggling my finger in your peripheral and point to which side you see it on.”

  “Ok.”

  I focused my gaze on her perfect nose. She held up her hands to the side and then wiggled a finger on her left hand. I pointed to it. She smiled and repeated the process with her other hand, often doing the same hand and then even both at times to try to trick me.

  “Good,” she said.

  “Alright. I’m good at this game,” I replied.

  She laughed. “So far, but the big ones are coming up.”

  “Uh, oh,” I teased. “I might be in trouble now.”

  She was enjoying my playful banter. Good. I felt so comfortable with her. She was truly the most beautiful woman I’d ever met and now that I was here with her I felt totally at ease, as if everything between us just clicked effortlessly. It was almost like we were supposed to find each other right then. I tried to put the brakes on those feelings and not allow the hopeless romantic in me to pull something out of nothing and build it up in my mind.

  “I want you to touch your right index finger to mine as I move it to different locations in your field of vision. After you touch my finger touch your nose before touching my finger again.” Maria said. “OK?”

  I nodded. “Sure.”

  She held her finger up to the right, then to the left, and then low, and then high, the middle and to the far-left corner. I touched the finger to her finger and then to the tip of my nose.

  “Good. Now, if you would puff out your cheeks, and as I push in on them try to resist it.”

  I followed her directions.

  “Fantastic,” she replied. Next, she grabbed a tendon hammer. I found the shape of it interesting, and my mind couldn’t help but wander to some naughty places as she fingered the instrument in her soft, delicate fingers. I wished badly that she was fingering my instrument right then. I needed it. I needed her.

  “Good,” I replied. “I told you I was good at this.”

  “Alright, now I’m going to tap on your chin. I just want you to let your lower jaw hang in a relaxed manner.”

  I did as she requested. Maria placed her thumb on the cleft of my chin and then tapped her thumb gently three times, pausing between each one for a couple of beats as she watched my body’s reaction. It felt odd, but good. This whole process was a bit fascinating.

  “Ok, now I’m going to quickly test your hearing,” she replied. “I’m basically going to whisper a few words into your ears. Just repeat back to me the word that you hear.”

  “Sure. Sounds simple.”

  Maria leaned in close to me then. Her sweet mouth was right beside my left ear. I felt the hair standing up on my body all over. And my member was now rock hard. I wanted to adjust myself, but I couldn’t then. I had to fight the urge to wrap my arms around her soft body and just ravage her right then and there. Oh, I wanted her so badly. It was almost painful to deny myself this illicit urge.

  I could feel her breathing softly on me. It sent shivers and tingles up and down my spine.

  “Ok,” she whispered. “Here is the first word. Iceberg.”

  What a random word. I repeated it.

  “Football.”

  I repeated it again. Each time she whispered I had to close my eyes and absorb the jolt of lust I received from my loins spreading throughout the entirety of my being. Wow, what was this woman doing to me?”

  Her soft voice was just a whisper into my ear. It was so soft, so gentle, and so loving.

  “Daybreak.”

  I repeated it softly back to her. This was a very intimate moment. Wow…

  “OK, good job,” Maria said. “Now we will do the other ear.”

  She repeated the process with my right ear, whispering these sweet words like “Cantaloupe”, “Butterfly”, “Raincoat”, and “Sports Medicine” into my ear.

  Afterwards she made a few notes on her chart.

  “So, will I live?” I asked.

  She laughed. “Yeah, I think so. But you probably have a minor concussion. So, we need to have you go to the hospital j
ust to be sure.”

  “What? I feel ok, other than the headache.”

  “Well, normally I wouldn’t worry about it, but you did blackout for a bit of time. That isn’t good. Your brain could have more injury to it than what is readily apparent. You need an MRI to rule out anything more serious.”

  “Damn,” I said. “Well, will you go with me?”

  She seemed surprised by the question. I was, too. I didn’t need a chaperone to the doctor, although I wasn’t sure I should walk or drive to the hospital, but I wanted Maria to come with me. I really did not want our time together to end.

  “Excuse me?” She asked.

  “Well, it might be helpful for me. I might not understand all that medical jargon they would probably throw at me. And I’d appreciate it.”

  She considered it and then nodded. “Sure. I’d be happy to go with you.”

  “Thanks.”

  I was happy as could be about this. Hell, I was almost excited to go to the hospital since it now meant I would get to spend more time with Maria.

  I could feel that this was moving into some territory I should not be exploring, but I just couldn’t help myself.

  Chapter Six

  Maria

  Why was I doing this? I knew it was a mistake from the get go, but I wasn’t thinking straight. I couldn’t help it. I felt something so strongly for this man. Jacob… he was perfect. The moment I saw him lying unconscious on the gurney when they brought him in, my heart caught in my chest and I felt like I was going to faint for a moment. I’d never spoken to him before, but I could feel a closeness to him ever since that awkward moment when I’d first met him, first seen into his beautiful gaze. And now, here he was lying on a cot in the exam room. I was elated when he finally regained consciousness.

  The way he looked at me when he saw me made my heart palpate a few beats and then it was like it stopped altogether for a minute. I could hardly breathe. I wanted to hold him, comfort him, and let him know that I was there for him no matter what. But I had to shake those feelings and stay as professional as I possibly could.

  I went into the cranial nerve examination and was more or less satisfied by the results of it. I still wanted Jacob to get checked out in a hospital setting. An MRI was a must. He took a nasty hit and he had lost consciousness. That was a good indicator he definitely had at least a minor concussion.

  During the exam, I could feel that connection, that tension between the two of us rising up in the air. But it did not feel awkward. Actually, it felt very comfortable, as if we were meant to be intimate. I knew I had to be careful and I kept reminding myself about this. It was such a struggle to keep my feelings in check and put out there that air of professionalism that was required for me in this position, but I couldn’t stand the idea of losing my career over not being able to keep my feelings in check. I could do this.

  But then Jacob asked me to go to the hospital with him. It had caught me off guard and for a moment I pondered whether or not it was actually appropriate, but after some deliberation and looking into his eyes, I couldn’t see a single reason why I shouldn’t have accompanied him.

  So, I escorted him to my car and drove him in to get examined. They took an MRI and then led us to a private exam room to await the results. I expected there to be some awkward silences between us, but there were none. The conversation flowed easily and fun with us. Jacob was sweet and funny. He had a healthy love of life and I could see the zest oozing out of his body.

  “So, how did you end up a doctor?” Jacob asked.

  “How do you think most people end up doctors?” I teased. “I found a card on the street. I called this guy and when I went to his house they were giving out medical degrees for super cheap. It was just one of those things, you know?”

  Jacob rolled his eyes. “I meant, you seem like an athlete to me. I am usually pretty sharp about seeing who is an athlete and who isn’t just by looking at them. I can tell you have that air about you--that build.”

  I smiled. “You see a lot. Yeah, I was actually a softball player. I also played some soccer.”

  “But you didn’t try to pursue it at the professional level?”

  “I could have, but I didn’t. I just felt my heart calling me to medicine. I’ve always loved it and it combined perfectly with my love of sports. So, here I am.”

  He nodded. “That’s interesting. What else do you like?”

  The question sounded probably more flirtatious than he meant it to, but he didn’t blush at all. I locked eyes with him and I couldn’t help the wide, blushing grin that spread across my lips as I did so. Wow, he had me pegged.

  “I have a few different interests,” I said. I decided to keep him guessing. Besides, I needed to keep this professional and not let it go into friend territory.

  “Well, that’s very vague,” he said. “Care to elaborate a bit?”

  “I don’t. I’m not sure it would be appropriate.”

  “What? We can’t be friends? Get to know each other a bit?”

  “To a certain extent, yes. But there has to be a line drawn.”

  Jacob got serious for a moment. “I see… but I’m not so sure it has to be that rigid. I think that as long as we work together in this capacity it would make your services more effective if we all build up a friendly relationship with you.”

  “Did you have a friendly relationship with your last coach?”

  “Sure,” he said. “He was a great guy. A bit old fashioned maybe, but he was hilarious. We used to joke around quite a bit.”

  “I see.”

  “Why should it be different with you?” Jacob asked.

  “I’m not sure, but it is,” I said. I knew what he was getting at.

  “Is it because you are a beautiful woman?” Jacob asked.

  I let the question hang in the air. He’d just called me beautiful. Wow… he thought I was beautiful? I wasn’t sure how he felt about me until right then, but now that I knew it made everything so much harder. I sighed and closed my eyes.

  “That might be that line we were referring to,” I said with a smile.

  Jacob shrugged. “I don’t think that applies to you and me.”

  “Why wouldn’t it?” I asked. I was genuinely interested in what he was going to say.

  “Can you honestly say that you don’t feel it?” Jacob asked.

  I couldn’t believe he was going there that fast. But he was. Wow, he was so bold. It was a huge turn on. I was tempted to leave, but my legs felt so wobbly that I wasn’t sure they would have actually worked if I’d commanded them to. This was really happening.

  “I told you before—I told everybody—there can be nothing unprofessional between us. That is all. Don’t go there.”

  I tried to keep my voice stern, but he could hear the shakiness in it. I could hear it loudly. It was so obvious.

  “I know what you said,” Jacob replied. “But are you going to deny that there isn’t something more? You never actually answered me.”

  I was feeling hot. I was embarrassed. I was put on the spot and I felt like my whole world around me was caving in. It was an almost claustrophobic experience. I tried to close my eyes and flush those feelings away. But it wasn’t happening.

  “This can’t happen. It just can’t. I need you to understand that. If not then I’m leaving and there isn’t anything else I can do for you today.”

  Jacob nodded. He smiled slightly as if he was trying to test whether or not he should push his luck.

  “Ok,” he said. “That’s a cold way to look at things. But denying something isn’t ever going to make it go away.”

  The doctor came in right then. He basically confirmed my diagnosis. Jacob had a mild concussion. “You need to rest for ten days. If you take it easy during that time, I don’t see why you won’t make a full recovery and be back on the field in no time.”

  Jacob groaned. “A week and a half is hardly no time. We have a big game coming up. Isn’t there any other way?”

  The do
ctor shook his head. “I’m afraid not. This can be a serious injury. You need to rest and recuperate.”

  Jacob sighed. I could see it was a crushing blow to him and I tried to empathize. It was hard to take for any athlete to think that they might be out for a while. I knew what was at stake if he didn’t get as much playing time as he possibly could.

  The doctor left and I walked with Jacob back to the car. He was still walking a bit slowly, as I imagined his brain still felt a bit fuzzier than he was willing to let on. He was a tough guy, but sometimes being tough could be a bit of a downfall. When a player was injured, they had to be put in their place and forced to recognize that they were human and they needed to just relax and recover from their injuries.

  “Dammit,” Jacob said when we were in the car. “I can’t miss a week. This game is important. The pro scouts are watching me. They need to see me in action as much as possible.”

  “I know how frustrating this can be. Honestly, that is one of the reasons I decided not to try to pursue a career in professional sports. I wasn’t sure I could handle the real prospect of being injured and having my dreams go up in smoke. Be glad this is a minor injury. You will only miss one game. I’ve seen far worse things happen to players.”

  “I know,” he said. “So, have I. I realize that it could be so much worse, but it’s still hard. I appreciate you being there with me, though. Thanks.”

  “Of course,” I replied.

  “So, I still think you should have gone into pro sports. You are you young. You could have done the medicine thing later, right?”

  “Well, depending. After several concussions, that might not have been possible.”

  “What happened? You must have had a close call or two.”

  I was silent for a moment. I did. I hadn’t spoken to too many people about it though.

  “Yeah.”

  There was silence for several seconds. Jacob licked his lips. “Well? What happened?”

  I sighed. “During my senior year, I was playing soccer. I was the goalie. I dover for a shot to block it and my head collided with the post of the goal. I was out for a half hour with a severe concussion. It was awful. I felt like I was in a daze for several weeks. After that, I realized that if something like that happened to me on a professional level, then I might never really recover from it. After it had already happened once, it might have given me severe damage if something similar ever did occur again. I… I don’t know… I allowed it to spook me. After that I became more determined than ever to get into medical school.”