Finding the Green Room (The Sutter Family Book 3)

by Heather D'Agostino

  It was a breezy day, so I decided to leave the slider open while I unpacked. I tossed dirty clothes into my hamper as I grabbed a few hangers to hang up my dresses. I didn’t have anything going on until late next week other than practicing and training. I’d almost mastered the aerial that Phillip had been harassing me about. If I put in a few more days work on it, I knew I’d have it down for next week.

  I’d forgotten to call to my parents when I landed, so I grabbed my phone when I’d finished unpacking, and went back to the balcony. I realized when I sat down, that I’d never taken it off airplane mode. When I switched it over, it began pinging with messages. There was one from my parents telling me how happy they were that I came home, one from Drew, and then about five from an unknown number. My parents and Drew were the only ones to leave a voicemail, and I assumed the unknown caller had just given up. I got calls all the time from people trying to get a quote for an article, or wanting to have me endorse something. I usually referred them to Phillip, but this time it felt weird. It was a Wilmington number and my stomach clenched as possibility began to rear its ugly head. He didn’t have my number, he didn’t know where I lived. Malibu wasn’t a small area. It’s not like you could show up at a store or someone’s house and ask them if they knew where I lived. This was the one place where I could relax and not worry about anything.

  I took a few deep breaths to calm myself before giving my parents a quick call to let them know I landed. It was dinner time in NC, so I was able to get off the phone fast. Despite telling myself I was going to veg, I changed into some shorts, grabbed a towel, and made my way to the beach. I wasn’t planning to swim, but sitting in the sand enjoying the weather seemed like just what I needed.

  When I got down to the beach, I spread out my towel and sat down. I’d brought a book to read, but decided to people watch for a little bit. Malibu was much more crowded than the beach in front of my parents’ house. I slipped my sunglasses on and began scanned the crowds. There were some kids down by the water playing on a boogie board, a few couples splashing in the shallow surf, and an older couple farther down just sitting in some sand chairs holding hands.

  I decided to concentrate on the kids since they reminded me of myself. When I learned to surf, the first time I tried to stand on a boogie board. I fell face first onto the sand. My brothers had been telling me I was too little, but I was determined. After I pulled that stunt, they decided to teach me.

  The group of kids was made up of two boys and a girl. The girl was a tiny little thing. She couldn’t have been more than maybe five. The boys were much taller, and kept teasing her by holding her board out of reach. I watched as a woman came over, and said something to them. I’m guessing it was their mother because shortly after, the boys began helping the little girl. I was mesmerized by them, and stayed on the beach until late afternoon watching them.

  When I finally decided to go in, the sun was setting and my stomach was growling as it reminded me that it was on NC time and it was way past dinner time there. I grabbed my things and made way back to my apartment as I placed an online order for pizza from my phone.

  Once I was back at my place, I tossed my things on a chair in my living room, and decided to grab a quick shower while I waited for the pizza to arrive. I wanted to wash the travel grime off, and just do something to help relax me. I knew I’d end up falling asleep early tonight since I was four hours behind the time, and I wanted to sleep better.

  The shower felt heavenly as I stood under the spray, and let the warm water slide down my body. I made quick work with the soap, and wrapped myself in my terry robe when I stepped out. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere else tonight, so I slipped into a pair of cotton sleep shorts, and a cami. I pulled my hair up into a knot on top of my head before rubbing some lotion on my arms and legs. Just as I was checking the time, I heard a knock. It was a little early for the pizza guy, but it wasn’t unheard of.

  I grabbed the twenty I’d left on the kitchen counter before going to the door and swinging it open, only I wasn’t met by the pizza guy. There standing in my doorway was the last person I expected to see… Ryan Sutter.

  Chapter 12

  Ryan

  “Hey.” I offered a smile as she stood there with her mouth opening and closing while she stared at me. God she looked beautiful. Jess was always pretty, but she knew how to pull off the ‘no makeup’ look perfectly.

  Her arms crossed over her chest, causing her breasts to rise, “What are you doing here, Ry?”

  Just hearing her call me Ry was enough to make me do anything, “I came to see you.”

  “I can see that. Why?” Her brows furrowed as she shifted her weight between her feet.

  “Can I come in?” I leaned forward to try and peer into her apartment. It took me forever to get to the place, and I was exhausted. It was close to midnight back home now.

  “No.” She reached for the door and attempted to close it in my face. “You need to leave.”

  “Jess,” I flung my arm out to stop her, “I just want to talk. I came all this way. Please?” I watched her face change as the emotions she was trying to hide flitted across it. She looked as if she were battling between anger and sadness. I didn’t know which one I wanted to win, but I knew I needed to get her to let me inside. “I think this is yours by the way.” I held out a pizza. I’d passed the guy in the lobby as he was trying to get buzzed up to her apartment. I’d given him a huge tip to let me take it for him. When he saw the twenty extra, I knew I’d won.

  “You stole my pizza,” she growled. “Give it back.”

  “Let me in, and I will.” I smiled. I’d won. Jess loved her pizza and even if she didn’t want to give in to me, she would in order to get it back.

  I watched as she stepped back and opened the door wider. I smiled triumphantly as I stepped over the threshold and handed her the box. “I don’t know why you’re grinning like that. You’re not staying.” She all but growled at me as she stormed into the kitchen.

  I stood in her living room looking around as I took in her place. It was small, but it was Jess. She had a lot of beige tones, and it had a beachy feel. A tan couch with a single chair was it other than a small table. A flat screen was mounted on the wall, and there were a few pictures of her family. I could hear her in the kitchen slamming cabinets as she grabbed dishes for the pizza. “You don’t have to take your anger out on the furniture, you know?” I called out.

  “What do you want Ryan?” she yelled.

  “I told you.” I grinned as I wandered over to the slider, and stepped outside. The sun had set about an hour ago, and the night sky looked beautiful. I could hear the ocean in the distance, and the nightlife was starting up. I could see why she stayed here. If I lived in an area like this, I’d love it too.

  “Well, you found me.” She rounded the corner with two plates in her hands. “You know where I live. Why are you here?” She set the plates down and went back into the kitchen again before returning with two bottled waters.

  “I just wanna talk.” I sighed as I came back in, leaving the slider open. “Can we do that? Talk?”

  She stood there staring at me like I’d grown an extra head or something. “I wanted to talk three years ago, and you wouldn’t let me. You screamed at me to leave, Ry. What’s changed?”

  “I have.” I shrugged. “Three years away from you will do that.”

  She shuffled past me and grabbed a slice of pizza before taking the far end of the couch. “You gonna eat?” she muttered. “I know you’re hungry.”

  I was starving, but I didn’t want to tell her that. I set my bag down before grabbing the other plate and a piece of my own. After lowering myself onto the couch, I took a giant bite and sighed. It tasted so good, and it had been hours since I had real food. Those snacks they give you on planes now are a joke.

  We sat in silence for what felt like hours as we ate. Jess refused to look at me, but I felt grateful that she hadn’t kicked me out. I wasn’t going to push it. My boss
gave me enough time off that I could stay for six days. I had six days to fix this.

  I swallowed the last bite of the piece I was holding before I started talking. I wanted her to hear me out, but there was so much to tell her. “Brinley and I were never together,” I began and saw her stiffen as the words hit her. “I was hurt when you left, Jess. We always said we’d go together, and it hurt that you made it and I didn’t. I was a selfish ass, and I used my hurt as a weapon against you. I meant what I said that day. I did love you.” I glanced in her direction in time to see her pull her legs up. She wrapped her arms around them and dropped her chin, effectively hiding her face. “All those times you succeeded over the years made me feel like a failure. You were doing what I wanted, and you had a whole team that was behind you. I felt like you didn’t want me anymore; like I was yesterday’s news, and you were on to better things.”

  Her shoulders shook as she sniffed before looking up at me, “So I’m supposed to fail to make you feel better?”

  “No, but back then I wanted you to. I wanted the world to see that I was just as good and they’d made a mistake taking you over me. I was jealous, Jess. I was so jealous that I was willing to do anything to hurt you, including bring Brinley to the wedding.” I sighed as I watched her shoulders shake harder. I could hear her crying, and when she looked up at me with tear stained cheeks, it was confirmed. “I knew you’d be there. I knew seeing us together would hurt you. I knew that even though you’d moved on and didn’t want me anymore, that Brinley being with me would anger you. I knew how much you hated her, and I was relying on that hate to make me feel better. I loved you so much.”

  She sniffed as she wiped her eyes and sighed. “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t have done those things.”

  “Yes, yes I would have. Don’t you get it? I still love you. I love you so fucking much that it’s killing me to be here and not be holding you. All I want to do right now is hold you, but I’m afraid. I’m afraid to let you back in and risk you running again.”

  “I didn’t run, Ryan. I followed my dreams. You knew I was here. You knew why I came here, and I thought after talking on the beach that you’d see that I didn’t do anything wrong,” she grit the words out. “I’m happy here. I’m not going back to Wilmington.”

  “I’m not asking you to. I’m here to see if I can fix this, and if I can, we’ll go from there.” I inched closer, but watched her recoil. “I wanna try and fix whatever is between us.”

  “Was,” she clarified. “You wanna fix what was between us, there’s nothing there now.”

  We sat there in silence for a few moments as we stared at each other. I knew what she meant, and I knew it was a long shot coming here. I’d been a complete asshole to her, and now I’ve practically blindsided her by just showing up at her door. I nodded as I pressed my lips together. “Fine. I deserve that. I’m sorry I just showed up. I’ll leave now, and let you do whatever it is you were planning to do tonight.” I stood and slowly made my way to her door, all the while giving her plenty of time to stop me, but she didn’t. She stayed rooted in place on the couch, not even glancing my way. “I’m sorry,” I opened the door. “I’ll always love you Jess, that will never change.” I stepped into the hallway and closed the door behind me. I waited a few moments as I envisioned her bursting through the door, begging me to stop, but she didn’t. I could hear though. Soft cries came through the door, but it never opened. I’d hurt her too much, and now I was going to have to up my game if I wanted to get her back.

  I had six days. Six days to show her that we were meant to be together, and I was going to spend all six of them proving that if that’s what it took.

  ooooooooo

  Jessica

  I don’t think I slept more than a few hours last night. After Ryan left, I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. I don’t know why he all of a sudden decided that coming here was the best idea ever. He says he wants to fix things, but I don’t know if there’s even anything left to fix. I don’t even know if I even want to fix them. We were kids back then. We thought we knew what love was, but now I’m not so sure. I mean, don’t get wrong, I cared about him but does a sixteen-year-old really know what love is?

  I was out of bed before the sun came up this morning, not that I ever really went to sleep. I had a new mindset today, and I was going to nail that trick if it was the last thing I did. When I slipped out of bed, I groaned. My head hurt from crying so much the night before, and my body ached from tiredness. I moved around the room in the dark as I grabbed my bikini and a rash guard. I slipped my feet into a pair of flip flops, and then went to retrieve my board from the storage closet on my balcony. I had several, but my purple board was my lucky one.

  After locking up the apartment, I made my way to the beach, board under my arm and a towel and water bottle in my hand. The beach was fairly empty when I got there. A few surfers were already out in the water taking advantage of the great waves we had today, but other than that the beach was empty.

  I set my things down, and began stretching as I pulled my hair into a knot on top of my head. A few of the guys I’d surfed with before were sitting on their boards, bobbing out in the water. One waved at me, and when I squinted to see who it was, he shouted.

  “Whatcha waitn’ for?” Griff’s voice echoed over the crashing waves, and I laughed.

  “Nothing,” I shouted back as I took off for the water.

  As I paddled out past the breakers, I could feel the weight of the night before melt away. The ocean always did this for me, and today was no different. I needed a clear head if I was going to land this trick, and Griff was just the support to help.

  “’Bout time.” He chuckled when I reached him.

  “Thought you’d be busy making babies.” I splashed him.

  “Taking the morning off. She needed a break.” He grinned.

  “A break from what?” I let my eyes dip down before I broke into laughter.

  “Ouch.” He leaned back as if I’d slugged him. “I’ve got skills woman, you just don’t know what they are.”

  “Because that would be weird.” I shook my head. Griff was more like a brother than a friend. I knew I could count on him, and he’d stood by me since the beginning. He was really my only ‘true friend’ out here. Don’t get me wrong, I have others, but Griff and I just ‘get each other.’

  “Totally weird.” He cringed. “No offense, because you are a hot girl, but I don’t want to think of you like that.”

  “Same.” I laughed. Griff was what you’d call a true surfer. All those things you think about when you picture a male surfer… that’s Griff. Blonde hair, dark tan, deep blue eyes… he reminds me of that guy from the Blue Lagoon movies.

  “So, let’s see this aerial that you’re working on.” He tossed his hair back, slinging water all over me.

  “Um, need to warm up first.” I laughed as a beautiful set started coming in. “This one’s mine.” I leaned forward on my board and began to paddle into position. As the wave crested, I popped up and took the drop. It opened perfectly, and as I twisted up and down, the green barrel swirled below me. It was a powerful feeling, one so powerful that on most days I wouldn’t even notice my surroundings. The observers on the beach were always something I tuned out. When you’ve been competing since you were a kid, you learn how to stay focused and think about yourself first. You don’t worry about who’s watching. Today was no different until I saw the navy and white board shorts in the distance. I didn’t even know he still owned them, but I’m guessing he wore them as a reminder.

  Before I was ready for it, the wave slipped from under me, leaving me in the shallows staring dumbfounded at him. He smiled as his arm lifted in a gesture of ‘hi’. “What are you doing here?” I wiped at my eyes to make sure they weren’t playing tricks on me.

  “Same as you.” He shrugged. “Just like old times, huh?” Ryan chuckled as he lifted a board I didn’t recognize and ran into the water, leaving me there staring at his back.

&
nbsp; My body stirred to life as the muscles flexed. Before I could stare too long though, he dove under the waves. When he surfaced, he was paddling like his life depended on it in the direction of Griff and the other guys.

  “Great.” I sighed. I’m sure he’s going out there to see what his competition is. Funny thing is though, none of them are more than friends. Guess Ryan doesn’t need to know that though, I laughed quietly before following behind him. I was here to work, and that’s what I planned to do. I don’t know why he was here, and I didn’t care… at least that’s what I’m telling myself.

  Barney- an inexperienced surfer, or someone who’s no good at surfing.

  Chapter 13

  Ryan

  I knew she’d be out on the water today. Jess always used the waves as an escape when she was stressed about anything. When we were little and she got picked on at school, she would be out in the water taking her aggression out on a wave. The first time I screwed up and kissed her, she spent a week practically killing herself to land a trick. I knew the way her mind worked, and after last night I knew she’d be here. What I didn’t expect was her to be here with a bunch of guys.

  I rented a board from my hotel this morning, and when I walked down here, I saw her bobbing out in the water. The white rash guard reflected the pre dawn light, and when she took that ride in, I knew it was her just by her form. The guys out in the water whooped and hollered as she swerved up and down the perfect barrel, and a little twinge tugged at my gut. Jess never said anything about seeing someone, but the someones in the water sure seemed to know her.

  After talking to her last night, I know that I’m not going to be able to just jump back into her life. I need to show her that I’m staying and that I meant what I said. I decided on my walk here that I’m just going to surf. I’ll do like I did when we were kids. I’ll hang out near her, and if we happened to start up a conversation, then great. If not, at least I get to be close by for the day.