Love Is Enough

by Emma Easter

  He began to tell her all he knew about it and how it had even affected some of the early church fathers like Martin Luther.

  That surprised her. The more he talked, the more it all made sense. When he told her that it wasn’t from God, she let out a sigh of relief.

  “The solution is not trying to please God with more and more religious rituals like you did in Bible school, or running away from God just like you’ve done lately. The only solution is to believe in God’s perfect, unconditional love for you. God’s word says that perfect love casts out all fear! That is what will take away all these fears and give you total peace.”

  She wept as she listened to him, her heart growing lighter and lighter. The more he talked about how much God loved her, the more at peace she felt until finally, a supernatural peace settled over her. For the first time in more than a year, she felt no trace of anxiety or fear.

  He took her hand. “Never forget he loves you and that you are his no matter what your mind tells you.”

  She nodded and smiled. “Thank you, Bryan!” Tears filled her eyes; tears of gratitude to God, and to this precious man He’d sent her way, who had gone to such great lengths to help her. Her heart flooded with all that she felt for him, and she stared deep into his eyes.

  He looked away all of a sudden and then said, “Will you go back to your room or do you want me to stay here with you until you fall asleep?”

  She felt completely at peace and knew she wouldn’t have any more nightmares. Still, she didn’t want him to leave. She said, “Can you stay with me for a while?”

  He nodded. “Sure.”

  She grinned in gratitude and lay on the couch with her feet on his lap. She felt somewhat giddy having him so close beside her. She sighed in contentment, closed her eyes, and gave in to the sweet sleep wooing her.

  *****

  Sienna watched closely as Bryan counted his cards. The wind blew his hair across his face, and he brushed it back with his fingers. He groaned and threw his cards on the table. “I have only ten cards.” He turned to face Audrey, who sat next to him near the porch railing. “How many do you have, Audrey?”

  Audrey thinned her lips and placed all her cards beside his. “Sienna and Trisha took them all. I have just eight.”

  Trisha laughed as she counted out her pack of cards and threw them on the table. “I have the most cards,” she said. “Sienna, how many do you have?”

  Sienna rolled her eyes. “Twelve.” She chuckled as Trisha gave a triumphant yell. “We know you’ve won, Trisha. You don’t have to rub it in.”

  Trisha got up to do a little dance, and they all laughed.

  “Okay, sit down, Trish,” Audrey said. “I’m going to beat you this time.”

  They all played another round of the card game, and Trisha won again.

  Everybody groaned.

  Audrey shook her head and said, “You guys are blessed. I’m the unlucky one who will have to listen to Trish gloat night and day when we get back to Rosefield.”

  They laughed again, and Sienna gave a contented sigh. She hadn’t been this happy in such a long time. With her heart steeped in peace and her sisters and Bryan in the house, she almost felt like she was in heaven. Since her talk with Bryan three days ago, she’d not experienced a single symptom of the panic attacks. “We should play again,” she said.

  “Not me,” Trisha said. “I’m hungry.” She started walking toward the kitchen. “I’m going to make fried rice. Who wants some?”

  Audrey shook her head. “You’re pregnant, Trish, you should rest. Let me make my special lasagna.”

  “Audrey, I’m pregnant, not sick! We can make it together.”

  Bryan chuckled. “You guys have a special lasagna? I can’t wait to taste that.”

  “It’ll blow your mind,” Audrey bragged.

  They left for the kitchen, and Sienna turned to face Bryan. She grinned. “You are not tired of my sisters yet? They are a handful.”

  He got up and came to sit beside her. “What are you saying? I love your sisters! They are so entertaining.”

  She nodded, and then sharply sucked in her breath at the look in his eye. It was the way he always looked at her whenever he thought no one was watching—like she was a rare gem he’d just discovered.

  He looked away toward the kitchen and said, “Since you are better now, I think I’ll leave for school tomorrow.”

  She gasped, and a thin thread of fear went through her. She blurted out, “You can’t go.”

  “Why not?”

  “Umm . . . Audrey and Trisha will be leaving tomorrow. Who will stay with me?” She knew he wouldn’t buy the reason she just gave. She was completely well now and didn’t need anyone to care for her again. She searched her mind for something else to say and added, “I need you.”

  He sighed, and then he looked her in the eye. The softness in his eyes caused a lump to form in her throat. He said, “I don’t know if my staying here will be good for either of us. Cause it’s not what you need.”

  “What do you mean?”

  He sighed and then said huskily, “I’m deeply in love with you, Sienna.”

  Her jaw dropped, and her heart pounded. She knew he liked her a lot. But he’d just confessed that he loved her. She shut her mouth and then cried, “Then why won’t you stay with me if you love me?”

  “I think it might hinder your complete healing. I’m way too attracted to you to stay here alone with you.” He moaned. “Besides, I need to get back to school now.”

  An anguished sob rose up in her. She wanted to tell him she liked him. That she loved him too—because she did, even though she was just now admitting it to herself.

  But she held back.

  He was right. He was always right. If he said it would be better if he left, then that was the right thing to do. That, however, did not alleviate the sadness that had settled in her heart. She said to him, “What if I have a panic attack?”

  “Just remember what I’ve been telling you about God’s love and grace. Choose to believe that God loves you and that you are his even when you don’t feel that way.”

  She smiled sadly and nodded. “Is there any way I can convince you to stay?”

  “I have to go, Sienna. I’ve done what the Lord brought me here to do. You’ve rededicated your life to Him, and your fears are gone.”

  Except for the fear of losing you.

  Reining in her emotions, she said, “I’ll miss you.” She added, “If only I could return to the Bible school, but I already signed a three-year contract with my agency.”

  They had given her time off to recuperate, but she wasn’t sure how she would continue with them. Most of their clients were lingerie and swimwear designers. She didn’t want to keep doing that kind of modeling.

  Bryan shook his head. “You can’t just come back to the Bible school, Sienna. From what you’ve told me, it was fear and that anxiety that brought you there and not God.”

  She bit her lips. One more thing to keep us away from each other.

  Brushing the sad thought away, she decided to share her dilemma with him. “I don’t know what to do about the contract I signed with my agency. I don’t want to keep modeling lingerie and teeny tiny bikinis. I don’t even want to think about going back to work right now.”

  “Just pray about it, Sienna,” he said. “God will show you what to do.”

  “He will?”

  “Yes, just the way he showed me his will for my life.”

  She smiled sadly. “I’ve been wondering how you came to the Bible College and became assistant chaplain even as a student.”

  He looked into the distance and then said, “I gave my heart to Christ almost nine years ago. That same year, I felt like the Lord was calling me to carry his message of love and grace to the world. I knew then that God wanted me to go to a Bible college.”

  His eyes took on a faraway look. “I thought I was going to a Bible college immediately I graduated from high school, but God told me it wasn’t time.
I went to college, and on the day I graduated, God told me it was time to go to a Bible college. However, He said He wanted me to go to a specific one where they needed to hear about His grace and love.”

  She said, “Beulah.”

  “Yes. I thought he would lead me to a big Bible school in a big city, but instead, he told me to go to the outskirts of my town. When I drove out of Green Valley, driving toward Rosefield, I saw a building with the words, ‘Beulah College’ emblazoned on it. He told me that was where I was to go. That’s how I came to attend Beulah.”

  “And how did you become a student chaplain?”

  “In my second year, the senior chaplain, Dr. Lincoln, started to teach my Biblical Theology class. Every time he gave a test or asked questions, I had the answers when others didn’t. It wasn’t me, though, it was the Lord.” He smiled. “Anyway, he said I was his favorite student.”

  “One day, he asked if I would like to be his assistant and serve as a chaplain. Even though I didn’t know the first thing about it, I knew it was what God wanted me to do. So, without hesitation, I accepted to assist him, and I have learned a lot about what being a chaplain meant in these years. Soon, he left me with a lot of his duties, and that is it. That’s how I became the assistant chaplain in school.”

  She said, “I always get inspired by your stories.” Her eyes watered as she thought about him leaving. “I wish you could stay.”

  She took his hand and was glad when he didn’t pull it away. As she gazed at him, she considered telling him that she loved him too, but Trisha yelled out, “Food is ready!”

  Audrey set the food on the dining table while Trisha set down glasses of iced tea.

  As they ate and talked, Sienna kept looking at him. His eyes sparkled as he spoke with Audrey and Trisha. Without a doubt, she was completely in love with him. It made her want to weep. She loved him, and he loved her, but she couldn’t keep him here with her and that slightly frustrated her. If he said the Lord wanted him to go, then she would not be in his way, no matter how much it hurt.

  Chapter Eleven

  The office was dark.

  They all crouched at the back of their desks waiting. Audrey shushed two of the officers who were whispering amongst themselves. She looked up and then whispered, “I can hear footsteps. He’s coming! Everybody hush!”

  They all waited in silence. The footsteps grew louder until the door opened and the lights came on.

  Audrey sprang up just as the others did. They all yelled, “Surprise!”

  Ken jumped and then laughed. “Guys! What are you all doing here so late?” He looked at the two-tiered yellow cheesecake sitting in the middle of his desk and grinned. There were drinks next to the cake, as well as plastic plates and cups. Above him was a banner with the words, “Farewell to our great police chief, Ken Baylor!’

  He faced Audrey. “So, this is why you called me to the office at eleven o’clock at night.”

  Lieutenant Burns, a middle-aged officer, smiled at him and said gruffly, “Boss, we are going to miss having you here.”

  Everyone gave Ken their well-wishes, but Audrey stood to the side, fighting her misery and trying hard to keep the tears away. He was leaving; just when she’d finally fallen in love with her dream man after being single for most of her life.

  She finally let out a sigh of frustration. Life just wasn’t fair. Ken looked over at her, and she put on a smile for him. I can’t be like this today, she told herself. She got herself together and walked over to him. “So, you have to cut your cake now,” she said, grinning.

  He smiled tenderly at her. “You’re the one responsible for all this. How did you plan it all when you were in New York?”

  “I already had most of it planned before I left,” she said, drinking in his features and committing them to memory. “I actually wanted to do a bigger farewell party for you, but because I had to leave for Sienna’s, I couldn’t.”

  “This is the best surprise party ever, and the fact that you were the one who planned it for me makes it even more special.” He touched her arm. “Thank you.”

  She started to feel gloomy once again and instantly pushed it away. I have to be thankful that I at least got to be here before he left.

  She clapped and signaled everyone to gather. She said to him, “It’s time to cut your cake,” and handed him the knife. He moved closer to the cake and his brows lifted. He laughed out loud as he read the words spelled out in blue icing, “Farewell, Boss! From your minions!”

  He blew out the candles and beamed as they all sang, “For he’s a jolly good fellow!” After that, they shared the cake.

  Everyone stood in groups talking and eating. From time to time, Audrey glanced at him as she spoke with a group of officers and him with another. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore. She walked up to him and with a sly smile, she took his face in her hands and kissed him in front of everybody.

  The officers sniggered, but she didn’t care. None of them had mentioned it, but she was sure they already knew about her and Ken anyway.

  When she drew back, his eyes were as round as saucers with shock. And then he grinned. “Wow, Audrey! That kiss was something! But I thought we were keeping it a secret for now,” he whispered.

  She shrugged. “I just wanted everyone to know that you are mine.”

  He nodded. “Well then, in that case,” he pulled her close and planted a firm kiss on her lips. “I want them to know that you are mine as well!”

  They both ignored the snickering and smiled at each other.

  For the rest of the party, Audrey talked with Ken and the other officers while she thought about her plans for their final date tomorrow. Since it was a Saturday, they would go to the amusement park in the morning, and then the fair in the afternoon before finally heading back to her house until he left in the evening. At least they would get to spend the entire day together and make the most of what they had.

  She watched him laughing and talking and kept her eyes on him until he looked at her. When he did, she saw in his eyes the sadness and sense of loss she felt in her heart. She forced a smile and mouthed, “I love you.”

  He smiled back and said the same before turning back to his conversation.

  *****

  At about seven o’clock the next morning, Audrey went to Ken’s house and rang the bell.

  He opened the door, and she smiled. He looked adorable still dressed in his pajamas, his dark hair messy. He rubbed his eyes and said in a sleepy voice, “I didn’t know you were going to come so early.”

  She pushed his hair back from his face and kissed his cheeks. “You look so cute,” she said.

  Grinning, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. “How are you today?”

  “Good,” she answered. She stepped into his house, spick and span as always, and sat on the black leather loveseat. He came and sat next to her, and she studied his face. “I love how you look right now.” She’d never seen him this early and seeing him like this reminded her of why she was so sad. She wanted to see him this way every morning. And that meant marriage for her. But when would their relationship progress to that once he left? As the saying went: out of sight is out of mind.

  She pressed down her concerns and said, “I can’t wait to see you like this every day,” and then she groaned inwardly. She’d just spoken out her thoughts. She might as well have asked when he planned to marry her. That would be so presumptuous, especially now that he was leaving.

  He scrutinized her face, but didn’t say anything.

  For a full minute, they stared at each other.

  I would give everything I have to know what’s on his mind right now, she thought. He already knew exactly what was on hers, since she had just spoken it out. She broke her gaze at last and said, “Ken, you have about thirty minutes to get ready, so we can head out.”

  He nodded, stood and left the living room.

  She glanced around. The room was very masculine, all dark wood and leather furniture. Inv
oluntarily, she imagined herself living here, adding feminine touches to the place.

  Stop it! She chastised herself. She had to stop imagining being married to him . . . for now. Besides, another problem worried her. He wouldn’t leave his job in Miami to come and settle here with her. Neither could she leave hers or her dear parents’ house to move to Florida.

  The new predicament which she had never considered before began to weigh heavily on her. Finally, after some minutes, she forcefully pushed it out of her mind. Today was a day for happy memories to be made, not a day to indulge in a worry fest.

  Twenty minutes later, Ken appeared again, looking fresh in a white cotton shirt and brown pants. “I’m ready,” he said.

  They left in her car. All through their time together at the amusement park, eating ice-cream, going on the rides, she took mental pictures and stored each memory in her heart. When they went to the cinema to catch a movie, she half watched the film and half watched him, studying his face so it would remain with her even when he was gone.

  After their long day out, before they entered her house, he caught her wrist. “Audrey, you looked kinda sad today. Even though I’m leaving Rosefield now, we will still get to see each other via video calls.”

  “It’s not the same,” she said.

  He sighed audibly. “I know. For one, I won’t get to do this.” He tilted her chin up and kissed her slowly and deliberately. She pressed her body close to him, returning his kiss with fervor, knowing she would not get to kiss him for a long time to come.

  At last, she stepped back, slightly unsteadily. He put his hand around her shoulders to support her, and she smiled. “Okay, we need to get in so I can start preparing dinner now. It has to be ready soon so we can eat before your flight. We won’t survive for long on only ice-cream and bags of chips.”

  He grumbled playfully. “Who needs food when we can spend the time kissing?”

  “Umm, everyone on the planet.” She replied amidst laughter and brought out her house keys from her purse. “Besides, we can’t keep standing out here, kissing.”