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Tin Universe Monthly #20 A FIRST SHOT FIRED, Part Two

Page 2

by Brian C. Williams

That was late for an old lady like me. I don’t have insomnia sometimes but I mostly lay down around nine or so. I still get up from time to time because somebody has to play on the internet @3am…. I beginning to think it’s a second job!

  BREAKING NEWS: Woman murdered in County Antrim left with a message carved into her chest- TOADS

  BREAKING NEWS: Nigerian city of Maiduguri currently under siege by what witnesses and cell phone videos show to be men in full silver battle armor. The reasoning for the attacks are unknown at this time.

  BREAKING NEWS: In the Central Africa Republic legends become reality as a group of Beyond Human women calling themselves The Shango Assegai have come forward saying they shall lead Africa into the future.

  Jeff: My neighbors, the guys, are in a fist fight outside their apartment. It’s all WWE here

  Karen: What?

  Jeff: White guys calling each other Nigger over and over again trying to get the other to stop fighting

  Karen: Why?

  Jeff: Drunk sounds like

  Karen: You live at the best place

  Jeff: I’ve heard “Dog” 8052 time in the past five minutes. I counted

  Karen: It spelt “dawg”

  Jeff: Thanks for the ethnic vocab lesson

  Karen: I learned it from Randy Jackson

  Jeff: Never trust a Jackson. Wait, that rule only applies to little boys

  Karen: Dude

  Jeff: One just said “Dawg someone called the pigs”

  Karen: Really?

  Jeff: Yep

  Jeff: And that was the weekly police visit to my apartment complex. Getting it in early this week, it’s only Monday

  Karen: They really said “pigs”

  Jeff: Yes they did

  Karen: Who called the cops?

  Jeff: I didn’t. I was chatting with you the whole time

  Karen: How come none of the fun stuff happens when I’m over there?

  Jeff: When you get your own fun place you’ll get this kind of glory.

  Jeff: Maybe you can move in with that pocket multch girl in class?

  Karen: No vegetarian farts please. Plus she’s one of those assholes who lived on the street as homeless for fun.

  BREAKING NEWS: Several men found dead in Kenya with links to investigation into corruption within International Criminal Court.

  BREAKING NEWS: Thousands march in Australian city of Cairns over the death of a Beyond Human child by the hands of suspected agents of the United States government.

  BREAKING NEWS: A group of the richest in Hong Kong urge lawmakers to pass reforms that will allow a committee of business owners to have more of an “official” say in the running of the government.

  Fox, ‘What other kinds of crafting can you do?’

  Jeff, ‘Crotchhatching.’

  Karen, ‘What did he just say?

  BREAKING NEWS: 34 year old women, Sanso Little, from Northern Ireland, has come out of a coma saying “The Dream Healers” saved her from death and we should all worship them before “The Spiders Take Our Souls.”

  BREAKING NEWS: Emergency services in South Australia already dealing with fighting bushfires and flooding are now faced with the possibility of a poisonous insect investigation.

  BREAKING NEWS: Two rebel groups are hunting down and killing civilians in Eastern Ukraine government says.

  Jeff, ‘I thought that ad said The Pangea Hotel.’

  Fox, ‘Sometimes I think you’ll trolling us?’

  BREAKING NEWS: Saudi writer arrested and beaten to death on stage in display of what happens when you insult the states religious doctrine and support Beyond Human rights.

  BREAKING NEWS: The U.S. economy improves, new guys say they did it, old guys say they did it, everyone else wonders why we did it and elected these asshats.

  BREAKING NEWS: Two doctors disappear after using Twitter to announce they have discovered a vaccine for Ebola. They were last seen leaving Washington D.C. The World Health Organizaiton says.

  Jeff,

  I took your notie with me. Did I actually write notie? Please shoot me later. I know I’m going to need something to read no matter what it says to get me through this job interview. I’m not feeling particularly strong right now, especially waking up thinking about work and that screaming dumbass yesterday. I’m welled up with fear and anger and how I should have yelled back something at him. The more I think the more I seem to know how wrong this job would be for me. Ugh. Keep me in your thoughts and the safety of others in there also if they really piss me off.

  Talk to you more later,

  Fox

  BREAKING NEWS: Beyond Human DNA found in elastic implant that molds over the spinal cord restoring the ability to walk says activists group after selling some from manufacturer.

  BREAKING NEWS: Private U.S. space company Space Headings says, “We meant to crash that rocket….yea, it was science.”

  BREAKING NEWS: New book is released that asks was the Haiti earthquake natural or was there a “Beyond Human” factor to it.

  Karen,

  I forgot to tell you your mom called. I don’t mind you staying here but you should call her. She had left a message to call her. So give a ring before you leave today for school. Hope you have a good day. I hope I do too.

  Fox

  BREAKING NEWS: Botanist are stunned by the results of a study of plants brought up from the deepest point in the ocean. “Early signs are of a capability for reasoning and intelligence.”

  BREAKING NEWS: Visit our website for the most updated News and scan all the archives.

  BREAKING NEWS: Thief Rathburn Gaudiano steals another priceless piece from an international museum, this time The Baxter Crux Collection in Chicago.

  Karen,

  If you get a chance could you scoop the poop for me? And garbage if you get a chance that would be a BIG help.

  Jeff

  BREAKING NEWS: Chaos at the court house as glitch sends out letters to every voting person in one Florida County for jury summons. County officials say no plans to correct, “Everyone has to show up to vetted.”

  BREAKING NEWS: Canadian police told to erase social media presence after threats the government says have signs of “truth” to them from an urban terrorist group who call themselves Liability.

  BREAKING NEWS: Smart phone controlled sex toys, in an emergency government session, are made illegal in the state of Virginia. Also brings a new phase to the term- Phone Sex.

  Love,

  I’m sitting here waiting for 6:30 to arrive so I can go to my concert tonight. I’m excited. It’s been a long, tiring day and I wish to sleep. I didn’t go to sleep until almost 5:30 this morning and I was back up at 7:15… I had hoped for a nap but I had to get online for a while and goof around.

  I have music playing in the background… and wonder what you are doing as I typed this with closed eyes.

  I guess my heart dropped as I saw you disappear from Facebook messaging. I always panic when that happens but then I have to start looking at myself and how often when I get scared or frightened or silent or tired and then I don’t want to deal with anything and it becomes just so easily press disconnect.

  It’s not very fair to anybody I’m chatting with but there in lies my problem. One of my friends from work who really knows the situation between us asked me, “Well, what are you going to do when you can’t press disconnect” And well, she had a point. I just looked at her and honestly said “I don’t know” She gives me things to think about sometimes.

  What happens if one of us gets too scared? Just stare blankly at you and be silent. The relationships of the past have formed the way I am today I’m afraid. Maybe you and only you have the key to unlock this mind so I feel free enough to be everything to you.

  Sometimes I just sit here and wonder why you tolerate so much from me… you don’t ever seem scared or angry… just accepting of who I am… and very gentle. I think that scares me a lot. Because I sometimes wonder if I’m playing games again… like I have done before… an
d you don’t play back… I guess I need to clarify this a little… sometimes the stuff I write online on Facebook… sometimes the stuff I write I think would or could make you jealous or angry or something… and all you do is seem amused… so here I think… “Lisa, what are you doing?” And I wonder and then think some more and have to admit if you were doing the flirting that I have been doing on Facebook… I don’t think I would like it very much. In fact, I’d probably be seeing red.

  Lisa

  BREAKING NEWS: People are nuts.

  BREAKING NEWS: Florida Senator says Beyond Human insurance, federally funded, “is needed for the future of business and the economy of America.”

  BREAKING NEWS: Workers get weekend off !CELEBRATE! And fired when they get back to work on Monday.

  Jeff,

  I haven’t heard of punching an arm with a localized infection. In fact, if you think about it, it could cause more tissue damage by forceful impact on an already inflamed area, so maybe don’t do it.

  Fox

  BREAKING NEWS: School in Texas wants to have all illegal immigrant and legal immigrant children implanted with tiny RFID chips.

  BREAKING NEWS: Group calling themselves Maskirovka 13 attack random spots all over Russia belonging to the wealthy and powerful.

  BREAKING NEWS: Singer Amma Turn copyrights No More No More More No More.

  Jeff,

  You really are starting to worry me. You sound so depressed lately. I really do care about you. I feel closer to you than anyone I have ever met. Yes, even Karen. If you need to confide in me, just go ahead.

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