Yours and Yours Alone

by Marilyn Lee

  “What can I say? When we met, I was single; living the good life and loving the dick I was getting on a very regular basis. Of course once he whipped his out and put a hurting on my greedy kitty, I was his to command. Eight years later, we’re still fucking like horny teenagers every chance we get.”

  “Small wonder you have three kids.”

  “What can I say? When the dick is as good as his, it deserves to plunder unprotected pussy as often as possible. And we are married.”

  “As am I. Sans the beautiful kids part.”

  “The kids will come when you’re in love.”

  “Seriously? You do realize people not in love have kids all the time. Right? And you’re forgetting that I was madly in love with Braden.”

  “Yeah. I always wondered how you managed not to get pregnant with all the love making you two were doing.”

  “We wanted kids, but neither of us wanted them outside of marriage. So I was on birth control and when there was the slightest chance of my getting pregnant, he used condoms.”

  “Apparently very effectively. However, my point is that I’m happily married to a man who trusts and loves me. Let’s not discuss Hank’s many flaws.”

  “Look, I know you’ve never been his biggest fan, but—”

  “And for good reason. He’s never really made you happy.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not true. I married him because I loved him.”

  “I know that, but I just never felt that he deserved you.”

  “Well I did and do! Which is why I married him.”

  “But let’s be honest, girl. Your marriage has been rocky almost from the start. Have you ever asked yourself why?”

  “I suppose you’re going to imply I was still in love with Braden.”

  “Hey. It’s not for nothing that we’re best friends. I know you were no longer in love with Braden when you married Hank. I also think we can both admit that while you might have fallen in love with him, you didn’t love him as deeply as you loved Braden.”

  “Look—”

  “Oh, girlfriend, please. Do not try and convince me that you would have wasted nearly nine years waiting for Hank to pop the question as you did with Braden.”

  “My time with Braden was not wasted!”

  “And there you have it. He kept you hanging on for nearly a decade and you still won’t hear a bad word about him. I rest my case.”

  Kania sighed. “Hank is still my husband and doesn’t deserve to have me flirting with another man the moment his back in turned. Especially one who insists I should sleep with him and divorce my husband. In that order.”

  “Oh? Hot sex first and divorce and marriage later? I say go for it and get you some dick, girl because God knows you need some. Going too long without good dick is a sure recipe for misery.”

  “I am not going to go for anything with him.”

  “Let’s get real. Something is going to happen with him sooner or later. And when it does, it will be because Hank drove you to it with his lack of trust and keeping his dick in his pants instead of inside you.”

  “No. If anything happened, it would be because I’m too much like my mother.”

  “You’re nothing like her. She and your father were living together as a happily married couple when she cheated and left you both to be with her lover. For all intents and purposes, Hank left you.”

  “He didn’t leave me.”

  “Yes. He kind of did. He let you quit your job, give up your condo, and then left you behind when you wouldn’t destroy pictures from over a decade of your life because Braden was in them. I call that emotional abandonment if nothing else. Besides, let’s not forget the fact that he doesn’t contribute a penny to your monthly expenses.”

  “That’s not fair. You know that between my mother, her husband’s, and my father’s estates, that I’m more than comfortable financially.”

  “So? He gets a free pass and doesn’t have to contribute any of his salary to the marriage pot? Seriously? With my last raise, I make considerably more than Ryan, but he doesn’t use that as an excuse not to make a financial contribution to our marriage.”

  “Hank asked about contributing to household expenses. I told him that hasn’t necessary.”

  “Last year I told Ryan he could decrease his monthly contributions to our expenses. And you know what? He told me that’s not how he wants to roll. Hank left without your approval and he leaves you to pay all the bills on the home he expects to return to when he’s ready? He left you. Now I say maybe it time to view his actions as a trial separation and live down to his expectations.”

  “With Raven?”

  “Why not? He’s there, interested, and sexy as hell. If I weren’t so happily married to Ryan, I’d take a shot at taking his big, lusty ass off your hands. I’m telling you. Those girls say his dick is the best they’re every had. And we both know the amount of cock they’ve had is legion.”

  “I am not my mother.”

  “No, you’re not.” Rena sighed. “I didn’t call to upset you.”

  “I know.”

  “Listen, I have to go, but call me if you need me and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.”

  “I will and thanks for being the best friend ever.”

  “Always girl. I’ll see you when I get back—that is if you can manage to squeeze me into your schedule by then.”

  “And what is that supposed to mean?”

  “Just what you think it does. I’m team Raven all the way.”

  “Rena—”

  “I’ve been on this phone too long already. Gotta go. Love you. Bye.”

  She blew out a breath and went to sit on the patio to wait for Raven. And assure herself that there was no chance in hell of her letting things get out of hand with him. None. Zero. Nada. Zilch.

  “Earth to Kania.”

  She swung around.

  Raven stood in the living room doorway. At 5’ 9”, she preferred men with whom she could afford to wear heels. He was the ideal height. But then lately, everything about him seemed prefect. His dark hair was damp and he wore a pair of casual pants and a short-sleeved pullover. Trying to pretend that his sex appeal wasn’t off the charts was just wasted energy. But how long had he stood there?

  “Ready to go out for breakfast?”

  She shook her head. “We need to talk, Raven.”

  He walked out onto the patio and sat opposite her at the table. “You have my undivided attention.”

  “I think you should start calling around to get a reservation starting Monday.”

  “You’re rescinding your invitation to stay?”

  “I hope you understand, but I think it’s best.”

  “Why?”

  “Isn’t it obvious?”

  “You don’t trust me?”

  “Of course I do.”

  “Then you have my word and promise that nothing will happen between us that you don’t want. I’ve never had to force my attentions on a woman and I sure as hell am not going to start with you.”

  She grimaced. “You make it sound as if I’m flattering myself to—”

  “That was not my intention, as you must know. I’m fairly sure I’ve made my interest clear, but I have no desire to pressure you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

  “Then why do I feel I have to keep reminding you that I’m married?”

  “Message received.”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’m a quick study.”

  She frowned. This was a fine time to get contrary. She should be relieved, but she wasn’t. “So we’re okay?”

  “Yes. We are.”

  “Good. Thanks.”

  “But just to be on the safe side, I’ll make other arrangements.”

  “Oh, no. I really do want you to stay.”

  “You’ll be comfortable having me stay knowing how I feel?”

  “Yes.”

  “But then you’ve always known how I felt. Haven’t you?”

  She shrugged
. “You like to flirt. I like to be flirted with.” As long as he was the one doing the flirting.

  “You know it’s always been more than flirting—at least for me.”

  She shrugged again. “That’s all it could be then and now.”

  “Then you were with my brother. Now you’re with an idiot who walked out on you.”

  “He didn’t walk out on me. We had a disagreement and—”

  “Whatever. Let’s go to breakfast.” He rose and offered her his arm.

  She hesitated. “Raven—”

  “Husband or no husband, sooner or later I’m going to...”

  “To what?”

  “Do what I should have done when you ended things with Braden.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “Strip you naked, kiss and lick every inch of your beautiful body, and then slide deep inside your pussy and fuck you senseless.”

  Meeting his dark gaze, the weight of the years of pretending her interest in him didn’t extend beyond his relationship to Braden collapsed. She admitted that unless Hank came home and started making love to her again, sooner or later, she was going to take a lover.

  “Are you coming?”

  She nodded but didn’t take his arm.

  They had breakfast at one of her favorite restaurants. During the meal, he behaved as he always had in the past, complementing her, and flirting in a way that lifted her spirts without making her uncomfortable. While they sat over coffee, his phone rang.

  He lifted it from his front pocket, glanced at the screen, and hesitated.

  “Do you need to get that?”

  He looked up. “Do you mind?”

  She shook her head.

  “Thanks. Excuse me for a moment.” He rose and lifted the phone to his ear. “Hi.”

  The way his voice softened, she suspected the caller was female. And clearly someone he was happy to hear from. To her annoyed surprise, nearly twenty minutes passed before he returned to the table.

  “My apologies,” he said, resuming his seat opposite her.

  She flashed a smile and resisted the urge to ask if he’d been talking to one of his friends with benefits.

  “Would you like anything else?” He asked.

  “No. Thanks.”

  He glanced at his watch. “I need to stop by the jewelers. Should I drop you off first or will you come with me?”

  “You’re not going to buy me an engagement ring. Are you?”

  He arched a brow. “Is that a hint that you’d accept it if I did?”

  “Elkhorn!”

  “I answered your question. Surely you’re not going to penalize me for telling the truth.”

  “Of course not.”

  “I’m not buying you a ring of any kind. So am I taking you home or are you coming with?”

  There was only one way to learn what he was buying and for whom. “I’ll come with.”

  He went to the same exclusive shop Braden used to buy her jewelry from and chose two pair of diamond earrings, one in white gold and one in yellow gold, each in a different style. He looked at her. “What do you think?”

  “They’re beautiful and any woman would be delighted to receive either of them.”

  He met her gaze. “One is for Tasha and the other is for Kia.”

  What the hell had she been thinking coming to watch him buy gifts for other women? She nodded and looked away.

  “While we’re here, can I buy something for you?”

  She glanced at the two boxes on the countertops before shaking her head.

  He leaned down to speak close to her ear. “Please don’t think I put you in the same category because I don’t.”

  “Thanks, but I have enough jewelry.”

  “Strange. Mom says a woman can never have too much.”

  “What are you buying her for Mother’s Day?”

  “These days she likes simple gold chains and cash. She has a number of friends that are not as fortunate as she is. She finds joys in helping make their lives a little easier. Now. Back to you. Why don’t we look at something simple and classic...like a gold chain or a piece of jade?”

  “Thanks, but I don’t need anything else.”

  “But I need to buy something as a substitute for what you won’t accept. And it’s not as if I haven’t bought you jewelry before.”

  He’d once had a jade earring and bracelet set made for her. Several months later, he’d given her a matching necklace. Over the years he’d given her other pieces of jewelry. She had accepted them because in those days, all Braden’s brothers tended to shower her with gifts, with the expectation she would one-day be their sister-in-law.

  She picked out a diamond-cut gold chain.

  “Can I buy you a bracelet to go with it?” He asked.

  “This is fine. Thanks.”

  He nodded and they left the jewelry store.

  “Home?” He asked when they were in his rental.

  “Actually, I’m scheduled to do a two-hour stint at the local animal shelter.”

  He drove her there. “I’ll pick you up in about two and a half hours?”

  She wondered which woman’s bed he’d be slipping into the moment he dropped her off. So not your business. “Okay.”

  She spent her time at the shelter giving two different dogs thirty-minute walks before spending the rest of the time washing animal bowls. She finished just as Raven arrived to pick her up.

  She couldn’t detect any hint of strange perfume on him and his clothes didn’t appear to have been wrinkled from making out. They listened to soft jazz on the drive back to her house. “You know I don’t think I really want to go out tonight after all. Let’s eat in.”

  “Sounds delightful, but unfortunately, I’m going to have to take a raincheck for dinner.”

  Chapter Four

  SHE TURNED TO FACE him in the foyer. “You’re having dinner out?”

  “Am I flattering myself, or are you less than pleased?”

  “Just surprised.”

  “I’m disappointed you’re not more, cher.”

  “Should I wait up or—”

  “No. You shouldn’t wait up.”

  “Do you want a key or should I not expect you before breakfast or lunch?”

  “Make it lunch...in about a week.”

  “A...week?”

  He nodded, leaning against the front door. “You did ask me to make other accommodations.”

  “Yes, but that was before...so have you made other arrangements or...”

  “I’ll be spending the next week with Tasha.”

  “The entire week?”

  “Yes.”

  She labored to conceal her dismay. “What about Kia?”

  “What about her?”

  “Surely she’s going to feel slighted.”

  He arched a brow. “You’re right. You’d better make that lunch in two weeks.”

  That would leave less than a week before he had to leave. Nice going, Kania. Not. “So you’re going to spend a week with each of them?”

  “That was my primary reason for returning to L.A. And isn’t that what you prefer?”

  “No,” she admitted. “I told you it was nice having a man around the house again.”

  “You did, but I think we both know you don’t quite trust me.”

  “I do.”

  “Then you’ll still trust me in two weeks.”

  She inhaled and then sighed. “Okay.”

  “Of course if you really want me to stay—”

  “No. Of course not. I’ll see you in two weeks.” She turned and walked down the hall to the kitchen. She opened the freezer and stood staring inside for several minutes before closing it without taking anything out for dinner.

  “Is there anything you want or need me to do before I go?”

  She moistened her lips before she turned to face him.

  He stood in the doorway, watching her.

  She met his gaze and then couldn’t look away. “You know I don’t want you to go.”
/>
  He nodded. “I know.”

  “But you’re going anyway.”

  “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “I think it’s best if I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I’m extremely horny and I doubt you’re prepared to do anything about that.”

  She glanced down at her hands before meeting his gaze again. “I...I could probably...”

  “That’s a very generous almost offer, but it’s been too long for anything less than vaginal penetration to satisfy me.”

  Lord did she know the feeling. By the time Hank left for Japan, it had already been nearly two months since they’d made love. And she missed the intimacy of sex. Although she always climaxed with her various vibrators, there was no substitute for sex with a man with big, warm hands and insistent lips that generated jolts of delight everywhere they touched before that first wonderful, delicious invasive penetration of a hard, lusty cock.

  Her pussy pulsed and she moistened her lips. “I...I could probably...”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want a sacrifice from you. I want and need lots of sex, freely and eagerly surrendered.”

  “And that’s what you expect from both of them?”

  “It’s what I always get.”

  “You make them sound like—”

  “I make them sound like what they are: confident, grown-ass women who know what they want and aren’t afraid to break any boundaries to get it.”

  “They’re not married. You can’t expect me to pretend that I’m not.”

  “What I expect is for you stop pretending that your marriage isn’t over and give me a chance to make you happy.”

  “I’ll decide when and if my marriage is over.”

  “You do that, Kania but don’t expect me to sit around taking cold showers while you do.” He narrowed his gaze. “I don’t want a blow-job or to be jerked off. I want and need pussy and that’s what I’m going to get. Unlike you, I’m not married.”

  Her cheeks burned and she struggled to keep her gaze tear-free. “You don’t have to be so damn crude or cruel.”

  He inhaled slowly. “You’re right. My apologies.”

  “I don’t’ want your apologies.”

  “You don’t want my cock neither but don’t want anyone else to have it either. What the fuck do you want, Kania?”

  “I want you to try to understand my struggles. And I want you to stay. Please.”