John (Guardian Defenders Book 3)

by Kris Michaels

  Shae bounced on her toes and snapped a left and then a right hook at the heavy bag. Her exercise regime as prescribed by the twins had toned her neglected muscles and she’d regained her strength and speed. She lobbed a combination of punches at the brown leather and lost herself in the strike and dance she’d performed for over twelve years. A spin and high kick followed by an arm up to block her imaginary opponent, followed by another flurry of punches and several knees and kicks.

  “Tuck your left elbow tighter,” Joy’s command barked out from behind her. Shae tucked it because she’d lost her form. She executed the last flurry again and maintained perfect form as she eviscerated her imaginary foe. She stopped, awash of sweat, and turned, putting her taped fists on her hips. “Nice work.” Joy nodded past her to the bag. “You can beat up a bag. Congratulations.”

  “Is that a challenge?” She hadn’t had a workout in the ring in over two years. Damn, almost three. It would feel good to get back to fighting form.

  “Soon. You have a couple more months of conditioning. When we hit the ring, I’m not going to hold back on you.”

  “I never thought you would. What brings you to the gym this late?” Most of the Guardian personnel took part in the early morning PT that the twins led, John included. She preferred the solitude of an almost-empty gym.

  “I was at logistics and saw you had some packages. I figured you’d still be here.” Joy nodded to the door and the five canvas bags full of items she’d ordered after Mike had told her how to place an order.

  “All of those are mine?”

  Joy grunted. “No, two are mine. Are you showering here or heading down to the cottage?”

  She’d gotten to know and understand this prickly woman over the last two months. That question was obviously an invitation to walk to the other side of the ranch with her. Not that Joy would ever admit it. She chuckled, “Cottage. Give me a minute to wipe down my equipment and take off this tape.”

  Joy watched her for a moment. “You’re good. Why did you stop working for the Mossad?”

  Shae blinked and paused from unwinding the tape from her feet. “The Mossad lost confidence in my ability.” She wadded the tape into a ball and pitched it into the garbage. “And after my last operation, I’ll admit I lost confidence in myself.”

  “So, you just going to stay here at the ranch for the rest of your life?” Joy picked up a bottle of disinfectant and a clean towel and sprayed the bag and wiped it down.

  Shae considered the question while she removed the tape from her hands. “I like what I’m doing with Mike and the twins. Going undercover isn’t for me anymore. I was… I was tortured and nearly dead when John and the others found me.” She wadded up the tape and tossed it into the garbage can.

  Joy tossed the towel she was using to the floor and sprayed the mat under the bag, using her foot to sop up the sweat and disinfectant. “I guess there is a point when we all make the determination not to go back out.”

  “What was your point?”

  Joy snorted. “I’m not there yet. Soon. I want… Well, life has changed. My objectives for my life have changed.”

  “Undercover operative?”

  Joy stopped and looked up at her. “Black door.”

  “Ah.” She nodded and pulled on her socks. Black door could mean any of a wide variety of assignments, but the meaning was clear. As she suspected, the cactus personality kept people away because the woman couldn’t have people close and do her job. Interesting that she was married to Dixon, though. The two of them didn’t make sense, at least from what she’d seen, although there was no doubt they loved each other. She shoved her feet into her tennis shoes. Opposites attracting and all that. Although she and John were more like mirror reflections. At least now.

  “Tell me you bought a coat,” Joy asked as they walked out of the gym.

  “I did. Amanda recommended a down coat.” She glanced down at the bags she was carrying. The largest box was probably the jacket.

  “Yeah, they tell you it gets cold, but damn it… their idea of cold is skewed. They plug in their fucking vehicles so the engine block doesn’t freeze solid.”

  Shae stopped and stared at the smaller woman. She wasn’t sure if Joy was lying to her or not. “You can’t be serious.”

  “One hundred percent. Last winter I only left the front of the fire to dive under the down comforter in our bedroom. That and a two-week trip to Aruba. I’m thinking about becoming a snowbird and heading south for the winter.”

  “Would Dixon go with you?”

  Joy snorted. “No, which is why I’m only thinking about it. This is his home. Mine too, now.” The woman stared out over the land. “A good place to live, to heal.”

  “It has been for me,” Shae agreed as they passed the main house. She nodded to the mansion. “That is an amazing house.”

  “You mean mansion,” Joy corrected her.

  “True.”

  “Frank and Amanda are the best people I’ve ever met,” Joy sighed. “There is a force field or magic around this place. It sucks people in, and they start believing in dreams.”

  “What’s your dream?” Shae asked without really considering the question.

  The woman stopped and cast a long look over the buildings, barns, and homes that dotted the other side of the ranch. “This. A home, a husband, maybe a family. Peace, safety, security.” The woman shrugged. “Off this ranch, the world continues to spiral, and the dregs of society rise to the top. Here, my faith in humanity is renewed.”

  Shae adjusted the bags’ handles in her grip as she took a breath of crisp, cold air. “Poetic.”

  “Ah, fuck you,” Joy groaned and started walking again.

  “Whatever, I meant the ranch, not your words,” Shae laughed at Joy’s grunt. “Come into the cottage. I have some single malt in one of these bags. I’ll grab a quick shower and then we can have a drink.”

  “Rain check. I have a purple box in my bag, too.” Joy wagged her eyes at Shae.

  “Oh.” She felt her face flush. “Well then, you have fun tonight.”

  “Oh, believe me, I will. Sooner or later, that man will hit ten.”

  “What?”

  “Nothing. Just have to appreciate tenacity sometimes.”

  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Well, thank God. If you did, we’d have to throw down. Anyway, I’ll catch you later. Keep up the rehab. We’ll spar.”

  “I’d enjoy that.”

  Joy turned and stared at her. “Yeah, I think you would. Maybe that’s why I like you.” The last part of the comment was said with some kind of wonder. She glanced up at the dark grey sky and sighed, “It’s going to rain or maybe snow tonight. Perfect night for the new purchases. Laters.”

  Shae chuckled as they diverged on the path. She did indeed have some lingerie in her purchases. John was going to come to her cottage for dinner tonight. They alternated spending the evening at his house or her cottage. He seemed to know she needed her independence, at least for a while yet. They’d talked in the last two months about her one day moving into his house. She wasn’t quite ready yet. Soon, but there was still a need inside her to have a safe place that was just hers. Jeremiah said it was a coping mechanism and they were working on why she felt she needed it.

  She opened the door and set her purchases on the small dining table before she dashed over to the fireplace and lit the fire that John always readied for her during the day. Not because she couldn’t do it herself, but because he wanted to do so. He always made sure she had plenty of firewood stacked beside the fireplace so she didn’t have to go out to retrieve more. She smiled and watched the kindling catch and grow ravenous. Her life was filled with his small affectionate gestures. He was charming and caring yet never suffocated her or made her feel… less. Her time in the pit had cost her dearly, yet John’s attention was filling the empty places, the places that were drained and devoid of anything but horrible memories. The warmth and caring he provided had warm
ed her as surely as the fire in the old fireplace was warming her now.

  He’d warned her the small cottage would turn into an icebox in the next month or so. The first days of October had been unusually warm, but everyone warned her about the cold that would be coming soon and staying. She surveyed her little bungalow. Even though it was a sturdy little structure, there were drafts from the old windows and from under the door. An electric heater to help the fireplace keep the small space warm would be part of her next order. She glanced at the clock. Velvet would be expecting her. The colt wasn’t on formula anymore as he’d been weaned at five months, but she still went down to visit and work with gentling him.

  She’d been on the ranch for six months, in the hospital for three months before that, but it seemed like yesterday that she’d curled up in the corner of that bed and wanted the world to go away. She stood and stared out the window toward John’s house. She’d traveled a twisted trail to get to this place. The cold permeated through her bones, less the chill from outside and more the memories that pushed forward in her thoughts. Even though her hands rubbed her arms, a deep-seated shiver wracked her entire body. If she hadn’t been folded into Guardian—and if John hadn’t been here—things could have turned out so differently. Thankfully, fate, providence, or perhaps luck had landed her in South Dakota. Whatever guiding hand, she was beyond fortunate. A small smile pulled the corners of her mouth upward. Life was worth living.

  Before she headed down to the barn, she needed to unpack her purchases. Two jackets and a heavy winter coat, lingerie, a bottle of scotch, three pair of jeans, undergarments, and five sweaters. Now that she knew the process, she’d make small weekly orders to flush out her anemic wardrobe. The lingerie had been a whim purchase, but she wanted to surprise John. She sent another quick look at the clock on the wall. In order to do that she needed to hurry.

  Shae smoothed her hair and glanced out the window. The drizzling rain had changed to small snowflakes about an hour ago. John hadn’t come home yet; the lights at the house remained dark. She expected him an hour ago. She set the little countertop oven on warm to keep their dinners edible. But she didn’t give a spark about the food, she was worried about John. The cell phone she’d been given when Jerimiah first started treating her was on the counter beside her, fully charged and completely silent.

  There were a hundred logical reasons for him to be late but, of course, her mind bypassed those and went to the illogical side of the equation immediately. Had he been thrown by his horse? Was there an accident with a piece of equipment? Had he been crushed by a bull? Trampled? The cattle weighed thousands of pounds. Lord, what would she do without him? It was too soon to feel this deeply… wasn’t it? She rubbed her arms. Even the thickness of her new sweater couldn’t prevent the cold that had nothing to do with the weather. Admitting that she had feelings for John hadn’t been hard. Hell, she’d confessed to them back in July when Jeremiah had asked what her intentions were. An amused and misplaced chuckle fell from her lips. God, without realizing it, she’d fallen in love with John, hadn’t she? The darkness of the house less than a hundred yards away scared the admission from her soul. He should be here. If he was late, he always called or texted. One of those small courtesies she’d grown accustomed to receiving. Was he okay? God, had his past caught up with him?

  She stopped and dropped her head back on her shoulders. This has to stop. She was a capable woman who’d been a decorated member of the Mossad. Expanding her lungs to pull a deep breath, she held it for a moment before she blew it out. You don’t work on assumptions. You don’t work with fears. All plans are made with known facts. Yes, it was snowing, but it was an environment that John knew and had worked in before. There were numerous reasons why he hadn’t called or texted.

  Right, because he’d been bucked off his horse and was in the cold without help. “Stop it!” The loud words split the silence of her little bungalow. She shook her head and walked over to the radio, turning the small box to the only station it received. The warm sound of the music filled the room and gave her something else to concentrate on. The flash of headlights on her back wall spun her. She pulled the curtain to the side and drew a relieved breath. “Finally.”

  She tossed on her new coat and jogged across the small space that separated them. John was just getting out of his truck and closing the door when she called his name. He spun just in time to catch her as she wrapped him in a hug.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” He tried to pull her away, but relief hadn’t cast out the fears that had been echoing in her mind. She held on tightly until he wrapped her in his arms. “Shae, what’s wrong?”

  “You’re late. It’s snowing. You didn’t call or text. I know it is stupid, but I was worried something had happened to you.”

  He held her tightly and rocked from side to side with her. His chest rumbled under her ear as he spoke, “I’m sorry for scaring you. I dropped my cell into one of the watering troughs. Fried it, it’s a paperweight now. I tried to get back before you came home, but Greg called me over when I got in and we had to bring in the vet for one of the bulls. We quarantined him from the other bulls and Doc is doing tests.”

  Shae leaned back and looked up at him. “I’m sorry.”

  “For what? Caring about me? Yeah, so not going to reprimand you for that.” He leaned down and kissed her as he drew his hands up her arms and cupped her face. She shivered, and this time it was because of the cold. “I need to take a shower; I’ll be over shortly.” He glanced at his watch. “Damn, I didn’t realize it was so late. No wonder you were upset. Should I grab a bite to eat here?”

  “I have dinner warming in the oven. It might be a little dry…”

  “I could eat an old boot right now. I’m starving. Give me fifteen minutes to chip the day off and wash it down the drain.”

  “I’ll see you then.” She lifted up and pressed a quick kiss on his lips. “Don’t keep me waiting too long.” With a wiggle of her eyebrows, she spun and jogged back to the cottage. Joy was right. Tonight was a great night to test out her new purchases.

  The hot water on his back managed to thaw him a bit. The day had been harder than he’d led her to believe. The trough was actually a stock pond, his horse, Dancer, had shied from a branch, and she’d dumped him into the water. He’d worked the rest of the day wet and cold. Dancer had been uptight all day—he should have anticipated her being spooky. It was her first day away from Vader, her colt. Stupid, he was daydreaming instead of paying attention to his horse. Rookie mistake that netted him a wet ass and a broken phone.

  He turned and shoved his head under the steaming hot water. The reason he’d been daydreaming met him as soon as he’d pulled the truck in the driveway.

  Shae.

  She was a constant in his thoughts. The reaction to him being late gave him hope that his love for her wasn’t growing in a vacuum. He grabbed a bar of soap and lathered up while his mind hashed over that thought. He’d known for a while now he loved her, but he’d be damned if he’d push her. Everything in their relationship was predicated on her comfort, but he wanted to go to sleep with her in his arms and wake up tangled up in her. A committed long-term relationship, marriage even. Which was… Well, it was unnerving. He barely remembered his mother; his father would never be nominated for Father of the Year, and everything he knew about family was screwed up. Yeah, he and Lori had a good relationship, but toward the end, she was distant. Or hell, who knew, he might have been pulling away from her crazy drive for more. More money, more respect, more of everything.

  No, he wasn’t going to color the relationship he had with his sister through any kind of filter, even a well-meaning one. They were what they were. Lori had her faults just like he did. Her life was cut short and he’d be damned if he’d allow anything to taint his memories. They weren’t a greeting card family, but they were still family, no matter how dysfunctional.

  Memories of Lori’s death still ached, but maybe now they would no longer dominate his thoughts. Yes
, he wanted answers. Damn him, he needed answers, but now he had Shae in his life. Perhaps he’d be able to let Lori rest in peace and learn to live with the fact that he might not ever know why things happened as they had.

  Five minutes later he was knocking on that little door. It opened the second his fist left the wood. “Come in, it is so cold.” Shae pulled him in and shut the door. “Dinner is ready. Go stand by the fire and get warm while I get it on the table.”

  He chuckled, “It isn’t that cold. Yet.” He shrugged out of his lined denim jacket. “Smells amazing.”

  “I tried Miss Amanda’s shepherd’s pie recipe.” She pulled out a flat cast iron pan from the small oven. “Well, actually, I warmed up her recipe.” A blush ran across her nose and cheeks.

  “I’m sure it is delicious.” Hell, he’d eat sawdust and tell her it was the best thing he’d ever eaten if it would make her happy. He hung up his coat and pulled out her chair for her. She smiled and sat down. She served him before she took a serving for herself. They ate and he told her about Dancer’s dunking. Her inelegant snort and muffled laughter as he described the shock of landing in a foot of cold water was worth the humiliation of admitting his horse had unseated him.

  “You worked in wet pants?”

  “All day.”

  She tried, really tried, but the laughter was stronger. “Hey!” He spread his hands wide. “I’m chafed, you should take pity on me.”

  “Oh, you poor baby. Do you want me to kiss it better?” Shae lifted up and held out her hand to him.

  “Well, if you’re offering…” John waggled his eyebrows at her, but the laughter stopped when her sweater came off. “Oh… damn…” She was wearing—hell, what did they call it?—a bustier. Her breasts were held up, full and soft, and the material cinched at her waist. The heavy seams were a darker red than the lighter see-through fabric, but all of it dipped enticingly into her jeans. “Sweet heavens.” He reached out and traced the top of the cup that held her breasts. “Beautiful.” He lifted his eyes to hers.