Mortality Bites Box Set [Books 1-6]

by Vance, Ramy

  “Clever girl,” General Shouf repeated. It was really starting to tick me off, probably like it ticked off the velociraptors in Jurassic Park.

  And when velociraptors get ticked off, they eat you.

  “Hey, Windshield for a Forehead. Call me ‘clever girl’ again and I’m going to show you just how stupid I can be.” I took two loud steps in her direction just so she could hear my posturing.

  She clicked, then nodded. “My apologies,” she said, and I noted that when I threatened his superior officer, the grunt didn’t even move. If anything, he smiled as if he wanted to see me deck this asshole of a general.

  General Shouf clicked twice more before saying, “They have a leader.” She called up a photo of an average looking angel … and, of course, when I say average looking, I mean he was drop dead, I just want to die in your arms, gorgeous. Tall with a muscular build, lush blond hair, a chiseled chin and lips that wouldn’t just kiss you … they’d ignite you. Just as I was getting all googly eyed, the picture disappeared and with a shattering click from General Shouf, reality came rushing back in.

  “Who?” I asked.

  “It was Gabriel—”

  I pointed at the screen where the angel had been.

  Jean shook his head. “No, that’s not Gabriel … the archangel is gone. Dead. That image is of their new leader; a lesser angel that goes by the name Daniel.”

  Jean stopped talking and I made a go on gesture.

  The soldier shrugged.

  “I’m afraid that’s about all we know. A name, a picture and a vague idea of their mission. We also know that more and more Others have been gathering in Okinawa. Why?” General Shouf said, asking the question on my lips. “Again, we do not know. The only clue we have is one single phrase that comes up time and again: Three Who Are One.”

  ↔

  So that was what this was all about. Three Who Are One, a rallying cry I didn’t even know existed until Kenji told me about it.

  But even I couldn’t deny noticing that phrase being thrown around as Others of all types gathered. Still, not all of them were in the let’s-get-organized-and-kill-us-some-humans camp. Others like Harry the yeti, who I met at Naha airport, were genuinely on holiday. But this couldn’t be a coincidence; whatever drew Harry to Okinawa at this time was the same draw that these homicidal meres were rallying behind.

  And all of this somehow connected to where my soul was being held captive, which brought me to another question that had been bothering me from the beginning of all this. When the gods left, my soul was returned to my body the second I became human. But this time around, even though I was only a vampire for a few hours, when I became human once again, my soul never returned. It got stuck somewhere. That didn’t make sense … it should have come back like it did the first time, shouldn’t it?

  “OK,” I said thinking of my mystic map. “And you think all this might have something to do with my map.”

  “We believe that they are looking for the Museum.”

  “And she believes,” Jean said in a way that clearly conveyed the message that he didn’t agree, “that your invisible map might lead us to the Museum.”

  “Bit of a stretch, don’t you think? I mean, coincidence much.”

  “Totally agree,” Jean said.

  Shouf clicked twice in annoyance. “Coincidence is the weak mind’s excuse for not understanding. When you have lived as long as I have, you learn that coincidences are simply connections whose meaning remain hidden.”

  “And if a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound,” I said. Shouf, for all her eyelessness, gave me a look that said, ‘what the hell are you on about?’

  “What?” I said. “You’re not the only one who can throw out pointless, unprovable ideas as wisdom.”

  Jean let out a guffaw that he poorly hid behind the clearing of his throat.

  “Besides, you’re basing all this on my map,” I said holding out my arm that, to them, was as tattooless as a tattooless arm could be. “And for all we know this map is some kind of cosmic joke that’s leading me on a wild goose chase.”

  Jean chuckled again before saying, “Maybe, but whatever is happening is supposed to happen at New Year’s. And whatever that event is, the ones in The Three Who Are One camp believe it will lead them to the Museum.”

  General Shouf nodded in agreement.

  “Why? Because they’re looking for weapons that can turn the tide of this quiet war,” I said, answering my own question.

  “Clever girl,” Shouf said. I briefly thought about standing up and making good on my earlier threat. But I didn’t because the truth was, I did feel clever for figuring it out. “Weapons are only part of it. The appearance of the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan will serve as a rallying cry to other Others to join the fight. But we believe there is more. We believe that within the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan lies a being of power that they believe will lead them to victory,” General Shouf’s voice shattered.

  “The Three Who Are One,” Jean said. “In other words, we’re in a Call of Cthulhu or McGuffin situation.”

  “You’ll have to forgive me, but I don’t speak Geek,” I said, even though I thought I knew exactly what he was talking about.

  “OK,” he said, taking his feet off the desk and standing, “Call of Cthulhu is the scenario where they’re trying to summon a god or powerful Other to lead them. The Three Who Are One. Or maybe they think there’s an item inside that place powerful enough to force one or all of the gods back. And if we’re in the McGuffin scenario, there’s an item in there that represents a god, and whichever Other possesses it will have the street cred to lead the others.”

  “Either way, it’s a unifying front.”

  “Yep,” Jean said. “And El Hefe wants to offer you an indecent proposal.”

  “Ay, there’s the rub,” I said.

  “More like rug burn,” Jean said.

  General Shouf clicked twice before saying, “We register you, give you all the resources you need, a very generous salary, equipment, troops, status, power, and you help us find the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan and stop the impending war or—”

  “I’ll do it,” I said.

  “Excuse me?”

  “No need for the threats part of your pitch. I’ll do it.”

  “You will?” Jean said, unable to hide the surprise in his voice.

  “I will. Now where do I sign?”

  I Really Wanted to Use the Stick

  “You’re not even curious about what the threats were?”

  Now it was my turn to sigh as if bored. “Let me guess, Jean-Luc.” The soldier cringed at the second part of his moniker. Man, that guy really hated his name. “You guys are going to hold Egya, Deirdre and Keiko in some kind of Other Guantanamo. If that doesn’t get me to comply, then you’ll plaster my name all over the place, branding me as a villain, before freezing my assets, getting me kicked out of school and forcing me to move in with my mother.”

  “Your mother is still alive?”

  “Sadly,” I said.

  “Family, huh? My mother-in-law came back from the dead just to annoy me,” he said with a shrug in an I-feel-your-pain kind of way. “But with regard to the threats, you pretty much nailed it. We didn’t think of the school part, but the rest is pretty on point. Clever girl.” He did a half-decent imitation of General Shouf’s voice as he spoke. “Still, as grateful as we are that you so readily want to join our merry band, I’m a little suspicious at how eager you are. So riddle me this: why are you so willing to help us?”

  “Who said I’m helping you? There’s something there that I want. Something Eyeballs over there saw—or rather, didn’t see—in me. I want my soul back and if you’re going to help me get it, then I don’t really care about the rest. You can keep whatever else you find in there. Deal?”

  Jean looked at General Shouf and I could see the wheels turning. He didn’t believe me. Not completely. But in a game of winner takes all, believing me was seconda
ry to getting what they wanted.

  General Shouf clicked twice before nodding.

  “Great,” I said. “Then let’s get started. First order of business, free my friends, then let’s call up a map or two and try to figure this out.”

  “Actually,” Jean said, standing now, “we have a lead. Got lucky, really. Thanks to you,” he added as he pulled out a walkie talkie. “Bring them in.”

  Then he turned to me. “Seems you’re not the only one who knows about the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan.” The door into the room opened and in shuffled Kenji and Keiko. “It appears these two also know all about it, too.”

  ↔

  The two of them shuffled into the room. Keiko was wearing ankle cuffs that prevented her from taking wide steps and Kenji had a mesh of chains draped over it that slowed down the nurikabe’s already awkward gait. They were escorted by two Japanese armed guards that looked like extras in an Austin Powers movie—complete with the charcoal-gray caps and uniform. I noted from the way they carried their guns, and how they positioned themselves behind Kenji and Keiko, that these two were clearly well-trained. But despite being professionals, neither looked at Keiko, their attention on the floor behind her.

  They were probably thrown off by the disturbing fact that they were guarding a living wall.

  Once they were in the center of the room, the guards took three steps back to await further orders.

  “Ahh,” shattered General Shouf, “our guests have arrived.”

  “Guests?” Keiko said, giving the aigamuchab a scowl. “Guests do not arrive in chains. HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?”

  One of the Japanese guards grimaced as Keiko shouted the words. Apparently he agreed with her that our hosts had no decency.

  “Very well,” General Shouf said and gestured for the grimacing guard to remove their restraints. The guard did so with unabashed eagerness, first removing Keiko’s restraints, then Kenji’s.

  “Better?” General Shouf shattered.

  Keiko knelt and rubbed her ankles. “Marginally,” she said with all the defiance of a mountain lion. I saw a lot of Blue’s strength in her and feelings of a distant past bubbled to the surface. I knew that I’d protect this girl with the same ferocity I had once protected her grandmother.

  “Good,” General Shouf said. “Jean, if you will.”

  “Oh, yeah … OK,” Jean said. From the look of him, he had been paying attention to the scene with the detached interest of a man daydreaming about being somewhere else, anywhere else, and General Shouf’s undeniable voice brought him back to the present.

  He grabbed the remote and showed them the same scene he had shown me: the old news reels, Gabriel’s attack, and finally the impending assault on the base.

  After that was done, he said, “The fate of the world rests in your hands, yadda, yadda, yadda.” When he was done, he tossed the remote down and placed his feet back on the table.

  Whoever this guy was, he had a lot of clout for General Shouf to tolerate his insubordination without so much as a word of protest.

  And whoever this Jean guy was, his passive-aggressive stance showed me that he clearly did not like what was going on here.

  Not that Jean’s complete lack of reverence was noted by either Keiko or Kenji. They both stood still, watching the screen, before Keiko said, “Stop the Three Who Are One.”

  This got Jean’s attention. “There it is again. Three Who Are One. What the hell does it mean and why are Other communities on the island up in arms about it?” Jean narrowed his eyes. “And who are you to know such a word? We’ve done the tests. You’re human. Another ex-vampire?”

  Keiko shook her head. “Just one friendly with the Other communities. You should try it sometime—might get what you want without having to wear funny shirts.”

  “What is it about this shirt? We’re on a tropical island, people,” Jean said, shrugging off the insult. “OK, so what does it mean?”

  “I don’t know. But the Others speak of it in hushed tones. From what I know, it refers to something or someone. Either way, whatever it is, most Others are afraid of it.”

  “And those who aren’t afraid?”

  “They welcome it,” Keiko said.

  “Humph. What about you, Mr. Wall?” Jean asked. “Any insights as to what Three Who Are One is?”

  Kenji’s surface took on a stony exterior.

  “Look,” Jean said, “we’re the good guys. We’re the ones trying to stop the big bad from, you know, bad-ing.”

  “Bad-ing?” I said.

  “It’s a word. And it means evil spreading, evil maiming, evil killing. Because even though I don’t have the slightest clue what Three Who Are One is, I do know that it’s not good for anyone. Those meres swimming toward us right now, the mini-army hell-bent on helping their—or his—or her—or its—arrival, they slaughtered a fleet of fishing boats off the Philippine coast a few hours ago. Why? Those boats weren’t military and they hadn’t spotted them. They couldn’t hurt them in any way. But they did it anyway because they got off on it. Given they’re the ones that want to meet the Three Who Are One, I’m guessing we’re not talking about rainbows and unicorns.”

  “Utsuki,” Kenji spat.

  “Me, lying?” Jean said, putting a hand on his chest in mock offense. In his hand was the remote, which he clicked. The scene turned to the wreckage of several wooden boats. Even though the cameras were from the ships’ bows, we could see several sharks swimming about. “Nineteen dead. Not a total loss. Two survived by climbing onto some floating debris. They’re the ones that told us they were attacked by meres who destroyed their boats and cut them so that their blood would attract the sharks. Evil shit, which makes whatever they’re after evil shit, too.”

  Jean clicked the remote and the screen went blank. “And before you go pointing at us and saying that we’re no better, keep in mind that we don’t slaughter the innocent.”

  “Nor do we make any decisions unilaterally,” General Shouf said, pointing at the Japanese guards. “As you can see, we are already working with the locals. This is an international effort.” She offered an eyeless smile, which came off less friendly and more maniacal monster-ess than anything else. “And all we need is one small thing from you,” she said, approaching Kenji. “The location of the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan.”

  “I don’t know what you are talking about,” Kenji said.

  “Do not lie to me. My soldier said that you showed this girl a location before explaining what the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan was. You know where it is.”

  “I do not,” Kenji said.

  General Shouf shrugged, stepping away from the door and grabbing something off the table where Jean’s feet so rudely sat. “In all my years wandering the heavens and hells, I have never met a nurikabe before. I have heard of your kind, but to actually stand face-to-face—well, surface-to-surface—with you now … it is an honor. You are truly a rare form of Other. The legendary Obstructer of the Ways and even in this GoneGod World, I see that you live up to your fabled purpose even now.”

  The aigamuchab stepped closer to the wall, concealing whatever she had picked up. “Japanese myths. What sets them apart from so many other cultures is that they always found magic in the mundane. A demon whose purpose is to wash beans, another whose mischief lies solely in moving one’s pillow to cause discomfort, a third who cleans toilets with their tongue and, of course, our dear friend the nurikabe. A living wall.” She opened her palm, revealing what was in it.

  From where I stood, it looked like Shouf held a key. A simple, plain-looking key and from the way Kenji moved, the wall couldn’t have been more afraid. It made sense; Others had weaknesses: silver for weres, crosses for vamps, iron for fae and (apparently) keys for nurikabe.

  Kenji shuffled back, and with a nod from General Shouf, the two guards took a step forward, their guns lifted in Kenji’s direction.

  This got Jean’s attention and he stood up, his hand reaching into his back pocket for—what? A gun? A knife? Whatever it was
, he kept it there as he readied himself to attack.

  “Yamete,” Keiko shouted, putting herself between the guards and Kenji.

  The guards looked at the young woman, then at General Shouf before lowering their guns.

  This sent General Shouf into a rage as she shattered in Japanese, “WHAT ARE YOU DOING? LIFT UP YOUR GUNS.”

  The aigamuchab spoke the language perfectly, but the guards didn’t obey, continuing to keep their rifles at their sides.

  Jean didn’t hesitate. He pulled out what was in his hand—a pair of cuffs—and in a fluid motion I doubted I would have been capable of as a vampire, let alone a human, struck down the two guards, disarming them before cuffing them. Then he lifted one of their rifles at Keiko. “Whatever mumbo jumbo you used on them won’t work on me, missy.”

  Missy? Did he serious say missy in the middle of a fight? Oh, brother.

  Time to play diplomat with my fists, I thought as I took a step forward, but before I could get any closer, General Shouf did a roundhouse kick in my direction. I had expected her to try and knock me down with her heel, and lifted my hands in defense, but at the last second, the aigamuchab took a step forward, the back of her knee connected with my neck, as she twisted, pulling me to the ground.

  She was grabbling me with her legs, Scarlett Johansson’s Black Widow style. Damn, she was agile. General Shouf (and Scarlett), that is.

  On the ground, I cried out, “Hold on, hold on! I’m on your side, remember?” But given the position I was in, the general clearly didn’t remember. “I want to find the Kami Subete Hakubutsukan as badly as you. Worse, even,” I said.

  Neither the general or Jean moved. “Let me talk to Kenji. I’ll convince him. And if I can’t, then I’ll lie down right where you have me now and we can pick up from this spot.”

  There was a long pause as General Shouf considered this. Then with a click, she let me go. Jean lowered his gun, picked up the other one and pointed for the guards to leave with them.