Writers on the Storm

by Christy Cauley

  Chapter 28

  The News

 

  The next week at school was excruciating. The closer Christmas break came, the antsier everyone got, even the teachers. None of them wanted to give homework over the holiday break, so they were filling up class time with busy work rather than teaching the students anything particularly valuable. Admeta and Cornelia were so frustrated with Writers on the Storm that they didn’t bother to go to the final meeting of the semester. They went to visit Mrs. Hakim instead. Admeta had already cleared it with Daniel.

  There was still snow on the ground as the girls set off after school. They were talking non-stop about their mission trip and what they were going to do. A block before they reached the Hakim house, Admeta stopped dead in her tracks.

  “Can I tell you something, CC?”

  “Yeah, sure,” Cornelia replied a little hurt that Admeta even had to ask.

  “No, I mean if I tell you this, you have to swear to not tell another living soul.”

  Cornelia got serious, “O.k.” she said.

  “I mean it, CC, you can’t even tell Chad. Swear it.”

  “O.k. I swear,” Cornelia replied with concern.

  “O.k. but if you tell someone, I swear I’ll…”

  “I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone, Admeta. What’s going on?”

  “Well, you know my family is from El Salvador, right?”

  “Yeah,” Cornelia replied.

  “Well, that’s where my mom is and when we go on the mission trip I’m going to try to find her.”

  “Oh my God,” Cornelia replied.

  “That’s all you have to say? ‘Oh my God?’ What does that even mean?” Admeta replied with attitude.

  “I don’t know. It means you caught me by surprise. Do you even know where to look for your mom anyway?”

  “Not exactly, but I have some ideas. I’ll figure it out.”

  “You mean we’ll figure it out.”

  “Oh, no, I’m not dragging you into this, CC.”

  “You just try and stop me,” Cornelia said and then the two stood staring each other in the eyes.

  “Look, CC, I appreciate the offer but this is something I have to do on my own.”

  “No you don’t, Admeta. That’s your problem. You always think every cross is yours to bear. Like when you knew about Mrs. Hakim’s cancer and you didn’t tell anyone. That’s not good for you. You have friends who are willing to help you. You just have to trust them. Trust me,” Cornelia said.

  Admeta looked at Cornelia for a moment and replied, “I just don’t want to get anyone into trouble.”

  “After the last few months we’ve had, how much more trouble could we get in?” Cornelia asked with a laugh.

  “Hey, speak for yourself,” Admeta said and smiled back.

  “Let’s just play it by ear. We’ll figure out a plan when we get down there and go from there. O.k.?”

  “O.k., CC, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

  “Consider me warned.”

  “Why do you want to help me?” Admeta asked out of curiosity.

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean why would you want to risk getting in trouble to help me find my deadbeat mom?”

  “Do you really have to ask? You’re my best friend, Addy. That’s what friends do.” Cornelia put her arms around Admeta and Admeta even hugged her back for a few seconds.

  “O.k., o.k. you don’t have to get all gay on me,” Admeta said. Cornelia furrowed her brow.

  “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it, CC. No offense to your mom or anything. I was just joking. It was a bad joke. I’ll try to think of something better next time.”

  “It’s o.k. Old habits are hard to break. I know that better than anyone. Let’s just get inside. I’m freezing!”

  The girls ran the last block and raced to the doorbell. Admeta won because Cornelia was wearing heels. The girls were both stunned when Talibah answered the door with a huge smile on her face. She was no longer tattered and messy. She was wearing a beautiful bright blue robe and matching hijab. Cornelia thought she looked like an Arabian princess.

  “Come in, girls, come in!” Talibah said, excitedly and she put her arms around both girls and led them to the coat hanger. “Please hang up your things.”

  “Talibah, do you live here now?” Cornelia asked and ducked an elbow from Admeta who always thought she was being too nosy.

  “Yes, yes, I will tell you all about it over tea. Come, come,” she said pointing to the parlour where the girls had visited Mrs. Hakim many times.

  The room was empty and Talibah asked the girls to sit down. They sat on the couch with the wedding quilt and Talibah excused herself and ran off to the kitchen.

  “Wow, I can’t believe Talibah is living here. That’s awesome,” Cornelia said, but Admeta was quiet. Cornelia wondered if Admeta was angry with Mrs. Hakim for not telling her about the new addition to her family. Or if she might be a little jealous of Talibah since, up until that moment, she had been the teenager closest to Mrs. Hakim.

  Just then Mrs. Hakim walked in the room. She was looking radiant, so unlike the worn down woman they had visited all those weeks. Her skin was no longer pale, but a perfect shiny olive color. Her robe was a brilliant, blinding white with jewels and beads hand embroidery down the center and her hijab matched perfectly. She was smiling a smile Cornelia had never seen. It was a smile that Admeta missed so badly that she began to tear up.

  “Oh my dear, what is wrong?” Mrs. Hakim said, rushing to sit beside Admeta and putting her arms around her.

  “Nothing, Mrs. H.,” Admeta said, brushing away her tears. “It’s stupid. I’m sorry.”

  “Nothing can be stupid coming from you, Admeta, tell Mrs. Hakim what is wrong, will you?” Mrs. Hakim asked. Cornelia noticed that her accent was thicker than ever. She wondered if she had been too sick before to properly pronounce her words, but she was too worried about Admeta to speculate.

  “It’s nothing, really,” Admeta objected.

  “Admeta, I have known you many months and I have not known you to cry for no reason at all. You cannot fool me, my dear,” Mrs. Hakim said and patted Admeta gently on the back.

  “God, it’s so stupid,” Admeta protested but she saw that Mrs. Hakim wasn’t going to let up until she spilled her guts.

  “O.k.,” she conceded. “It’s just that I haven’t seen you looking so…” she tried to find the words.

  “Well?” Cornelia offered, blankly. Admeta could not continue, but she nodded her head in agreement.

  “Oh, is that all, my dear?” Mrs. Hakim asked. “Then do not dare shed another tear over me, Admeta. There is no need,” she said, smiling. Admeta pulled away from her embrace and looked shocked for a moment.

  “Do you mean…” Admeta began to ask. Cornelia just looked on with confusion.

  “Yes, my dear. My cancer is in remission,” she said with a huge grin.

  Admeta lurched at Mrs. Hakim, hugging her with all of her might, but Cornelia looked shell shocked. Admeta told Mrs. Hakim how happy she was for her. She asked a million questions. “Is it gone forever? Can it come back? What is remission?” Mrs. Hakim explained that her body was free of any cancer cells but that there was always a possibility it could return, but she was going to take care of herself and stay as healthy as she can and live in the present. She was going to get a check up every month for a while and eventually it would be every year, just to make sure the cancer was still gone. The two embraced again and then Admeta turned and looked at Cornelia.

  “Isn’t that great news, CC?!” she asked, happily. Cornelia looked at her as if she hadn’t understood the question. Then she looked at Mrs. Hakim and her eyes grew narrow as if she was angry.

  “CC?” Admeta asked, wondering what was wrong with her friend.

  Cornelia looked at her teacher and shouted, “Liar!”

  “CC!” Admeta exclaimed, now angry with
her friend.

  “Cornelia, dear, why not tell me what is troubling you?” Mrs. Hakim asked very calmly as if she expected that sort of reaction from Cornelia.

  “You’re lying. I know you are. You’re just trying to protect us from the truth, but you can’t. You can’t. It’s going to catch up with you. It’s going to catch up with all of us. You can’t stop it,” Cornelia said and Admeta looked at her wide-eyed thinking her friend had finally gone over the edge.

  “I am in remission, Cornelia. That is a fact,” Mrs. Hakim tried to reassure her.

  “It’s a lie,” Cornelia said, standing up. “Remission is a lie people with cancer tell you so you’ll stop worrying and go on living your life like nothing is wrong. Then they go and die on you and leave you alone. You’re just like her! You’re a liar!” Cornelia yelled and Admeta and Mrs. Hakim both stood up. Admeta tried to grab Cornelia to shake some sense into her, but Mrs. Hakim interceded. She grabbed Cornelia gently by the arm and led her back to the couch to sit down. Admeta followed.

  “Cornelia, my dear, I know that cancer took someone you love but that is not always the case. Some people live, Cornelia. Not everyone dies.”

  “It’s all lies,” Cornelia said, now softly as tears ran down her face. “Lies,” she repeatedly quietly.

  “Cornelia, I cannot tell you that I will never have cancer again. And I cannot tell you that if I do get it again I can beat it again. No one can know that. But I can assure that right now as I speak to you my body is cancer free. It does not mean I am cured, but it means I am no longer sick. Do you understand?” Mrs. Hakim asked.

  “Are you sure?” Cornelia asked.

  “Yes, I am quite certain,” Mrs. Hakim replied and Cornelia began to cry harder. Mrs. Hakim cradled her like a child until she stopped weeping. Admeta was confused, but she put her hand on her friend’s shoulder to comfort her. Then Talibah walked in the room with a beautiful silver tray filled with tea and crumpets.

  “Oh my,” Talibah said when she saw Cornelia. “Should I come back later?”

  “No, no, Talibah, dear, come in and join us. We were just having, how do you say, girl talk?” Mrs. Hakim said and smiled at Talibah and Admeta.

  “It is now time to dry your eyes, Cornelia, for you have nothing to fear. For now you may rest easy. We all can. I promise,” Mrs. Hakim said and gave Cornelia a tissue. Cornelia wiped her face and nose and threw the tissue in the trash can next to the couch. She seemed satisfied with Mrs. Hakim’s explanation and didn’t want to make a scene in front of Talibah.

  “Mrs. H. just told us the good news,” Admeta said to Talibah who was confused by the whole situation.

  “Oh, isn’t it wonderful?” She asked, smiling again.

  “It’s unbelievable,” Cornelia offered and Admeta looked at her quizzically.

  “It’s the best news ever,” Admeta said with much more enthusiasm than her friend.

  “I wanted to blurt it out the second I saw you but I knew Samantha would want to tell you herself,” Talibah said and smiled at Mrs. Hakim. Then she poured everyone tea and told them to help themselves to crumpets. Everyone took their tea but only Mrs. Hakim took a crumpet.

  “Thank you, Talibah,” Mrs. Hakim said. “I think you young ladies will also be glad to know that Daniel and I are Talibah’s foster parents.”

  “That’s great!” Admeta said, still over the moon about Mrs. Hakim’s remission. Talibah and Mrs. Hakim smiled but Cornelia was still in a state of shock.

  The women made some idle chit chat for a few minutes, but Cornelia remained silent. Mrs. Hakim decided to let her come around in her own time and did not push the issue. She gave Admeta a few knowing looks when she thought Admeta might say something too. Talibah was so happy to be included that she didn’t really notice Cornelia’s odd mood.

  After a short period of time Cornelia stood up out of the blue and announced that she had to go. She had forgotten that she had homework she had to do and Veronica would punish her if she didn’t get it done. Then she darted to the foyer to get her coat. Admeta started to say that no one was assigning homework because it was the last week before break and everyone was taking it easy, but Mrs. Hakim smiled at her and Admeta took the hint that she should keep quiet.

  Everyone said good-bye to Cornelia who couldn’t get out of the house fast enough. When she got out on the porch she began to breathe rapidly. She ran down the walkway and turned onto the sidewalk, letting the gate flap behind her. She could hear her heart beating and her feet hitting the icy pavement. She could have fallen, but she didn’t care. All she wanted to do was get away from that house as fast as she could.

  When she arrived at the school to phone her mother she was hyperventilating. The annoyed secretary gave her a brown paper bag to breathe into. The secretary phoned Veronica and a few minutes later Cornelia was on her way home. It was all she could think about. She thought if she got home everything would be alright.

  Veronica knew her daughter well enough not to ask her what was going on. She knew she would just end up in a fight because Cornelia was agitated. When they got home, Cornelia ran to her room without a word. Veronica hung up her coat and called Michelle for advice.

  Michelle thought she should confront the issue head on instead of allowing Cornelia to have a fit. Veronica reluctantly agreed but she wanted to wait a little while. Michelle told her that now was as good a time as any. Veronica finally gave in and went up to Cornelia’s room.

  She knocked on the door but got no answer. “CC, it’s me,” she said in the hopes that Cornelia would answer the door. Nothing.

  “CC, you’re going to have to talk about whatever is going on eventually, so you might as well open the door now and save us both some time,” Veronica pleaded. Nothing.

  Veronica tried the door and to her surprise it was unlocked so she very slowly opened the door and walked inside. Cornelia was sitting on the bed holding Daruma in one hand and a black sharpie in the other. She was staring at the little doll with confusion. Veronica could see the pain behind her eyes.

  “CC, why don’t you tell me what’s going on, maybe I can help?” Veronica asked as she approached the bed.

  “She lived,” Cornelia said in an odd, soft voice.

  “What do you mean? Who lived?”

  “Mrs. Hakim. She’s alive.”

  “Well I should hope she’s alive. What happened?” Veronica asked confused. Cornelia was still staring at Daruma, contemplating her next move. Her voice was shallow and monotone.

  “Mrs. Hakim had breast cancer. We’ve been lying to everyone for months. She didn’t want anyone to know,” Cornelia said.

  “Oh, CC,” Veronica began.

  “No, it’s fine, she’s alive,” Cornelia replied blithely. “She says she’s in remission.”

  “She says?” Veronica asked. “Don’t you believe her?”

  “Why should I?!” Cornelia screamed, turning toward her mother. “No one lives. How could she be in remission? Everyone dies, mom. Everyone.” Veronica sat on the bed next to Cornelia and put her arm around her shoulder.

  “You’re right, honey, everyone dies, but not everyone dies from cancer,” she said.

  “How do you know?” Cornelia asked.

  “What?” Veronica was confused. “CC, people survive cancer all the time. Just because your grandmother…” Veronica began but Cornelia cut her off abruptly.

  “I don’t want to talk about her!” Cornelia screamed with tears suddenly streaming down her face.

  “Could that be what’s really wrong, CC?”

  “What do you mean?” Cornelia asked.

  “Well, could it be that you’re angry that your teacher lived and your grandmother didn’t? Maybe you’re angry…”

  “Mom! How could you say something like that? I’m not mad at Mrs. Hakim for living!”

  “That’s not what I said, CC. You can be happy that Mrs. Hakim lived and still be angry that your grandmother died. It would even be o.k. if you were mad at Go
d for taking your grandmother while He spared your teacher.”

  “There is no god!” Cornelia screamed, now sobbing.

  “O.k., CC. It’s o.k.,” Veronica said, patting Cornelia on the back. They sat in silence for a while then Veronica said, “You know, CC, You’re allowed to be happy that your teacher lived and still grieve for your grandmother. There’s nothing wrong with that.” She had hit the nail on the head.

  “But it’s not right,” Cornelia said.

  “Sure it is, CC. One has nothing to do with the other. Your grandmother had her battle and she lost and we’re all sad. We all miss her. But your teacher fought the battle and won and we can be happy about that. We should be happy about that. It’s wonderful news.”

  “I just feel like…”

  “Like you’re being disloyal to grandma?” Veronica asked and CC nodded. “Being happy for your teacher has nothing to do with your feelings for your grandmother, CC. They’re two different people. Your grandmother would want you to be happy for Mrs. Hakim. She beat cancer. Not everyone can say that,” she paused and grabbed Cornelia by the shoulders. “Look at me, CC, it’s o.k. Be happy for your teacher. Your grandmother would have been happy for her too.”

  “Really?” Cornelia asked, trying to stop the flow of tears.

  “Really,” her mother replied. “I’m sorry, CC, I have to go to an open house. Are you going to be o.k. alone?”

  “Yeah, mom, I’ll be fine,” Cornelia said and she tried to manage a smile.

  “I’m happy about Mrs. Hakim.”

  “Please don’t tell anyone I told you. She didn’t want anyone to know.”

  “I won’t tell anyone, CC.”

  “Not even Michelle,” Cornelia demanded.

  “Not even Michelle,” Veronica answered and then walked out the door. A few minutes later Cornelia could hear the SUV pulling out of the driveway. She wanted to call Chad, but she had already broken Mrs. Hakim’s confidence by telling her mother, so she called Amanda instead.

  Amanda was beyond elated to hear that Mrs. Hakim was going to be alright. Cornelia told her what Veronica had said about being allowed to be happy for Mrs. Hakim and still grieve for her grandmother.

  “For sure,” Amanda replied. For such a smart girl, Cornelia thought Amanda had a terrible way with words sometimes.

  “I’m still grounded from the phone so I should probably get off of here. I have a lot of homework,” Cornelia said. And before Amanda could say that no one was assigning homework that week Cornelia had already hung up.

  When she was finished talking to Amanda she was calm and feeling better. Veronica had assured her that she would not be insulting her grandmother’s memory by being happy for Mrs. Hakim. Even though she still felt guilty, she knew what had to be done.

  She took the sharpie that was in her right hand and she very carefully filled in the second eye belonging to Daruma, the ugly little monk who had been so judgmental of her all those months.

  She had wished for Mrs. Hakim to get better and she did. She owed Daruma an eye. When she finished and held him in the last light of day peeking through the window she thought he looked different. Not just because he now had two eyes. There was something different about his demeanor. He seemed softer somehow. Cornelia liked this new look. When Cornelia went to sleep that night, she held Daruma in her arms and cried herself to sleep. They were tears of joy for Mrs. Hakim and tears of grief for her grandmother whom she missed dearly.