Rafe (The Wounded Sons Book 4)

by Leah Sharelle

  ***

  RAFE

  I carefully placed the cup of hot chocolate on the coffee table and waited for Peyton to look at me. Inside I was screaming at her to notice me, to give me her amber eyes, but I pushed down that instinct and waited. This whole day had been one complete and utter cluster fuck, from Peyton finding out about Angie to Justin abducting my girl, getting shot, falling on his own knife and dying in front of her.

  Giving her space seemed like the least I could offer her.

  Once Booth and his club left, leaving only River on detail outside, Peyton had been quiet and reflective. She got up off my lap, despite my protests, asking if I could make her a hot drink. As long as she didn’t ask me to leave, I would do any fucking thing in the world for her.

  “How long were you married?” Peyton asked suddenly and quietly, her back to me as she looked out the front window. Her arms were wrapped around her middle, and there was nothing I wanted more than to go to her, but she needed answers and that was what I would do.

  “Four years married, we had been divorced for three, the amount of time she has been in …”

  “The coma,” Peyton interrupted, turning around to face me, “ she is the friend in the coma, not some guy you let me assume.”

  “Yes, she got drunk one night, got in her car and hit a tree.”

  “Why did you lie to me, Rafe? People have pasts, I have one. My life didn’t begin when I met you, I don’t know why you thought I wouldn’t understand that you had been married before.” Tears filled her eyes, begging me silently to give her a reason.

  “Fuck, Bunny, when we met, it was because of a traumatic event. I saw you in that room, fire licking all around you, then you looked at me through that window, and I swear to fuck, my heart started beating. The tangible thread between us was so real, so pure, everything I ever wanted to feel for a woman.”

  Dropping my head, I tried to think of how to explain to her what the accident did to me, how Angie’s behaviour leading up to the divorce affected me until I met her. Peyton was my game changer, the last thing I wanted was for Angie’s shit to touch Peyton’s perfection.

  “Baby, my marriage was less than perfect; in fact, it unravelled not long after I went into the army. Angie was a spoilt, only child. She hated my loyalty to the Sons, she refused to meet them, to get involved with the family dynamics at the compound. She wanted me to leave the army and go work for her father. She cared about handbags and shoes more than she did me.”

  “So why did you marry her?”

  “She hid that part of her, I knew she was spoilt, but she was never that bad. I indulged her temper tantrums because I thought they were cute. It wasn’t until I left did her true colours shine. We were kids when we met, my first love, at the time I loved her and wanted to marry her and she understood and accepted that the army was my career choice.”

  Peyton nodded, walking over to the couch and sitting down. I loved the way her hands had hardly left her lower belly where our baby was safe inside her.

  “Then she didn’t understand?”

  “Hardly,” I scoffed, taking a seat on the coffee table in front of her, “she became a narky, demanding bitch. Constantly calling me wherever I happened to be at the time, nagging me about wanting more money, a better house to live in, a newer model car to be seen in. She wanted me home and working in a job where suits were more appropriate than camo. After a few years, we drifted so far apart, and she didn’t even care that I stayed at the base or Ballarat after deployments, and I never missed her enough to give a shit.”

  “That doesn’t sound like the Rafe I know. You haven’t got a mean bone in your body, at least towards me,” Peyton acknowledged, picking up her cup and taking a sip.

  “It wasn’t me, Pey, those years were the worst of my life. I married a stranger, who she turned into was not the girl I married. I blamed myself, thinking that I was asking too much from her. Accepting the need to wait for me at home alone, me being in the commandos putting my life on the line for my country and my team. But it wasn’t that. She just wanted my attention to be on her. All of the time.”

  “That is an unreasonable request for anyone to ask of a spouse, Rafe. You know that, right?”

  “Yeah, but when you are in the desert or the jungle and your wife is screaming at you on a satellite phone that she can’t buy the heels she wants because I didn’t put enough money in our account, you tend to forget why you got married. I got sick of the fighting, so I kinda thought, why am I trying so hard?”

  “I’m not proud of some of the things I said to her in the last year of our marriage. The way I treated her so offhandedly when she asked for a divorce. I basically told her I was fine with getting her out of my life.” The memories came flooding back, the shouting matches over the phone, her tears pleading with me to forgive her. It was all too much.

  “Then the accident happened,” Peyton guessed, reaching out to touch me, but stopped.

  Like fuck!

  Grabbing onto her hand, I laced our fingers, taking comfort in the fact that she wanted my touch.

  “She rang me, begged me to tell my solicitor I wanted to change my mind. I refused, said some shit, and she got drunk, then drove her car into a tree. The police said it was deliberate, there were no skid marks on the road. The road was a straight stretch of highway, with no reason for her to veer off. The papers I signed were on the passenger seat when the car was found hours later.”

  “And she has been in a coma ever since. And you visit her because …?”

  “Because it was my fault, Peyton. I should have handled it differently, our marriage was over, that I knew, but I could have been nicer, given her more of my time to talk so she could see and accept that it was over.”

  “Why keep it from me? Before we started seeing each other, we had a great friendship, Rafe, why not tell me. Did you think I would blame you for what happened to her?”

  My fingers tightened around hers, the lump in my throat the size of a cricket ball.

  “Yes, honestly, I did. If I hadn’t been so cruel to her, she would be alive today. Her parents would not be preparing to turn off their only child’s life support. I hated the thought that you might see it that way too.”

  “I love you, Peyton, I fell for you all those months ago and I haven’t stopped falling.” Sliding off the table, I rested on my knees, dropping my head to Peyton’s lap. Winding my arms around her waist, I held her to me good and tight.

  “I honestly thought if I told you about Angie, then I would have to admit that I failed at juggling marriage and my career, that I put my job first. That is why I continued to visit her after our divorce because I failed her. I might have stopped loving her, but she didn’t deserve to pay such a heavy price for our failures.” Admitting all my most secret and humiliating thoughts out loud to Peyton hurt, but it also felt cathartic at the same time. After carrying that weight around on my shoulders for so long, it was good to finally share it, and with the woman, I hoped, still wanted to spend the rest of her life with me.

  “Oh, Rafe,” Peyton sighed, her fingers spearing through my short hair. Groaning at her touch, I nuzzled my nose into her belly, relishing the intimacy between us. It wasn’t sex, but right at that moment, nothing could top it.

  “That is why I visit her still, and I owed it to her to punish myself. What tops seeing my ex-wife comatose? A constant reminder of what I did to her.”

  “Rafe, look at me,” Peyton demanded, pulling gently on the ends of my hair.

  Lifting my head, I kept my arms around her but sat up on my knees, so our faces were level. With her hands still in my hair, she pulled me close until our noses were just touching.

  “You lied to me, and that is never going to happen again. You hurt me a lot Rafe, and while I can get over you not telling me about her, it is going to take some time forgiving you.”

  I started to protest, but Peyton pulled on my hair again. Harder.

  “In saying that,” she continued, glaring adorably at
me, “I have no intention of making you pay by ignoring you, making you sleep on the couch, or bringing up your indiscretion whenever I feel like it. Instead, we are going to slow down.” This time I succeeded in interrupting her.

  “Peyton, what do you mean by slow down exactly?” Not liking what was going on inside her head, hoping it wasn’t what I thought.

  “Baby, today showed me a lot. Firstly, life is too short to stay mad, I could have died this afternoon, taking our baby with me. Another thing I realised is, you mustn’t be completely comfortable with me, which is fine, for now. But I want you to want to share everything with me, no matter what it is, so … we share our lives and get used to the fact we are going to be parents, share a bed … but no sex for now.”

  “Peyton, I fail to understand how that is going to help,” I argued, hating the idea.

  Peyton closed the small distance between us and pressed her lips softly to my mouth. The softness in her kiss would have rocked me to my knees had I not already been on them.

  “I love you, Rafe, I have for so long. We went from zero to a thousand in the blink of an eye, and while I agreed at the time, now I see that I should have seen your reluctance to share. There were a few times I remember thinking to myself; you wanted to tell me something, but held back. I don’t want you to hold back, so we slow down until you reach the point where you can give me one hundred percent of yourself to us.”

  None of what Peyton just said made a lick of sense to me, but I was so stuck on her telling me she loves me, I decided to let her have a day or two of no sex then go on the attack.

  “I am not Angie, Rafe. Never will I punish you, I am not your mother, babe. I am your girlfriend and the mother of your unborn child. Your job is who you are, and I love the man in uniform and out, to me, he is one and the same.”

  Cupping her face in my hands, I looked at the woman who not only owned my heart and was having my baby, but the one person I never wanted to disappoint ever again. It was true what people say, the love of the right woman makes you a better man.

  “I accept that Bunny, but know I will be moving heaven and earth to make you break your stipulation of no sex. A mission is not far away going by how long we have been off this time around, and I am not leaving you for any amount of time without having you on my dick.” My growl turned almost feral when Peyton laughed, her hand going to my arse and giving it a cheeky squeeze.

  “I tell ya what, your beeper goes off tomorrow, then you can pound me into the mattress, if not, then you are on your side with no more than a bit of footsie under the blankets.”

  “Deal,” I clipped, inwardly fist-pumping because Peyton might not know it, but she just jinxed Team FIVE. Beepers were going to go off tomorrow, no doubt about it.

  And I was going to pound my girl until her body imprint was left in our bed, then make love to her. Passionately.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  RAFE

  I tossed the pager on the couch and started down the hall to our bedroom.

  I had been right that the call-up was imminent but completely wrong about the time frame. Unfortunately for me, five days have gone by, five days of slow. No sex slow.

  Grudgingly, I had to admit Peyton’s idea had merit and proved correct since, in the last five days I have opened up to Peyton more than I had to anyone. We talked about the early days of Angie and me, our marriage, her resistance to forgo her parent’s financial support and everything between and after.

  Peyton even talked me into calling Angie’s parents, and I have to admit it helped me release the guilt I carried for their daughter’s accident and that I was through with that part of my life. The reception from them was a little hot and cold, they still blamed me for losing their only child, but Peyton explained that was their guilt talking. Their interference in our marriage only managed to allow Angie not to grow up. It’s funny but hearing a different perspective from a neutral observer really gave me a greater understanding of the whole sad tale. Simply put, they spoilt their kid, and you reap what you sow. Peyton thought that was a little too harsh, but hey, I am better with a rifle than I am with words.

  Ridding myself of my boxers, I walked back into the room to see Peyton was still in the same spot on the bed when I left to call Gabe. The message on my beeper had been brief, only saying to report to Point Cook by this time tomorrow morning. I wanted permission from my captain to meet the team there and not at Queenscliff, giving me more time with Peyton. Our five days of no sex surprisingly has been very enjoyable; other than clearing up my shit with Angie, Peyton and I spent as much time talking about what we each wanted out of our relationship. I honestly thought I knew everything there was to know about my girl, turns out I was wrong. Her favourite foods, TV shows and that she has more make-up than Revlon was just the tip of my knowledge ice-berg when it came to her.

  I discovered that my lying to her made her feel much like her parents did when they sent her away to have her baby in secret.

  Unworthy, forgotten about and unloved.

  Nothing could be further from the truth in my mind. Peyton opened my eyes to just how much I do love her, really need her in my life, and never want to hurt her ever again.

  My baby was in her belly, tying her to me for as long as I walk this earth. Nothing meant more to me than creating that unbreakable bond with her.

  Except maybe one thing … no more footsie play. It was time for the second part of our deal.

  Stalking to the bed, I lifted the sheet and climbed my way up from the bottom, following the gorgeous length of long, bare, sexy, toned legs.

  “Hmmm, these legs are wonderful wrapped around my waist, but I have something else I need more,” I growled low and deep, pushing my nose into the gusset of her panties, smelling the most heavenly scent that was Peyton.

  The slow rhythm of Peyton’s breathing increased, letting me know she was waking up, but I wanted her waking with my tongue sliding up and down her folds. Slipping my fingers inside her panties, then moaning when her heat hit the pads, I gently pulled the material to one side and licked one long stroke. Her taste hitting me like a freight train, all my senses going into high gear.

  Fuck, I could have lost this! Not the brilliant sex, but the woman. Our baby. My life.

  Opening my mouth wider, I sucked on her lips, swirling my tongue between them around the fleshy bud.

  “Oh god, yes,” Peyton moaned sleepily, her hands in my hair, her fingers digging into my scalp. Lifting her hips, Peyton started to ride my mouth, her whimpers and my sucking sounds, making my already hard dick painfully harder.

  “Come for me baby, cover my mouth and chin with your sweet, sweet cum,” I urged, flicking my tongue over her clit, pushing a finger knuckle-deep into her tight entrance.

  “Rafe! Oh baby, lick me faster,” Peyton begged, her knees sliding up, holding firm around my ears, her arse coming off the bed, pushing herself deeper into my mouth.

  “That’s it baby, ride my face, take what you need from me, Bunny.”

  The pressure in my dick fucking hurt, even grinding it into the mattress wasn’t helping to ease the pain. Only one thing could do that.

  Using my other hand, I grabbed hold of one cheek and roughly pulled her sweet pussy as close as possible and open-mouthed kissed her wet flesh. Growls and moans tore from my throat at the same time, Peyton screamed out my name, her legs shaking around my head, as her pelvis ground into me.

  “Fuck, yes.” Drinking down her sweet essence, I cleaned as much of her juices, taking more time than I could afford, but fuck me, Peyton was my favourite flavour, letting it go to waste was stupidity.

  Satisfied I had enough of her on my tongue to last while I was away, I kissed my way up her body, shoving her nightgown up her torso as I went, revealing all her naked beauty. Her beautiful tits had yet to start changing with the pregnancy, but she did tell me that they were more sensitive now. I couldn’t wait to see her body change as the pregnancy progressed. Coming to terms that I was going to miss out on some o
f the stages was kind of hard to accept, but that was the nature of the beast when you joined the army.

  Peyton is nothing like Angie; she is resilient, strong and supportive of my career. She wanted to be part of a successful relationship and understood that it takes two to make it work.

  Reaching her nipples, I palmed one while sucking the other one gently between my lips, being sure to be careful and not hurt her.

  “What … oh yes, that is so good,” Peyton moaned, holding onto her breast for me keeping it guided at my mouth.

  “What are you doing, Rafe?” Peyton asked, her head thrown back, whimpering as I worshipped her.

  “Beeper went off,” I mumbled around my mouthful, then released it with a pop before covering her mouth and kissed her, giving her a good taste of herself.

  “So, you thought it was the time to wake me by eating my pussy?” she enquired sassily against my lips.

  “Yes,” I quipped, reaching between us to grab hold of my throbbing cock.

  Damn, this was going to be fast, a guaranteed three hard thrusts and I am going to go off like a geyser.

  Holding the tip to her sopping entrance, I held it there while I held her hooded, passion-filled gaze.

  “The deal was my beeper goes off, then I get to pound you into the mattress if I remember your terms correctly.” Pushing in, I released a guttural moan. Tightness and wet heat enveloped me, her walls sucking me in so thoroughly, my eyes rolled at the hit of pleasure.

  “Fuck, I love you, Peyton, I promise never to stop.” Thrusting my hips forward, I rode the wave of love our bodies were creating, slow and deep I pushed in and out, putting every moan to memory to use on the lonely nights ahead of me.

  “I am going to hold you to that promise, Rafe. I love you so much, living without you is not something I want, ever.” Peyton wrapped her arms around my shoulders, bringing me closer to her.