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The Three Perils of Man; or, War, Women, and Witchcraft, Vol. 2 (of 3)

Page 3

by James Hogg


  CHAP. III.

  Goe fetche mee lofe of your wheitan breide And ane other coppe of wyne; For drynke I quhile myne doublet ryve, For drynke I moste repine. I fele not corauge in myne herte, Nor mychte into myne honde, If there is nott wytchcrafte forth abrode, There neuir was crafte in londe.

  _Ballade of "Prince Henrie."_

  The morning had by this time dawned on the gray hills of the forest, andthat with an aspect gloomy and foreboding. The white snowy clouds hadcrept down into the bosoms of the hills; and above these clouds werehere and there to be seen the top of a mountain crested with its darkcairn, so that the heavens and the earth seemed to be mingled together.

  "Gude sauf us!" cried Charlie, as he peeped out at his small cranniedwindow, "but this is a grim, gousty-looking morning! I wish the princeo' the air be nae fa'en a brewing some o' his hellish storms andhairikens on us. If there be spirits moving about on thae hills to-day,they can be nae good anes, ye may see by their look out. Sant Mary bewith us! see their drumly heads appear to be raised to double theirordinary height."

  "Be not thou afraid, my son, of the prince of the power of the air, forthere is one that is greater than he," said the friar; "and though thefiends may for a while muster their fogs, and foment the air withstorms, yet will he send forth his angels and scatter them; yea, he willsend them forth riding on the whirlwind, and the clouds of heaven shallbe their chariots, and the powers of darkness shall fly in dismay beforethem."

  The friar stepped forward to the window, and gazed for a minute inbreathless astonishment; then turning away, he added in a solemn tone,"Verily, my children, I am afraid to look at the face of the sky, or tobehold the hues that are abroad on the firmament this day, though mystrength be the munition of rocks."

  The steward now appeared with his rod of office in his hand, and, withall due ceremony, marshalled his guests up the great stair, and finallyup a small winding stair, to an apartment at the very top of the upmosttower, above all the turrets and paved battlements. This room was in ablaze of light with flaming torches all around; and (joyful sight to ourprecious embassy!) the table was covered with rich viands in greatabundance. The friar, having got short of breath in his ascent, laggedconsiderably behind, while the foremost rushing in, every one began tohelp himself with the greatest avidity; so that, when the friar atlength came puffing into the apartment, all the rest had begun withoutgrace. The seat at the foot of the table was still unoccupied; andbefore that there stood a beautiful smoking sirloin of beef, with agentle brown crust around it, and half swimming in gravy. Never wasthere a more delicious sight presented to a hungry man.

  The worthy friar, seeing all the rest engaged, would not risk a trespasson good manners by interrupting them, although it was an establishedcustom with him to bless every meal before tasting it. In conformitywith this venerable custom among Christians, he lifted up his spreadhands, closed his eyes, and leaning forward above the beef so closelythat he actually breathed upon it, and felt the flavour of health andjoy ascending by his nostrils, in that fervent and respectful attitudehe blessed the beef in the name of Jesus. Never had blessing a moredolorous effect. When the friar opened his eyes, the beef was gone.There was nothing left on the great wooden plate before him but a smallinsignificant thing resembling the joint of a frog's leg, or that of arat; and perhaps two or three drops of gravy.

  The friar's associates were all busily engaged. The steward was movingabout behind them, and at that time happened to be passing by near wherethe friar sat; of course, this latter worthy had no doubt whatever butthat the malicious old rascal had stolen the roast slyly from under hisnose the moment that his eyes were closed, whereas the steward was asmuch astounded as he. It was a fine picture. The friar had placedhimself hastily to begin; but, missing his beef, and seeing nothing ofit on the board, he was moved with great anger and indignation. There hesat, biting his lip, and having his deep dark eye fixed on theseneschal; and there stood the tall seneschal, with his mouth wide open,his face half raised toward the cornice of the chamber, and his dullheavy eye fixed on the friar's plate. He was in utter dismay; for hedreaded that, on such a blessing being pronounced openly, the whole ofhis provisions would in like manner vanish away; and he was a blithe manwhen, instead of blessing, the friar, on opening his mouth, was ratherinclined to curse.

  "Cursed be thy malice, for it is great," cried he: "Thou Nabal! thouRabshakeh! thou Shimei, the son of Bichri! thou Er! thou Onan! thou vileJudas, the son of Simon! Magormissabub be thy name; and may it beblotted out after thee, and become a bye-word, and a proverb, and ahissing among people and children. Restore that which thou hast unjustlytaken away, before I thrust my sword into thee, and take away thy life.Give unto me the precious morsel thou hast taken away, or, lo! thou artin the jaws of destruction, and the pit openeth her mouth wide uponthee."

  The steward answered neither good nor bad; for he was afraid of thevengeance of his master, and the evil spirits that wrought at hisbidding, and delighted in nothing so much as in tormenting him, else hadhe not taken the friar's curses without repaying them sevenfold. Hetherefore shut his mouth, and closed his eyes, putting on a countenanceof the utmost derision. But the friar's heart had been set upon thebeef, his soul had rejoiced over it, and he could not with patience giveway to the idea of losing it; therefore, instead of joining the rest,who were devouring their various fare with great eagerness, he continuedhis anathemas on the steward.

  "Blethering gouk!" cried Charlie: "Can nae ye tak part o' what's gaun,and haud your jaw? What signify a' thae strings o' gospel phrases at sica time as this? Will they fill a hungry stamock, or mak the worthyseneschal either better or waur than he is? Come pledge me in a cup o'wine to the health of our great landlord, Master Michael Scott."

  They handed the stoup down to the friar, who filled for himself, andtook the pledge, though still with a gloomy and a discontented brow. Hethen left his seat, and went up one side of the board, close to GibbieJordan, where he began a-helping himself to a slice, from a mangledshoulder of venison apparently. But it relished not,--for still the lostbeef was uppermost in his mind, and his eye glanced hot displeasure atthe steward.

  "Surely he is of all men the most accursed," added he: "He drinketh upmalice as the ox drinketh up water; and as his name is so is he.Whereunto he hath conveyed the morsel that I loved, is a matter too highfor me to comprehend. I see it not in any corner of the habitation, nordoth the smell of it reach my nostrils. But I will visit it upon hishead; and mine eyes shall see my desire on him."

  The dishes of meat were, however, of good quality, and well mixed withfat and lean; yet none of them knew exactly what they were, neitherwould the sullen steward deign to give them the least information onthat head. There was even one large shapeless piece, of a savour andconsistence so peculiar that no one of them could tell whether it wasflesh or fish. Still they continued their perseverance, devouring onedish after another, and drinking off one stoup of wine after another,without any abatement of appetite on the one side or any exhiliration ofspirits on the other, the steward always bringing in a supply with themost perfect equanimity. At length our yeomen began to look at oneanother. Their hands had waxed weary with cutting, and their jaws wouldscarcely any more perform their office.

  "What is the meaning of this, my brethren," said the friar: "Surely itis better for us to desist, lest our table prove a snare unto us. Lo, myhands are weary, and my cheek-bones are pained even to their utmostextremities. Verily, it is all vanity, for my body is only filled aswith the east wind."

  "Na, na; ply away. It's good sport. I dinna see how we can be betteremployed," said the deil's Tam.

  "I think, my brethren, that we should from eating straight refrain,"said the poet; "for eating is but weariness, and drinking is but pain.There is no strength into our bread, nor spirit in our wine: somewarlock wight has ta'en the might out of this food of mine."

  The steward had all this time never spoken word good or bad; but hadserved them with t
he utmost obsequiousness; and when they had at lengthceased from feeding, he went and gave the Master an account of therepast, which proved a source of great divertisement to him.

  "I have not," said he, "for these many years, had any desire to triflewith the beings to whose species I once belonged; but this groupsurpasses all of their kind. I will, therefore, lay aside my profoundstudies, and be with them as one of themselves. If it were but totorment them, I will indulge in this idle and vain humour. I havealmost forgot how human passions work."

  "I pray of thee, Master," said Gourlay, "that thou wilt suffer me toslay yon grim and snarling dog in the grey frock. I loathe, hate, andabhor him. He is, moreover, a bit of a necromancer himself; and has theinsolence to suppose that he can rival you in power."

  "It is there I long to try him," said the Master. "In power I brook norival in this or any other land, as thou thyself, and thy wretchedcompanion in bondage, can witness. There is only one thing in this weakman in shape of a friar that I fear, and that thing shall be nameless.Perhaps I may commission thee to take him away. In the mean time, removethe remainder of their wretched viands, and bring me in a vessel full ofthe strong wine of Palestine, mixed up with the essence of many spirits.It is a beverage fit for gods. In it will I pledge these derangedmortals; and thou shalt see some sport for once, if aught on earth candivert thee."

  "Certes I shall be diverted, great Master of arts. I hope you willfavour them with a touch of _the varieties_, by way of example?"

  "By and by, Gourlay,--all in good time. In the mean while, let us dealwith them as men and as gentlemen; and, before I metamorphose theminto quadrupeds, let us see what kind of beings they will make ofthemselves."

  The Master accordingly entered the room, where his guests still satround the board. All of them rose, and made obeisance; but, withoutreturning the courtesy, he took his seat at the end of the table next tothe door, and was just about to address them, when he was interrupted byCharlie Scott. There were two great individuals always uppermost inCharlie's mind,--these were his master the warden, and his horse Corby;and finding himself again in the Master's presence, and thinking herather looked better pleased than he was wont, he judged it prudent notto let the opportunity slip: so, after scratching his head violentlywith both hands, he thus preferred his solicitation:

  "Gude faith, Master Scott, I'm glad I hae seen you again; and, naedisparagement either to you or your house, Sir Knight, but the truth is,we canna bide here. For, in the first place, you see, our skins willgang to the bauks in a jiffey; and, in the next place, our captain, thewarden, canna want us. It is far mair than our lives are worth for us tostay here; for, troth, Sir Master, the lives o' others depend on it.Now, I wadna like that we were trowed to be corbie messengers. And thatbrings me a-mind, Sir Knight, how muckle need I hae to be at the milldown by there. I hae a friend at it that I fear is in nae good plight."

  "Content you, gallant squire, for a space," said the Master; "I dointend to answer the request of my noble kinsman with all expedition;but such things cannot be done in a moment. I must read the face of theheavens, and listen to the voices from the deep below. I have likewise amaster to consult; he has another; and both are as perverse as hellitself. Be content, therefore, and enjoy yourselves for the remainder ofthis day. Give me all your names that I may register them, and give methem truly."

  Every one gave his name and designation, save that the poet gave thename of the lovely Delany with an encomium on her beauty and virtue. ButMichael cared for none of those things. What appeared beautiful in theeyes of other men, to his were loathsomeness and deformity. Fardifferent was the case when the friar announced his own name.

  Michael started to his feet, and, with spread hands, and every featureof his countenance dilated with joy, he exclaimed, "What? Primate ofDouay in France, and author of the Book of Arts?"

  "The same, great Sir," said the friar: "I confide it to you: But haplythou dost not know, in this thy retired habitation, that men thirst formy blood; that I am a persecuted man, and have suffered imprisonments,bonds, wounds, yea, and tortures; that I have been hunted from nationto nation, and from land to land, until I found shelter and protectionamong these wild and reckless Borderers, a people that neither fear Godnor regard man. With them have I taken up my abode. I am become a fatherto them, and they are as children unto me. I love them. But, if theyshould be induced to give me up, wo would be unto me!"

  "What d' ye say, man?" said Charlie, grasping his hand. "D' ye think aScot amang us wad gie you up? If there be sic a man in the Border array,he ought to be d--ned. But I trow I ken a bit o' the warden's mindthere; and I can tell you, a' the pens and a' the rapiers in Englandwadna gar him gie up the gospel friar. Na, na; if ever he's gien up, hemaun gie up himsel, and mak his ain conditions too."

  "Great and notable Primate, you are welcome to this castle," said theMaster; "whether by the title of monk, prior, primate, or friar, I sayyou are welcome here. I have ridden a thousand miles to meet with you.But that is long agone. I had heard of your great skill in the sublimearts, that surpass the comprehension of ordinary men, and I determinedto stake my life on the trial of skill between us. I was disappointed inmeeting with you, for you were not to be found, dead or alive. The daysof my ambition are fled. My power has been acknowledged so long, nonedaring to contend with me, that indifference hath ensued; after thatcame disgust, and with it misery. Thou art the man of all the earthwhose fame I have envied; and, if thou darest, I will contend with thee,for freedom or for life, which thou wilt. If thou art overcome, thoushalt be my bondsman and slave, and if thou conquerest I will submit tobe thine."

  "Lo, I will contend with thee even for name and being," said the friar."Of the strong-holds of sin and Satan am I not afraid. I have put theministers of thy vengeance to flight already, and I will chase, yea, Iwill overcome and pursue them away; as chaff is driven before the wind,will I scatter them. Dare not to contend with me; for, if I judgearight, my Master holdeth thine in chains, and if I interfere thoucanst do nothing. I judge it therefore best to contend as brotherscontend. To admire what is truly great, and deride that which isinsignificant. Mine are the arts of peace, truth, and righteousness, andI hoped thine were the same."

  "Why, art thou not a monk, a follower of the wretched maniac, Benedictof Padua? that driveller in hidden mysteries?" said the Master. "I donot rightly comprehend thee, or by what power thou didst thwart myservants. Tell me in one word,--Art thou not in combination with thepotent elemental spirits that rule and controul the earth, the air, thefire, and the waters? If not, thy arts are superficial and worthless."

  "Thou shalt see, and thou shalt judge," said the friar: "I am notashamed of that I can do." And with that he went and brought up his hugeportmanteau, in which he always carried many a small and curiousapparatus; but these he kept carefully concealed, having suffered somuch from the superstitions of bigotted and illiterate men, in thecourse of his profound researches. He was the greatest chemist that hadever appeared on the stage of existence; yet that curious and refinedart was he obliged carefully to conceal, having been persecuted as anecromancer over every kingdom of southern Europe.

  When he went away Charlie Scott was terribly in the fidgets. He expectedinstantly to witness the raising of the devil, and other infernalspirits, against whom he cherished the most inveterate dislike. His eyesbegan to set in his head, and the roof of his mouth became so dry thathe could not pronounce words distinctly.

  "Gude faith, Sir Master," said he, "I dinna appruve of a man setting uphis birse, and braving a gentleman in his ain house. And, wi' yourpermission, I hae something o' great importance to do at the mill; saeI'll e'en step down that length, and I shall come up again' the morningby day-light."

  "Please to remain with your friends, good yeoman," said the Master:"You shall witness something worth your while. What can you possiblyhave to do at the mill?"

  "Muckle, muckle to do at the mill, Sir Knight; I'll just refer it toyoursel,--can either man or beast leeve wanting drink?"
r />   "I beg your pardon," said the Master: "I had almost forgot my principalerrand. Gourlay, fill me a glass of the wine of Palestine."

  The steward did as he was ordered; and the Master, taking the cup, drankto the health of his kinsman, the warden, and all his friends. Every oneof his guests did the same, save the maiden and boy; and every eye wascleared, and every heart warmed, for the liquor was as strong as brandy.

  "Weel, Sir Knight," said Charlie, "that is what ane wad ca' rather stiffsturdy drink; I hae nae tasted ought as weel worth the drinking: And ifye will just gar auld Crossgrains come ower us again, I think I couldeven prevail on mysel' to face the deil, and let Corby tak his chance."

  The request was instantly complied with. Each of them got another cup;and the friar having tarried a while to put his affairs in order, whenhe came back the tongues of all his companions were going at once, andhe was apprehensive that they were bewitched. He, however, took thepledge in one full cup, and was greatly revived by it; but refusedtaking another at that time.

  The room in which they sat was lighted by four windows: those to theeast and west were small circular ones, having a pane of bright glass ineach: those to the north and south were merely long slits in the wall,without any glass; and the first thing the friar did, before producingthe specimens of his art, was to close up all these windows, so as toexclude the light of day, and the glass of the western one he eithercontrived to remove, substituting another in its place, or else he putanother piece of magnifying glass over it.

  When he began a-closing up the last, Charlie entered a vehement protestagainst it, on the ground that no body would see what he did, or what heraised, and any one might be seized by the neck ere ever he was aware,by some o' his infernal deils.

  "I hate a' surprises," added he; "It's best keeping the crown o' thefell, and seeing weel about ane. Room to fight and room to flee, an yelike, Maister Gospel-friar. Wha do you think's gaun to play athide-and-seek wi' the deil in sic a place as this?"

  The Master, in a sneering manner, requested that the great enchantermight have his own way: and Charlie, whose tongue was a little loosed bythe wine of Palestine, was at last restrained, though not without a gooddeal of grumbling and fidgetting. The room was darkened; the friar wentinto a small alcove, and, by the help of a magic lanthorn, a thing neverbefore seen in Scotland, he raised up a tremendous and horrid figure onthe wall. It was of gigantic size; its eyes, lips, and paws moved; andits body was thrown into various contortions.

  All were in breathless silence on the appearance of this extraordinaryshade; but among the darkling group there was distinctly heard onewhose breathing was frequently cut short, as if something had beenchoking him, or seizing him by the throat.

  After the apparition had gone through its various evolutions, allapparently at the further end of the apartment, it fixed its eyes,clenched its teeth, and, stretching forth its claws, it appeared to makea spring forward at the party.

  "Aih! L--d be here!" cried Charlie in a trumpet voice, and threw himselfflat down behind the rest. Hearing that some of them laughed at thefright he had got, he ventured to speak and expostulate a little; but nocuriosity could induce him to raise his face from the floor, or open hiseyes again while the friar's exhibition continued. "Lair him, lair him,friar!" cried he,--"or, od, I's be about your lugs some day for this.Lair him, lair him, in the name of St Michael! and if that winna do, tryhim wi' Peter--he'll send him ower the battlements like a shot. O goodfriar, whatever ye do, lair him!"

  The friar went on with his phantasmagoria. The figure, after giving ashiver or two, was parted into three, all of the same form and size,but all making different motions, and different contortions of feature.The three were afterwards parted into six, which, among other grotesquefeats, danced a reel, and, on running thro' it, every one threw itselfheels-over-head. The group of onlookers laughed outright at this,notwithstanding their astonishment, and called to Charlie to look. Buthe would not move his face from the earth, and only asked, in ahalf-suffocated voice, "Is he no laired yet? Od I shall be about wi'that cursed body for his tricks."

  When the friar had concluded this feat, he put out his small lanthorn,took the machinery out of it, concealing it beneath his ample frock, andagain opened all the windows.

  Charlie got up, and running to one of the loop-holes, "Gude be thankit,I'll get a cooke o' the air o' heaven again!" said he, "for I hae beenbreathing fire and brimstone this while byegane. Foul befa' me gin everI saw the like o' yon; I was sair dumfoundered,--but wha could standafore the face of a fiery giant?"

  The friar's associates looked at the lanthorn, examining it with curiouseyes, but perceived nothing about it which could in any way account forthe apparition they had seen. Master Michael Scott did not deign to aska sight of it, but paced over the floor in sullen and thoughtful mood.The seneschal stood fixed to the spot on which he had witnessed thephenomenon, with his heavy unmoving eyes turned towards his master. Heseemed dubious whether he was vanquished or not. The Master at lengthspoke, addressing the friar:--

  "I hope, right worshipful Primate, this is not the extent of yourknowledge and power in the sublime art of divination? The whole is onlya delusion,--a shadow,--a phantom, calculated to astonish women orchildren. I acknowledge it to be ingenious; still it is nothing. Youmultiplied your shadows, turning three into six; now, if I turnthree men into six living, breathing, substantial beings, will youacknowledge yourself outdone?"

  "Certes, I will," said the friar.

  "Away, then, with deception," said the Master: "What I do, I do in theopen eye of day.--Stand forth three of you."

  "Master Michael Scott, I'll tell you what it is," said Charlie, "Isolemnly protest against being parted into twa."

  "You shall neither suffer nor feel the least inconvenience by thechange, brave yeoman," said the Master; "therefore be not afraid, butstand forth."

  Charlie hung his head to one side in a deep reverie, till at length hiscountenance lightened up by degrees, his features opening into a broadsmile.

  "I'll tell you what it is, Sir Knight," said he, "if you will assure methat baith o' us shall be as stout and as wight chaps as I am mysel e'ennow, gude faith, I dinna care though ye mak me into twa, for my masterthe warden's sake. If you could double an army that gate, it wad be agreat matter. I doubt sair I'll cast out wi' my tither half aboutsomething that I ken o', and that's Corby; but I'll run the risk. Naneo' your cutfing and cleaving, however, Sir Knight. Nane o' your imps wi'their lang-kail gully knives again."

  Charlie stepped up the floor, and took his stand with his back at thewall, to await doggedly this multiplication of himself. Tam soon joinedhim: but there was a hard contest between Gibbie and the poet, both ofwhom were rather personal cowards, and both alike averse to suchexperiments. The former was at length obliged to yield, for Carol clungso close to the maid, that nothing could induce him to part from her;and, ever since the friar gave him the grievous overthrow, he had lostall confidence in his personal prowess.

  Michael stamped thrice with his heel, and spoke some words in an unknowntongue, in a low muttering tone; but some of them heard the sounds ofPrig, Prim, and Pricker. There was a momentary confusion in theapartment. A darkening haze flashed over it, and blinded the eyes of menfor a short space; the floor gave a shake, as if it had sunk down alittle,--and there stood two of each of the three friends, so completelyalike that no one knew who was who.

  No scene could be more truly ludicrous than the one which now ensued;each man turned to his prototype, and the looks of confusion andastonishment in both being the same, the beholders were seized withirrepressible laughter.

  Charlie felt his legs, thighs, and ribs, if they remained the same asbefore. The other boardly personage in the same shape followed hisexample, and added, "Gude faith, the like o' this I saw never!"

  "You may weel say't," said the other; "But let me see if you can drawthat lang sword as weel an' as cleverly as I can do."

  "Gude Lord, hear til him!" said the first: "He's speaking as h
e were thetrue Charlie Scott himsel! Speak ye, friend: Were you me before this!That, is, did you ride with the warden over the border?"

  "I am sure if you were there, I never saw you before," said the secondspeaker; "But I dinna ken what I am saying; for the truth is I dinnacomprehend this."

  With that they again gazed at each other, and looked over theirshoulders, as if they would not have cared to have fled from oneanother's presence.

  With every pair the scene was much the same. Tam was so much astonishedthat he turned to his second self, cowered down, leaning his hands uponhis knees, and made a staunch point at him. The other took precisely thesame posture, so that their long noses almost met. The maid, the poet,and the boy screamed with laughter. Both of the Tams laughed too, sothat they very much resembled an ideot looking at himself in a glass.

  "Friend, I canna say but ye're very like me," said Gibbie to hispartner; "But, though nane o' us be great beauties, ye look rather thewarst o' the twae."

  "It brings me a-mind o' a story I hae heard my mother tell," said theother, "of a lady and her twa Blackamores"--

  "What the deil man!" exclaimed the first; "Did your mother tell thatstory too?"

  "Ay; wha else but she tauld it? I say my mother, auld Effy Blakely ofthe Peatstacknowe."

  "Eh?--She your mother? It is gayan queer if we be baith ane after a'!for I never had a billy."

  The two Gibbies then both began to tell stories, which each claimed asoriginally his, so that the perplexity still increased. Nor was itbetter when the parties began to mix and address each other. All spokeof themselves as the right and proper persons, and of the others asbeings in their likenesses, and the most complete uncertainty prevailed.But, just as the novelty and interest of the drama began to subside,Michael, by a wave of his hand annihilated the three additionalpersonages, and all remained as it was before the grand exhibitioncommenced, save that our group had got a new topic of conversation andmerriment.

  "Primate of Douay, so celebrated for thy mighty enchantments, howthinkest thou of this?" said the Master.

  "That thou hast done what no man could have done beside," said thefriar; "and that thy power even surpasseth that of the magicians ofEgypt, and of those of the countries in the lands of the east. But inone thing my power is even as thy power. Dost thou know that I couldhave prevented thy charm, and put a period to thy enchantment at my willand pleasure?"

  "It is not the power of prevention that we are trying," said the Master."Suffer my servants to do their work, as I shall suffer thine, and weshall then see who are most punctually obeyed, and who shall perform thegreatest works. Only, if I prevail in all things, you will surely havethe generosity to acknowledge that my master is greater than thine?"

  "Wo be unto me if such a confession proceed out of my lips!" said thefriar: "Who can be greater than he who builded the stories of heaven,and laid the foundations of this earth below; who lighted up the sun,sending him abroad in brightness and in glory, and placed the moon andthe stars in the firmament on high? Who is greater than he who hath madethe mountains to stand, the seas to roll, and the winds to blow? whohath not only made the souls of men, but all the spirits of the upperand nether world--"

  "Peace, thou maniac!" cried the Master, interrupting the friar, in avoice that made him leap from the floor: "Comest thou here to babbletreason against the master whom I serve, and the mighty spirits withwhom I am in league? Do what thou canst do, and cease from speaking evilof dignities. What knowest thou of the principalities and powers thatinhabit and rule over the various regions of the universe? No more thanthe mole that grovelleth beneath the sward.--What further canst thou doin proof of thy profound art?"

  "Behold with thine eyes, O thou who accountest thyself the greatestamong the children of men!" said the friar, with a waggish air; "that Iwill but speak the word, and the mountains shall be rent asunder, andthe tops of the everlasting hills stand in opposition. Knowest thou theproper name, figure, and dimensions of that peaked mountain over againstthe castle, to the west?"

  "Well may I know it," said the Master, "for I have looked out on itthese fifty years, and many a hundred times have I followed the chasearound it. It is named Cope-Law, and the mountain is my own."

  "Mountain of Cope-Law, hear my voice," cried the friar in the samewaggish tone, in which there was an affectation of sublime command:"Thou hast borne the footsteps of thy great master and his black horseBeelzebub, yet hast thou neither been scorched nor rent. Yea though hehath cursed thee in the bitterness of ire, yet hath thy grey head neverbeen shaken.--But, behold, a greater than thy master is here. Mountainof Cope-Law, hear my voice:--Be thou rent asunder and divided intothree, that thy owner may look on thee and be astonied. If it pleasethee, mighty magician, look out on thy mountain of Cope-Law now."

  Many a thousand times had the Master looked out at that circular window;every bush and grey stone on the hill were familiar to him; and, allunsuspicious of the simple deceit that had been practised on him, hewent and looked forth from the window, when, in the place where oneround peaked mountain was wont to be, he actually saw three, all of thesame dimensions; and, as he weened, each of them more steep, tall, andromantic than the original one had been. He looked, and lookedagain--the optical delusion was complete. He paced the floor in sullenmood; muttered some sentences to himself in an under tone, and once morelooked forth on the singular phenomenon. The mountains remained thesame. They could not be seen from any other window, and no one thoughtof descending to the great balcony; so that in the eyes of all the friarremained triumphant.

  The Master could not brook this. He strode the floor in gloomyindignation; and at length they heard him saying, "If I should ventureto demand it--But is it then to be my last great work? The demand isdreadful!--I will--I'll demand it. Never shall it be said that MichaelScott was out-done in his own art, and that by a poor peddling friar.Come all of you hither," added he in a louder tone. "Look at thatmountain to the east. It is known to you all--the great hill of Eildon.You see and know that it is one round, smooth, and unbroken cone."

  "We all know it, and have known it from infancy," was the generalanswer.

  The Master gave three strokes with his heel, and called the names of histhree elfin pages, who in an instant stood before him.--"Work, Master,work,--what work now?"

  "Look at that mountain to the east," said he, "ycleped the hill ofEildon. Go and twist me it into three."

  The pages grinned, looking at him with eyes of a devilish gleam, as aravenous creature eyes its prey.

  "The hill is a granite rock," said one,--"and five arrow-flights high,"said another,--"and seventy round the base," said the first.

  "All the powers of earth, and hell to boot, are unmeet to the task,"added the third.

  "Thou art a proud and impertinent liar, perverse imp of the regions offlame," said the Master: "Note this, The thing must, and shall be done;even though a body and soul should both be given up as the guerdon. Iknow my conditions; they are sealed, and subscribed, and I am not to bedisobeyed. Get to your work without more hesitation."

  The three pages then fell to reeling about and about, singing a wild anduncouth trio, in words of the following import:

  "Pick and spade To our aid! Flaught and flail, Fire and hail! Winds arise, and tempests brattle, And if you will the thunders rattle. Come away Elfin grey, Much to do ere break of day!

  Come with spade, and sieve, and shovel; Come with roar, and rout, and revel; Come with crow, and come with crane, Strength of steed, and weight of wain, Crash of rock, and roar of river; And, if you will, with thunders shiver! Come away, Elfin grey; Much to do ere break of day!"

  As they sung these last lines they reeled out at the door in a circularmotion, so rapid that the eye dazzled which looked on them. The poet,drawn involuntarily by the ears after that wild fairy lay, hasted outafter them. He looked east, and west, and all around, but he only sawthree crows
winging their flight toward the hill of Eildon.

  From the time of their departure the temper of the great Master becameextremely variable. At one time his visage would be clouded with thegloom of despair, and at another lighted up with a sort of horridexultation; but he spake not, save to himself.

  The friar, therefore, in order to divert his host, and gratify his ownvanity, proposed to show off some more wonders of his art. Accordinglyhe closed up all the windows once more, making the apartment as dark aspitch, and exercised many curious chemical devices, lighted Romancandles, and made them dance about the chamber in every colour of therainbow.

  He was still busily employed playing off his little ingenious tricks,when the party were disturbed by a bustle in one of the corners. Itchanced to be so dark at the moment that no one could see what was goingon; but they heard a noise as of two people struggling; then a blow, andone falling down with a groan.

  The friar paused, calling out and enquiring what it was. Charlie, neverbehind in a fray, bustled over the forms toward the scene of action; butfalling by the way, the noise was quickly removed to another corner, adoor was opened and shut, and all was again quiet.

  Every one ran about groping his way in the dark, and coming full driveagainst others, till the friar had the presence of mind to pull thestuffing out of some of the windows. The first thing they then saw wasthe poet lying on the floor, void of sense and motion; and then itquickly appeared that the steward and Delany were a-wanting. The wholeparty, save the Master, set out on the pursuit, headed by the friar andCharlie, and came just in time to rescue the maid as the wretch wasdragging her into his abominable cell. It seemed that he had determinedon seizing her as his prey, and now that the three infernal pages, histormentors, were dispatched elsewhere, he feared neither the Master norhis guests; and, taking advantage of the utter darkness, and of the poetand her being in a corner by themselves, he stole up to them, gagged themaid, silenced the poet, who resisted, with one blow, and then bore offthe helpless lady with all expedition.

  When he saw that he was overtaken and overpowered by numbers, he onlylaughed at them; and assured them that, in spite of all they could do,he would have possession of her, and that they should see. The girlwept and complained of being hurt; but then he only laughed and mockedthe louder. Some of them proposed that they should hew him all topieces, but the friar had resolved on his measures, and, at his request,they took the culprit up before the Master, and there lodged theiraccusations against him. But the Master either durst not, or would notsay a word against him; for, in fact, it appeared that this great man,without his familiar spirits, shrunk into nothing, and was not onlyafraid of his own bondsman, but of every thing around him, deeminghimself altogether without help.

  The friar's eye burned with indignation and rage, at witnessing sucharrogance on the one hand, and imbecility on the other; but his bootlesswrath only delighted the steward the more; and it was evident that, hadit not been for fear of Charlie Scott's long sword and heavy hand, hewould have taken his prey from the midst of them.

  Delany still wept and sobbed till her bosom was like to rend, and beggedto be taken away from the castle, or to be killed and put in her grave.The friar tried, with all the fair and kind speeches he was master of,to comfort her; but when she saw the poet pale, bleeding, and sittingstill unable to rise, she only waxed worse, and hid herself from the eyeof the wretch behind the friar's frock.

  "Daughter of my love, and child of many misfortunes, be thou comforted,"said the friar; "for though the wicked triumph for a space in theiriniquity, yet shall they not thrive. They who refuse to do justice tothe innocent and upright in heart shall perish in their sin, and passaway as the smoke that is driven by the wind. Therefore, my daughter, bethou comforted; and that thy heart may be cheered, I will show thee awonder of my art,--a wonder so great that whosoever seeth it his heartshall melt within him; and whosoever heareth of it his ears shalltingle. Come, whoso listeth, forth into the open air, and I will do itin the sight of heaven and of man."

  The friar then lifting up his huge portmanteau, went forth to the largepaved gateway that surrounded the whole of the uppermost arches of thecastle. It was so ample as to be like a small field, for it covered allthe castle, save four small pointed turrets, and the square apartmentwhich the party now left, that rose like a shapeless dome above all. Inone corner of this level battlement there stood a leaden vessel that hadonce been used as a cistern. To that the friar went; and, laying downhis huge walise, he took from thence a handful of blackish sand, andstrinkled it all around the battlement on the one side to the oppositecorner. He then stood and looked awfully around him. He looked to theheavens, but they were shrouded in a dark hideous cloud that now coveredthe mountains, and hung lowering over the uppermost spire of the castle.Neither the Cope-Law nor the hill of Eildon could be seen, nor couldaught be seen save the dark and troubled cloud. The scene was trulyimpressive; and when the rest saw the friar looking on it with suchapparent dread, all of them looked abroad with him, and whispered to oneanother, "He's gaun to be about some awesome enchantment now."

  The friar covered up his pormanteau with the leaden vessel, and thendesired the Master to bring any weight he chose, and heap it on itsbottom, which he had now turned uppermost, and, at one word or sign, hewould make his goat-skin wallet carry the vessel, and all such weight,round the battlements of the castle.

  The Master, and every one present, pronounced the thing to beimpossible,--the steward grinned in derision,--and, after mocking andtaunting the friar on his art in the most gross and provoking terms, heproffered to hold down the leaden tub, wallet and altogether, or toforfeit his head if he failed. Then laying himself over it, in theattitude of holding it down, he called on the friar to proceed, and givehim the promised canter round the walls, which he well deserved, hesaid, not only for his kindness to them all, and to their Miss inparticular, but also for his kind intentions. Then he scoffed aloud,crying out, "Now thou poor vain fool and liar, be as good as thy word,and give me, an it were, but one hobble."

  "God do so to me, and more also," said the friar, "if I do not give theesuch a hobble as eye hath not seen!"

  With that he struck a spark of fire among the black sand, as the restsupposed it to be, that lay among his feet. The sand caught fire,--theflame ran sputtering around the western battlement,--and the next momentthe steward and his tub bolted away into the firmament in a tremendousflash of fire, and with a sound so loud that it shook the castle to itsfoundations. Some averred that they saw, through the fire and smoke, amomentary glance of him and the cistern both, as they pierced the cloudtowards the north; but nothing further was heard or seen,--and, in asecond of time, all was quite and gloomy above and around as it had beenbefore.

 

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