Lady in Waiting

by Lady Victoria Hervey

  I no longer knew if I wanted to attend university, at least right away.

  My Masters house was bustling with activity when I arrived. Athena could be heard signing along to her radio, Cassandra, Alicia and Harriet chatted in the common room and Annie was yelling something about someone raiding her tuck box already.

  It felt great to be back—like a huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I dumped my things in my room and headed into the common room to see the girls.

  “Freddie!” Cassandra exclaimed when she saw me. She vaulted off the couch and wrapped her arms around me in a fierce hug. Before long, most of the girls had appeared and did the same.

  “How are you, sweetie?” Annie asked as she hugged me.

  I shrugged. “I’m getting there. A party tonight will certainly help! Who’s in for going to the woods after lights out?”

  “I’m in,” Athena said without missing a beat.

  “And me!”

  It was a unanimous decision.

  Jemima arrived shortly after I did and I felt the same stab of betrayal that had plagued me at the end of term. But if this summer had taught me anything, it was that life was too short, especially to hold a grudge. So I hugged Jemima in welcome and accepted her sincere condolences.

  I disappeared into my room to unpack, itching to raid my tuck box and pin posters to the walls. I had been hard at work for maybe half an hour when Housemistress tapped on the open door.

  “Hi, Freddie,” she said as she stepped into the room. “How are you, sweetheart? I was so sorry to hear about your father.”

  I gave her a tight-lipped smile and nodded. “Thank you, Housemistress. It was quite a shock.”

  “So I imagine,” she said. She stepped forward and held an envelope out to me. “This arrived for you just after term ended. I’ve kept it safe for you.”

  I accepted it. “Thank you.”

  Housemistress nodded and left the room.

  Turning the envelope over, I didn’t recognise the looping scrawled handwriting. I carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the single sheet of paper inside.

  I sat on my bed and unfolded the paper.

  Dear Freddie,

  Well, I promised a letter, did I not? I hope it finds you before you leave school for the summer, as I expect it will be an agonising wait for your reply as it is. If you even want to reply, that is.

  I looked for you at the dance after you disappeared with your friend, but to no avail. I can only hope you didn’t have second thoughts about me. That night as I drove back to Upton with my friend, I couldn’t have slept or read my book even if I wanted to—you were all I could think about.

  My mind whirled with the beautiful tree-climbing girl I met, so funny and down to earth. I want to get to know this girl better.

  I want to see her again.

  I’ve left the number you can reach me at school on at the bottom of the page—please call me if you wish to keep up our contact.

  Yours,

  Peter

  My heart thumped as I read his words.

  It was as surprising as it was unexpected. I had thought I’d never hear from him again…only to discover he wanted me to call him? A smile spread across my face before it froze.

  But if he was so enamoured with me, why had he danced with Jemima? He couldn’t have looked too hard for me if he had found her to dance with so quickly. And Jemima had all but said they’d done far more than dance together.

  With a heavy heart I refolded the letter and slid it back inside its envelope. I carried it over to the waste-paper basket, meaning to drop it inside. But I found I couldn’t. For whatever reason, I tucked it between the pages of a novel and placed it in a desk drawer, out of sight from nosey Mapleton Manor girls.

  Being a Mapleton Manor prefect meant a few things. I had more responsibilities, there were younger girls to look after and I had to be a model student—and I had a new uniform. Instead of the navy blue jumper and house tie I was accustomed to, I wore a pink and white striped blouse, a grey jumper and my prefect’s badge.

  The night before, we’d spent a touch too long in the woods. We’d drunk leftover alcohol from the year before and had smoked loads of cigarettes. Dawn had only been an hour or so away when we’d sneaked back inside, tiptoeing and trying not to giggle.

  I spent my first day as a prefect completely hung-over.

  By the end of the day all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, shut out the world and sleep away the headache that didn’t want to leave.

  My friend Athena, it seemed, had other ideas. She barged into my room just as I had climbed into bed. “What are you doing? You’re not seriously going to bed already are you?”

  I groaned and flopped back against my pillows. “Athena, I am absolutely exhausted…and I feel like death. The question should be why are you not going to bed?”

  Athena grinned and sat down cross-legged on my bed. She waved a white envelope in her hand. “Guess who I just got a letter from?”

  “Who?” I asked past a yawn.

  “Our darling friend Fenella. Seems she’s missing us already and wants us to go down next weekend to see her in London. I’m thinking some fake IDs and a London nightclub?” Athena lifted her eyebrows and waggled the envelope again like the proverbial carrot on a stick.

  I sat up straight in bed. “Really? Gosh, that sounds fun.”

  “Fun?” Athena exclaimed. “Freddie, that sounds amazing!”

  “Who else is going?”

  “Why don’t we keep it just us? It will be so suspicious if we all disappear. Plus the three of us have always been the closest.” Athena’s face softened. “I think you could use a night of fun.”

  I nodded. It sounded perfect—a night away with my two best friends. Especially a night away in London. Freedom, the chance to let my hair down and let loose…I couldn’t wait.

  Athena told me to stay put, and that she would be back in a moment. A few minutes ticked by, and when she did return, it was dressed in her pyjamas with her arms laden down with treats from her tuck box, and with the other six girls.

  A laugh bubbled in my throat at the sight of them carrying their own weight in junk food.

  “What are you all doing?”

  Annie threw herself across the bottom of my bed. “We never got our first night midnight feast. And we’re all knackered, so we’re having it now instead of the middle of the night.”

  Athena nudged me until I scooted over in my bed. She climbed in and rested her head on my shoulder as she chewed her way down a Curly Wurly. “You guys, how is it even possible that this time next year we won’t be doing this?” she asked.

  Cassandra sighed. “I know, weird, right?”

  Jemima rolled her eyes. “Yes, how absolutely tragic. I’m sure we’ll find other people to eat rubbish with.”

  “Jemima, it’s not the same,” Annie huffed. “God, you’re miserable sometimes.”

  “Here, here,” Harriet said with a laugh. “I don’t think she’s worthy of being a part of early-night feasts.”

  “Harriet’s right…” Alicia murmured. “Seize the ingrate!”

  We launched ourselves at Jemima who gave a squeal of fright and held her snacks to her chest as though they were her first born. We ended up a laughing, rolling mass of hair and limbs as we tried to prise Jemima’s things out of her grip. But she must have really liked those Wagon Wheels because she wasn’t for parting with them.

  My bedroom door flew open and Housemistress stepped inside. She stared down at us, a perplexed look on her face. “I’m not even going to ask. Keep it down, girls, or I will have to send you to your rooms.”

  The moment my bedroom door was closed again, we burst into uncontrollable laughter. I clutched my belly and laughed so hard I went silent.

  This was what I needed. My girls, my family. They made me feel like me again.

  Upper Sixth was like being thrown in at the deep end when I couldn’t swim. There was no easing into the new term, no slow departure fro
m the station. Just a head dive into the busiest year I had ever faced.

  The trips for this year’s classes were fabulous, including one to China after Christmas. Rome and Russia were two I looked forward to also.

  On the first day of classes after the summer holidays, each teacher took it upon themselves to give us a ten-minute lecture on the importance of the year. How this was the year to make all our past Mapleton Manor years count, and to have something to stand up and show for our dedication to learning.

  If we wanted to get into a top university, then we had to work hard and buckle down to get the As needed to beat out the competition.

  It left me with a sour feeling in my mouth and uneasiness in my belly. A heavy pressure settled over my shoulders again, made worse by the telephone call with Mummy the first Sunday of term. She reminded me again to work hard…and to make Daddy proud.

  The trip to see Fenella couldn’t have come any sooner. The days leading up to it saw me and Athena hopping about like crickets who couldn’t contain our excitement.

  We didn’t tell the other girls where we were going. Partly because they would have only wanted to come with us and therefore make getting caught likely, and partly because…it was sort of exciting to sneak away twice, in effects. Once from school, once from our friends.

  On Saturday morning, we started to lay the groundwork to get away. After breakfast I complained loudly of a stomach ache, and Athena pulled back on her usual big personality. By lunch I had gone to my room to lie down, and hopefully people had begun to think there was something wrong with Athena, too.

  Housemistress came to check on us, and I told her I felt quite sick and tired. She mentioned Athena felt much the same, and she quickly advised me to stay in bed like Athena was. Bugs and viruses ripped through dormitories like wildfire, and it was best to keep it as contained as possible.

  When everyone left for dinner, we made our escape.

  Athena and I stuffed our beds to make it look like we were sleeping soundly in them. We pulled the curtains closed tight and Athena even placed a bucket by the side of her bed for effect.

  Dressed in our party clothes with jeans and flannel shirts on top, we climbed out of my window and shimmied down a drainpipe to the bottom. From there we darted into the woods so we were out of sight, and made our way through the thickets to the road into town.

  We had to walk to Dambrook Station in the Ville, as stashing our bicycles would have been too conspicuous, but we didn’t care. It didn’t take us long to make it to the Ville, though it would have been quicker if we hadn’t dived into the hedges every time we heard a car trundle down the road, convinced it was someone from school come to fetch us.

  At the station, we shed our outer layers, leaving us in our party clothes. We stuffed the others in a plastic bag and hid them in the hedge surrounding the train station for us to collect in the early hours of the morning when we returned.

  The two hour journey into London took forever and a day. We just wanted to get there and see Fenella and enjoy the night. It was just before nine p.m. when the train finally rolled into the station. We stood at the doors, hopping on the balls of our feet as we waited for them to open.

  They finally did, and we jumped out of the train and rushed to the exit. We spotted her next to a news stand, searching the crowds.

  “Fenella!” I shouted.

  She turned in our direction, her face morphing into undisguised excitement when she spotted us. Fenella ran towards us at full speed and almost knocked us to the ground as she wrapped her arms around the two of us.

  We laughed and squealed, jumping up and down in our little huddle.

  “I am so pleased to see you both!” Fenella gushed as she released us. “Tell me, how is it without me? Is it just awful? Is everyone just ever so sad?”

  “Ever so sad, Fenella,” Athena said in a teasing voice. “Seriously, though, it’s good to see you.”

  Her smile widened before it turned softer as she directed it my way. “I’m so sorry about your dad, Freddie. How are you doing?”

  I shrugged. “Better now I’m here,” I said with a forced smile. The truth was, while I appreciated everyone’s sympathy, I didn’t want it anymore. I wanted to get back to normal. But first I had to accept that this was my new normal—accept that I had to live a life without my father.

  Fenella nodded and didn’t say another word about the matter, and I knew she got it. Situating herself in the middle, Fenella linked her arms through Athena’s and mine and guided us out of the station. “I hope you two are prepared, because we’re going to this amazing club tonight that will blow your minds.”

  Athena whooped, and I cheered.

  Bring. It. On.

  Fenella took us to her friend’s studio apartment where we could do our makeup and freshen up a little before we hit the town. It turned out to belong to the sister of a girl Fenella went to Sixth Form College with, who was away for the weekend. She didn’t mind us using the flat, so long as we promised not to destroy it.

  We drank cheap, horrific tasting wine that made me screw up my face as I drank it, and danced to the music on the radio. At eleven, the three of us, half drunk on that foul wine, hopped on a night bus to Leicester Square.

  Liquid, the name of the nightclub, was emblazoned on the front of the building in a luminescent light, a two-tone theatre mask above it. There was already an enormous queue to get in and we grudgingly joined the end of it.

  Thankfully it was a warm night and not intolerable to wait. But the longer we did wait, the more I vowed to one day make it to be the sort of person who never had to queue to get in places. Ever.

  It’s all about ambition…

  “These IDs had better work, Freddie,” Fenella whispered as we neared the front of the line.

  “They will,” I assured her. “But they won’t unless you get that frightened look off your face. Confidence, Fenella, it’s all about confidence.”

  When it was our turn, I went first, strolling up to the bouncers and not stopping when they didn’t ask me for ID. Just inside the door, I turned to watch my friends.

  Athena, who had confidence in spades, did the same as me, and marched straight for the door as though she owned the place. But Fenella, who hung behind Athena like a shadow, was stopped as the bouncer placed his hand on her arm.

  She tilted her head and smiled, looking gorgeous. I bit my lip to stifle the giggle that bubbled in my throat. Fenella’s plan was obvious—if she couldn’t blag her way in with confidence, she’d knock their socks off with her charm.

  Fenella pulled the fake ID I had made for her earlier in the week out of her purse. She handed it to one of the bouncers and laughed at something he said. Fenella accepted the ID back from him, and gave him a sultry smile as she sauntered past him to join us.

  Once she was clear, Fenella mouthed, “Oh my God” and grabbed my arm. “That was bloody terrifying!” she exclaimed as we made our way farther inside so we could pay our admission.

  “But you did it. The first time is the hardest, you know.” Athena paid for the three of us and we headed inside. “It’s all downhill after this!”

  I pulled open one of the heavy double doors that led into the main entrance of the nightclub. Rave music blasted, hitting us as we moved inside. The chrome and mirror style of the interior made the place look and feel edgy with people reflecting off of every surface.

  Bodies were crammed into the sunken dance floor, writhing and moving to music that blasted my eardrums. I pointed to the bar, and the girls nodded. Leading the girls, I pushed my way through the throng of people.

  We were served our vodkas and lemonades with no trouble, the bartender not even blinking at our order. Athena gulped hers down and slammed the empty glass on the bar.

  “Who’s dancing?” she yelled over the music.

  Fenella held her hand up and quickly finished her drink, and I followed suit. Athena led the way to the dance floor and we found a great spot near the DJ booth where we could shake
and shimmy the night away.

  We danced for hours, the best exercise ever. Guys bought us drinks, wanted to dance with us and paid us so much attention it threatened to give me a fat head and an inflated ego… I doubted my friends felt differently.

  I felt free.

  I felt capable of anything, the world was my oyster and all that. Most of all…I felt happy.

  It could be explained by the vodka, but at the point I really didn’t care. I was with my two best friends, guys were paying me attention and I had made a decision because I wanted to—not because of anyone else. Once upon a time, I probably wouldn’t have even gone. I’d have been afraid of disappointing Mummy if I got caught.

  Sneaking out into the woods was a far cry from sneaking out to London.

  But something told me that I wouldn’t be missing my dear friend Fenella too much…because I would be visiting her often.

  In the early hours of the morning, the three of us stumbled out of Liquid and headed back to the apartment. Athena sprawled across an armchair, and Fenella and I took the couch.

  We hadn’t intended on falling asleep because our train was stupidly early, but exhaustion combined with quite a lot of vodka made this an impossible task.

  I woke to Athena shaking me, a look of panic on her face. “What’s the matter?” I asked, grimacing at the awful, furry texture to my mouth. “And what’s that smell?”

  “You. That smell is you. Now get up or we’re going to miss the train!” Athena groaned like the last thing in the world she wanted to do was rush around and catch a train. Which I completely empathised with, because it was also the last thing in the world that I wanted to do.

  I shoved Fenella’s foot away, which had been embedded in my ribs and staggered to my feet. In the bathroom, I smeared some toothpaste onto my finger and attempted to use it as a makeshift brush. Fenella had risen when I came out, and had poured us all massive glasses of water.

  We downed them then rushed out of the apartment to the train station.

  Bleary-eyed and feeling quite drunk still, I was pulled into a huddle with my friends. We hugged each other tightly and promised to see each other soon. An announcement was made over the loudspeaker that our train would be departing in one minute.