Accept Me

by Marion Ueckermann

  Probably because you gave it to me, at least the first part.

  Kay’s lips, colored a peachy hue, parted as she gasped. “You’re the new girl in town, aren’t you? Asthma girl?”

  Seriously? Did everyone know everyone’s business in Chapel Cove? Except for the Alversons’ business perhaps?

  A fake smile found its way to Haddie’s face. “That’s me.”

  “It’s funding for asthma research then, isn’t it?” Kay tried again.

  Haddie was starting to get slightly annoyed. This woman was skirting around the truth, trying her best to avoid it. She had to know who she was. Her name… The resemblance to her other daughter…

  Well, no more.

  Haddie sat forward and looked her in the eye. “Are you my mother?”

  Elisama almost dropped the tray as she entered. Haddie hadn’t even heard her open the door.

  The housekeeper hurried across the library, avoiding eye contact with both her employer and Haddie. She set the tray down on a small table between the two armchairs then rushed out again, shutting the door behind her.

  Kay didn’t say a word. She merely lifted the milk jug and poured a little into each cup. Then she filled the cups with the hot brew the color of her daughter’s hair. Not Haddie’s, Anna’s.

  She handed Haddie a cup, a vintage bone china with clusters of purple flowers set against a creamy background, clearly processing Haddie’s last four words.

  “Why would you think I’m your mother?”

  “B–because it all makes sense now.” At least, it had last night. Haddie slid the cup back onto the tray. “The place you live, Portland, is where I was born, and adopted from twenty-eight years ago this past November. Chapel Cove is the place listed on my birth certificate. Did you have an affair? Was I the love child your husband couldn’t bear to keep, Kayleigh Scott?”

  Kay left her tea untouched on the tray. Her perfectly-shaped brows rose. “What? Who told you such lies? And who is Kayleigh Scott?”

  Haddie wasn’t going to let her play dumb. She wasn’t leaving this house until her mother owned up to what she’d done. “Kayleigh Scott—that’s your real name, isn’t it, before you shortened it to Kay? And your maiden name.”

  “Scott is not my maiden name. And I don’t have a love child. I’ve never cheated on my husband in the thirty-two years we’ve been married. I’m sorry, Haddie, but you have the wrong woman.”

  Haddie shot to her feet, distraught. “You’re lying! Just look at me… Look at Anna... We’re practically identical.” Her voice began to crack as tears welled in her eyes then spilled.

  Shifting to the edge of her seat, Kay held out her hand and took Haddie’s. Compassion filled her face. “Please, sit down. I wish I could be your mother, Haddie, truly, but I’m not. The Lord knows you’d make a finer daughter than our headstrong Anna, although we do love her.”

  Her body trembling, Haddie sat back down. Had she been wrong?

  “I’m not your mother, and I can prove it, even though I can understand how you could think that perhaps I was. You do bear a striking resemblance to Anna. I’m not surprised you thought you were sisters.”

  Kay lifted her cup and took a long sip of tea. “During the entire month of November, twenty-eight years ago,” she continued as she set the cup back on its saucer, “my husband, Vince, Anna, and I were on vacation in Mauritius. I remember this because Anna was only eighteen months old, and Vince had— Well, he’d been under an enormous amount of stress at work. Our doctor recommended a month of complete rest, preferably somewhere far away from home, and the office—especially the office—that was filled with golden sunshine, an azure ocean, and white beaches. Mauritius fit the doctor’s orders perfectly.”

  She had an alibi. She wasn’t her mother.

  “You can ask my husband if you don’t believe me. He’ll be home shortly.”

  “No. That won’t be necessary. I–I’m sorry to have troubled you, Mrs. Alverson. Please, forgive me for my accusations and outburst.”

  Haddie stood and fled from the room. And the house.

  Hands shaking, she started her car and sped off down the road with no clue where to go. She couldn’t return to Ivy’s yet. And she definitely didn’t want to see Riley. Kay Alverson not being her mother didn’t change the fact that Anna Alverson was Riley’s other girlfriend.

  By the time Haddie reached the tiny white Chapel up on the hill overlooking the ocean that she’d heard so much about, she’d come to a conclusion. She couldn’t stay in Chapel Cove any longer. She’d made a complete fool of herself, and no doubt, that news would spread like a virus through this town. Just as asthma girl had. She couldn’t bear the ridicule, the sniggers behind her back. Her quest was over. It had only brought her more heartache. What did it matter anymore who her birth mother was?

  She took her phone out of her bag and dialed a number.

  “Daddy…” Haddie burst into tears. When she’d finally composed herself, she continued, “I’m coming home, as soon as I can get a flight. Hopefully tomorrow.”

  “Haddie, my sweet girl, I’m so sorry things seem to have not worked out for you. When you’re here, we can talk further about it. I can’t wait to see you. I love you.”

  “I love you too, Dad.”

  After she cut the call, she left her car and entered the tiny Chapel big enough for five two-seater wooden pews on each side of a narrow aisle. She walked down the aisle and sank to her knees in front of a dusty wooden cross.

  A sob escaped her throat, although to Haddie it sounded more like a loud bleat.

  “Father, I’ve been such a fool, and I’ve made such a mess trying to take my life into my own hands, trying to forge my own destiny. Please forgive me and help me find closure to this very short chapter of my life. Help me accept the things I might never know, and to rest in the knowledge that You do and that’s all that matters.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  AS HADDIE zipped her suitcase closed, a knock sounded at the door. Her first thought was to hide her luggage, but what would be the purpose? Whoever was on the other side of that door would know soon enough that she was leaving today.

  Her heart beat faster. What if it was Riley? Although surely he’d use the side entrance, not the one from the bookshop.

  Whatever, she didn’t want to see him, less talk to him.

  That wasn’t really true. She’d give anything to see him and talk to him as they always had. But Thursday night… Well, she had seen a different side of him. Dark. Secretive. Selfish.

  “I’m coming.”

  Surely it wouldn’t be him though. He used the entrance that led into her apartment from Ivy’s back yard, not from the bookshop.

  Oh, the sweet kisses they’d shared on that porch over the past two weeks.

  No, she couldn’t think about that. They were all a lie. They weren’t sweet. She needed to focus on that fact.

  Haddie opened the door. Ivy. Exactly the person she needed to talk to, although if she had any choice and could put this conversation off, she would. Ivy had been so good to her, and Haddie felt as if she was stabbing her in the back leaving this way, leaving now.

  Ivy’s gaze immediately fell to the case on the bed, Haddie’s laptop and tote propped against it.

  “Are you going somewhere?”

  Haddie swallowed hard then shut the door behind Ivy. “Come in and sit. Would you like a cup of tea or coffee?”

  Ivy shook her head. “I wouldn’t want to delay you.” There was a coolness in her voice. She was hurt, Haddie was sure. Probably thought Haddie planned to skip town without a word to her. Well that simply wasn’t true. Since she’d made the decision last night to return to Kentucky, it had been on her checklist to sit down with Ivy and explain, without going into any details of the embarrassing event at the Alversons last night. It probably wouldn’t be too long before Ivy heard about that anyway.

  And Riley. He could draw his own conclusions then.

  One thing that hadn’t been on her checkl
ist, and never would be, was returning the text messages from Riley asking her if they could meet this morning at ten on the beach near the boardwalk. He said he needed to speak to her urgently.

  “All right. But please sit down for a while and let me explain that.” Haddie tipped her head toward her luggage.

  Ivy slid onto one of the chairs at the small round table, the place Haddie, Ivy, and Riley had enjoyed long chats and laughter.

  Haddie sat down opposite her. “I was going to come and talk to you this morning, before I left.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home. Kentucky.” She’d had to clarify because only a few days earlier she’d started to believe that Chapel Cove could hold a future for her. But there was nothing for her here. Not anymore. No mother. No siblings. No Riley.

  Ivy leaned forward, reaching for Haddie’s hand. “Has something happened to your father? Is that why you need to leave so suddenly?” Concern laced her voice.

  “N–no. My dad is fine, except for missing me.”

  Ivy leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. “You’re giving up, aren’t you?”

  Haddie pursed her lips and shrugged. “It’s been almost a month and I’ve made no headway. I don’t believe I’m going to find her. Maybe she never even lived here, just randomly chose a place to put onto my birth certificate.”

  Ivy shook her head, seeming not to believe Haddie’s excuse. “I don’t think you’ve tried hard enough, Haddie, or given it enough time. And I’m almost certain your leaving has nothing to do with failure of finding your mother. Something else is going on here. I just wish you’d trust me enough to confide in me.”

  “I–I’m sorry, Ivy. I finished the secondhand books section last night. Every book is catalogued in the system and lined up on its shelf. I can help remotely from Kentucky next week to hand over the Amazon Marketplace to someone, probably best Fern, and show her how to run that. And I’m only a call away if you need to know anything.”

  Ivy removed one of the peonies from the vase and lifted it to her nose. She inhaled its sweet and rosy fragrance then glanced over the bloom at Haddie, a sadness filling her face. “Then can I call you now and ask why you’re really leaving?”

  Haddie offered Ivy a weak smile then stood. “I–I should finish up here. I still have one stop to make, one place to say goodbye to, and then I’ll be leaving for Portland.” Ivy didn’t need to know that she could only get a flight at eleven thirty tonight. She’d only try to make her stay longer, talk her out of going. And Haddie wouldn’t mind killing a little time alone at The Pancake Shoppe for one last sinful chocolate pancake stack. It would certainly shorten the long wait at Portland airport she had to look forward to. Besides, after what she planned to do next, she’d need something to sweeten the pain of loss, of saying goodbye.

  Sitting on the soft beach sand, gazing across the gray ocean, a few shades darker than the skies overhead, Riley checked his phone again for messages.

  Nothing.

  Haddie, what’s going on? Why haven’t you responded to me? Why do you seem to be avoiding me?

  He tried calling her. Again. Once more, her phone went to voice mail.

  Something was wrong. Very wrong.

  Apprehension clutched his chest, refusing to let go. What if she’d had another severe asthma attack and been taken to hospital in Portland? He quickly dismissed the thought. He would’ve heard from the guys at the fire station. And if something had happened during the day yesterday, he would’ve been the one to respond to the call.

  A seagull squawked above his head. It might not be a crow, but its shrill call still sent shivers of impending doom down Riley’s spine.

  He shoved to his feet. He’d waited long enough. Haddie wasn’t going to show, he was certain. And he had to find out why.

  Riley jogged back to his Jeep then tore out of the parking lot behind the boardwalk.

  Within minutes, he pulled the vehicle to a stop outside Ivy’s. The moment his feet touched the ground, he sprinted to the side of the two-story Victorian House then pounded on the door to Haddie’s apartment.

  “Haddie! Haddie!”

  Silence returned his call.

  Riley ran around to the front of the house, his eyes scanning the street. Haddie’s car wasn’t there. She might’ve gone into town, but something gnawed in Riley’s gut that he was clutching at straws with that explanation.

  He took the stairs to the bookshop’s entrance. The bell above the door tinkled as he entered. Fern stood behind the counter, ringing up a customer’s purchase.

  Riley stepped beside the woman with two young children clinging to her legs. “I’m so sorry to interrupt—” He shifted his gaze to Fern. “Is Ivy here?”

  She nodded. “In the second-hand books section.”

  “Thanks.” Riley swung around and darted into the room behind him.

  Ivy stood with her back to him, gazing up at the neatly shelved books.

  “Ivy, do you know where Haddie is? I’m worried. She’s not answering my calls or texts.”

  Ivy turned around slowly like one of those jewelry box ballerinas that had stood on his mother’s dresser. Her cheeks glistened and Riley’s pulse quickened. “She left. And I’m going to miss her so much. I do already.”

  Left? As in left Chapel Cove? Left the bookshop and the apartment?

  Riley’s despairing eyes widened. He stepped closer. “Do you know where she’s gone?”

  “To Portland. The airport.”

  She was leaving? Without saying goodbye?

  Ivy brushed her palms across her cheeks. “Although she did say she had a stop to make, some place she had to say goodbye to.”

  A stop? “Could she have gone to the beach? Or The Pancake Shoppe? Aileen’s? Think Ivy.”

  Ivy shook her silvery head. “I–I don’t know. I don’t think so. The way Haddie was dressed, it looked as if she might be going to a funeral, not to enjoy some place for one last time. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful, elegant black dress, one that looks stunning on Haddie. In fact, it’s the same dress she wore to The Fisherman’s Hook on Thursday night.”

  Riley’s heart skipped several beats. “H–Haddie was at The Fisherman’s Hook on Valentine’s?”

  “Yes. And don’t worry, she wasn’t out on a date. She was with me.” Ivy crossed her arms. “What? Did you expect Haddie to sit at home and mope because you were unable to take her out? Although I’m beginning to wonder at my wisdom in taking her there. By the time our food arrived at the table, she’d lost her appetite. And she’s been acting strange ever since. Do you know that she finished up this room on Friday night? She must’ve worked late into the night after she’d returned from her afternoon appointment. I don’t know how late that was. I’d gone upstairs by then and never heard her return.”

  She narrowed her gaze. “Where were you on Thursday night, anyway?”

  It all made sense now. Well, some of it. Haddie must’ve seen him and Anna in the restaurant and reached the only conclusion she could—that he was cheating on her.

  He drew in air then exhaled, pursing his lips for a moment before speaking. “Fulfilling a twelve thousand dollar commitment.”

  Ivy’s eyes widened. “You were Anna Alverson’s date? Oh Riley, I’m so sorry. I feel totally responsible for this mess. If I’d just left her curled up on her bed reading her love story and hadn’t insisted on taking her out, she’d still be here. With us.”

  Riley drew Ivy into a reassuring hug. “It’s not your fault. You couldn’t have known. And I should’ve told Haddie everything. I didn’t lie when I told her I couldn’t see her on Thursday night because I had a previous commitment I couldn’t get out of, but my version of the truth was very selective.”

  “At least I understand now what changed Haddie.” Ivy squeezed his arms as she stepped back. “I’ve been so worried that I said or did something to offend her.”

  “You, Ivy? Never!” He grinned, and Ivy cracked a smile.

  “I’ve got
to go. I need to find Haddie and convince her to stay.” Riley shot out of the room.

  As he exited the bookshop, heading for the path to the road, he heard Ivy shout back. “Go get our girl!”

  The Jeep’s tires squealed as he sped away. He was going out on a limb here, but he was certain that Haddie had gone to the stables, and the old house she’d fallen in love with. The place they’d first kissed—it had to be there. And if he was too late and she’d already left, he’d drive those mountain roads to Portland as fast as he could in order to catch her before she got on the plane back to Kentucky.

  Holding tightly to the bunch of peonies, the necklace Riley had given her dangling from her fingers, Haddie walked up the steps of the old house. She glanced back at Freckles, tied to the post at the end of the banister. Nibbling on the gorse, the Appaloosa seemed quite content to wait for as long as was necessary.

  Haddie was grateful Tash had insisted on her taking Freckles. The horse was already saddled, along with Myrtle, for an eleven o’clock client.

  “I know it’s not that far to the old house, but you can’t walk on the uneven path in those boots,” the stable-owner had said.

  Haddie had wanted to counter she couldn’t ride in a tight knitted dress either, but her father had taught her to ride side-saddle when she was a little girl, so she didn’t really have an excuse. And riding did save her time, not to mention those heels. So she’d accepted the offer, promising to be back by eleven.

  The door creaked as she pushed it open. What she was about to do might seem silly to most people, but Haddie needed to do this. Just as she and her father needed to bury her mother after she’d died, just so Haddie needed to bury her feelings for Riley. No, her love, because those feelings had quickly developed into a much deeper emotion. And what better place to do that than the place where her love had been born?

  The sun didn’t shine through the parlor window today, and even though Haddie couldn’t see those dust mites, she had no doubt they still danced. If only she could dance in her gloom.