by Sara Summers
“Never mind, I—“
“Kina, there is nothing I want more than to hold you.” He slipped under the blankets, and every part of me warmed even more with the contact when his legs met mine.
We got comfortable in the bed, Rhett’s arm draping over my waist while I rolled to sleep on my stomach, the way I always did. It was so simple, something we’d done hundreds of times, yet it meant everything to me.
My eyes closed and my mind wandered back to the fact that there might be another girl. As much as I tried to forget it and relax, I couldn’t.
“Is there…” I bit my lip, regretting the beginning of the question as soon as it came out. His breathing was fairly even, so I hoped maybe he’d fallen asleep immediately and hadn’t heard the question.
“Is there what?” his voice was soft, prodding me to continue. I swore at myself for bringing it up.
“Never mind.” My eyes slammed shut, frustration pooling inside me. What was I doing? Rhett had crushed me when he left, was I really opening myself up for that to happen again? I mean, what if there was another girl?
“Kina, spit it out.” He warned, the same way he would’ve when we were teenagers. He hated passive aggressiveness and secrets in general, so we’d never had any. He’d prod me until I admitted what was bugging me, and we’d fix things. Gosh, it had been so perfect.
Until it wasn’t.
“Are you with another girl?”
Rhett didn’t answer right away, and my heart sank.
His hand found my hip as he rolled me over quickly but gently. Our eyes met, and I saw some fierce emotion I couldn’t identify in his dark eyes.
“There was never anyone for me but you, and there never will be. You’re my world even when I’m not with you.”
Something caught in my throat and tears stung my eyes, threatening to make an appearance. I rolled back to my stomach so the few tears could fall to my pillow. How could he just come out and say it so easily? Like he’d never walked away from me?
“Has there ever been another guy for you? You told Cameron you don’t date, but…” he sounded a little insecure just asking.
The mean part of me that still sort of hated him wanted to lie and pretend I had someone else. But I’d spent years in therapy gaining control of that side of myself, so ignoring it wasn’t a problem. Especially after feeling how much pain he’d been in.
“No. I went on a date last year, even let the guy kiss me, but it felt wrong. I kept wishing he was you. Everything felt right with you.” I admitted. The only reason I could even tell him was because I was facing away from him, so I didn’t have to meet his eyes.
“Everything feels wrong without you.” Rhett’s voice was gruff, and his arm draped back over my waist. He didn’t roll me over again, which I was glad about because I was still crying a little. “I still love you, Kina. I always will.”
I shut my eyes hard.
“Rhett, I can’t do this.”
“I know. Just let me hold you.” His hand ran down the length of my hair, and I suppressed the best kind of shiver. How had I gone so long without cuddling him? Without touching him? Without even being near him? Even while I was going through withdrawal, he made me feel so alive.
We fell asleep like that, like we had so many times before. My mind and body relaxed like they hadn’t years, and as crazy as it sounds, I felt calm all the way to my soul. Despite everything, Rhett was my world as much as I was his.
I just hoped that wouldn’t come back to bite me.
RHETT
For the first time in three years, I slept all night long. Or all day I guess, since we didn’t go to sleep until 3 AM. It was 5 PM when I finally woke up to an empty bed that smelled better than heaven.
“Do you want me to kick him out?” Stetson’s voice floated in from the kitchen. “I can drive him home.”
“No, I don’t think he’s been sleeping well.” Kina’s voice was closer to the bedroom door than Rhett’s.
“You’re a good woman, Kina. He doesn’t deserve you.” My brother was probably grinning like a fool; it was his signature expression. He rarely stopped grinning. She laughed in response, and my lips tilted upward at the sound. There was nothing better than her laugh.
“Shut up.” She said, her hand twisting the doorknob. She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, her eyes meeting mine when she did. “Oh, you’re awake.”
“Just woke up.” I gave her a wry smile. “Did you sleep okay?”
“Better than I have in a long time.” She admitted, tucking a strand of silky hair behind her ear. “I’m leaving though, which means I have to change. So, scram.” She motioned with her hand, brushing me toward the door.
I yawned and stretched my arms over my head.
“I’m going back to sleep.” I lied. Honestly, I didn’t want to leave her bed. Her scent was insanely perfect, and laying in her space had me feeling like I was on cloud nine.
“Don’t push me, Rhett Roran.” She warned, her eyes narrowing at me. “I still haven’t forgiven you, so we’re not jumping back into a place where you can watch me change. Get out.”
“Alright, fine. Where are you going?”
“Kennedy’s taking me to my meeting, and I’ll drive my car home afterward. I’ve got classes tomorrow.”
“I know.”
Kina frowned.
“How would you know that I’m in school? You didn’t know I was close with your mom, so who told you?”
Crap.
“No one.” I admitted. It was time to come clean. “I sort of… see you.” I rubbed the back of my neck, hoping she wouldn’t ask for more details but knowing that she would.
“You sort of see me? What, are you stalking me?” She folded her arms. “That’s freaking creepy, Rhett. Get out of my bed.”
I sat up straighter, slipping my legs over the edge but not getting off of the mattress completely.
“I’m not stalking you. Remember how I always know where you are? My mental GPS?”
“The Kina-finder? Sure.” She relaxed a lot. “Oh, good. So you just know that I go to the school. That makes sense.”
“Well…” I grimaced. I had to tell her the whole truth, but there was a good chance she wouldn’t like it. “The Kina-finder sort of leveled up while we were apart. It’s why I haven’t slept much. When I close my eyes for more than a few seconds, I see whatever you’re seeing.”
She blinked at me for a good minute and a half before her hand lifted, pointing toward the door.
“Get out.”
This time, I did.
My mom and Rhett were sitting on the couch, their eyebrows raised at me.
“We tell each other the truth.” I told them.
“Yeah, but you could’ve waited a few days. Now you’ve got no chance, man.” Stetson folded his arms, leaning into the couch.
“Now she knows she can still trust me to be honest.” I countered.
Stetson shook his head at me, but my mom gave me a small smile.
“You’re right, the truth means a lot to Kina. Thank you for telling her.”
“You don’t have to thank me, mom. She’s my soulmate.” I grabbed my keys and headed out to my car to get the bag of clothes I’d packed the night before. By the time I got back up to the apartment, Kina was pulling her purse over her head. Her eyes met mine, and she quickly looked away.
“Alright, let’s go.” She grabbed my mom’s hand and pulled her out the door.
I didn’t protest. Kina was the kind of girl who needed time to process things. She always had been, and probably always would be. If I let that bother me, I’d be a sucky soulmate.
“Can I take your car back to Mount Edge?” Stetson checked.
“I can drop you off. I need to grab some more stuff anyway.”
Stetson studied me for a few long seconds.
“You’re really doing this?” He finally asked.
“I’m really doing this.” I agreed. There was no going back now. I couldn’t walk away f
rom Kina again, not after finding out how messed up she’d been over it.
“It’s about time.” Stetson pulled me in for a hug, slapping my back. “You’ve been a zombie for too long. She made you alive before, so you’d dang well better let her make you alive again.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the spare key my mom had used to get in from off the counter to lock the door behind us. Slipping it in my pocket, I headed down the stairs and out the door.
Stetson was right. I’d been a zombie when I was away from Kina, but things were going to change. Even if I had to sleep on her couch for the next three years, I would win my soulmate back.
When Kina came home, I was playing a video game. I’d hooked up my PS4 beside hers, my TV set up on the floor, resting up against the console beneath her mounted one.
Her eyes met mine for a brief moment. When my lips lifted in a smile, she both looked and stepped away from me.
“You should go home.” She told Kennedy. I tried to hide my surprise, my eyes remaining focused on the screen as I played on the equivalent of auto-drive. “I’m sure you miss Grant, and my couch isn’t exactly comfortable. I’ll be okay.”
My mom hesitated, glancing between the two of us.
“Really, I’m fine. I’ll take his phone and call you if I need you, since mine is still hidden and all.”
After a long pause, mom finally nodded.
“Alright. But I’ll talk to Rhett and make sure someone’s here with you all the time. You shouldn’t be alone for a while.”
“Agreed.” Kina seemed to know her limits pretty well, which was good because I didn’t.
“Rhett, walk me to my car?” Mom asked, though the tone of her voice told me it wasn’t a suggestion. After taking care of my soulmate for so long she could’ve asked for my right leg and I would’ve happily given it up, so walking her to her car and taking a lecture or scolding wasn’t a big deal.
I dropped my controller on the couch and followed her out the door. In the corner of my eye I saw Kina’s body tense as I started to leave, so I spun around quickly, my eye meeting hers.
“I’ll be back inside in a few minutes, no matter what.” I vowed. It would be a long time before she trusted me not to leave again, but I knew and deserved that. It wouldn’t sway me.
She bit her lip but nodded once, so I turned back around and left the apartment with my mom. We walked down the stairs together before my mom turned and looked at me. Her eyes were serious, and her hand lifted to my arm.
“Are you sure about this? There’s no going back from here, Rhett. You either want to be with her or you don’t. Kina is incredibly strong, but she’s also sensitive and tender-hearted. She’s been through more than you know, and she wouldn’t cope well with being left again.”
“Mom, I’ve spent the last three years reliving the one we spent together. I haven’t slept more than a few hours since I walked away, and I only stayed away because I convinced myself she was better off without me. I don’t want to go back, and I won’t leave her again.”
My mom’s eyes searched my face. She hadn’t always been able to read me or she probably would’ve had me in therapy years ago, but anyone could’ve read the honesty in my eyes.
She finally nodded, and then wrapped her arms around me the same way Stetson had earlier, except her hug was tighter and much fiercer.
“I love you.” She murmured, letting go and holding out her hand. “Now give me back my key.”
There was no question that the key she referred to was the one to Kina’s apartment that I’d snagged from the kitchen counter earlier.
“If I give it back to you, she’ll lock me out.” I pointed out, though my hand reached into my pocket for the key.
“No, I don’t think she will.” Mom’s lips curved up just a little. “But I’ll make you a copy just in case. I probably want you two together more than either of you do.”
I grinned and hugged her again.
“Thanks, mom.”
“Don’t thank me until she agrees to be with you again. Something tells me it’ll be a good, long while.”
“That’s alright, I’m in for the long haul. Just being in the same space as her is enough for me.”
“Then maybe I raised you right after all.” Mom winked, letting go of me and stepping back. “Let her set the pace and make the decisions.”
“I know. I’ve got a little experience with my soulmate, you know. Go kiss dad, I’m sure he’s grumpy like he always is when you’re gone.” I gave her a little push toward the car.
“I’m going, I’m going.” She smiled, crossing the parking lot to her car. Pulling open the door, she turned to me with serious eyes again. “Take care of her, Rhett.”
“I will.” I promised. There was nothing I wanted more than to take care of Kina.
Well, except maybe to kiss her.
When I stepped back through the door, Kina had taken my seat on the couch and had taken over playing the game for me. My eyebrows lifted.
“You were getting smoked. I had a moral obligation to kick butt.” She said without lifting her eyes from the screen.
I grinned, taking a seat beside her. Her left side pressed into my right, and I was so horny that even just that turned me on. Kina and I had done a lot together before I walked away, but we’d never played video games. I’d picked them up when I couldn’t sleep afterward, and it looked like she’d done the same because she was kicking trash.
“I didn’t know you had a PS4.” I commented. I knew she played video games, but I assumed she’d go with Xbox for some reason.
“I didn’t know you had one either. Get this; we’re friends on PlayStation. I’m purpleslice, watervoid.”
“Seriously? We’ve done like a thousand dungeons together on ESO?” I lifted my eyebrows. Neither of us used mics or headsets when we played, so there was no way to know who each other were.
“Seriously. How can you not know that with your new and improved Kina-finder?” her voice was dry.
“Well I’ve tried to avoid creeping you. You tend to take baths late at night, so I play video games. As much as I like your naked body, I prefer to see it through my eyes rather than yours. And I’ve seen you playing video games before, but not ESO.”
“Hmm.” She nodded. “I’m pretty into Fortnite too.” She gestured to the screen, since that was the game I’d been playing when she snagged the controller.
“Yeah, I started playing when I saw you played it. Never imagined we were actually playing together though. Everyone’s into Fortnite.”
“True.”
I leaned back into the couch, wanting to put my arm over her shoulders but figuring I’d pushed her enough for the time being.
“So am I sleeping in the bed or on the couch?” I casually broached the subject. While I prayed she’d say bed, I knew the chance of that was slim.
“Couch.” She didn’t hesitate.
“Good. I’ve been dreaming about sleeping on a couch.” I lied.
Kina rolled her eyes as the game ended and handed me back the remote.
“I’m going to go take that bath. Peek at my boobs with your Kina-stalker and I will punch you.” She waved her bruised fist at me.
“Kina, I don’t want to peek at your boobs. I want to touch them. Since that’s not a possibility right now, there will be no peeking.” My face was straight, though my lips twitched.
She grabbed a pillow and smacked me with it, but I could see her biting back a grin.
“You’re an idiot.”
“A warm idiot. If you need me to cuddle you tonight, or any night from here on out, you just leave your bedroom door open. If it’s shut I’ll stay away, and if it’s open, I’ll come and hold you.”
“Goodnight, Rhett.” She dropped the pillow and walked back to her room. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t turn to watch her backside as she moved.
KINA
The next morning, Rhett was gone when I woke up. My heart started to pound when I saw that the couch was empty, m
y hands starting to shake. I went to sit down on the couch and my eyes landed on a note taped to the top of the TV.
Even from the couch, I could tell it was written in Rhett’s messy scrawl. The fact that he’d left a note relaxed me a little, but when I read it I finally took a breath. It said:
Hey baby, don’t panic because I’m gone. I’m working with my brothers and some other guys on a team renovating houses in Mount Edge, and I’ll be home around 3. I still have your phone, but you know my number so borrow someone else’s and call me if you need anything. It’s not a big deal for me to leave early or skip, so don’t stress. Love you.
He didn’t bother signing the note. He never had when were together before, either. It just wasn’t his thing.
Knowing that he hadn’t ditched me again, I headed back into my room to shower and get ready. I was feeling a million times better than I had the day before, so life was good. I’d get home from my classes about the same time Rhett got home from work, and then I’d go to work with Kennedy for a few hours and hit my meeting on the way home.
I stayed pretty busy for the sake of my mental health, and that busyness would help me avoid Rhett and getting attached to him. Not that I wasn’t already attached to him; it was too late for me not to be. I’d been attached to him since he showed up at my foster home just in time to save me from a rapist and took me back to Mount Edge where I had a real family and the happiest year of my life.
I didn’t date because no one could compare to my soulmate. There was no way I could be happy with anyone else the way I’d been happy with Rhett, and experience told me that even if there was, it would only be temporary until they walked away.
It was going to take a lot of effort to stop myself from falling back into love with Rhett, if I’d ever really stopped loving him at all. Even if I hadn’t, I needed to keep my distance for my heart’s safety.
Kennedy walked in two minutes later and gave me a hug, hanging out for the next half hour while I got ready for the day. She knew what time I woke up, and like always, was there for me.
