by Sara Summers
I could tell he wanted to argue. The Rhett I knew in high school would’ve. He would’ve fought until he got his way, and then he would’ve worn a cocky grin when he followed me inside.
This Rhett—the new Rhett—just nodded.
“It’ll be an hour or two, so you can go get something to eat if you want. I won’t try to leave without you.” I opened the door and slipped out of the car, accepting my purse when he handed it to me.
“I’m going to run home for some clothes. Text me if you want me to grab anything on my way back here.”
Was new Rhett helpful, even? What had happened to him in our three years apart?
I nodded, heading into the church building without a glance backward. New Rhett was confusing, but not in a bad way.
Definitely not in a bad way.
I was going to have to fight hard to stop myself from falling for him again. Not that I’d ever really gotten over him after the first time.
RHETT
I was waiting in the parking lot an hour and a half later when Kina came walking out of the church building. There was a guy at her side, holding her elbow. Jealousy flared inside me, and I forced it down as I made my way to her side. I’d seen him through her eyes a bunch of times, but they’d never been touching or anything.
He shot me a scathing look though, so apparently the jealousy wasn’t entirely out of place.
She narrowed her eyes like she was waiting for me to explode, but I just took her free elbow. When she leaned into me I realized she was having a hard time walking straight, hence the need for the guy.
“You must be Rhett.” He glared openly.
I didn’t blame him. My soulmate was the most beautiful woman on the planet and any guy would be lucky to have her. Plus, if he knew how I’d hurt her, he had every right to hate me.
“Cameron, chill.” Kina’s voice was strained. She pulled her arm out of his grip, leaning on me even more.
“Are you okay?” I looked down at her, my arm wrapping around her waist to keep her steady.
“Nope.” Her eyes shut painfully. “You and Kennedy are going to have to hide my phone so I don’t call Josh. I’m a wreck right now.”
“I can come over.” Cameron offered, and then shot me another glare. “Since Rhett’s the reason you started using in the first place.”
I opened my mouth to say something—I’m not sure what—but Kina beat me to it.
“I’m the reason I started using. Taking responsibility for your actions is a huge part of staying clean, Cam. I started using because I was a depressed, anxious mess, and instead of getting help I turned to drugs. That was my mistake, not Rhett’s.” her words were sharp.
I got the feeling she was standing up for herself more than standing up for me. I wasn’t complaining; I didn’t deserve for her to stand up for me.
“At least let me bring you dinner.” He protested. When his hand lifted to brush a strand of hair out of her eyes, I tensed. Was there something going on between them? How had I missed that?
“Cameron, I’m not interested in being anything other than your friend. We’ve been over this.” Kina’s voice held just enough softness that the words didn’t come out sounding mean. “Please don’t touch my hair. You know that I don’t date, and I’d appreciate it if you respected the boundary I set.”
The calm way she told him to back the heck off had my eyebrows lifting into my forehead. The Kina I knew would’ve punched the guy for trying to make a move on her, especially if she had already warned him that she wasn’t interested. Then again, the Rhett she knew would’ve followed her punch with one of his own.
But I wasn’t that guy anymore, and apparently she wasn’t that girl either.
I pretty much carried her across the parking lot to both of our cars, easing her into the passenger side of my Maserati. Now that I was with my soulmate again, filling the aching hole inside of me with an expensive car seemed like the stupidest of decisions. The only thing that could fix me was the five-foot girl in the bright pink sweater sitting in my passenger seat.
“Thanks for not punching him. He’s a nice guy.” She buckled her seatbelt, and I did the same.
“I’m surprised you didn’t do it yourself.”
A slight smile lifted her cheeks, softening her features. Man, she was gorgeous. Even pale and sweaty while in withdrawal, she was gorgeous.
“I’ve changed a lot since the last time you saw me.”
“You did punch that drug dealer yesterday.” I pulled out of the parking lot. We’d have to come back for her car because she definitely wasn’t in good enough shape to drive.
A wry smile twisted her lips.
“He deserved it.”
“I don’t doubt that.”
Our eyes met in the rearview mirror, and it was like something inside me fell into place. I’d missed being with her. Heck, I’d missed just being near her. Kina had been my entire world after I’d found her. Even after I’d left her, she was still my world. I guess that’s why I’d been falling apart.
“I shouldn’t have walked away.” I told her, as I stopped in front of a light. Kina stilled beside me. “I thought you deserved better than me and I still do, but I shouldn’t have walked away. I should’ve become better for you.”
She narrowed her eyes at me.
“You don’t mean that.”
I turned to look at her.
“I do.”
Like I had a hundred times when we were teenagers and she didn’t believe me, I lifted my hand to the mark on her collarbone. It was the marking that said she was an otter, the one that matched mine and designated us as soulmates. When I touched her cotie she could feel my emotions and vice versa.
After a few long seconds, the light turned green and I drove through it, leaving my hand where it was. Kina finally pushed my wrist away from her, and I could feel her hands shaking as she did. I wasn’t sure if the shaking was because of me or the drugs, but I didn’t ask.
“Baby, I—“
“No, Rhett.” Her voice was sharp. “You said what you had to say, and now I know you’re telling the truth. I need time to process it.”
I focused on the road again, closing my mouth with no plans to open it again in the near future. She could have all the time in the world as long as she could accept that I wasn’t leaving her again. Maybe she was strong enough to handle that, but I sure as heck wasn’t.
We drove back to her apartment in silence, and after I mostly carried her up the stairs and into her room, she closed the door and left me alone with Stetson and my mom.
Mom got busy cooking something for dinner while Stetson turned on the TV. Neither of them wanted to talk about what was going on, which I was grateful for.
The movie Stetson turned on was one I’d seen before, and my eyes started to close as exhaustion took over me. It had been so long since I’d really slept that I was constantly tired. As soon as my eyes closed, my mind reached out to Kina, the way it always did, and I saw what she did.
Her bare legs stretched out in front of her, the chipped gray nail polish wiggling with her toes. She sighed and pulled her legs up to her chest, blocking my view of the rest of her body. Two seconds later her arms latched onto the sides of the bathtub while she turned to face the door, throwing her legs over the side of the tub.
While I couldn’t feel what she was feeling, any idiot could tell she was uncomfortable. That was probably the drugs—maybe the withdrawal was making her twitchy.
When she sighed and changed positions again, I opened my eyes quickly. I couldn’t help but see through her eyes, but I could force myself to stay awake rather than be a creeper. I’d always been careful not to watch her in those private moments, especially when she was naked.
Heaven knows there was only one thing on my mind when she was naked.
I’d gotten a flash of her body a few times when I shut my eyes at the wrong moment, and every time, the memories that had assaulted me were hot ones that left me turned on for days. Maybe I shoul
dn’t miss the sex after leaving her the way I did, but man, I missed the sex.
That wasn’t anywhere near close to being on the table again, so I got off the couch and offered to take over making dinner for my mom. She didn’t agree at first, but I could tell she was tired so I talked her into it. When she collapsed onto the couch, leaning her head up against one of the pillows, I realized how much she cared about my soulmate.
Stetson grabbed a throw blanket out of the ottoman and draped it over our mom, coming into the kitchen and sitting down on one of the barstools. The apartment had a table built into the island so there was no need for a kitchen table, which made the space seem a little bigger than it was.
“Are you sure about this, man?” he leaned back, folding his arms over his chest, but something told me he wasn’t as relaxed as he seemed.
“I’ve always been sure about Kina.” I flipped a pancake. Normally, we would’ve had to worry she could hear us with how good shifter hearing was, but the alternative rock music floating in from the bathroom told me she didn’t want to know what conversations were happening outside of her tub.
“You’ve been wrecked over her for years.”
“I walked away from her because I thought she’d be better off without me. Now I realize how stupid it was. She deserves better, so I’m going to be better. I’m sure.”
Stetson nodded.
“Good. You should’ve come groveling back to her years ago.”
“I know.” I tossed the pancake onto a plate that already held a stack of them.
Kina had been obsessed with pancakes since I brought her home with me for the first time, which was the first time she’d tried them and probably the reason my mom was making them. The foster homes she’d grown up in weren’t exactly the kind of places where people cared enough to make breakfast for the kids.
“I hope you have a plan to win her back, because she doesn’t seem to want anything to do with you. She might even have a boyfriend.” He offered. That was Stetson; always helpful even if the way he helped made you want to strangle him.
“I don’t need a plan. I’m going to tell her the truth and refuse to leave until she agrees to give me another chance. There’s no boyfriend, she told some flirty guy at her meeting that she doesn’t date. That’s probably my fault.”
He grabbed a plate and a pancake, pulling a jar of jam and a can of whipped cream out of Kina’s fridge. It was my mom’s homemade raspberry jam, which went to show how much my mom loved Kina. My mom loved homemade jam but hated making it, so she’d never give it away unless the person she was giving it to was worth the misery of jam-making.
I’d heard the water start draining a few minutes earlier, so it was safe to assume Kina was dressed and out of the tub. She’d be nauseous because of the withdrawal, but she needed to eat something so I got a pancake ready for her.
Stetson accepted the spatula and the cooking duty while I headed to Kina’s room. I knocked on the door, and she called out for me to come in, so I did. Her eyebrows lifted when she saw me. She was lying in bed with the blankets pulled up to her chin, and she looked completely exhausted.
“I thought you were Kennedy.”
“Nope, but I come bearing pancakes.” I held up the plate. Kina made a face and turned away from me.
“Not hungry.”
I closed the door behind me and crossed the room, sitting down on the edge of her bed. Her hair was wet and tangled behind her, so I left the pancake on the bedside table while I grabbed her hairbrush out of the bathroom. I’d brushed her hair a dozen times before we split up, so I knew how to do it without hurting her head.
Her body stilled when I started detangling her hair, and she only let me do it for a few seconds before she rolled onto her back.
“What are you doing?” Her voice was tired and miserable, but the tears in her eyes were what had me feeling even crappier. I hadn’t realized that was possible, but apparently it was. I’d made her cry yet again.
“Taking care of you.” I leaned over and cut through the pancake with the side of the fork, stabbing the piece. “I told you, I left because you were better off without me. Now that I realized I was wrong, I’m not going anywhere. Taking care of you is my job, so open your mouth.”
I lifted the pancake piece toward her mouth.
“I’m not hungry.”
“Then the jam is going to drip on your face, because I’m not putting it back on the plate.” I said, matter-of-factly.
She scowled, but opened her mouth and let me feed her the pancake.
“I don’t want anymore.” She said around a mouthful of food.
“Well you need to eat a little more or you’ll just feel crappy longer.”
I put my hand on her hip and gently rolled her back to her side so I could resume detangling her hair.
“If you’re doing this because you feel bad for me, just leave.” She spoke again after she finished swallowing the bite of food.
“I don’t feel bad for you. You’re clearly doing better at life than I am, so if I feel bad for anyone it’s me.”
“You’re the one driving a fancy car.” Kina pointed out.
“Trying to fill a void. Unfortunately, it didn’t work.”
“Maybe some other sad sack will want it.”
I grinned. That was more like my Kina.
Cutting off another piece of pancake, I lifted it toward her.
“I hate you. Stop shoving food at me.”
“You’re going to need another bath if you don’t open up.” I waved the fork over her face, threatening to drop the fruit on her.
“Seriously, you are the worst.” she said, though she opened her mouth and accepted the food.
“Where’s your phone? You said you needed me to put it where you wouldn’t find it.”
“Under the bed.” She said, her mouth still full. “Put it up high somewhere. I’m too tired to stand on a chair right now.”
“Yes ma’am.” I continued brushing her hair; I’d get the phone after I made sure she had enough to eat and her hair was smooth again, when I forced myself to leave her alone.
A few minutes later, I forked another bite and she groaned. Her hair was detangled, but I was still brushing it because I didn’t want to stop touching it. If my hands weren’t on her hair, they’d be tempted to roam to other places.
“I’m done, Rhett. Let me be done.”
“Let me take care of you. You’re not going to get better if you don’t eat.” I dropped the brush and lifted my hand to rest on her hip.
“I will eat three more bites if you agree not to touch me again.” She said, pushing my hand off her hip. “Final offer. Take it or I’ll yell for your mom to get rid of you, and we both know she could if she wasn’t secretly hoping we’ll work things out.”
Sadness weighed down my chest at the fact that she was offering to eat in exchange for me not touching her, but I tried not to let it show.
“Deal. But when I come back in here with more food in a few hours, you have to eat again.”
“Fine.”
I wasn’t sure I’d ever convince Kina to give me another chance, but honestly, just being near her had me feeling a thousand times better than I’d felt before I picked her up from the police station.
KINA
Rhett was in pain.
So much pain I wasn’t sure how he was still functioning, let alone taking care of me.
When he’d touched my cotie I’d felt the truth in his words, but that was only a tiny part of what he was feeling. Leaving me had hurt him, maybe even more than it had hurt me.
How was I supposed to keep my distance from him knowing that? Even more, did I want to?
I mean, up until the point he touched my cotie I’d thought he was happy without me. Kennedy told me, every time I asked, that he was fine. In my mind, that meant he was moving on with his life like everything that happened between us never even occurred. But if he’d been hurting that much since he walked away from me…
Well
, maybe I should’ve chased after him.
Obviously it was too late to bother with what-ifs and maybes, but still. If I’d known, things would’ve been different.
Which was why I couldn’t sleep, despite the quiet in my apartment and the exhaustion that had settled deep into my bones thanks to the withdrawal, and the comfortable warmth of my bed. I missed Rhett, and if he hadn’t been happy without me, it changed everything.
I rolled over for the eight hundredth time in however long I’d been in bed; it had been hours. The clock told me it was 3 AM.
There was a soft knock on the door before Rhett stepped inside, a glass of water and a few crackers in his hand. I wanted to groan almost as much as I wanted to throw myself at him.
“Hey, baby. Will this help you sleep?” he sat down on the edge of the bed again, and my brain taunted me with memories of his body pressed into mine just that afternoon, while I was high.
“Sure. Thanks.” I accepted the water, propping myself up on my elbows enough to accept the glass and drink a little.
My body rebelled against the idea of water and food, but at least pretending I needed a drink meant I wouldn’t have to admit that I couldn’t sleep because I was reliving every moment of our glorious fifteen months together, wondering if I should just kiss him and pretend nothing had ever gone to crap.
“You okay?” he lifted his hand to my forehead. I’m sure it was warm; I was a freaking sauna. But that was probably because of the lack of drugs, not the fact that I couldn’t sleep.
“I’ve been worse.” I looked down at my hands, not sure what to do with my eyes. All they wanted to do was stare at Rhett, which would definitely lead to me kissing him like I forgave him without actually deciding I was ready to move forward with him.
“Is there anything I can do?”
My eyes lifted to meet his, and a memory at the heavy weight of his pain rose to the surface.
“Hold me?” The words were barely a whisper. I knew it was probably a bad idea, but gosh, I wanted it.
His eyes widened. Had I interpreted his emotions wrong? Was there another girl? Maybe he was in pain because he felt bad I’d been hurting so much while he’d been living it up with some other girl.
