A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

  "A new maid has just arrived, Miss Hilda Carson. She is settling into her chamber as we speak; sent to us by your cousin so she says. It is all here in a letter." Miss Thorn said as she opened the door to the library and handed him a letter. He knew the seal, it was his cousin Captain Brookend.

  "Thank you, that is all. I will be eating dinner early... an hour early," he said to her without looking up from his book. She acknowledged his request and left the room.

  After reading the short letter from his cousin and a book for a couple of hours, he bundled up and took a walk to the stables to make sure that everything was ready for the snowfall. He liked to keep busy, and as winter was now upon them, he would be eating dinner early and going to bed early to wake up at sunrise. He had to make the most of the daylight hours. Working was all that he did, it was all that he could do to keep his mind calm and to keep his blood from always boiling.

  As he sat in the large dining hall, sitting alone at the head of the table in front of a roaring fire, a sense of loneliness came over his for the first time in years. It almost shocked his because he had been very happy alone for quite some time but something about all the empty seats surrounding his gave a sense of uneasiness. As though he sensed that something was about to change.

  The next day, he was to get news about that very feeling. It was news that would make his angrier than he already was on a daily basis. He was in the portrait hall gallery staring at the painting of his brother and he. They were surrounded by ancestors of the Black clan going back 500 years. It was a heavy burden to bear such a responsibility.

  "A letter for you, sir," The stable boy said as he entered with a letter of parchment with a wax seal. As soon as he saw the black wax, he knew it was for his brother. he grabbed the letter from the stable boy and nodded. He already felt the rage growing inside of his, a letter from his brother was never a good thing. He was already feeling his blood boil as he clutched the letter in his hands. He would need a drink for this. He decided that he would read whatever terrible news his brother had for his in the library with a glass of brandy. With each step he took, he started to have an imaginary fight with his brother in his head, and he was ready to yell at anyone. He walked quietly into the library distracted by his thoughts.

  He was not expecting to see what he saw when he entered. A small petite redhead sat on her knees in front of the fire in the black maid dress and a book in her hands... One of his books. What an arrogant maid to do such a thing, this must be the new maid. he must be put in her place now.

  "Is this what you are being paid for, to sit in front of a warm fire and read my books?" he said angrily as he stared at her small back. He perked up in a startled move as she straightened.

  He then turned his head looking at his over his shoulder. Her face took his breath away. Her large green eyes were full of fright in a vulnerable, weak way. Her small peach lips were trembling, and tendrils of red hair fell softly against pale cheeks. She looked so small and shaken like a scared rabbit sitting there with a book in hand. Something about it filled him with the desire to scoop her up in his arms and comfort her.

  Maybe because she was the first young woman he had seen in his home in a long time, but he was sure it was more than that. Something inside of him was moving to him. She was a delicate creature, and he wanted to conquer this.

  He didn't know how long he was staring because it was as if time stood still, but it must have been a long time because she pulled his gaze from hers and stood up. She now stared at the floor. How dare she not look him in the eye! Was she too good for him? This lowly maid suddenly was refusing to look at him directly after he had asked a question? He had caught her slacking off and using his fire for her own comforts. He had a mind to take his over his knee and spank her bottom, but thinking of that only made him feel aroused. Good god man, control yourself, he thought. Her weakened state of womanhood only made him angrier. So he lashed out at her some more.

  "Well! Do you have anything to say for yourself maid? Why do you even look at the books do you even know how to read, I think not... "

  This caught his attention because the scared rabbit disappeared, and in its place a firestorm over took his green eyes as she narrowed them at his, making direct eye contact. She stood up tall and fierce as though claiming territory and said, "Yes, I know how to read sir. And I was only on the floor to keep your fire going, and my curious nature overtook his so he flipped through a few pages."

  Well, the bonny lass had some balls, he thought, as he arched his eyebrows up, impressed by this new fervour inside of her. Then, as if she remembered where she was, she looked back down at her boots and became the rabbit again.

  “I see, and who taught you to read? Your husband?” he said. probing for information on this woman, even though he knew that he should not.

  “I am not married. A friend taught me,” she said weakly.

  “Fine, you are dismissed,” he said turning toward his desk, remembering the letter in his hand. He would deal with this later.

  “You mean, I am fired! But sir, I was only reading for a few seconds! Clearly that is not grounds for dismissal! It is true what everyone says, your heart is as black as your name! You forbid your servants to read if they know how?! It is the only pleasure I have in his life!” she said suddenly catching him off guard.

  He turned and watched as her breathing made her bosom go up and down and her face was flushed red. She stood there defending herself in the fiercest manner, ready to argue her way through with this. He liked it. It was refreshing, only there was no need for it. She had misunderstood him. He smiled, and then that smile gave way to a chuckle, and before he knew it he was laughing harder than he had ever laughed in years. This of course only made her angrier.

  “How dare you laugh at me?” she said in a controlled angry tone, taking steps toward him. “I may be a maid but I am still a person.”

  “I am laughing, lass, because you have mistaken me. I merely meant you are dismissed out of the room, not from your position,” he said, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he watched the anger leave her face and become replaced with embarrassment. It was an amusing transition to watch.

  “I see, please accept my apology sir,” she said as she quietly headed to the door. He watched as her hips swayed in her dress. He could watch her walk all day. He was amazed that she had lifted his mood. He liked a lass with a temper, twas the Scottish way.

  She had spirit; she spoke with an intellect that most maids did not possess, and she loved reading. Perhaps the winter would not be so gloomy, and he could use this maid to warm his bed. He didn’t see why she would have any objections, maids never did. It gave them a taste of the good life, if only for a night. Yes, she would make a good lover indeed. He looked forward to using this.

  He sat at his desk remembering the letter from his brother. Evan broke the black wax seal; it was a broad sword with a circle surrounding it. He unfolded the letter and read through it twice, not believing what his brother proposed. How could he be serious about this? Not again, no he would not allow it. But it was too late; he knew his brother and his stubborn ways. What he said, was what was done. Evan had to find a way to stop him before the spring came. Yet, he knew that it was hopeless.

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  Indeed Hilda could not believe the astonishing words from her own mouth, though she had always been spirited, this was not the time to be so. Being tossed out in the cold in a strange place could mean life or death for her. It was only her second day at Black Manor and she was already having an uncomfortable encounter with the master himself, Evan Black. He had caught her reading and in a relaxed manner. He continued probing and asking her questions, which surprised her. She assumed he was not one for words, but she knew that he must have a temper if all the rumours of his foul moods were correct. So she lowered her gaze again and remembered her place. She was his maid, no matter how angry he made her feel.

  She felt like such an idiot that she had said those mean things to him
. She had to leave the room now before he did dismiss her for saying what she said. Because what she said was grounds for terminating her position. She hoped that Miss Thorn would not hear of this. She hoped that he would keep this to himself. She would not think it was funny or amusing. She closed the door behind her and leaned it against it as she looked at the empty hallway. She took a few deep breaths trying to understand what had just happened. It felt like a heated passionate fight between lovers, and not a master and maid. She walked away quickly and into the servants’ area of the house.

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  “What are you doing, Miss Carson? Why are you not in the library? Are you done already?” Miss Thorn yelled at her as she crossed paths with her on the way to the kitchen.

  “I am sorry Miss Thorn, the master came in to make use of the library, so I came down to see if I should clean the portrait gallery floors, if it is a convenient time,” She said lowering her gaze. This was a woman who relished in her own authority, so any chance she had to stroke her ego she took it. Of course, she was smart enough to know cleaning the floors in the portrait gallery was next on her list, but giving her a sense of control was good in their relations, especially since she had just almost got myself fired.

  “I see, very well. Did the master ask for any refreshment in the library?” she asked.

  “No Miss Thorn, I did not converse with the master. As soon as he entered I quickly left and did not look in his direction. I was a ghost, as you said Miss Thorn,” she said softly. She was lying but she could only hope that he would not tell her what had really happened. He didn’t seem like one for idle gossips with the servants, so it would be a secret.

  “Very well, carry on and get started on scrubbing the floors in the portrait gallery. You may finish your work in the library tomorrow if it is available,” she said walking away.

  She sighed in relief. She had succeeded in keeping her first disaster a secret. That night as she stared out the window she could see the moonlight reflecting off the snow. It was beautiful and stunning. The Highlands were a beautiful place of peace. Then her thoughts went back to the man himself, the master of the Black manor, Evan Black. She could see him when she closed her eyes with his long hair and frown. Then when he broke out into dashing grin as he laughed at her. Sure, he was laughing at her stupidity but she bet it was the first time he had smiled in a very long time. But most of all she was confused by the feelings she felt when he had the heated and unusual exchange. She could barely stand it any longer. She blew out the candle on the table and jumped under the covers and slept soundly.

  The next morning she ate breakfast with the servants on the long wooden table where the five of them gathered every day during meals. No one ever talked. She noticed that Miss Thorn was not amongst them, which was unusual. She ate the meagre breakfast of hot tea, bread, and porridge. Then suddenly Miss Thorn appeared.

  “Finish up, we have all been summoned into the main hall. The master wishes to address us,” she said with authority and then walked away. “Hurry now.”

  The sound of utensils hitting plates and teacups on saucers was chaotic as everyone stood up and followed her. Hilda began to panic.

  Was this about her? Was he going to shame her in front of everyone? She thought that she was safe in secret, but perhaps he didn’t punish her yesterday because he had other matters to attend too. She started sweating in her thick black wool dress as she followed the others. She started to make plans in her mind of how she could get to Campbelltown nearby. Would he force her to walk in the snow, or would he allow a driver to take her there after he released her from her position? She could only imagine what he was going to say and do to her.

  She followed the group into a different part of the house that she had not been to as of yet. It was the main entrance, and it nearly took her breath away. They entered from a long hallway on the side of a grand room. The room opened up to high ceilings, grey stone walls, and tapestries. There was a large firebox that ran down the length of the room on the floor. It looked like it had not been filled with wood and fire in years. The massive wooden front doors were in an enclave at the end of the room and you could hear the wind howling outside. The servants lined up and she fell in line with them. she could only imagine what he was going to say, and she stood in line with her chin high. They stood there silent as the sound of boot heels echoed down the hall. It was obviously the man himself, Evan Black.

  “Something happened yesterday that I would prefer not to speak of. However, since the matter is unavoidable, I might as well get it over with,” he said as he paced up and down in front of them. She swallowed hard. This is it, the only thing that happened yesterday was the interaction so this had to be about her. It was so obvious, and she fought back tears in her eyes. He continued to pace up and down and then stopped directly in front of her and said, “I was hoping to keep this a secret for as long as I could, but I think holding a secret would not be good, it could drive a man mad.”

  She shifted her eyes to his, and could not stop them from watering. His lips curled into a sideways smile. Damn him, he was enjoying this! He was enjoying making her feel anxious and terrified. He was going to humiliate her. She wondered if he would take a switch to her bottom as well. She pulled her eyes from his and looked at the wall behind him. She braced myself.

  “I have bad news. Things are going to be a little different around here...” he continued. She wished he would just spit it out. She was on the verge of yelling at him and running out of there. Why should she be teased in such a manner? He was not good sport! Just as she was about to open her mouth, he said, “I received a letter yesterday from my brother, Douglas Black.”

  She sighed in relief. He turned to look at her, as did the others. It was an unusual thing for her to do. She quickly straightened her back again and became the dutiful servant. Evan stood in front of her again and smiled. She wanted to slap him, but she was relieved.

  “He is making a journey here in a month’s time. He is bringing a large hunting party to hunt the snow fox. Therefore, Black Manor will be hosts to the Black clan for three weeks in a harsh winter. They will be bringing their wives and children as well. It will be a tiresome affair. He will be bringing a few of his servants, as he knows I keep a small servant group. However, we will need to start making the manor ready as soon as possible. Most of the bedrooms have not been slept in for years and they are covered in white sheets and dust. The stables will need to be ready to accept many horses and much more. We start today. That is all,” he said as he walked off.

  Once he was out of earshot, everyone seemed somewhat offended by the fact that there would be more work; she however was excited by the prospect of observing clans in a festive environment. It would all be exotic to her. She could not wait to see such a thing.

  The entire week was full of hard work, and they all kept busy. She liked the busy work because it kept her from being distracted and thinking about the master which she feared. He was everything she thought a Highlander warrior would be, and something that was only a part of her imagination growing up in England. He was so strong, and dominating. She had to get this out of her mind. She was a lowly maid, and he was the brother of Chieftain, a noble man.

  The next day was Sunday and she awoke to a surprise. She entered the eating area ready for the same breakfast meal and ready for work.

  “It is Sunday, Miss Carson, the Lord’s day. We take the wagon into the village to attend the church ceremonies. You are of course welcome to spend your morning as you wish,” Miss Thorn said as she watched her and the staff put on their cloaks dressed in their Sunday finest.

  “I see, thank you. I will stay behind and catch up on reading. I am not accustomed to the Sunday church ceremonies where I am from,” She said as she made her way back to her room. She did not want to give her the opportunity to scowl her or make her feel unusual for staying behind. She watched from her window as they boarded the wa
gon and were on their way. She smiled. Finally a morning of peace and freedom all to herself, and she knew exactly what she wanted to do.

  She pulled on her thick wool stockings and layered on her own dress. It felt great to wear something other than her maid black dress. She pulled on her hooded cloak and boots and was ready to do what she had wanted to do since she arrived!

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  On Sundays, Evan let his servants to go to the village for church. It was something that his family had always allowed the servants to do. He upheld that tradition, even though he himself did not attend church; he lost his faith long ago. He spent Sundays wallowing in his misery with a bottle of good Scotch in his hand. He took a swig from it now, as he walked the empty halls of his vast house. He was not looking forward to his brother’s visit.

  The last time that he had interfered in his life, it ended up being a tragedy. He had forced him to marry a woman that he did not know. He lived in this loveless and passionless marriage for five years. Then the plague took her, and although he wished no harm on the woman he vowed that he would never listen to his brother again. Though it was rare for him to venture this far merely to hunt the snow fox, so he assumed he had another prospect for him. It would be a woman that would no doubt bring wealth and resources to the Black clan as that is how his brother arranged marriages, as did most of the clans. Evan would have none of it, he would be as stubborn as an ox. he took another swig of Scotch, and passed the tall windows looking out into the snow.

  He had once earlier in the week wished for the snow unlike any other wish, because this meant they were isolated and would not have unexpected guests. However, it seemed that the snow and the snow fox was what was bringing his brother and the clan here. Damn the snow. he must say it did give him great pleasure to tease the maid into thinking she was in trouble for the library incident. He laughed even now thinking of her standing in the entry hall with the rest of the servants thinking she was going to expose his secret. It was the most amusing time he had experienced in years. he replayed it in his mind now as he walked drinking his Scotch.