A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

  It wasn't just his extremely attractive good looks and smiling eyes. It was the way he looked at her, like he wanted to eat her.

  She thought about this for a very long time until she thought that she would go mad. She needed some fresh air. She guessed she could go sit in the gardens and no one would notice that she was out there. It was almost time for afternoon tea, so she could take tea on the veranda. She pulled on a soft pink day dress that had been purchased for her by Francis and pulled her red hair into a messy bun. She hoped that she would not run into Mr. Lance Reeves, the Duke of York, but if she did she looked very well, despite being hungover. She lathered on rose water to cover up the scent of wine from the night before, just in case. She pulled on her slippers of soft pink that matched her dress and then she pinched her cheeks in the mirror to give them some colour. She was ready.

  She finally emerged, feeling embarrassed as soon as she stepped into the hallway; it was the scene of the crime. It made her feel very nervous as she remembered trying to kiss him and then him pushing her away. She tiptoed quietly in the hallway looking around for any sign of him. Or any sign of Elizabeth because she would scream out her name and jump up-and-down letting the entire hallway know that she was in the hall. She quietly made it down the stairs onto the first floor. She did not hear or see Francis and Elizabeth. She found a maid and asked after them.

  "They have gone to luncheon with Mrs. Price, ma'am, "the servant said.

  "Thank you," she said, and she wanted to ask about Mr. Reeves but she did not want to put herself in that position. What if he was in the house and could hear her? He would get a kick that she was asking about him. No, she would not give him that satisfaction. She left the maid’s side and walked out into the sunshine of the perfect blue warm day. She thought that she was alone and she was about to ask that tea be set up on the veranda. But she was not alone.

  She heard Lance say, "Feeling better? "

  She turned to see him standing there with a grin on his face and she felt herself blush.

  "Yes, thank you for asking Mr. Reeves," she said, turning away from him.

  He laughed at her and she felt frustrated.

  "It is a fine day; would you like to stroll with her in the garden? "He asked.

  She reluctantly agreed and took his arm as he walked down the steps and onto the path into the garden. They didn't talk and she felt very nervous being this close to him. Then he grabbed her and pulled her in front of him and kissed her hard.

  "Now that you're not drunk... " he whispered between kisses.

  She heard a woman gasp.

  They both stopped and turned toward the house. There stood the stunning woman that he had danced with at the dance the night before. She was mortified. What was she doing here? She had caught them in such a state. She said nothing but turned and ran. Hilda was shocked.

  "What was she doing here? "She looked at him for an answer.

  "I invited her for afternoon tea last night, must have slipped my mind," he said, feeling very uneasy.

  She remembered then that she was dealing with a womanizer. How could she be so stupid? She knew his reputation. It did not matter now. That woman would tell everyone that she knew. She was now the Duke’s scandal. Francis would be mortified and would kick her out of the house and possibly never let her see her sister again.

  She looked at Mr. Reeves with pain in her eyes and before she could cry she ran away from him. She ran through the house up to her room and locked the door, where shecried on the bed. This was a disaster. She had only been in Brighton for less than a week and she was already a Brighton scandal. She should have been more careful and not given into lust. She was never so careless before and her reputation meant a good marriage. Now she had destroyed everything. What would Francis say? What would Elizabeth say? She wondered how long she could stay here before they kicked her out. She wondered how long before they heard the scandalous news.

  She cried herself to sleep and woke up when a servant was knocking on her door, summoning her to dinner. She prepared herself to be lectured and thrown out of the house. She dressed for dinner and freshened up. She walked down the stairs and found Francis and Elizabeth in the parlour, and they were in good spirits. She guessed they had not heard the news yet, but it would not be long.

  She looked around and noticed that Mr. Lance Reeves, the Duke of York, was nowhere to be seen.

  "Good, now that we are all here, we can finally eat. I am starving!" Francis said as he took Elizabeth's arm and led her into the dining room.

  "We are all here? What about Mr. Reeves?" she asked feeling very confused.

  "He had to leave on urgent business," Francis said. That was all that he said. As they walked away they did not see that she was standing there in shock.

  How could he do that? How could he just leave her like that? He was the reason she would lose everything and now he just vanished. Of course he did, he was a rogue. He was probably on a clipper ship on his way to India by now. She was very angry. So much so that she couldn't move. She just stood there, feeling very hurt and stupid for allowing such a thing to happen with the man that was only passing through. He was not better than Ross, who also played with her feelings and then vanished.

  She finally gained her composure and wiped the tears from her eyes. She moved into the dining room and said very little and ate quickly. She said that she had a headache and excused herself as soon as she could. She said it was too much drinking the night before, to not arouse suspicion.

  She could not stay in her adopted sisters presence very much longer without her realising something was wrong. So she had to fake that headache to cover up her sadness.

  Hilda went to bed and cried herself to sleep once more, realising that by morning she would probably be the scandal of Brighton and have to leave the home. As she laid there she realised that she had deserved this treatment. She acted like a trollop and he treated her like one. He did not make her any promises and she barely knew him, he was a stranger. It was the extreme attraction that they had that led her astray. He was a skilled womaniser and she fell for it. How she missed home. Her true home with her father in the farm cottage in Hampshire. Perhaps it was time to go home to her aunt and uncle, since her reputation was ruined anyway.

  The next day she sat in complete anxiety as she waited for the news of the scandal to hit her and the house of Francis Williams. Waiting was complete agony. Then the news never came. She did not know the woman's name, so she could not even pry about her background and what type of woman she was. Was she a gossip? Why would she keep this a secret? These questions circled in her head for two whole days.

  Finally, on the third day, it happened.

  "You are wanted in the parlour, ma'am," the maid said, knocking on her bedroom door. This was it she was being summoned to be lectured and kicked out. She took a deep breath and prepared to finally own up to her actions. Hilda pulled herself together and made her way downstairs to the parlour.

  "Hilda! I cannot believe it!" Elizabeth said with wide eyes that she stared at her in the hallway at the bottom of the stairs.

  "Elizabeth, I can explain, "she said but she stopped her.

  "No need, Francis wants to see you in the parlour it is very important and shocking," she said, as she gave her a quick hug and ran away into the sitting room to wait. She felt like her hug was a goodbye hug and she was very frightened and ashamed.

  She took a deep breath and entered the parlour. “You wanted to see me Francis?” she asked.

  “Yes, sit down,” he said.

  Hilda sat on the bench and crossed her hands on her lap, ready for the lecture she was about to receive.

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  “I have news from Mr Reeves. It is of a very peculiar nature and I do not know what to make of it,” he said.

  “Oh?”

  “He said that I was to give this to you,” he said, handing her a wax sealed envelope with the Duke’
s signatory on it.

  She looked at Francis perplexed. “I do not understand, but he said that you helped him and this was in regards to that.”

  Hilda was definitely confused. She opened the seal and unfolded the letter. Several bank notes each for 100 pounds each sat on the paper.

  “Oh dear. It is money, but why?” she said, looking at it.

  She began to read.

  Dear Hilda Carson,

  It grieves me that you did not remember me, for I remembered you. Indeed I have never forgot you. When I returned to the farm cottage where you helped me once when I was younger, I was told you were now living in Hampstead Heath with the Layles family.

  “Oh! My! The boy from the barn,” she said out loud.

  “I do not follow,” Francis said.

  But Hilda did not answer, she continued to read.

  I went there straight away, only to discover that you were visiting a business acquaintance of mine, Mr Francis Williams. I was obliged to have some fun with this, as you already know that I am prone to do. But I was not expecting that you would be such a radiant beauty and I could not resist as far as that is concerned. I dare say that I had to leave in order to stop myself from being tempted further, for I am not a man to marry and settle down. But I do hope that you and I will continue a friendship from here on out. The money I have enclosed is what I owe you for helping me so many years ago. I will never forget those summer days as the happiest of my youth, when I was able to be simply a boy, and not a duke. I am forever grateful.

  Until we meet again.

  Duke of York, Lance Reeves.

  Tears filled her eyes as suddenly it all made sense. The way that Mr Reeves had treated her in such a playful manner. He was an old friend, and she wished he had said something when he was in her presence. He stole a kiss and nothing more, but he was being honourable by not taking more.

  “Oh, I am sorry Francis, I must excuse myself,” she said, standing up and fleeing the room with Francis calling after her.

  She went to her room and read the letter over and over again. It brought back such bittersweet memories of her childhood and happy times of being a farm girl. The simplicity of that time, she wished she could revisit that moment again. For she had never told anyone about hiding the Duke in her barn, it had always remained their secret. She took out her diary and wrote.

  Diary, the most exceptional thing has happened and it has made me very homesick. Not homesick for Hampstead Heath, but homesick for the farm cottage I grew up in and the life I lived then. Though I know that life is gone and I can never return, except to visit my aunt and uncle in the village, but I could never return to the cottage and live there. I know that it is not safe because of my brother, and too there must be a new family living there. I know that I could not return to being the farm girl that I was, not after what I have been through.

  But something happened when I was very young and living there. I came across a boy who was injured and I hid him in the barn from my father in order to allow him to heal. The boy insisted on staying in the barn, and had a very carefree manner about him. Then I soon found out that a young Duke had gone missing, and it turned out to be the same boy in my care. I had long forgotten about this and I had not written about it at the time because it was before I learned to read and write.

  Well diary, I must tell you that the boy has returned to my life, and it is the very same man that I have written about these last few days, the Duke of York, Lance Reeves. Can you believe that? I scarcely can believe it myself. The entire time he had been playing with me just as he had toys and played with me when we were young and he did not tell me that he was a duke then. This time he did not tell me that he was the boy from my childhood. What a fine joke to play and how silly I felt. But turns out he is still a very agreeable and kind man. For he could have taken advantage of me, and he did not. He could have led me on a string and played with my emotions, but instead he was very honest me and let me know that he's still values his freedom, just as he did when we were children.

  Oh how silly, and I am laughing as I write this. I am very grateful for this encounter with the Duke, though it has reminded me of better days as a child, how I miss them and how I miss my father. I hope to see the Duke again and for us to have a friendship from now on going forward. I cannot believe that he sought me out after all these years, and I am glad that he did. Such fun, and such great respite from my heart and mind, thinking about the captain at all times. For this was a lesson in remembering that life is silly, and can be quite the free adventure if I allow it to, just as the Duke has allowed his life to be.

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  Captain Ross Brookend paced the library of his grand estate. He had been distraught since his return to Cornwall. All was not well in his mind. For he had not been able to relieve thoughts of Hilda from his mind. How was it that the child he rescued so many years ago from her vile brother, had come to have such a hold over his heart?

  He knew what he had to do. The Captain shouted, “Yarmin! Get my carriage ready. I am to London in the morning. I will return for dinner. I have business to attend to in town,” he said as he grabbed his cloak and headed out the door. He mounted his horse and raced across the cliffs of Cornwall into the village to see his banker. Why had he not thought of this plan before? It was the way to relieve his friend, and to relieve himself of the pain he felt in denying himself Hilda Carson Layles.

  “I am here to see Mr Patrin,” he said at the bank’s entrance.

  “Right this way sir.”

  The clerk led him to the back office.

  “Captain! A pleasure as always,” he said.

  “The pleasure is mine, sir. But I cannot stay long. I am to London tomorrow and I need to set some affairs in order before I leave.”

  “Yes of course, please sit.”

  Ross sat in front of the desk.

  “What can I do for you, sir?”

  “I wish to withdraw one thousand pounds from my accounts.”

  Mr Patrin raised his brows. “Of course sir, as you wish.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I hope you are not in trouble sir.”

  “No, not at all. It is a loan for a friend is all.”

  “Very well. You are a good friend and those that know you are very fortunate.”

  Patrin pulled out his accounts ledger and got to work. Ross signed the paperwork and left with one thousand pounds in his bag and set for home.

  The next morning he began the long carriage journey to London. He could not wait to arrive, for he had news and he wanted to make sure that he did not miss Mary Anne if she were to leave town.

  As Ross set in the carriage, and settled in for a long journey to London, he stared out the window. Tall grassy fields lined on both sides of the road, and the sky had taken on a dark grey colour which was quite usual in that part of the country because the clouds came in off the ocean. He thought it a beautiful sight, and much preferred the country of Cornwall to being in town in London, where the air was heavy with black smoke. The industrial factories had taken over, and had made the air dirty, as well as taking advantage of the poor to work in those factories. It was not a sight that he enjoyed and he preferred the honest wages of the copper mines that the villagers worked in and he owned. It was hard labour, underneath the ground, but there was something to working with earth; better than working with machinery.

  The carriage carried on, and as he looked out the window he felt much relief for he had set things straight with Mary Anne, and he had which that he had done so long before. He should have given her the loan as a first thought instead of entering in a false engagement, but because he himself had the pressure from his own family to find a wife as soon as possible, he thought that it was a good agreement.

  But in truth it had held him back after he began to get reacquainted with Hilda. He had not expected her to turn into such a beauty from the child that he had rescued. In the carriage he closed his eyes and thought about her red hair, and green eyes. He
r pale skin and her petite body, that looked incredible in the red dress she wore during dinner when he had attended the dinner of his friend Adam.

  Looking out the carriage window again, he saw several people on Horseback as they entered the nearby village. They would remain on the outskirts of village, making the very long journey to London stopping overnight. He wish that it was not such a long journey, but at least he would get there as soon as possible. The horses needed to rest, as well as his drivers, and it was the only way to do it, for going on horseback was nearly impossible; it was just too long of a journey.

  As soon as he thought about making journey on horseback he thought about the first time he rescued Hilda, taking her on horseback to the northern area of Scotland in order to set her up as a maid at his cousin's home. He had never asked Hilda exactly what happened, and he assumed that this day had been fairly uneventful.

  His cousin did not mention anything the next time he wrote to him, for he had a very short and curt reply to his letter. But that day riding on horseback with Hilda, with her brother possibly at their heels, was something that had filled him with adrenaline. He would do anything to rescue her during that time, and he was glad that he did. For her brother was a vile creature and if he had not done so she would have been sold into the sex trade, never to be heard from again and possibly murdered. He knew that he had done the right thing then, but never did he think that his charge would grow up to become the beautiful and witty woman that he now knew, and loved.

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