A Farm Girl's Despair (#5, the Winds of Misery Victorian Romance) (A Family Saga Novel)

by Dorothy Green

  ‘Now, shall we get to it, men?’ Mr Christopher said, commanding his group of servants.

  A commotion set in, and men jumped from the wagons and formed a chain, passing crates and bags of grain to each other and the groundsmen of the convent. The bags and crates made their way into the storehouses. Lillian herself grabbed a small burlap bag that she thought might be rice.

  ‘How long have you lived at the convent, Miss Randall?’ a deep voice said beside her.

  She turned to see that the man himself was walking beside her carrying a large crate of goods. Her heart pounded, surprised that he would speak to her at all.

  ‘Since I can remember, sir. My first memories are of this place, but I am told that I was of the age of three when I was brought here’, she said.

  ‘So then, this is truly your home’. He smiled.

  ‘Oh yes, I love it dearly’, she said.

  He set down the crate on a stack of other crates and held his arms out to her. She placed the bag in his arms, and he packed it away. Then he turned and walked back out of the storehouse towards the wagons. It was a brief exchange, but Lillian could not stop smiling.

  The unloading of the wagons took one hour and not a minute more, to Lillian's disappointment. It had always been so, and this time was no different, with the exception that she had spoken with the man himself.

  ‘Thank you for your help, Miss Randall, it was greatly appreciated. Until next time’, he said as he mounted his horse.

  Lillian lowered her eyes and gave a curtsy, but she could not speak a goodbye, she was too surprised that he had addressed her. When you were raised in a convent, you scarcely left the grounds, and you most certainly did not meet the likes of a gentleman like Mr Christopher.

  Lillian cherished the conversation for the rest of the day and into next week, but the following week brought disturbing news. Never did she think that it would happen to her, though it had happened to many girls before her. For some reason, she thought that she would have a choice, but she did not.

  * * *

  CHAPTER 01

  ‘Miss Randall, will you come into my office?’ asked Sister Margaret, the Superior Sister and head of the convent, who was sitting in the drawing room looking over maps.

  Sister Margaret was an older woman who had been here longer than anyone else. She was very stern, and most of the girls feared her. However, she had softened some as the years passed. She was nothing like Sister Mary, who got along with all the girls and was like a second mother to them all with her kindness and good heart.

  Lillian looked at the other orphans sitting in the room, feeling very nervous.

  ‘Yes, of course, Sister Superior’, Lillian said. She stood up and followed the sister down the hall. Her boot heels echoed on the stone floor. Lillian struggled to stay at the same pace, not knowing what lay ahead of her.

  ‘Please come in and have a seat’, Sister Margaret said as they entered her office. Lillian sat across from the heavy oak desk.

  ‘You are now six and ten years of age, are you not?’ Sister Margaret asked.

  ‘Yes, since last month’, Lillian said.

  ‘Yes, very good. As you know, Lillian, once a girl reaches a certain age here, we try to do what we can to make a life for her’, Sister Margaret said.

  Lillian's heart dropped into her stomach. She was not expecting this whatsoever, though she knew that many girls had left the convent before her.

  ‘Yes, I am aware’, Lillian said.

  ‘Good. Then I am very pleased to inform you that we have found a position for you in a very noble household. You will be a scullery maid in the home of the Earl of Holbrook, Mr George Mason. You shall leave in 5 days’, Sister Margaret said with a smile on her face.

  ‘What? But I do not want to leave. Thank you, sister, for finding this position for me, but I must decline. Please offer it to the next in line. I wish to stay here’.

  ‘My dear, you are of a certain age. It is time that you get out and take responsibility. This is a good position in a very good home. You will see astounding luxury and beauty, in the countryside no less’.

  ‘I do not want the position. I had hoped to live my entire life here at the convent. Perhaps in the future even take my vows to become a sister’, Lillian said.

  ‘Lillian, I am very sorry to tell you that is not an option. You will go and fulfill this position. It is not an invitation, it is an order. You will be leaving the convent either to fulfil this position or to find other means of work, but your stay here is done’.

  Lillian could not believe it.

  ‘If we kept on all the girls we have, we would not have enough room to take care of the younger ones, the children that need us the most. You are one of the smartest girls here, you will be fine’, Sister Margaret said.

  Tears began to flow down Lillian’s cheeks. She was quite distraught. Until now, she’d thought the girls who had left before her had done so of their own choosing. She had not realized they were turned out.

  Perhaps it was her own naive ignorance that had led her to believe that, but she still did not want to leave. Not simply because it was the only home she had ever known, but because she knew that she would never see him again, Mr Robert Christopher.

  ‘Now go say goodbye to your friends and sisters. Pack what you have, though I know it is little. Trust in us that we only find the best positions in the best households, for everyone is always eager to take on a servant raised by nuns. You will see. I think you will enjoy it’.

  ‘Yes, sister. Thank you for the opportunity. I shall do what is expected of me’, Lillian said.

  ‘Good girl’.

  Lillian walked out, but as soon as she walked out the door she broke down into hysterical tears. She was being forced from the only home she had ever known, to go to a strange house amongst strange people.

  She felt like a child still, and she could not see herself on her own. She cried herself to sleep, and five days went by quicker than she could possibly have expected.

  Holbrook Manor

  Home of the Earl of Holbrook, George Mason

  Lillian was quite surprised when she finally saw the manor house that she was to live in. The Sacred Heart Convent was quite a spectacular complex with gray stone walls and vast grounds, but it was nothing in comparison to the estate of an Earl. The estate was nearly five hundred acres of parkland, complete with sheep and herds of deer.

  The house itself was made of a brilliant white limestone that seemed to sparkle amongst the green fields around it. It was so vast that it employed quite a few people in various positions, including more than one scullery maid, which Lillian was quite grateful for. She would be able to learn without being the only one relied on.

  ‘Lily, you are quite lucky to have arrived when you did’, Alice Watkins said to Lillian as they scrubbed the floor of the kitchen together.

  Lillian had been at the manor for ten days and had mostly kept to herself. She felt quite shy amongst her new companions and was still trying to adjust to not being at the convent any longer.

  Some of the servants had taken to calling her Lily instead of Lillian, and she did not mind one bit. She thought it was fitting to have a new name for a new chapter in her life.

  ‘I did? Why is that?’ Lily asked.

  ‘Because the master, Mr. Mason, is not in house and won't be for several months. He is usually in London this time of year, sometimes until the winter months, if he comes at all. It makes the house very quiet, and there is not much work except for upkeep. Also, Mr. Mason is not the kindest sort of man’, Alice said.

  Lily stopped scrubbing and looked at Alice quite confused. ‘What do you mean by that? Not kind? Do you mean that he is harsh on people?’

  ‘Not exactly. Let me just say that a few of the girls who have come through here and looked like you have not lasted more than a month when he is in the house. But those girls worked upstairs, you are lucky to be tucked away down here in the kitchens with no need to go upstairs at all. The more
you stay hidden from him, the better’.

  Lillian's eyes grew wide. Living in a convent she did not know much about men or their desires, but she knew enough to put it all together from Alice's words. She was suddenly filled with fear and wondered if Sister Margaret knew about the reputation of Mr Mason. Surely if she had, she would not have posted her in such a position, in such a home, with such a man.

  ‘What do you mean “girls that look like me?”’ Lillian asked.

  ‘Young and pretty, of course’, Alice said.

  ‘Oh, thank you, I suppose’, Lillian said and then began to scrub the floor again. She had never considered herself pretty, but then again she had not lived in the outside world at all.

  She’d seen other girls around the convent that she thought were very beautiful indeed, but she did not count herself amongst them. She thought she was rather plain-looking, but perhaps it did not take much to entice the Master of the House. She would make sure not to go upstairs when he was at home unless ordered to do so, and even then she would do her best to try and get out of it.

  If she stayed out of sight, then he would not know of her existence, and then he would leave for London again and not be home for months. It was possible she could go without him ever meeting her, though she did not like knowing that her new home was one in which she had to live in fear. It was such a drastic change from the convent.

  ‘After we are done here, we can go out to the gardens and pull some roots and herbs to dry them out. I will show you how to do so’, Alice said.

  ‘Thank you, I really appreciate your teaching me. Of course, I learned some of these things at the convent, but I did not learn how to do them on such a grand scale. I am grateful to you’, Lillian said.

  ‘Of course, we all try to make sure that each one of us are competent in our work, that way we are not taking on extra loads. It has to work like clockwork for such a grand home, especially when the house is full of guests, which you will see eventually. It is better for you to learn now’, Alice said.

  * * *

  CHAPTER 02

  Eight Months Later

  Lillian was quite surprised by how well she was fitting into the Holbrook estate community of servants. Eight months had passed and it was enough time for her to finally feel settled and comfortable in her new surroundings.

  She kept quite busy working with Alice, keeping a tidy kitchen as well as learning how things ran on the estate. Not just in her own position, but what the other positions entailed as well.

  The servants also managed to entertain themselves, and every Sunday they walked to the parish church and attended a sermon. Then they had the rest of the day off to attend to whatever they wished. Lillian mostly sat outside in the kitchen gardens enjoying the outdoor sunshine and reading.

  It was quite routine for her and a little dull, though not unbearable. In some ways, she found life to be much like that at the convent, except as a scullery maid she was busier with her chores than at the convent and no longer attended classes, which she missed desperately. Learning was one of her favorite pastimes.

  But just as she was starting to settle in, news took over the household that brought everyone into chaos.

  ‘We have just received word’, Mr Phillips the butler said as he quickly moved into the dining room where the servants had gathered to eat breakfast. He held a parchment in his hand with a wax seal.

  ‘The master is returning to the estate in three days’ time. He brings with him six guests, though we should prepare for eight just in case’.

  ‘Three days? Why, he gives us no warning at all’, Alice said.

  ‘Does he ever?’ asked another servant.

  ‘No time for bickering. We must prepare for their arrival. We shall get the guest suites cleaned and readied. Launder the sheets and drapes, and pull the sheets off of the furniture. I want every floor cleaned’, said Mr Phillips quickly.

  He took a breath and continued. ‘I have already sent out the hands to bring in the goods to stock the kitchens. The master does not say how long he and his guests will be staying, but we should assume it will be through the holidays. Now finish up your breakfast and we shall get started’.

  Lillian grew excited for the change in routine, but also a little bit scared. She remembered what Alice had said long before, that the master was not a kind man and that he preyed upon young women such as herself. Still, as long as she managed to stay below in the servant quarters and not be seen by him, then it should all be fine.

  At least this way there would be a change in the day-to-day monotony, and she’d heard from the other servants that having guests was always exciting. Growing up in the convent, there were only a few guests that had stayed with them, always women, and always few and far between.

  Typically, they’d been relatives of the nuns or women who had fallen on hardship and were in transition from one place to another, with good references from someone that the nuns knew and were therefore comfortable taking in for a short time.

  But this would be completely different. This would be guests of outstanding societal status, elegant attire, and elegant manners. Lillian suspected that she was about to help the cooks prepare the most lavish of meals, and that excited her greatly. Perhaps if she was sneaky, she could dip her finger into a jam or pudding and get a quick taste.

  Lillian finished her breakfast, and then in a flurry of the rest of the house, servants began to prepare for the arrival of the Earl of Holbrook George Mason and his guests. She enjoyed work and found it somewhat calming to keep her mind occupied. Because of this, three days went by in a blur.

  The Earl arrived with his guests, and the entire house was in a flurry of chaos. Lillian was very busy in the kitchen helping to scrub vegetables fresh from the garden in order to have them ready for the cooks to prepare a very lavish dinner. Several maids were scurrying about the kitchen preparing servings of tea and cakes.

  ‘Come on now. Be quick about it’, a cook said as she helped. ‘Tea has been requested in the parlor as well as in the individual rooms themselves for guests that want to take to their room for a bit of rest before dressing for dinner’.

  ‘Where are the freshly baked cakes and meat pies’, another maid shouted, darting across the kitchen and placing food items on the trays.

  Lillian looked on with wide eyes as she scrubbed a few potatoes. She had never seen anything like it, nor had she seen anything like the colourful cakes being set on the trays.

  The last 3 days had been quite a surplus of lavishly decorated foods being prepared. But it wasn't just the food that had her attention, it was the glorious chaos of it all. Nothing this exciting had ever happened at the convent, and she found it very joyful, indeed.

  ‘Okay, this tray is ready. Take it up to the footmen’, the cook said.

  Just then, one of the valet men entered the kitchen. He went by the name of Mr Hawkins. Lillian had never seen the valet men dressed in their proper uniforms until that very day. She thought they were very elegant, with black waistcoats and shiny buttons.

  She did not know that servants and a household such as this dressed in such a way. She thought they looked very proper and also knew that only the servants that worked upstairs were dressed in that manner. Servants that were kept below, such as herself, were in much plainer clothing since they would not be seen by the master or the guests.

  ‘The gentleman that retired to the blue room suite is requesting two meat pies, bread, and cheese along with his tea. I believe he was referred to as Mr Christopher. Oh, quite the appetite on that one’, Mr Hawkins said. ‘Be quick about it, I am waiting and will take it up to him’.

  ‘Mr Christopher?’ Lillian asked. She didn't mean to say the words out loud, but they slipped from her mouth in complete astonishment.

  ‘Yes, I believe that was his name. What about it?’ Hawkins asked with disdain on his face. It was obvious he did not wish to indulge the scullery maid in conversation, for even amongst the servants there was a sense of hierarchy.

>   ‘Oh, nothing. Excuse my intrusion’, Lillian said and lowered her eyes back to the potatoes in front of her. She continued to scrub, only this time she was scrubbing furiously.

  The name Mr Christopher of course made her think of Robert Christopher, the man that had brought the charitable donations to the convent and had indulged her in conversation. Though she knew there was no possible way that it was the same man, or even a distant relation. It was simply impossible, and there must be many families with that name spread across the entire whole of England.

  Therefore she resigned herself not to think any more of it and continued with her work, though now she was thinking of the man's handsome face, as she often did. But the work kept her busy and stopped her from daydreaming about him for too long, except for at night when she would lie down to sleep.

  But even then she would be so tired from the day's work that she would not spend more than a few minutes on his face before drifting off to sleep, and then waking up and doing the work all over again

  ‘What was that all about?’ Alice whispered to her a few moments later as they carried the washed potatoes and root vegetables to the corner counter to cut them for the dinner.

  ‘What are you speaking of?’ Lily said.

  ‘You were very abrupt with Mr Hawkins. I think it shocked him. But why did you say the name Mr Christopher? Have you heard of him?’ Alice asked.

  ‘No, I do not think so. There was a man that came to donate goods at the convent with the same name, but I do not believe he is of any relation. In the moment, however, my tongue slipped’.

  Alice laughed. ‘Oh you poor girl. Yes I am sure that it is not the same man, or the same relation. I doubt that Mr Mason has any friends that are of the charitable kind, and there were many families in England with that name. It is very funny that you were quick to react to such a thing. Then again, you are quite young and new to the world. How strange to be raised in a convent’.

  ‘Yes, very strange indeed’, Lillian said. She turned her face away from Alice to hide her blush. She very much loved her friendship with Alice and was grateful for all that she had taught her, however, Alice did have a way of making her feel very naive and foolish. Alice was always quick to point out how young Lillian was, and although it was true, it did not make her feel any better regarding her ignorance of the world.