For Real

by Chelsea M. Cameron

  We walk down to the café and Jett orders a coffee and a bagel.

  “What do you want?” Is he going to order for me and pay? This cannot stand.

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that. I have money,” I say as the bored-looking barista waits for me to order. She’s also chewing gum and popping it. Yuck. Isn’t that against the rules to chew gum in a place that makes food?

  “I’m sure you do have money, but I’ve got this. What do you want?” Jett’s sweet smile is my undoing. I order a piece of banana bread and a pumpkin chai.

  “Thank you. Now I do owe you,” I say.

  “No, you don’t. This is me paying you back for the help with Javi.” Oh, right. I’d nearly forgotten about him. We move to the side to wait for our drinks.

  “How is he?”

  “Recovered. That bastard can drink like a fish and be fine the next day. I have two beers and I’m wrecked for the entire weekend.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” The bored girl doesn’t even call out our orders, just pushes them across the counter at us.

  “Did everything that you were running from last night turn out okay?” he asks.

  “More or less.” I’ve gotten several apology texts from all my other friends. After dealing with Hazel, I kind of just want to be done with it.

  We take our drinks and treats and sit down at the only available table. The café is packed, even for a Saturday, and I realize it must be for some sort of sporting event. Sometimes I think that I should be more involved in things like that, but then I remember how my butt feels after sitting on metal bleachers for two hours.

  “Sorry about the nachos,” I say.

  “Oh, it’s not a big deal. Javi ate the entire pan of them in the middle of the night. Or at least I hope he did. I found the pan empty in the morning and unless we have nacho-eating ghosts . . .”

  That sounds terrifying.

  “Well, hello there,” a voice I know very well says behind me. I turn and glare at Hazel so Jett can’t see.

  Before I can ask what the hell she’s doing here, she speaks.

  “I needed a pick-me-up before my study session.” She frequently has study sessions with gigantic books filled with itty-bitty print. She’s going to be blind by the time she is thirty, I swear.

  “Oh, um, Hazel, this is Jett.” Jett looks from me to Hazel and back. I hadn’t really told him that we’d made up, but he was smart enough to figure it out.

  “Nice to meet you, Jett. I hope you’re being good to her.”

  And the love fades.

  Jett doesn’t miss a beat.

  “She’s easy to be good to, and it’s nice to meet you, too, Hazel.” He half-stands up and holds his hand out. She takes it, while her gaze skips up his arm and takes in the tattoos, and then up to his face. I can almost read what thoughts are going through her mind.

  “Hm,” she says, and releases his hand.

  His smile never falters as he sits back down. Hazel’s coffee is ready, so she grabs it and says goodbye, giving me a sharp look. Great. That’s going to be fun later.

  “You have Javi, I have Hazel,” I say with a shrug.

  “Understood. So you made up?” Oh, I don’t really want to get into this.

  “Yeah. About that.” I have to tell him that the reason Hazel was being that way is because she thinks we had sex.

  “Uh oh. I’m not sure I like the sound of that. It sounds a bit like doom.” Oh, if he only knew.

  “So what would you say if I told Hazel that we had sex?” I mean, I’d asked him to give me a ride and pretend that he was taking me home, presumably to have sex, but he didn’t know that it was also my first time. Or would have been if we’d actually had sex.

  “I would say that I don’t have a problem with that. I mean, it’s not a crazy thing to think. You’re a girl and I’m a guy and we did spend time alone at my apartment. I’d almost be insulted if she didn’t think that.” He plays it off confidently, but it’s like he’s trying to be TOO casual.

  “Are you sure? Because I can set her straight. I mean, I like hanging out with you and she’s my best friend, so if we hang out again, you’re probably going to see her again and we’ll probably have to do this again.”

  “It’s not a problem, I swear. It’s an honor to have slept with you. Even if it’s only for show,” he says and his face is a little red and he won’t look at me.

  “Okay. Cool.” I don’t know what else to say. I’m definitely not telling him about the virginity thing. You would have to hold a gun to my head, and I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon.

  There’s a beat of awkward silence as I try to move the conversation onto different and less-embarrassing ground.

  “So you do want to hang out again?” Jett says, not looking at me.

  “Uh yeah. Unless you don’t want to. I shouldn’t have assumed. That was dumb.” Ugh, I’ve done it again.

  “No! No, I do want to hang out again. I just didn’t know if you would want to. I mean, after the disgusting apartment and Javi and everything. I wasn’t exactly a great host.” This time he looks embarrassed. It’s kind of sweet.

  “I want to hang out, too,” I say.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay. Well, technically we’re hanging out right now. But it might be fun to do something non-academic related. Not that studying with you hasn’t been the height of awesome.” This is flirty, right?

  He smiles and meets my eyes again. Wow. He’s got gorgeous eyes. I could stare at them all day. But I shouldn’t. Because that’s creepy.

  “Javi thinks that we slept together,” he says, finally blinking.

  “What?”

  He sighs and leans back in his chair.

  “Well, he asked if we had and I didn’t correct him. I’m sorry.” Why is he sorry? I’d done the exact same thing.

  “I’ll set him straight.”

  “No, it’s okay, Jett. I mean, I’d be a hypocrite if I got upset about it, considering I did the same thing.” And that gives me an idea.

  Jett looks at me and it’s like he’s thinking the exact same thing at the exact same time.

  “What if we didn’t set any of them straight? I mean, my friends are always bugging me about dating and Javi is up your ass about it. How about we just . . . keep up the charade? Pretend to date.”

  It’s the perfect solution without actually dating someone and getting involved in all that. In addition to the fact that most guys make my skin crawl, relationships take time and energy. Time and energy I’d rather put toward school. I also don’t want to get my heart all twisted up and broken, thank you very much. I’ve been through too many of my friends’ break-ups to even want to get close to having my own.

  Besides, I like Jett. He’s funny and easy on the eyes and we have good conversations. He’s the ideal Fake Boyfriend.

  I sit and wait for the verdict. He’s probably going to think I’m crazy and run away.

  “Huh. It’s funny you should say that because I was just having the same thought. Dating is so . . . complicated,” he says.

  “And awkward. And potentially messy and heartbreaking.”

  “Exactly. But if you’re not dating then you’re basically a social leper and people wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with you.”

  “Or that you’re gay.”

  “I’m not. In case you were wondering,” he says.

  I snort. “Yeah, I think I could have figured that out. I’m not either. In case you were wondering.” This one time, I got drunk with Hazel and we kissed on a dare, but I really don’t remember it, so I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count.

  “Soooo, does that mean we’re Fake Dating?” he says.

  “Uh, yeah. We are. You are now my Fake Boyfriend.”

  “And you are my Fake Girlfriend. Has kind of a ring to it. Speaking of that, I need your number.” I give it to him and he enters it into his phone. He shows me that I’m listed under “FG.”

  We both laugh and I drink the rest of my
chai. That was easy.

  “We should probably have some ground rules, though. Ten Rules of a Fake Relationship,” I say. I pull out one of my notebooks. I always remember things better when I write them down. Except for the notes I took earlier, but that wasn’t my fault.

  “Rule number one . . .” I say, writing it out in my tiny handwriting.

  “First rule of Fake Dating. You don’t talk about Fake Dating,” Jett says with a smirk. I’d walked right into that one. I give him a look and then he waves that off. “Okay, okay, how about this. First rule of Fake Dating is that if either one of us wants out, we just have to say the word. Like a Get Out of Jail Free card.”

  “Or a safe word,” I say before thinking about how that sounds.

  “A safe word?” That earns me an eyebrow raise.

  “What? I read.” I try not to go a little red and fail. “And how do you know about safe words?” That is the question.

  He scratches the back of his head. “Remember that weird porn I told you Javi had? Yeah, that. Plus, I also read. And they mentioned it in Serenity.”

  “Okay, then. Pick your safe word.”

  “Pick yours.”

  I stick my tongue out at him. “I asked you first.”

  He looks at the ceiling and strokes his chin like he has a beard.

  “Safe word, safe word.” Meanwhile, I’m thinking of my own.

  “Perspicacious,” he says. “I wanted to pick a word that I wouldn’t use in normal conversation. So, yeah. Perspicacious.”

  That makes me smile.

  “Mine is . . . necrophilia. I definitely wouldn’t use that in normal conversation.” He makes a disgusted face. I write down both our safe words. As if we’d forget them.

  “Okay, good. We might want to put a time limit on it. Then we can Fake Break Up,” I say.

  He nods and starts folding his napkin. “Perfect. One month. That’s a good amount of time. That should be Rule Two.” I write that down as well. Rule Three is that we have to have at least one date per week.

  “How about no physical contact unless we’re in public?” I say, still writing.

  “No contact? That’s going to be pretty hard. Are you going to punish me if I violate that rule?” He smirks and it makes me all warm and tingly.

  “No contact other than incidental contact. How about that?”

  “That works for me. I guess.” He shifts his legs under the table and one brushes mine. Before I can say a thing he puts his hands up.

  “Incidental contact.”

  The next few rules are a little bit easier to come up with. Rule Five is no kiss goodnight unless we’re with other people. Six is no nicknames unless we’re in public, Seven is that a daily text or phone call is required.

  “Eight?” I say. I’m a little out of ideas.

  “Well. How far do we want to take this thing? We should probably spend the night with each other every now and then. You know, since we’re dating and we’ve already had sex once. They’re going to think something is up if we don’t spend the night together again.” He has a very valid point.

  “Okay. So how about at least two nights together each week?”

  “Are you serious? How often do your friends who have new boyfriends spend the night at their houses? I think it’s got to be at least four, if not more.” Whoa. This is going to be a huge time commitment. But I guess it isn’t that different than spending a night at the library. I’ve done that a time or two. Or maybe I could just go to his place and then escape to the library. Whatever. We’ll work it out.

  “Okay, four nights a week is Rule Eight. Should we alternate?”

  “Well, Javi tends to bring a lot of girls home on a regular basis, so unless you want to know what he sounds like when he gets off, then your place might be better.” That is disturbing on so many levels.

  “Hazel works nights, so that actually does work. We can hang out, or you can do homework or whatever. Oh, Rule Nine should be no bed sharing. I’ve actually got a spare mattress that I can set up for you.”

  “Sounds good,” he says in a way that makes it sound like it’s not.

  “Something wrong?”

  He shakes his head and then smiles, but it doesn’t look genuine.

  “You’re not going to bail on our fake relationship before we even get started, are you?”

  “No, I’m good. What’s Rule Ten?”

  I write it down and turn the notebook so he can see it.

  “Have fun. Yes, that should be a Rule,” he says, taking out a pen and underlining it.

  “Okay, there it is: Jett and Shannon’s Ten Rules for Fake Dating.” Jett starts doodling on the title.

  “We’ll just have to make sure to hide this somewhere,” he says.

  “I’ll put it in my purse with my tampons. No one’s going to go in there.” He’s too busy with his drawing to get my joke.

  “So, you in?” I feel like he’s shutting me off, pulling back.

  “I’m in.” Without looking up from the paper, he nods.

  “I feel like we should seal this somehow. Make it official to start our relationship.” I pull out my phone and put the end date of our relationship in my calendar. Perfect. It’s before finals, so that works out well.

  “How about with a kiss? We are in public and we are starting our relationship. People who are dating kiss, don’t they?” He finally looks up from the list.

  “Uh. Yeah. I, um. I guess.” So here’s the deal. All the kisses I’ve ever had in my life have been terrible. Either with noses bumping, slobber, teeth knocking or just plain bad. I didn’t see fireworks, or get weak in the knees or anything like that. I just waited until it was over and I could extricate myself from the situation. Also, what is UP with guys eating gross things and then kissing you? I’m sorry, but I do not want to taste your barbecue bacon cheeseburger and onion rings, thank you very much.

  Jett gets up, comes around to my side of the table and leans down, holding my face with one hand, his thumb brushing my cheek. I close my eyes and pray that this kiss won’t ruin everything.

  “Open your eyes and look at me, Shannon.” His voice is so soft and sweet I have no option but to comply. He’s closer than I thought so I almost jump, but he’s holding me in place.

  “With this kiss, I hereby seal our Fake Relationship,” he says, as if he’s bestowing a knighthood on me, or something. Shouldn’t he be tapping me on the shoulder with a sword?

  He angles his face and very slowly, as if he’s afraid I’m going to bolt, he moves his lips toward mine. I inhale sharply and he takes that as his cue and presses his lips ever-so-gently against mine. For a moment, he’s still. Like he’s letting me get used to the feeling. So far, it’s not terrible. In fact, it’s kind of nice. More than nice. I lean forward and he opens his mouth, deepening the kiss.

  THIS is what kissing should be. I hear myself making a little moaning sound and opening my mouth as well. What is supposed to be a kiss to seal our Fake Relationship feels . . . like the first real kiss I’ve ever had. Before it can go any further, I take my hand and push on his chest and he withdraws, licking his lips as if he’s savoring the taste of me.

  Sexy.

  “And so it begins.”

  “And so it begins.”

  I make up with the rest of my friends via text. I was more pissed at Hazel because she instigated the whole thing. I know I should make a bigger deal about how hurt I’d been, but fixing things with Hazel had been bad enough, and now I just want to put it behind me and get going with my Fake Dating.

  Jett and I decide that we’ll have our first “date” for the following evening.

  “Something public,” I say.

  “Well, there’s a party over at Kappa Sig. Javi’s going and he asked me to go with. Seems pretty public to me.”

  A frat party? I’ve only ever been to one and it was Hazel’s fault. I’d ended up with getting beer poured in my purse. But it might not be so bad with Jett. He could probably protect my purse. And the rest of me. />
  “Hazel’s going to be so pissed she can’t go. She’s always begging me to go to those things. But maybe I can get one of the other girls to come.” I send out a mass text to the rest of the girls and get responses immediately. Daisy and Jordyn are in, Cass can’t, and Hazel has to work. Jordyn’s boyfriend, Tanner, is also in. They’ve just gotten together, so I haven’t really assessed him as a person yet. But he seems sweet (from what she says) and she is happy (from what she says), so that’s all that matters.

  “Okay, we now have a party of five. Or six, I guess. This should be interesting,” I say when I tell Jett about who all is going.

  “Your friends are my friends. If you’re good with them, I’m good with them.” Yeah, we’ll see about that.

  “You haven’t really met my friends, so you’ll probably change your mind after tomorrow night.”

  We both walk out to our cars and I’m not sure how we’re going to say goodbye. Do we kiss again? We are in public. Can I take another kiss standing up? I’d been sitting and that had been bad enough. My knees aren’t strong enough for Jett’s kind of kisses.

  “Call you tonight?” he says as I lean against my car.

  “Yeah, sure.” He leans forward.

  “We’re in public,” he says as I sort of pull back. “There’s a guy, right over there.” He points and I see a guy with dreadlocks smoking right outside the library. He’s also on his phone so I’m pretty sure he’s taken no notice of us. But still. You never know who’s gonna walk by.

  “Yes, we are.” This time I put my hand on his shoulder and lean in. Maybe this way I can control the kiss. I give him the quickest of quick pecks and pull back as fast as I can before he can turn it into something more.

  “See you tomorrow,” I say, turning away and opening my door before he can do anything to stop me. I hear him sigh behind me, and his fingers brush my spine before I get in the car. I look back at him once and he gives me a little wave.

  Bye, Fake Boyfriend.

  “So Jett and I are officially together,” I announce when I get home from the library. Hazel’s at the dining table, reading one of her gigantic textbooks and taking notes. It takes a minute for her eyes to focus and for her to drag herself out of the thrilling world of case law.