When Harry Met Chunglie Box Set

by Jack Q McNeil

“Then I can’t help you. Not now. I am charging you as a material witness. Other charges may be forthcoming.”

  “No… Please, we were only helping a friend.”

  “Say nothing, my love,” cruisOVO said. “I have called our defence lawyers. We will have you out in—"

  “I am arresting you too, Mr cruisOVO,” Marshal Harry said calmly. “I’m calling it protective custody, but we can bring charges if we have to.”

  “You are arresting me… for my own protection?”

  “That’s it.” Marshal Harry stepped in close to mapoTHER. “Your secret will come out. If you tell me now, I can help keep your friends safe.”

  mapoTHER should her head and clamped her mouth shut.

  “What about him?” LB asked as leaCHER climbed to his feet. His shoulders were more stooped than usual.

  “Take him in too,” Marshal Harry said. “Keep them in separate cells. I don’t want them comparing stories.”

  “Stories about what?” leaCHER demanded. “I don’t know what’s going on here. I was only towing this case because my employer told me to.”

  “Me too,” LB said, grabbing leaCHER by the base of the neck and propelling him towards Car 54.

  “What will I be doing?” I asked, having realised only LB was being given instructions.

  The marshal put her hands to her head and waved her index fingers like antennae.

  “We need to find cleoroCASS. Can you sniff out a trail?” she asked.

  “That’s either cute or insectist,” I said. “I haven’t decided.”

  I went to work with my antennae. The alley saw little footfall, and I was able to detect a recent trail from the door to the pavement. Marshal Harry and LB herded the prisoners after me.

  “I think she came out of the restaurant and hopped into a car,” I said.

  “I’ll message around the taxi companies,” LB said, turning away. There are only three companies in the city and they are all owned by Moordenaap. They talk to LB without waiting for a court order. The marshal and I waited in silence.

  “This is not what I had in mind when I came to your office,” cruisOVO said. “In fact, I think I am becoming angry, despite the lack of glands.”

  “I am sorry about that, sir,” the marshal said. “But until we find cleoroCASS—"

  “You won’t find her,” mapoTHER interrupted. “She is somewhere safe.”

  “Where?” Marshal Harry got right up in her face. “Where? She is not safe. None of you are, until the people behind this are brought to the law.”

  “People?” cruisOVO demanded. “You mean more than one?”

  “Right,” LB raised his voice. “cleoroCASS was picked up this morning and dropped at the South West monorail station. Do you want to put out an all points on her?”

  “No,” the marshal said thoughtfully. “Chunglie and I will find her and bring her back.”

  “Yay, road trip,” I said.

  “Is that… a good idea?” LB asked. “The ACM will expect you to be in the office when she arrives. She will want you to brief the Heavy Squad.”

  “Can’t be helped,” the marshal said. “I almost have it. I just need the connection these people are hiding and I think that will give me the who.”

  “Hey, I can find her,” I pointed out. “If anyone can.”

  “I don’t doubt that,” LB said. “It’s the methods you use I worry about.”

  The marshal waved her arms at the street.

  “We need to end this,” she said. “Before the killer escalates further. He has access to the Auld Gowks’ resources and they have other spaceships. You and Car 54 take these three to the office and write up a report. But don’t send it to the ACM ‘til I tell you. We might be lucky and find her before the ACM lands.”

  Car 54 left and we took a taxi across town to the railhead. The maglev system was pre-space flight technology for the Waddudu and joined every nest so resources could move freely. I picked up cleoroCASS’ scent almost immediately and followed it down a sloped tunnel. The tunnel was high enough for a Waddudu soldier to walk without ducking and wide enough for two of them to walk abreast. If they had breasts. The tunnel and walls of the terminus were of concrete, which the marshal has stated looks dull and grey. That’s because she has no sense of smell. Waddudu artists painted the walls in works of abstract pheromones, the beauty of which often left me dizzy.

  “She got on a train here,” I told the marshal. “But, according to the board, this track services three Queendoms, so I can’t tell which one she used.”

  “What board?” Harry asked, peering around in the dim light. The terminus was pre-First Contact technology, and the Waddudu had added lights, but they were small and the ceiling was high.

  “Sorry, forgot you don’t have a sense of smell,” I said. “We’re standing on the board. It lists arrivals and departures in pheromones.”

  “Let’s head to the ticket office and find out where cleoroCASS went.”

  “There isn’t a ticket office?” I said. “The queens run this system to move resources around, and anyone can get on or off where they like.”

  “Oh…” The marshal licked her lips. “Was there a train to the Cornlands earlier today?”

  I scurried over the board, enjoying a good sniff with my antennae. “Yes, there was one four hours ago.”

  “When is the next one?”

  “Fifteen minutes. What makes you think she has gone there?”

  “I’m going to gamble that she has gone home. I’ll message LB and warn him we are going to miss the ACM.””

  “Harry,” I asked as we waited for the train, ”how did you know mapoTHER and cleoroCASS were connected to the town in the Cornlands?”

  “I didn’t really,” Harry said. “I came up with a working theory that they might be connected, and then mapoTHER’s response confirmed it.”

  “Okay, but how did you know they are keeping a secret?”

  “Remember you said that there were a lot of people with rare family names involved in this case?”

  “I did?”

  “Yes. You also pointed out that Qoh Modes often use minor families for fake IDs. So… we have a town out in the boonies with a population of people with fake IDs. Seemed reasonable that they are bound by a secret.”

  “And mapoTHER confirmed that by not admitting there was a secret?”

  “Something like that.” Harry looked around. There were only workers stacking floater crates ready to be put on the train. “I don’t suppose there are snacks? I skipped breakfast.”

  “There is a snack bar in the corner.” I pointed with a claw. “But probably not your kind of thing.”

  “Still moving?”

  “That’s the way the Waddudu like them.”

  “You know, when I was considering an adventure away from Earth, I never thought the snacks would be a problem.”

  The train flew into the terminus and was caught by clamps. It was a hundred-metre-long bullet made out of ceramic, polished to a high shine.

  “Impressive,” Harry said. “But how come there are no windows? I was hoping for a look at the rest of Smuds.”

  “It only travels through vacuum sealed tunnels, so there’s no point having windows.”

  “But it’s what, fifteen hundred miles to the Cornlands?”

  “Yes, so what?”

  “Well… that’s a lot of tunnel.”

  “The Waddudu live underground,” I reminded the marshal. “Organics travel in the forward compartment.”

  The marshal stepped on first. There was a nasty moment when the magnetic track caught hold of Old Number Seven, but I managed to wrest it back.

  “Odd,” Harry noted. “Scanners and magnetic fields never pick up Trembling Bob. Are you sure that thing is a gun?”

  “It has a trigger, and when I pull it things disappear. What else could it be?”

  “Good point.” Harry looked up and down the empty carriage.” I thought there would be more people.”

  “Hardly any off-world
ers use the maglev,” I said. “Only Port City is set up to cater for us. The rest of the planet is solid Waddudu. That’s why I was surprised to hear about this town of Qoh Modes living in the Cornlands. I can’t even find a name for the place, and it doesn’t appear on any official maps.”

  “But the Queen of Corn must know about it?”

  “Yes. Nothing happens above or below ground that the queens don’t know about.”

  There were different sized seats, all heavily upholstered in a grey fabric. The walls were grey and the floor was grey.

  “Remind me never to hire a Waddudu interior designer,” Harry said as she walked down the aisle.

  “The Waddudu only see in monochrome,” I pointed out. “But the floors are painted in pheromone art.”

  Harry found a seat her size, dropped into it, and examined the harness.

  “At least the seats are comfortable,” she said. “Back on Earth, they are only form-fitted plastic.”

  “On this train, that would cause injuries.”

  I heard the rear compartment doors closing and clambered onto the thick pole above the seats. It had built-in claw grips at handy intervals.

  “Is that for the Waddudu?” Harry asked, plugging a buckle together.

  “Yes, but it is good for me too. The train will leave in a minute. You better finish belting in.”

  “But look at all these straps.” Harry waved one. “They can’t all be for one person?”

  “They are. Buckle them down tight and lie back against the upholstery.”

  “You know we have trains on Earth?” Harry said. “I know my way around one.”

  “If you say so,” I said, gripping the wood hard. There was a warning buzzer as the train moved through the airlock. Vibrations reached my claws as the lock cycled to vacuum, doors opened, and the train moved forward.

  “Any second now,” I warned.

  “Is there an onboard restaurant?”

  “No point.”

  The train launched. Harry’s face mushed and wiggled as the G force pushed her back into the chair. I couldn’t help laughing.

  “What’s happening?” she forced through her lips.

  “Train accelerating to sixty thousand miles an hour,” I told her. My artificial voice box was unaffected by the G forces. I must admit my limbs were growing tired a minute later when we started to brake. The train slowed and stopped. We felt the vibrations of it moving out of a tunnel, into an airlock.

  “You might have warned me?” Harry said.

  “I was, but you said you had trains on Earth.”

  “We do. I thought a thousand miles an hour was fast, but this?”

  “That’s Waddudu queens for you. If a worker isn’t working, they are wasting time.” I got down from the pole gingerly. “This way.”

  The doors opened on a small, unlit station. I turned on my infrared and watched the Waddudu workers swarm out of tunnels and begin unloading crates from the rear of the train. Harry put a hand on my head.

  “I can’t see a thing down here.”

  “I keep telling you, you should get your eyes upgraded,” I grumbled. “My cybernetics guy can hook you up with infrared and ultraviolet implants, really cheap.”

  “No thanks. I hate the implants I already have. Don’t want anymore.”

  I followed the pheromone signs to the exit ramp and Harry followed me.

  “Is this the only exit?” she asked as we walked up a tunnel.

  “The only exit to the surface, yes. There are four exits that go down into the Queen of Corns’ nest.” I pointed with four claws before I remembered Harry could not see me.

  “Would a Qoh Mode use those tunnels?”

  “I doubt it… Okay, I have cleoroCASS’ scent going this way. No one has come out here since. It really is a quiet little station.”

  “Doesn’t sound quiet to me. I can hear all kinds of clattering and banging coming from over there.”

  “Okay, quiet in terms of travellers,” I admitted. “Busy in terms of cargo.”

  We reached the surface and Harry looked around at the fields. The crops were planted in neat rows, all the way to the horizon, tended by workers.

  “What are those big green plants?”

  “That’s the corn.”

  “They look more like giant cabbages to me.”

  I shrugged. “Well, there are only so many words to go round. They tend to mean different things to different people. Except taxi. For some reason that always means a form of public transport.”

  My cyber desktop beeped a warning before my holo-projector was overridden and the ACM appeared before us. She was projected full height and wearing eight-inch heeled boots that reached to her thighs. If I had a chin, it would be on the floor.

  “What are you wearing?” I blurted. I’d never seen a Tooyr wearing clothes before.

  “I noticed heels make little people like Marshal Ward taller.” ACM Ooula threw back her head and stretched her neck. “They make me look like a goddess.”

  “I am not little,” Harry insisted. “I am above average height for a human woman.”

  “Ward, I am at your office,” the ACM boomed. “And you are not. I want an explanation.”

  “It was unavoidable, ma’am,” Marshal Harry said. “We are missing a key piece of information and—"

  “You arrested the wife of the victim. I have reviewed the evidence and it seems a solid case. What more do you need?”

  “I don’t know,” Marshal Harry said. She held up her hands as if moving large pieces around. “We have all these pieces of the puzzle, but the middle link isn’t there. I can see… the shape of it. I’ve almost got it.”

  The ACM rubbed her face in her hands. “Any other marshal would be fired for pissing me off like this, Ward.”

  “Sorry, ma’am. It was not my intention to piss anyone off.” I metaphorically held my breath.

  “Right, find this missing whatever. I want a report every hour on the hour, and whatever the fuck you do, don’t get killed.” The hologram flickered off.

  “Heart of gold, really,” I said.

  “IQ of 200 and the temperament of an active volcano, more like,” Harry said.

  “Can you tell which way cleoroCASS went from here? Or do we need to track down the local taxi companies?”

  I waved a claw at the endless fields.

  “There are no taxi companies out here. She went this way,” I said, following the trail at a fast scurry. “But I am worried.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she is running as hard as she can.”

  CHAPTER 18

  “That may not mean anything,” Marshal Harry said. “She may be… jogging?”

  I looked up `jogging` in the human wiki I had founded. “Erm, no. Qoh Modes only run if someone is chasing them.”

  “They don’t exercise to stay fit?”

  “Not that I’ve seen.”

  As I scurried, I received a message from LB. His face was projected on the inside of my eyes.

  “The ACM is going to interview mapoTHER under caution,” he said. “And wants me to play bad cop to intimidate her. I need your advice.”

  “What do you need my advice for?” I asked, scanning all the way to the horizon and finding no town and no sign of cleoroCASS. I tried to remember if Qoh Modes were long-distance runners or sprinters.

  “How do I play bad cop?” LB asked, grinning. “You’re so good at it, I thought you could tell me.”

  “I don’t play,” I said before hanging up. “I am bad to the core.”

  We walked for an hour along a dirt track. The marshal had reported in on the hour, as ordered, to be informed that the lawyers had arrived and mapoTHER was refusing to say word one.

  “mapoTHER is tougher than she looks,” Harry commented.

  I was coated with dust and leg weary when I finally spotted the town. We had walked into the middle of it. Qoh Mode towns are underground; all there was to see was a square network of paths edged with drainage ditches. Shelves of
rock placed at intervals hid small windows.

  “We’re here,” I said. “This town is so traditional, it’s like being back on the homeworld.”

  Harry looked around. “I’ll take your word for it. This just looks like an empty field to me.”

  “Yeah, they were hunted hard in the old days,” I said. “They learned to keep their homes hidden.”

  I scurried back and forth until I found cleoroCASS’s scent. It was harder to follow, mixed through with similar scents. She followed the paths and stayed off the little hills and grassy patches. It is considered polite in Qoh Mode society not to walk on someone else’s roof.

  We walked round a grassy mound and found a group of kids playing, but an adult hurried out grabbed arms and huckled them underground.

  “They know we are here,” Marshal Harry said. “Looks like they don’t want to talk to us.”

  “I wish you’d carry a gun.”

  “That’s what I have you for. Besides, I can’t hit a barn door at thirty paces.”

  A head popped out of a hole, spotted me, and ducked.

  “Hello?” I said quickly. “We’re looking for—" But the head was gone. A door slammed and bolted. “I expected CASS to be running to some friends, but a whole town?”

  “Don’t draw a weapon yet,” Harry said in a whisper. “I want to try talking first.”

  “Just one gun? We’ve no back up and there could be hundreds of people living here.”

  “Just because we’re walking through the middle of town and everyone’s hiding doesn’t mean there has to be a shooting match.”

  The ambush sprung. Sleek bodies hurtled from holes around us. They carried wooden staves. Not the worst-case scenario.

  “These’re the young men looking to prove themselves.” I didn’t bother whispering because teenagers never listen.

  “What you doing here bug and… bird?” the leader asked, sweeping one of my legs with a foot. I stopped and lifted the claw back towards me.

  “What did you think that was going to achieve, when a person has thirteen other claws to work with?”

  “I thought it would make you stop,” he said. “You didn’t answer my question, bug.”

  “I’m here doing my job,” I said. “I’m a deputy marshal pursuing a fugitive.”