Broken French: A widowed, billionaire, single dad romance

by Natasha Boyd

  His shoulders sank with relief at my nod.

  “Um. Can I call you?” I asked. “I have … I have work. And plans.” Cancel everything, my heart shouted. “And I need … I need to think. I need to think about whether I … believe you, and what that means.”

  “Of course,” he said, swallowing heavily and stepping back. A grimness was already creeping into his countenance, like a man who knew the blow was coming and was marshalling all his armor to withstand the force of it. His hand moved to rub the center of his chest. “Of course, I understand.”

  “H—how long are you here?” I asked.

  He let out a humorless laugh and scrubbed a hand down his face.

  “What’s funny?” I asked.

  He shook his head. “Nothing is funny. Ironic, maybe. I have made plans to stay for a while. An endless while. I hoped to show you I meant everything I said about how I feel. But I can see it might be too late.”

  “Oh.” Confusion and joy and wariness all competed for my attention. His eyes grew sad, letting me see his emotions in a way I never had. I could tell him it wasn’t too late. But I didn’t know.

  We gazed at each other, new wariness and vulnerability clashing with the realities of our situation and growing into a chasm between us. And God, not forgetting that no matter what he’d just said, words that I wanted to wallow in and savor and study and cradle, I lived here. He lived there. It was hopeless. I blinked back a fresh burn of tears.

  “I will be here for as long as it takes,” he said.

  “But what about your business?”

  He shrugged. “I own it. I feel like doing business from here now.”

  “Oh,” I said weakly. “And what about Dauphine?” God, Dauphine, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t thought of her until this second.

  “She’s here.”

  My head whipped around in both directions. “Wait. Where?”

  “Right now? She is with a nanny at the hotel we are staying at. The Planter’s Inn. You know it?”

  It was my favorite local luxury hotel because they’d worked so hard to blend in to the architectural history of the city. Low profile, high elegance, with a courtyard, just like the old Charleston houses. I nodded. “I know it.”

  He felt in his inner breast pocket and pulled out a card and a silver fountain pen. He scribbled a number on the back. “It’s our suite number. Please come. Dauphine would like to say hello. She is desperate to see you.”

  “She hasn’t called in a few days, I assumed it was because she was getting better at falling asleep.”

  “She is. Thank you for that,” he added sincerely. “Your generosity with her,” he licked his lips, “well, thank you.”

  “I did it for her. Not you.”

  He gave a nod. “I know that. I am thankful all the same.”

  “And I did it for me. I love her.”

  “I know that too. And I’ll never forgive myself for accusing you of hurting her. I was panicked. Scared. And what I realized recently was I was not just reacting with fear for my daughter. The time we spent together, you and I … it was like an earthquake. I felt exposed. In danger. Because I was falling in love with you. I grabbed on to a reason to push you away, to not trust you. It was wrong. So very wrong. I know I’ve apologized before. But, Josephine, the pain I must have caused you …” He dragged in a deep breath through his nose and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as if to contain his emotion.

  Shit, I was going to cry again.

  “I feel that pain as if it was my own now. I cannot believe I inflicted it when all you did was love and heal us.”

  “You’re not making it easy for me to be strong.”

  He stepped toward me, his hand settling on my neck. Warm and rough. “Don’t be strong then. Be weak like me. Then we can be strong together.”

  “I need to think.”

  “I know. But je suis … I am afraid if you think too hard you won’t pick us. And I have so much more to say to you.” His eyes left mine to swing left and right, then narrowing briefly on the window of the yacht showroom. “Things I cannot say right now.”

  “Sylvie is watching us, isn’t she?”

  “Mais oui.” His gaze swung back to mine.

  “She’s wondering how a god like you is begging a sweaty, dirty, heap of a girl like me to take a chance on him.”

  “I love this sweaty girl.” He leaned in and ran his tongue up my neck under my ear, causing goosebumps to erupt across my skin and liquid heat to settle in my belly.

  “Xavier!”

  “She tastes good. Her skin is flushed and damp and salty like it is after we make love. And whether she’s dirty or not …” he inhaled a hungry and breathy groan in my ear that I felt between my legs. “I would love to find out. I’m hoping she is.”

  I whimpered as I tried to let out a casual laugh. Jesus. I’d gone from emotional wreck to lust-crazed, weak-kneed damsel in seconds.

  “Ahh, I miss your sounds, Joséphine. And there are things I would like to do too, and here is not the place for them.” He was pulling out all the stops to get me to give him a chance.

  I placed my palms on his chest and pushed him back. “Fine.” I shivered. “Fine, I will see you tonight. I’m meeting friends, but I’ll see you afterward, okay?”

  He broke into a brilliant smile.

  “Put that away,” I grumbled.

  He smiled wider. “I cannot.” But then his face fell. “What time will you come? Dauphine might be asleep because she is on French time and she will be so disappointed. I want to see you tonight though. Maybe that is better if she is sleeping because we can talk in private. Can we see you again tomorrow?” He grabbed my hand. “Whatever happens tonight, good or bad, tell me you will keep a promise to see Dauphine tomorrow.”

  I swallowed. “Of course.”

  “Bon.” He nodded, then his grin struggled to break through again.

  “I didn’t bring my sunglasses to deal with your smile.”

  His teeth flashed.

  “I can’t believe you recognized me from behind,” I added.

  “I can. You forget how much time I spent obsessed with your ass.” He winked.

  My heart swelled and fizzed. Letting a controlled breath out, in case I started screaming with the giddiness that was bubbling up inside me, I took a step to the side with a jerk of my thumb. “I need to go, I’m late for work.”

  “D’accord, Joséphine. À ce soir.” He pressed his lips to my wrist then let it go.

  “Until tonight.” I nodded and turned. Four steps later, I glanced over my shoulder to catch him looking at my butt. He winked and shrugged with his palms up as if to say “What did you expect?” I turned and jogged backward for three steps, shaking my head and fighting a smile, then with a wave I resumed my run. I didn’t look back until I arrived, sweating, but driven by wings on my feet the whole way home, at the front door of our apartment.

  Chapter Fifty-Two

  Emergency girls’ night. ASAP. I texted the group chat with Meredith and Tabitha.

  Mer: We’re already meeting, dumbass.

  Yes. But I’m setting the tone.

  Mer: Why?

  It’s a long story. Best not over group text.

  Mer: Ooh.

  Tabs: Oh, what? Never mind. I think I know why.

  ??

  Mer: ??

  Tabs: Um… It wouldn’t have anything to do with me organizing a local nanny for Xavier Pascale would it?

  Mer: What?!!!!!!

  What?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Mer: Holy shit. (Side-eye emoji)

  You knew he was here? Wait. Wrong response.

  Tabs: Yes. He called me two days ago and said he had business in Charleston. The question is why I didn’t know why YOU might need to know. Don’t you think you perhaps should have told me something? So I didn’t have to hear it FROM MY CLIENT!

  Mer: oof.

  I’m sorry. So sorry.

  Mer: This is so awkward.

  You weren’t here. An
d I know it was against the rules. Didn’t want to stress you out. But I was going to tell you, I promise. Wait. When did HE tell you?

  Tabitha: This morning. He called and told me you and he had had a relationship. He assumed I knew.

  Mer: In Josie’s defense she was going to tell you tonight.

  I was. I promise. Cringing, I hit send.

  Mer: But anyway, back to the important shit. He’s here? Like here, HERE? In Charleston. This is OMG. Josie, how did you find out?

  I ran into him. Literally. Was out running.

  Mer: Eek. Did he see you?

  Understatement. Yes. He saw me … drooping in the heat, sweat pooling all over me, and hair frizzing in the humidity.

  Mer: Ouch.

  Ouch, indeed.

  Mer: Did you talk?

  Yes. That’s why the tone setting for girl’s night is EMERGENCY. So Tabs, what did he say exactly?

  Tabs: I have a meeting right now. Chat later xo

  Ugh!

  Mer: Ugh!

  So much I need to share. And as much as it is going to KILL ME to keep it bottled up until later, it’s better that I tell you guys in person.

  Mer: Pleeeease. Just a little bit? Is he here for you?

  No. His boat.

  Mer: I don’t believe that. Tell me just a little. Did he say he couldn’t live without you?

  I’m almost at work, I gotta go.

  Mer: Pleeease!!! Did he tell you he loves you?

  Mer: Josie?

  Mer: Josie?

  Mer: JOSIE!!!!!

  Yes, he did. But …

  Mer: SQUEEEEALLLL. No buts.

  All the buts.

  Mer: Bullshit. I’ll talk you straight later.

  I have no doubt you’ll try. But I might not need much convincing.

  Mer: OMG. Seriously?

  I bit my lip. Seriously.

  Tabs: Entering the chat again against my better judgment. Seriously?

  Mer: Hi Tabs. Knew you couldn’t resist a good love story. Maybe you should open a matchmaking service instead? This is amazing. Do me next?

  I chuckled aloud.

  Tabs: LOLOLOLOL. No.

  Oh, also, I asked Barb to come meet us for a margarita. She has some work news to share. Hope you all don’t mind.

  Mer: I love Barb. The more the merrier.

  Tabs: Fine with me. As long as you’re not embarrassed to be reamed out for screwing your boss in front of an ex-coworker.

  I pursed my lips and selected the straight mouthed emoji and hit send.

  Mer: oof. Again.

  For the first time since I’d started my new job, the day dragged. My mind was all over the place. The man I was in love with was in my city. He wanted to be with me and I was dragging my feet. At lunchtime, I only had thirty-five minutes between meetings so I made my way to Washington Square with a smoothie, found a bench, and called my mother. It was a tiny park, one city block, if that. And not too many people knew of its existence, or at least if they did they never walked through the gate.

  “Mom.” The relief at hearing her voice as she answered made my throat tighten. Sometimes you just needed your mom. I didn’t realize how much I’d needed her to answer.

  “Darling. This is a nice surprise. To what do I owe the honor?”

  “Do I really call you that infrequently?” I cleared my throat and smiled, relief loosening my whole body.

  She laughed. “No, but you never call me during the work day. How’s it going over there?”

  “It’s great. You knew me better than I knew myself, getting me the contact there. It’s perfect for me. I love the people. I love the preservation projects. I do miss being creatively challenged. But I’ll find a way to get back to that somehow.”

  “I’m thrilled. But that’s not why you called me, is it?”

  I blew out a breath. “No. Mom … how did you know Dad was the one?”

  There was silence. “Mom?”

  “Yes, darling. Sorry. You just took me by surprise. I don’t know specifically. None of it made any sense. He was ‘old Charleston.’ I was an immigrant outsider. You know Charleston. So progressive in so many ways, so closed and backwards in others, especially letting newcomers in. But our love was … well, it was otherworldly. On paper, everyone’s eyebrows were raised. But for us it felt bigger than anything. But what clinched it was when he said he would move and leave his friends and his family and the city where he grew up and his job. Everything. Just for a chance to be with me because I had an internship that would take me to London for six months with a chance to begin a career there.”

  “And you didn’t go? You gave up your career for him?”

  “Oh, honey. It was a different time. And no. I had the same career. Just … different.”

  “But not the internationally renowned one you could have had—”

  “Josephine.” She let out a sigh. “The point is. It didn’t matter because I had your father. The point was he would give up everything for me, the way I would for him. But if you’re asking me for my blessing because you want to give up your job for this Frenchman, then I’m afraid I’ll have to advise you to take a long moment.”

  “Did you feel the same way about Nicolas?”

  “No.”

  “Then why did you marry him?”

  “I was lonely. You know what it’s like at my age. Well you don’t, but it’s always better to be a part of a couple than be a single woman. Everyone is kind at first, but then you stop getting invited to things when you’re single and ready to date. And when it got to that stage, it was obvious I needed to settle down. Nicolas was … he was kind. A bit flashy. But kind. I know now he was telling me all the things I needed to hear to trust him, but I was sad, and lonely, and you were so lonely. And I thought if we felt like a complete family again then you would be happier.”

  I pinched the bridge of my nose and closed my eyes.

  “Not that it was your fault, at all,” she hurried on. “It was me. All me. We—we had some good times, didn’t we? With Nicolas?”

  “Yeah. I guess. We did.”

  “Look, whatever is going on with you, I need you to know I want you to follow your heart. Even if it leads you to France. You know that would probably make your dad happier than anything.”

  “Mom—”

  “It would. He always wanted to go back and see if we could trace back his history. And don’t you worry about me.”

  “Mom. I’m not leaving. I love Charleston. My friends are here. You’re here. I love my new job.”

  “But you love him too.”

  “Yes.” I blew out a breath. “So much. So much my heart feels too big for my chest. And when I thought it was over, I was … devastated. And now he’s here.”

  “Josie? Really? He came for you?”

  “Don’t get carried away, he came here to check on his yacht.”

  “Did he bring his daughter?”

  “Yes. But that doesn’t mean anything.”

  “Maybe not. But don’t you think maybe he was using the yacht as a reason to do what he really wanted to do?”

  I scrunched up my face and my free hand. “Yes, Mom. Yes.” I unclenched everything with the admission. “That’s why I’m calling. I … Mom, I’m scared. He’s broken. God, he’s so broken. I love him, and he’s even admitted he doesn’t trust his feelings. But now he’s saying he loves me. I know if I do this I’ll need to take a leap of faith, and I’m asking you, how did you know? Really, please, how did you know?” I blinked rapidly.

  “That’s asking how you know the full moon is round. You just know. Do you know?” she asked.

  “I think I do know. I know that he’s the person for me. But,” I drew in a fortifying breath, “nothing is forever guaranteed, even if I know.”

  “Oh, honey.” She let out a long breath. “You mean because your dad died.”

  I closed my eyes, squeezing out the tears that were waiting. “Yes. I—Xavier’s first wife died, Mom.” My voice broke. “I can’t imagine that k
ind of pain. He’s been through it. And it happened to you, Mom. And the next choice you made was Nicolas.” What if I am his Nicolas? “How can I take this chance when it’s not guaranteed. When he’s my right choice, but I could be his wrong choice? I’m so scared. It feels too big. I don’t know. Dad left us. Nicolas betrayed us. Even though I know Xavier’s the one for me, how do I take this chance?” My sob broke free. “What if I’m not the one for him?”

  A hitched breath, and a sniffle told me my mom was crying too.

  “Oh, God. I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t want to make you cry too.”

  She blew out a breath. “It’s okay. I’m crying because I’m happy.”

  “W-what?”

  “I’m happy that you’ve found this kind of love. There’s nothing, nothing, that if I’d known it ahead of time would have stopped me being with your father. That kind of love is the kind you’ll walk through fire for. You’ll die a thousand times or bear the loss again and again just to have known it. It’s big and it’s scary, but it’s worth it. Even everything I had to go through with Nicolas. If I could do it all again, I’d do it willingly to have had those years with your father. And to have had you. Our daughter.”

  I swiped at my cheeks. “Oh, Mom.” It came out a whisper.

  “It’s true. So whether or not you decide to go for this, I want you to know that I will be there for you no matter what.” She paused. “And also, it would be really cool to get a head start on a granddaughter by starting with a ten-year-old.”

  “Mom!” I gasped a choking laugh.

  “I’m just saying. I wouldn’t mind being the American grandmother who spoils her rotten. I’m ready.”

  “She’ll be lucky to have you.”

  “She’ll be lucky to have you, Josephine.”

  A strange whining sound came from my chest and throat as I fought back more crying. I tried to purse my lips and blow like I was blowing into a paper bag. “Whoo.”

  “What else is it?”

  “Well, you know he’s like really well known in France. If I do this … people are going to want to know who I am. Who my family is. And I’m worried.”

  There was a pause. “For who?”