The Underdogs Box Set - Books 1-3 (gay rockstar romance)

by K. A. Merikan

  Mage briefly hung his head. He’d ran trials of this very conversation in his head so many times, but now that it was actually happening, he didn’t remember any of his smart arguments. “I’m bisexual. So I had girlfriends in the past, but now I have a boyfriend. I want you to get to know Dawn better, now that you found out.”

  “For Christ’s sake, Magnus! His name is Dawn, his brother’s name is Dusk, and their parents have a hippy-dippy organic farm. Do you really think we’re compatible for get-togethers?”

  That was it.

  “You are such a snob. Whether you like it or not, the Hills are going to become your future family, so you’d better start getting used to the idea.”

  He only realized that he’d raised his voice when his neck ached from forcing the sound out through his tightened throat. He couldn’t believe his parents would be talking like this about people they knew Mage respected.

  “Is it really necessary to rebel against us in everything?” Mom asked in a voice suggesting she was tired with the conversations. Well, Mage was, too.

  “My life isn’t all about you! That’s what you think? That all the choices I make are a way to… what exactly? To spite you? I have a successful career in something I love. None of it has anything to do with what you approve of or not!”

  “So many bisexual men have perfectly normal relationships with women. Why Dawn of all people? Why not someone who’d be better fit with your upbringing? Wouldn’t you have more in common that way?”

  Mage clutched at his dreadlocks, and the visceral sound of an electric guitar solo initiating the next gig vibrated through his body like the physical manifestation of anger. “I don’t want to be with a woman. I don’t want to be with a law student. I want to be with Dawn, because I love him. And for your information, I was already in love with him when I was dating Layla. Where are those questions even coming from anyway? It’s like you spent the past few years on another planet!”

  Dad went dead silent, but at least he wasn’t offending Dawn, because Mage had his limits pushed too far. Mom picked up the glove instead.

  “So how is the business of the band going? You said something about contracts with a label before?”

  Looked like it was fine to change the topic as long as she was the one to do it.

  Mage crossed his arms over his chest and took a deep breath despite his head still pulsing with heat. “It’s going great. We’re negotiating, but we will probably finalize everything in January. Everything is going really well. I even plan to move to a larger apartment, since the earnings are good,” he said, knowing that nothing worried Mom and Dad more than his potential lack of financial security.

  And he understood it on some level. His parents hadn’t been born into wealth and had gotten to where they were without anyone’s support. Having money meant more comfort, stability and security, but they couldn’t understand that, to their son, those things meant very little if they came at the cost of living a life that didn’t make him happy.

  Someone tapped on his back, and Asher appeared at his side. He smiled at Mage’s parents. If only they knew what a freak he was, they wouldn’t be judging Mage so harshly.

  “Mage, here’s the contract draft. I’m sorry to interrupt, but we can look into signing it ASAP.”

  Energy burst into Mage’s bloodstream, and he pulled the thick wad of A4 paper out of Asher’s hands. “We were talking about this, actually. Everything is going according to plan,” he said, briefly showing his parents the front page of the contract. He could barely breathe, exhausted as if he’d just finished running a marathon. They would eventually see that their judgment has been flawed all along. About Mage’s musical career, and about his love life. Perhaps once he could afford a house bigger than theirs, in a more prestigious neighborhood, their nonsense would finally stop.

  Dad’s eyebrows almost reached his hairline, and he took a look at the paperwork, for once interested in Mage’s career. “I wasn’t aware that there was this much progress. You might think I don’t care, but that’s not true. Music is a tough industry to break into, and the fact that you’re being offered this is impressive,” he said as if Mage hadn’t known the cost and risks of his chosen path, but his heart still soared with pride.

  This was new. The moment they saw hard proof that he hadn’t dreamt up the future record deal, their expressions changed like the inside of a kaleidoscope. Had they really assumed he’d been just passing time instead of thinking seriously about his life? So typical. “Yes. It is. I still need to read it all.”

  “Maybe your father could go through it with you. Lend his professional expertise,” Mom said with a soothing smile.

  Wow. Asher’s intervention worked like a charm. As always.

  Dad nodded. “I have a friend who has experience in this kind of thing, I’m sure he can help if needed.”

  Asher smiled at Mage. “I don’t want to disturb your family reunion, but come over when you’re ready, so we can discuss this.”

  “We don’t want to be keeping you,” Mom said. “Visit us soon, so we can celebrate the signing.”

  Mage pulled the contract to his chest. “I’ll bring Dawn. You should really get to know him better.”

  There, he stood his ground. He knew his parents did not hate gay people, so they would come around to him being with a man eventually. The sooner the better for all of them.

  After a few more awkward goodbyes, they went their separate ways, and Mage could finally breathe again. Asher was leading the way to the trailer in the area behind the stage, which served as their dressing/party room for the night, but Mage could have been easily guided by the sounds of Dusk and Sid singing We are the champions.

  He entered without knocking, and his gaze instantly wandered to Dawn, who jumped off the sofa and closed Mage in a hug. His arms were tight around Mage’s chest, but somehow the embrace made breathing easier.

  “We’re invited to my parents’ for dinner soon. We’ll both have some valerian root pills before we go.”

  Dawn laughed nervously. “Are you sure they won’t eat me alive?”

  Mage smirked and leaned in to whisper in Dawn’s ear. “They can’t eat their future son-in-law.”

  Dawn gave him the sweetest smile and leaned his cheek against Mage’s shoulder.

  “Listen up guys!” Asher said as soon as he walked in. “I’ve got the contract drafts.” He passed out a copy to each of the band members, and Dawn’s face became serious in a snap.

  Lolly moved his legs, knocking his heels on the cupboard he was sitting on. “Why the rush? It’s New Year’s Eve! Is anyone even sober enough to read through all that lawspeak?”

  Asher raised his hands before walking up to Sid and rubbing the shaved side of his head with his index finger, as if he were petting a cat. “Best to make hay while the sun shines. Anyway, I went through the whole thing with my lawyer, and it’s all sound. They wouldn’t budge on the content input clause, but that’s not that big of a deal. Hardly anyone in the business has complete control over their career so early on.”

  Dusk frowned and sipped some beer. “But how would that actually work in practice?”

  Asher offered them the kind of smile he had for business occasions. “Mr. Samwell was here tonight, and he was very impressed with the new song.”

  Dawn hugged the contract to his chest and stepped up to Asher in the tight space of the trailer. “But we talked about the no-changes-to-our-songs being very important.”

  Sid opened himself a beer. “They’re signing us for the kind of music we do, so don’t worry, it’s not like they’ll want us to start doing choreographed dances and pop songs. Samwell was saying there are just tweaks they want to make to the songs. They’ve got professionals to help us with that, so don’t worry.”

  Asher picked that up with almost too much enthusiasm. “Yes. He actually said that You. Forever. Always. Could be a perfect Valentine’s single. We’d just have to tinker a bit with the second stanza.”

  “I’ve tin
kered with it for months!” Dawn raised his voice so suddenly Mage was taken aback, but he understood this had to be about the song being so personal to Dawn.

  Sid rolled his eyes. “Christ, don’t be such a diva, we all need to compromise.”

  Okay, so Mage wouldn’t have put it like that exactly, but Sid had never been a sensitive soul.

  “What he means is that it’s probably going to be cosmetic changes. The spirit of the lyrics will remain as it is now,” Mage said, rubbing Dawn’s back. The thick wad of terms and conditions that would secure his future burned his palms and would only stop once Mage’s name was on it somewhere, in blood or ink.

  But Dawn needed to sign it too.

  Dusk leaned against a bunk bed. “I know this new song is special to you, so if you want to keep it the way it is, and they don’t agree, we just won’t release it. How does that sound for compromise?”

  Mage exhaled with relief. “Yes, I think that would work. What do you think, Dawn?”

  Dawn’s shoulders squared even more. “I hate it. I hate everything about it!”

  Mage’s jaw stiffened, and his fingers tightened on the contract until their joints ached. Just minutes ago, he’d boasted to his parents that this was happening. If this deal fell through, how was he to look into their faces? He would be a joke. Even his siblings would finally drop the pretense of support and stop keeping their doubts to moments when they thought he couldn’t hear them.

  “Dawn, come on. It’s just a few words. Our future depends on this!”

  Dawn wouldn’t meet his eyes. “I’ll go read it on my own.”

  Mage groaned. “Asher said his lawyers went over the contract, you’ll just need to sign it. Once we all agree on that, we can celebrate New Year’s and the contract. And we even got champagne here,” he tried.

  Dawn stiffly moved past Asher and toward the door. “I don’t feel like spending time with you right now.”

  Mage followed him, stunned. “Dawn, come on! Don’t be like that.”

  But Dawn left without a word, and when the door shut with a loud bang, the noise it had produced echoed in the emptiness that was Mage’s brain.

  What the hell just happened?

  Chapter 14

  He shouldn’t have waited those fifteen minutes before first trying to contact Dawn. He should have followed him, made him go back to the trailer, or persuaded him on his own. By the time Mage decided it was time to contact him, everyone’s calls went straight to voicemail, and messages remained unanswered. The longer Dawn was away, the gloomier Mage’s thoughts became. His brain filled with the darkest scenarios, like Dawn getting assaulted or robbed, or perhaps frightened so badly he couldn’t bring himself to return.

  Two hours on, following an extensive search around the festival grounds, all five of them returned to the trailer with nothing. Throughout the search, Dusk had been getting increasingly agitated, and since he’d drank several beers before, things were going downhill fast.

  “I’ll go get us some coffees,” Lolly said among the rising tension, which was pretty typical. Like a rat abandoning a sinking ship, Lolly had a talent for sensing an upcoming fight and leaving before it could affect him.

  “Sure, babe,” Dusk said, sending Mage a gorilla-like glare.

  Lolly offered everyone a stiff grin and disappeared, leaving behind a tense silence. Dusk shut the trailer door, standing guard as if he intended to wordlessly communicate that nobody would leave before he was done with saying whatever he wanted to say.

  Mage swallowed, feeling queasy about Dawn walking away from the festival grounds. This wasn’t an area meant for pedestrians. If Dawn left by walking along the road, someone could consider him an easy target for robbery, stop the car and hurt him. “Maybe we should just search for him some more.”

  Dusk punched the door, sending a metallic echo throughout the trailer. “That’s not the point! We shouldn’t have pushed so much. Why you of all people? Aren’t you always his knight in shining armor?”

  Mage blinked. “What? You literally came up with a solution he hated, so don’t push it all on me!”

  “Yeah, but you’re his new boyfriend! If he doesn’t wanna talk to you anymore, what the fuck is up with that? Has there been trouble we don’t know about, or something? I’m not being nosy, but I told you what I’ll do to you if you hurt him!”

  Sid rolled his eyes. “He’ll be fine. He just needs some time to come around.”

  Dusk bolted toward him like a rabid dog. Asher stepped in between and pushed him back, his expression serious. “How about you go lie down if you can’t be civil about this? This is not a one-way conversation. We’re all in this together.”

  Dusk spun in place, breathing loudly through his nose. “You have no voice in this, because you’re not a part of this band!”

  Mage hissed and stood at Asher’s side. “How about you shut up? He’s the one who got us this deal in the first place. You’re being ungrateful!”

  Dusk kicked one of the seats. “Maybe we shouldn’t take the deal if Dawn hates it so much! I can’t remember seeing him this upset.”

  Mage stilled. His jaw clenched so hard the sides of his face were starting to radiate an aching sensation all over his face and neck. “Or maybe he should compromise? No one can always get everything they want. I also want to protect him from all that stress, but at the end of the day, this is about our future.”

  Asher nodded, loosening his shirt collar. “I agree. Dawn is a great guy, and a talented artist, but he’s also part of this group, and at the moment he’s making it all about himself.”

  This time, Dusk swung his fist at him, but didn’t try to follow up when Asher stepped back and the punch didn’t land. “Shut the fuck up! You’re one to talk! You’ve got three mansions, and it’s not like you had to work for them in the first place!”

  Sid growled in warning, like a dog about to step in for their master. “How is this relevant in any way? You’re angry about Dawn’s decision, and the way he’s acting, so don’t take it out on us!”

  Dusk spread his arms so fast he hit one of the cupboards. “I’m angry because my brother is somewhere out there on his own, possibly crying his eyes out over some stupid contract. How much money do we need anyway?”

  Mage spread his arms. “We’re earning enough now, but we can’t build and keep up an audience the way big labels can. There’s far too much money involved in the marketing. They are professionals. Don’t you think they know what they’re doing?”

  Asher shook his head. “I know this might be hard, but you can’t always shelter Dawn.”

  Dusk pushed back his long hair and let out a growl of frustration. “That’s it, Mage. You’re not allowed to date him, because you don’t really care.”

  Mage frowned, even though Dusk’s words seared right through him. “You have no say in who Dawn’s dating. He’s an adult.”

  “He’s an adult who loves you, and you’re making him miserable for the sake of more money and fame! What the fuck, Mage? Who are you even?”

  Mage scowled. “That’s not what this is about. I can’t bend every single time he wants something.”

  “He doesn’t! He usually just goes with whatever you want. Tell me, when’s the last time you’ve seen him confront anyone about anything?”

  Mage watched Dusk’s flushed face with his mouth hanging open, to which Dusk shook his head. “Thought so. If you’re more interested in impressing your snobby family than keeping my brother happy, then you don’t deserve him!”

  Sid rubbed his hand down his face. “Christ, Dusk. That’s a bit below the belt.”

  “It’s true! This is not the last contract we will ever be offered! Sure, I wanna sign it, but if Dawn is so set against it, maybe it’s just not the way to go?”

  Asher sat next to Sid with a scowl. “Dusk, please think it through. This is ridiculous.”

  It took Mage priceless seconds to come up with the lamest of answers. “I don’t want to impress anyone. I just want to be successful.
I want to be free of worrying whether I’ll have money for electricity. Is that really so strange?”

  But the truth was that when he did think of those things, bills and quality food were farther down the list than the appreciation expressed by his parents earlier tonight. For the first time since he’d decided to ditch college in favor of touring with his band, he saw them invested. Was it really such a crime?

  Dusk rolled his eyes. “I’d take that from Sid, who’s actually lived through shit, but not from you. For you, the worst case scenario is having to go back to your comfy suburban home, and if your parents said no to taking you in, you know you’d be welcome at ours, and there would be no bills to pay.”

  Mage’s face heated. “Am I supposed to feel bad that my family’s middle class? Sorry I didn’t have to work in the fields when I was in elementary school!”

  But he barely finished his sentence when Dusk stormed at him, hands aiming for Mage’s throat. Asher and Sid both shouted, and the room turned into a chaotic tangle of kicking limbs. When Sid pulled Dusk back, Dusk managed to grab a toaster and throw it at Mage.

  “I told you this would wreck the band!” Dusk yelled. “You go anywhere near my brother again, and I will fucking kill you!”

  Mage managed to duck and only get hit on the shoulder, but the toaster crashed to the floor and cracked open. Just as he was about to yell back and tell Dusk in no uncertain terms what exactly he thought of his threats, there was a knock on the trailer door.

  Everyone froze, but Dusk was the first to snap out of it and opened the door wide as if he were expecting their coffee delivery.

  But it was Dawn, and Mage felt the floor rocking under his feet.

  Dawn was wearing a hood over his baseball cap, so they could hardly see his face.

  “We’ve been looking all over for you! Are you okay?” Dusk asked.

  Mage walked past him and jumped outside, pulling Dawn into his arms. The tension that had been pulling at his muscles melted away the moment he buried his face in the floppy hood. The argument was all but forgotten.

  “We were so worried. Where did you go?”