The Autobiography of the Dark Prince

by Dan Wingreen

  "I am not a scribe."

  "I don't need a scribe," the Prince said with a sneer. "I need you."

  Despite himself, Elias was curious. "Why?"

  The Prince placed his elbow on the desk and rested the edge of his jaw on his hand; the perfect picture of noble elegance. "I need your insight. You have a very unique way of viewing evil, and I wish to publish a book about the most evil person currently within your kingdom."

  Elias raised an eyebrow. Surely he would have heard of such a person before. Could he be talking about Elias's gnome strangler? Did he maybe have a way of getting him to talk?

  "And who is that?"

  The Dark Prince smiled. "Me."

  —Of course it is.

  "You want me to write a book about you?"

  "Yes." The Prince nodded. "My autobiography to be exact."

  "You do realize autobiographies are generally written by the person that they are about?" And that those subjects are generally a lot further away from their teenage years…

  The Prince stood up straight and waved his hand dismissively. "There is a woeful lack of accurate, reliable information about me outside of Mournhelm itself. Most people I've met since leaving home have had no idea I even existed! I'd very much like to correct this."

  Elias sighed. "So this is a vanity project."

  "Absolutely not. I just want to spread knowledge of myself and my homeland to this side of the Dark and Dangerous Forest." The Dark Prince leaned in again and smiled slowly. "It would, however, be a wonderful opportunity for the person writing said autobiography to get firsthand knowledge about Mournhelm, and my father as well, if that person has little interest in me. Not that I have any doubt you'll end up realizing I am, by far, much more interesting in the end, of course."

  "Of course," Elias said dryly.

  He had to admit, though, as arrogant and annoying as the Dark Prince was, he was offering Elias something he wanted. Badly. Firsthand information about Mournhelm! From someone who was a part of the inner workings of the kingdom and who would have the most intimate knowledge of the Dark King out of anyone besides the Dark King himself, no less. Elias briefly wondered just who the Prince had talked to about him, since he obviously knew this would tempt him. And he was tempted. Very much so, in fact, especially with his book having fallen apart.

  The problem was, that very same source of information was somebody he was quickly coming to realize he couldn't stand being around. The Dark Prince was every bit as intolerable as Elias had originally thought, and then some. And yet he found himself unable to reject him out of hand, despite it being the wiser choice.

  "I need time to make my decision," he said after several long moments of silence.

  The Dark Prince seemed surprised, although Elias couldn't tell if it was because he didn't reject the offer outright or because he didn't eagerly accept.

  "How much time?" he asked.

  "As much as I need," Elias said patiently.

  For a moment, the Dark Prince seemed like he was going to argue. Then, all at once, his features smoothed into an easy smile. "Then, yes. Take all the time you need."

  Elias blinked. Just like that?

  Apparently so.

  "All right." Elias nodded. "How should I inform you of my decision?"

  The Prince waved a hand. "Oh, don't worry about that, I'll be sure to stop by from time to time."

  Elias almost frowned. He wasn't exactly eager to have the Dark Prince showing up sporadically to interrupt whatever he was doing, but he understood that royalty might not be eager for someone who was below even the greenest of knights in rank to just show up at their chambers. It was an idiotic thing to be concerned with, but Elias was used to other people being concerned with idiotic things.

  "Very well, then."

  The Prince nodded, and with a cheery wave and a smile, which, at the last moment before he turned around, looked enough like a smirk that Elias actually did frown, the Prince strolled out of the library.

  When he left, every eye that had followed him out turned almost as one back to Elias. He stared back impassively, then lowered his head and did what he'd been doing his entire life.

  He ignored them.

  Chapter 5

  "Elias! Elias, wait!"

  Elias reluctantly stopped as the voice of the other prince in his life echoed down the hall. He turned to see the Crown Prince sprinting towards him, barely avoiding the few nobles, liveried servants, and the performers of the Royal Dramatical Couriers who were in the hall as well. Elias held back a sigh, both at the lack of decorum shown by the heir to the throne and because entering a conversation with anyone else was the last thing he wanted to do. It had been just over an hour since he'd spoken with the Dark Prince, and now that the Librarian had returned, he had been looking forward to being alone for a few hours.

  "Elias!" The Crown Prince panted as he skidded to a stop seconds before he would have collided with the scholar. "I heard about what happened. Thank the gods you're all right!"

  The Prince reached out to touch him and Elias stepped out of reach.

  "Highness," he said patiently. "To what, exactly, are you referring?"

  The Crown Prince slowly pulled his hand back and examined Elias critically. Apparently not finding anything to go into hysterics about, he took a deep breath. "The Dark Prince!" He hissed. "I heard that he accosted you in the Great Library, in front of witnesses no less! He didn't hurt you, did he? Or threaten you? I'd heard that you were barely alive but you weren't with the healer and when I went to the library the Head Librarian told me you just left and—"

  "I'm fine, Highness." Elias interrupted him. The Gods of Knowledge and Reason curse all gossipmongers. "As you can see."

  The Prince gave him a look that was clearly skeptical. "Are you sure? Maybe he did something to you then wiped the memory from your mind with his magic."

  Elias didn't even bother trying to hold back his sigh this time. "He did no such thing."

  "But he did accost you?"

  "Accost is a strong word," Elias said slowly. Part of him balked at defending the other prince, especially since Elias still considered half of their conversation to be blatant harassment, but a bigger part of him just wanted to avoid giving the Crown Prince an excuse to indulge in childish tantrums. "We just had a conversation."

  "A conversation?" the Prince said, after a moment of hesitation. "What could he possibly want to talk to you about?"

  "Himself, actually."

  The Prince frowned and absently tucked a lock of golden hair behind his ear. "Himself? Did he say anything interesting?" It popped out again as he quickly shook his head. "No, it doesn't matter. Why did he even want to talk to you, though? No offense, Elias, but you don't exactly go out of your way to attract nobles, let alone royalty."

  Why would I be offended by that?

  "I did not attract anyone," Elias said firmly. It may have just been a turn of phrase, but Elias had found that it was best to put a stop to anything the Crown Prince could use to spin a preposterous theory around as soon as it came up. "The Dark Prince simply found amusement in distracting the person sitting behind the Librarian's desk. He was not the first, nor will he be the last."

  "And that's it?" the Prince asked. "You're sure he didn't hurt you? Because I know how you can be, Elias, and…"

  He trailed off when he saw the look Elias was giving him.

  "Ah. Um. Well you know what I mean," he mumbled.

  "I am fine," Elias said, hopefully for the last time.

  The Prince let out a breath. "Okay. Good." He smiled. It was quite a brilliant smile, one that had caused many noble ladies, and a small number of noblemen, to briefly forget the probable doom which would occur when the possessor of that smile assumed the throne. Elias stared back impassively. He was about to open his mouth to bid the Prince farewell, when he was cut off.

  "So, are you going to do whatever the Dark Prince asked you to?" he asked.

  For quite possibly the first time in either
of their lives, the Crown Prince had said something that completely surprised Elias.

  "What?" he asked. "How do you know he asked me something?"

  The Prince cocked his head. "Everyone knows. I'd heard that you refused his request and he…punished you."

  Elias scowled. Why is it that the most ridiculous rumors always have the most annoying grain of truth buried in them?

  "I was not punished," Elias said. His calm, even voice probably didn't match the expression on his face. Absently, he noted that while all the servants had made themselves scarce since this conversation had started, there were a few of the nobles still lingering. Some were even pretending they weren't eavesdropping. Elias briefly considered dragging the Prince into a private room, but that might encourage more conversation. Besides, it wasn't Elias's responsibility to keep the Prince from making a spectacle of himself in public. "All he asked me to do was help him write his autobiography."

  "That's it?" the Prince asked incredulously. When Elias nodded, he let out a small laugh and his whole body seemed to relax. "Gods! I thought it was something horrible! Wait, isn't he younger than we are?"

  "Indeed," Elias said.

  Even the Crown Prince could point out the ridiculousness of the Dark Prince's request.

  Then, the Prince's eyes narrowed slightly. "Elias. Where is he planning on having you help him? The library?"

  Elias started to answer, but then very quickly realized that he'd never actually given it any thought. And it was a very good question, he realized with more than a hint of surprise, given the source. Considering the way everyone insisted on reacting to the very presence of the other prince, it didn't seem like they would actually get much work done in the library. Even if Elias thought the Dark Prince would keep his voice down.

  "Probably not," Elias said a moment later.

  "I knew it!" The Prince exploded. "You'd have to be alone with him! Elias, you can't be alone with him! He's evil incarnate!"

  Privately, Elias doubted that, but he kept silent because he very much did not want to get into a philosophical debate with the Crown Prince.

  "You can't do this, Elias." The Prince drew himself up. "I forbid you to help him."

  It said much about the future of the kingdom that Elias's automatic reaction to a direct order from his prince was to force himself not to laugh.

  His second, much more useful reaction was to realize the Prince had raised a very good point. Elias had already been reluctant to spend any amount of time with the Dark Prince when he'd been picturing them together in the library. The fact that he'd have to be alone with him, possibly even in the Dark Prince's own rooms, was too much for any temptation to overcome.

  "Then it's a good thing that I've already decided not to."

  The Prince looked stunned; no doubt he expected a long argument, before he burst into another brilliant smile.

  "Perfect!" This time, Elias couldn't back away before the Prince clapped Elias on the shoulder. It was a minor miracle he ended up keeping his balance. "Then when my father summons you after dinner tonight and makes it a personal request, you'll have no trouble refusing him!"

  Elias froze.

  "What?"

  * * * *

  Not ten minutes after he left his audience with the King, Elias was stalking down the corridor in the guest wing of the castle, the hem of his robes following in his wake like a swarm of silent, angry wasps. He quickly found the door he was looking for and raised his fist, but even the small satisfaction of pounding on the elegantly carved oaken door was taken from him as it opened before he could even make the slightest noise.

  The Dark Prince stood in the doorway, his court robes discarded and wearing only his tunic and breeches. He smirked at Elias.

  He doesn't even have the decency to greet me fully dressed.

  Elias forced his jaw to unclench. "You went to the King?" He snapped before the Prince could even open his mouth.

  And since he wasn't even going to stand on the smallest bit of propriety, Elias saw no reason to either. He moved forward to push past the Prince and enter his private rooms, but that too was thwarted as the Prince just moved gracefully out of the way and gestured for him to come inside.

  "Why, hello, Elias, it's so nice to see you, too. Won't you please come in?" he said as he closed the door.

  Elias scowled at the flippant tone, but refused to rise to the bait. "You went to the King?" he said again. "You had the King ask me to come to you as a personal favor?"

  The Dark Prince raised an eyebrow, his face the perfect picture of royal innocence. "What? Isn't a guest allowed to ask a favor from his host? And, since I'm the personal guest of your king, is it not his duty to see that the reasonable requests are accommodated? Asking for the best scholar in the kingdom to help me write a book is the very definition of reasonable, wouldn't you say?"

  "You were never going to let me decide. Were you?" Elias asked flatly.

  The Prince didn't even try to look apologetic. "You might have said no."

  "I was going to!"

  The Prince spread his hands. "And now you don't have to. Although, with the way it's said that you treat the Crown Prince, it's hard to believe you'd meekly agree to a favor that you didn't at least somewhat want to perform, even if it was a favor for the King."

  "I can't—" Elias clamped his jaw shut. He refused to throw a tantrum in front of this stuck-up, spoiled prince.

  He also completely ignored the second part of what the Prince said. Elias's relationship with, and obligations to, the royal family were none of his business.

  "It's always good to know your limitations," the Prince said with another smirk.

  Elias felt his self-control snap. He spared a brief moment to wonder why the Prince got under his skin so easily, and then he stormed over to him and stopped just before they would have collided. He glared up at him over the top of his glasses.

  "Don't speak to me of limitations like you know me well enough to have any idea what mine are. This isn't about my limitations. This is about you taking the choice out of my hands of whether to help you or not. I am not a slave to be ordered around by some foreign princeling who can't stand the fact that there's somebody who isn't terrified of him."

  The Prince's eyes narrowed and, once again, they darkened until they were almost purple. So that wasn't a trick of the light, Elias thought, before he remembered he didn't really care.

  "So, you're really upset because I injured your pride."

  "I'm upset because you insist on inflicting yourself upon me when I have done everything short of coming at you with a dagger to show you that I want nothing to do with you."

  "I am a Dark Prince, Elias," he said, leaning forward. "What makes you think I at all care about what you want?"

  "I never did," Elias said, refusing to so much as flinch at his proximity. "But I did think you were smart enough to not want to force someone who wants nothing to do with you to spend all his free time with you. Apparently, I was wrong."

  "Insulting my intelligence now, Elias?" the Dark Prince said, his voice low. "Have we reached schoolyard invectives already?"

  "That will make an excellent introductory chapter for your book." Elias went on, ignoring him. "'How Dark Princes Let Their Egos Stand in the Way of Common Sense.'"

  "So you plan to vandalize my biography? After you agreed to a personal request from your king to help me write it? Is this what passes for honor in the White Kingdom of Ellington?"

  "'Along with being insufferable, Dark Princes also tend to use words regardless of whether or not they have any actual concept of the meaning.' Yes I think this book is coming along nicely." Elias made a show of looking around the lavish but tasteful guest rooms. "Where are the paper and inkwells? I have a mental outline of the first three chapters and I'd like to get started as soon as possible."

  "I didn't think you to be this childish."

  "He says without a trace of irony or self-awareness."

  They glared at each other then, for a l
ong moment that seemed to stretch on and on until Elias was steeling himself for it to snap. Part of him wanted it to snap. Elias was furious with the Dark Prince. Without even trying, he'd stolen the one thing Elias valued more than anything else in his life—his freedom to choose how he wished to spend his time.

  "I think," the Prince said slowly, "you're angry with me."

  "Then for the first time we agree on something."

  "Yes," the Prince said thoughtfully. His eyes slipped back to their normal dark blue. "How strange. I actually find myself enjoying the feeling."

  Elias narrowed his eyes. What is he going on about now?

  "I think we should postpone starting on the book, for tonight." The Dark Prince continued. "Neither one of us are in the proper frame of mind for a literary undertaking."

  Surprise flickered across Elias's face for a moment before he schooled his expression. It wasn't an apology or even admission of wrongdoing, but he was getting to leave. And that was even better.

  "Yet another thing we agree on. Goodnight, Highness."

  Before he could turn to leave, however, the Prince spoke again.

  "Oh, you aren't leaving yet," he said, a slow smile spreading across his face. "I said that we shouldn't start my biography, not that I wanted you to go."

  Elias glared. "What else could you possibly want from me? Unless you wish for us to scream at each other until we collapse from exhaustion?"

  The Prince's smile turned positively predatory. "Oh, Elias, you don't know how close to the mark you are." He leaned in even closer, and it was only then that Elias realized just how little space there was between them. "Do you have any idea how attractive you are when you're absolutely furious with me?"

  Elias blinked. Surely he must have heard that wrong. "Excuse me?"

  "That's not to say you aren't passably good-looking at any time, of course. But when you actually let go of that rigid control, you are truly magnificent." The Prince moved in even further and whispered in Elias's ear. "I think it's the way your cheeks flush with fury. It makes you irresistible."

  Elias quickly backed up several steps. "You cannot be serious," he said, incredulous.