Adventurous Love

by Lea Coll

  “Wow. That’s great. I’m really happy Elle moved here, becoming part of the community, and finding Gray.” The longing on her face was acute.

  She might not have admitted it to herself, but I bet she wanted something similar. Most people did, eventually.

  “I’m really happy she found her people here.”

  “What do you mean?” I croaked out the question.

  “Both of our families weren’t there for us but she’s found people here who support her—a makeshift family—a support system if you will.”

  “Yeah, I guess so. You want that for yourself?”

  “Oh, you know… I stopped wishing for things like that years ago.”

  “That’s sad.” Normally I would admire her for being strong, for picking herself up and moving on, but something in my chest was throbbing and aching for the little girl Kelsey was, and the lonely woman she’d turned into. I wanted to mend her heart one stitch at a time, opening her eyes to something different. I wanted to tell her she could trust me, but I didn’t trust myself to do the right thing by her.

  This was why I didn’t get involved with women. When I let myself feel—I let them in—I wanted more. And I’d never met anyone like Kelsey before. She’d bowled into my life, knocking down my walls faster than I could throw them back up, making me want something different than I’d resigned myself to over the years.

  “I guess. When I was younger, I wanted more, thought I’d get it, but it didn’t work out like that. This way is better.”

  “You’re protecting yourself.”

  “Yeah. It’s necessary. I was too much heart before. It was too easy to hurt me.” Her face hardened and I could see how she’d had to do that to live.

  “I hate that for you.”

  “You’re not the one who’s going to change my mind, make me see that something different is possible.” The truth rang out between us.

  “That’s true.” But I wished I was that guy. “Whoever that is will be a lucky bastard.”

  Her expression was tinged with longing. “I wish things could be different.”

  “We can’t change our circumstances, our geographical limitations, or how we feel.”

  She bit her lip. “You don’t see yourself changing for anyone, do you?”

  I reminded myself of the rules I’d made after my other breakups, ignoring the confusing emotions I’d felt this week with Kelsey. “No.”

  “That’s too bad. I think you’d make a great boyfriend—even a husband one day.” Her lips tipped into a smile. She was teasing me.

  “That’s the eternal romantic in you. You’ve pushed her down, learned to accept less for yourself, but at your core, you’re still that same girl…”

  “The one who thought she could have everything.” She smiled, her eyes bright, her expression sweet.

  I leaned over, brushing her hair back from her face. Her breath stalled. “Henry.”

  “You can have anything you want. Never forget that. Never settle for less.” Even me.

  I waited until she said, “Okay,” before I leaned over, kissing her lips softly. A sensation of rightness washed over me. What would it be like if Kelsey lived here? Would I give her a chance then? Would we have the family—the kids I thought I’d have in college? I kept my kisses light, sampling her, tasting hot chocolate on her lips. I leaned in trying to feel her body against mine, but the wooden arm of the chair jabbed into my ribs, reminding me there was a reason I needed to stay removed from Kelsey.

  I pulled back slightly, a hand still cupping her jaw. “You taste like chocolate.”

  Her lips were pink, her eyes were filled—not with desire but affection. “Yeah, I grabbed some hot chocolate before Elle dropped me off.”

  “I should offer something like that here, along with snacks. Maybe pastries from the bakery in the afternoon like you suggested.”

  “That would be a nice treat for the guests. Little touches like that keep people coming back.”

  I held her hand, resting it on my thigh. We fell silent, enjoying the view and each other. If we were together, she’d always be here, supporting me, helping me with the business. She’d be a partner in my life. For the first time in years, I let myself remember what it was like to hope for something else for my future. Someone by my side, someone to share my day with. I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it because it was too painful to realize I wouldn’t have what my parents had. I was too chicken to try again.

  “You’re going to be just fine, Henry.”

  I looked over at her, desperate for her answer. “Me or the lodge?”

  “Both.”

  I still had worries about the future. I didn’t think I was going to be fine—not anymore—not since Kelsey dropped into my life, making me wish for something else. “I hope you’re right.”

  “You’re a good man. If you put your heart and soul into this place, your guests will see that. You’ll get good reviews and people will come back.”

  “Yeah, but it’s your support, your touches that are having an effect.” I’d already noticed an uptick in online reservations after her push to do more with the lodge.

  “You would have done it eventually.”

  “I don’t know. I’m pretty set in my ways.”

  She smiled. “Yeah, some people need a bit more time to realize what’s right in front of them—the solution to all of their problems.”

  In that moment, it was like there was this light behind Kelsey illuminating her from the inside out. Was she the solution to everything? My solitary existence, the future, the lodge? Was letting her walk away next week a bigger mistake than thinking I could make something work with Selena when we were barely more than teenagers or thinking I could ask Vanessa for more when we lived so far apart?

  The questions kept rolling one after the other, how could we make it work, especially when I knew how impossible long-distance relationships were? Would we even be compatible when she wasn’t on vacation? Maybe this only worked when one of us was out of our element. Would she be happy living here full time?

  “You’re thinking too hard. Let’s just enjoy the rest of the week.”

  “Yeah, good plan.” My voice was gruff, covering the emotion in my throat at the thought of sitting here next week in this same spot alone.

  Chapter 18

  Henry

  * * *

  Kelsey spent Wednesday with Elle going over the seating chart, location of the tables and chairs, the final arrangements of the flowers, and the wedding festivity schedule. The weekdays were filled with website updates, wedding preparations, meetings with the caterer, the florist, the cake person, and working with Kelsey on the best configuration of the tables and chairs for the reception. The evenings we spent on the back porch or on my deck, discussing our day, bouncing ideas off each other. It was relaxing. A feeling of rightness, of contentment, had taken up residence in my chest. I tried not to think about what would happen after the wedding.

  On Friday, we cleared the large family room of furniture then set it up for the wedding ceremony. After the ceremony, while the wedding party had their pictures taken, a crew of people would work to transform the room into the reception area.

  For now, the rustic wood chairs for the wedding were stacked in the family room off to the side.

  We stood considering the space.

  “If I do this, I could keep items like silverware, tables, and chairs on the property. I have space in the barns. If the bride wants something different, she can have it delivered for an extra cost. Some might want the convenience of using what’s already here.”

  Kelsey cocked her head to the side. “Have you decided you’ll offer weddings?”

  “If the bridal party rents out the whole lodge for wedding guests, I don’t see a downside.”

  “When you hire a manager, you might want to make sure she or he has event planning experience too. You could organize the wedding for the bride before she comes. Offer a few standard options, and then have a list of vend
ors you work with for anything else they might want.”

  The idea of asking her to be the manager floated around in my head. She’d probably want more money than I could offer. Plus, it would mean she’d stay. I wasn’t sure if that was something I wanted. “It’s an idea. We’ll see how this one goes. I just—”

  She smiled knowingly. “It’s not what you envisioned when you planned the lodge, but sometimes you have to take side roads to get where you’re going.”

  “I like that analogy.”

  “I know the adventure tour part of the business is where your heart lies but I think you’ll get there. You’ll be able to offer both eventually.”

  “Glad I caught you two at the same time.”

  We turned to find Gray approaching us.

  “I wanted to check on how are things looking for Saturday,” Gray said.

  “Great. We have the tables, chairs, linens, and silverware. The flowers and the cake will be delivered tomorrow,” I said.

  Gray tipped his head toward Kelsey. “Thanks for helping. Elle says you’re a natural event planner.”

  “Oh, I don’t know about that. Elle already had everything set up for me. I’m just making sure things are delivered on time.”

  “Still, I can’t thank you enough.”

  “You’re welcome.” Even though the week had been stressful, it had been fun too. It had been a test to see how Kelsey and I worked together. So far, she’d been cool and calm under pressure, quick to jump in and help with lifting something or ideas for placement of tables.

  Thankfully, the rehearsal dinner was at a restaurant in town, so that would give us a break tonight.

  I liked to bounce ideas off Gray since he was an investor. “Kelsey mentioned offering small things like breakfast pastries or cookies from the bakery and coffee or hot chocolate. That way guests wouldn’t have to leave if they want a drink or snack.”

  “That’s a great idea,” Gray said appraisingly.

  His approval felt good. I’d never worked in marketing or planned a business before, so it was good to have positive feedback.

  “I’m throwing around the idea of offering weddings as an option for guests.”

  Kelsey jumped in to offer support. “He could permanently store items on-site like chairs, tables, and silverware. Then Henry would charge a fixed amount for wedding packages. He’d enlist local vendors for flowers and the cake.”

  Gray nodded as he listened.

  “Do you think we could post your wedding pictures on the website to advertise the options? To give guests an idea of what they can expect? I know it’s a lot to ask but we wouldn’t use your names. We could even use photographs where you aren’t facing the camera.” Kelsey spoke fast.

  Irritation shot through me that Kelsey asked him directly when I’d already shot down this idea. It was my business. Gray was my investor.

  I placed my hand on Gray’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about it. I wouldn’t have even asked.

  Gray rubbed his chin. “I’d have to talk to Elle about it.”

  The lodge’s phone rang.

  “I’ll get it while you two talk,” Kelsey offered, already walking over to the reception area.

  “Kelsey has all of these ideas for the website and lodge.” It was overwhelming sometimes and irritating that she’d pursued this option when I’d said no.

  Gray shot me a knowing look. “Sounds like she’s good for you.”

  “Yeah, about that…” I hadn’t discussed talking to Gray about it with Kelsey, but Elle had already guessed. By default, Gray probably knew as well. He’d get upset if I didn’t talk to him too.

  “You guys seeing each other?”

  I winced. Labeling the relationship was giving it more weight than it had. I wasn’t even sure what we were—a fling? “I wouldn’t call it that.”

  Gray crossed his arms over his chest. “You are being your usual self?”

  Something about his assessment prickled down my neck, making me uneasy. “Not exactly.”

  Gray glanced at Kelsey who was still talking on the phone then stepped closer to me, lowering his voice, “Listen. Kelsey’s different. She’s a friend. I want her to feel comfortable visiting. Elle has this idea in her head that you guys are going to date. That Kelsey’s going to move here.”

  I shook my head. “We only just met. Even if I was interested in a relationship, we’d have to try it long-distance to see if it worked before someone quit their job and moved across the country.”

  Even the idea of a long-distance relationship settled like bricks in my stomach. No. I couldn’t—I wouldn’t do that again.

  “When you’re in love, you’ll be willing to consider all of the options.” Gray gave me a knowing look.

  I raised a brow. “And what are those?”

  “Hiring a manager to run the lodge or selling this place so you can move to New York.”

  The air whooshed out of my lungs. “No. That’s not— that’s definitely not an option.”

  I’d never consider leaving my family’s home, not when they needed me to figure out a way to keep the ranch profitable, a way to keep the land.

  “That’s how you’ll know when you’ve met the right person. When you can see yourself giving up some of your dreams to make the other person happy.”

  What he was saying wasn’t computing. “No one should have to give up anything.”

  “You’ll want to because being together will become more important than the other stuff.”

  The thought of long-distance was killing me but for a different reason. “Right now, I can’t imagine feeling like that about anyone.”

  I looked past Gray to where Kelsey stood at the counter talking animatedly with someone, probably a guest booking a room. Her hair down her back in soft waves, her lips curved into a smile. I heard her say, “You’ll absolutely love it here.”

  “She’s a natural,” Gray observed.

  “She’s great. She’s helping me with the website, the wedding, and we’ve talked about adding adventure tours.”

  “She could be your manager.”

  Turning back to Gray, I said, “Even if I was considering that, and I’m not, I can’t afford her. She works on the exchange.”

  “She’s looking for a change, she just doesn’t know it yet.”

  “How do you know that?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  Gray lowered his voice, glancing over at Kelsey every so often to make sure she wasn’t paying attention to our conversation. “I know a bit about her backstory. Her parents were similar to Elle’s but in some ways, they were worse. She was expected to get up for school and feed herself. She learned at a young age, she was on her own. They’ve always thought she didn’t need guidance. So, Kelsey’s independent but she’s also very much alone. She reminds me of Elle when she first moved here. The only difference is Elle knew she needed to make a change. Kelsey still thinks New York is the place for her.”

  “What happened in high school? The girls were talking about some party in high school when we went out to eat.” I’d forgotten it as well until Gray mentioned her family.

  “What are you talking about? The party?”

  I nodded.

  “I have no idea. If you think there’s something to it, you could ask her.”

  “I could.” But each question brought us closer together, more intimate. We’d start to need, expect each other in our lives. We’d be more than a fling.

  “Enjoy the rest of this week. See where it goes. Just don’t fuck it up. She’s not some tourist here for a few days,” Gray’s voice was hard.

  “I know. That’s why I tried to stay away from her.”

  “Elle’s emotional right now. She wants friends and family around. Her family’s shit, so she needs her friends. She needs Kelsey. Those two bonded as kids and it goes deep despite the fact they lost touch for a while. Don’t come between them.”

  Kelsey hung up the phone, tapping out something on the computer before walking back to us. A smile on h
er face. “Another reservation. I think the updates to the website are helping.” Her brows furrowed as if she sensed the tension. “What did I miss?”

  “Nothing. Just wedding talk.” I kept my voice steady to cover the turmoil in my gut. Gray’s warning was received. When Kelsey and I parted, it would have to be on good terms with no hard feelings. I wanted to enjoy the next few days, forgetting about Gray’s warning, the consequences, the inevitable parting of ways, all of it.

  Gray lowered his arms, stepping back from us. “I have to get back to work. I’ll tell Elle things are in good hands, but she might drop by to see for herself.”

  “Consider us warned,” Kelsey said with a smile.

  When Gray walked away, her bright smile faltered. “Why do I get the impression you weren’t talking about the wedding?”

  “Not the whole time. I told him about you, which he knew already.”

  Her expression was pensive. “Elle.”

  “Yeah.”

  “What did he say?”

  “Not to ruin things between you and Elle.”

  “That’s not going to happen.” But she looked worried.

  Feelings would have to be involved for that. We weren’t falling for each other—we were enjoying each other. There was a huge difference.

  “We won’t let that happen.”

  “I agree.” We were adults. We knew the plan. We had a few more days then we’d go back to our old lives. She might call or I’d email with updates about the lodge. She’d offer advice for improvements. We’d be friends because of Elle and Gray. Otherwise, it would be like nothing happened.

  The ache in my heart from never being with her again would go away over time.

  Chapter 19

  Kelsey

  * * *

  “Where’s the restaurant again?” I opened the door for Henry then rushed back to the bathroom to finish swiping on my mascara. I looked in the mirror checking the smoky eye I’d applied, adjusting the bodice of my emerald green dress.