Changed

by Jean Booth

  “Thousands.”

  “Pertaining strictly to the subject of vampires?” He smiled.

  “Okay, let me get this straight. Natural vampires are really just normal Atlanteans that have to drink human blood instead of food, because they’re not Changers or part of the Elementals, and created vampires are more like the vampires in the storybooks.” He nodded. “So, even though you don’t have to, can you eat food?”

  “No. Our stomachs rebel at any foreign material other than blood.”

  “That sucks. I’d be miserable without a pizza or chocolate.”

  He smiled wistfully at me. “I do occasionally miss the taste of food. Strawberry tarts, the sweet nectar of a durian, chocolate. Perhaps when Atlantis rises and I’m able to return to my homeland, I’ll be able to eat food again.” He couldn’t completely hide the hope in his voice. No matter how angry he was with Raif, I knew then that he was glad the prophecy was being fulfilled.

  “Created vampires have to have a trace of the Atlantean bloodline coursing through their veins, right?” He nodded. “How can you tell? I mean, you knew I was different when you met me, but I don’t understand how you knew.”

  “That’s a difficult question to answer. When you meet the other clans, you’ll understand for yourself. The vague answer is that a human feels different from someone with Atlantean blood. As a human, you had an undefined sense of power that radiated off you. Had you remained human, you wouldn’t have shown your age until almost near death. Had you led an uneventful life and died naturally, you would’ve easily lived past one hundred years.

  “With humans, you can feel their limitations. It’s easier to feel when drinking their blood. They taste weak, bland. The vitality of life is diminished. You can almost smell them dying, feel it as they rub against you. It’s difficult to truly explain to someone. It’s something you’re going to have to understand for yourself. Do I feel different to you than your family back home?”

  “Shouldn’t they feel like me? If we’re related, certainly they have trace amounts of the Atlantean bloodline in them as well, right?” It was the hope I was holding onto since he’d started this conversation, and I was afraid to hear the answer. I couldn’t watch Ashlyn die.

  “Usually only one member of a family holds the genes of an Atlantean.” He explained gently, understanding my pain. “It is highly unlikely that any other living member of your family is like you. Perhaps you’ve heard stories of an older relative who either went mad or lived in seclusion for many years, dying at an old age, alone? That person would’ve most likely held the genetic makeup you hold.”

  I thought about the little I knew of my family. I couldn’t think of anyone that fit his description, but that wasn’t altogether surprising. “My parents died when Katie and I were young. They weren’t close to their families, and I wasn’t interested in knowing at that time, I explained absentmindedly.

  “Unless discovered and made into a created vampire, the human with our genetic code is usually unable to cope with the abilities they hold. They’re confused, bombarded with stimuli that they’re unsure of how to filter properly, and tend to exhibit signs of lunacy. Typically, they end their tormented lives within a few years of developing their natural talent. It’s one of the reasons we search out the few that have potential and guide or transform them, if they choose, as best as we’re able.”

  “I’m glad I was found.” The thought of going crazy from my Dream-Walking or becoming trapped in the Void for eternity wasn’t a prospect I found exciting.

  “How did your family feel to you, when you returned to them?” he asked, again.

  I closed my eyes and thought about Katie over the last three months. I refused to think about Ashlyn; I didn’t want to cry. I still held some bitterness toward Katie that enabled me to think of her without breaking down. I tried to remember things I thought of when I smelled her, when I was close to her.

  I remembered a sense of her diminished capacity, but it was so much more than that. Her body held a sense of urgency deep in its cells. I heard them scurrying about, racing to complete their tasks as if they, too, felt the limited time a human body possessed. Her heart thundered in her chest, racing to completion before time ran out. She constantly had a faint odor of decay radiating from her. It would never have been scented by another human. I certainly never smelled it until I changed, and even then, it was faint. It struck me that humans may subliminally know of it. Maybe that’s why they bathe so frequently and use so many scented products.

  Katie had a sense of lightness to her that Stephan did not. I remembered noting that, more than anything else. Stephan and Victoria had an atmosphere of heaviness to them that humans lacked. I started thinking how Stephan felt to me, not emotionally, but metaphysically.

  He was still and calm. I wasn’t certain yet if it was just his personality, or if it was because he was an ancient Atlantean vampire. His pulse was slower, beating once to every five human beats. He’d always felt more lethargic to me than what I was used to. It wasn’t the lethargy humans are used to; it was like he didn’t have the same sense of urgency most humans have. He was calm and patient, as if he understood that he really did have all the time in the world to simply exist. He held a heavy weight on his shoulders, as though the years of his eternal existence pressed him down, keeping him rooted in the chaos of humanity. He was the eye of the hurricane.

  My eyes flew open in surprise at my discovery. I was staring at the back entrance to the Krypt Keeper. Our time was almost up. We’d have to return to the real world where he was a leader and a businessman.

  “I think I understand what you mean.” My voice was quiet. I was still thinking over everything I’d learned. I wanted to know more, wanted to spend more time talking about everything, but I was painfully aware that I’d already taken up so much of his time.

  “Out with it already,” he said. I glanced up at him but didn’t respond. My hands were twisting together in my lap, just as my mind was wrestling with what to say. “What’s bothering you, miña mascota?” I blushed, unable to meet his eyes.

  “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do now. I know you said you’ll teach me everything, but you’re also a very busy person…vampire…whatever. You’re the leader of a kiss and own your own business. Now you have to babysit me. I’m not used to feeling helpless and needy, and I don’t particularly like it. I appreciate you putting me up and helping me with everything, but I think I should find my own place, get a job, and continue to live my life. We can make appointments to train, like class. I just don’t want to be a burden.” I finished with a shrug and looked out the window, still not wanting to meet his eyes.

  “Natasha.” He spoke so softly and with such compassion I felt like I could have cried. If I’d had tears to shed, one would have certainly been sneaking down my cheek with the intensity of my shame. I silently thanked whoever was listening that I couldn’t cry. I felt his fingers on my chin. They were rough, calloused, yet surprisingly gentle. He turned my face to look at him.

  “Mascota, you are not, and never will be, a burden to me. I am honored beyond measure that you sought me out for guidance. You have shown more strength, courage, and compassion than any person I’ve ever met. I know what this is costing you. You’ve lost everything.” He paused, his voice cracking. “I’m a poor substitute for your house, your history, your family. The life you’ll never have again. Whatever I’m able to do for you after all you’ve done for us, know that it is my honor and privilege to do so. You, miña mascota, are not a burden.” He was unyielding.

  I was grateful yet again that I was unable to cry. I’d never looked at my situation in that way before. Never really thought about what I was giving up to be Raif’s mate, to have this life. I bit my lower lip to keep it from trembling. That was what I really hated. I looked ridiculous crying without tears. Stephan’s eyes darted to my lips, dilating slightly. I only noticed because he still held my chin gently in his hand. We were inches from one another. I could feel a
different kind of tension brewing, and I refused to acknowledge it.

  “What does that mean? Miña mascota? You call me that quite often.” It was his turn to blush, just a faint hue, but on his pale skin, it was adorable.

  “Little kitten,” he whispered. His eyes were swirling with unspoken emotions. His hand moved from my chin to sweep the hair away from my cheek.

  “That’s cute,” I replied as I pulled away, hating what I was feeling, hating even more that I melted at his name for me. “What do we do now?”

  If he truly understood the depth of that question, he wouldn’t have answered. Hell, I didn’t even know if I wanted an answer to it. How was I having feelings for a man when I deeply loved, and was mated to, another?

  “I have to check on a few things, and you are welcome to have fun. I ask that you stay in the club, though. Stay in your room or in the bar until you get more training and a better handle on your abilities. You’re safe here; outside these walls I cannot guarantee that. If you would like to explore Miami, I ask that you be escorted by either myself or Victoria.” I scrunched up my nose in disgust at being babysat. I didn’t really care for his options but was trying to understand his concern.

  “I think I’ll check out your club. I had fun here last time.” With that, we left our first day of training and returned to reality, or a strange version of it at least.

  Much of the next week was spent the same way. We’d get up in the late afternoon; Stephan would drink his blood; I’d eat more food than any one person should ever eat, and we’d head out to the house in the Everglades. We alternated on the blood situation. If we had a long night and I had to hunt, I’d open a vein in a glass for Stephan, which had become less disgusting as the week went on. If the plan was to play and help me get comfortable in a form that was new to me, he’d drink blood from his thermos. I laughed every time he drank from it, making a mental note to get him new ones that had cartoon characters on them.

  I learned quite a bit that week about changing and hunting and was rather proud of my accomplishments. I was no longer separated from my beast. We were comfortably united. Changing was easy, no longer the painful experience of three months ago.

  During our more strenuous days, the ones where I hunted and opened a vein, we spent time trying out new things. Every night, we’d change forms; some nights, we’d try as many as four different cats. Those were the rough nights. We’d not only change shape, but he’d make me learn the animal, understand its strengths and weaknesses. We always started the night out as panthers. I’d wondered about that and asked Stephan on our fourth night out. He blushed.

  “I like the panther.” He stopped, looking mildly uncomfortable. He never made me wait too long, just long enough to get irritated. I think he was trying to rid me of my human tendencies of instant gratification and learn some Atlantean patience. If that was the case, it was going to take all his Atlantean patience to teach it to me. “The panther is the form I’m most comfortable in, other than human. In time, you’ll notice that you also have a favored shape. All Changers do. Even if they’re able to take on multiple forms, Changers tend to pick one that means something to them, one that matches the core of their character. Changing is our basest of instincts manifesting into animal form.”

  I smiled, loving that explanation. I thought back to when I first started changing and how my body chose different cats to suit its purpose—the lion to protect Ashlyn, cheetah for running, and the leopard for its playfulness. Each cat had a different purpose at its core.

  The panther was a nighttime predator. Its pelt was perfect for concealing itself in the forest. It was also very tuned into family and play. I was slightly surprised at this being Stephan’s choice. I’d have thought he would be more like Raif—exotic, endangered, and mysterious, like his black leopard. I never would’ve imagined Stephan as a family-centered vampire.

  After we ran and played for a while as panthers, he would stop and change into something else. Like he had warned me when we started training, changing multiple times a night was exhausting. He would pick another feline for me to copy, one that I already had some knowledge of, and we’d spend the remainder of the night hunting, playing, and getting comfortable in the new body. If I hadn’t gotten tired, or if I learned the cat quickly, we’d move onto another. We’d exhausted all the cat creatures I could think of, and I started to wonder when he’d try something else.

  We’d been training for exactly a week. It was the night of the full moon, and we both had more energy than normal. I was giddy, laughter bubbling up for no reason. I could feel the currents flowing both through and around my body.

  “What are we going to do tonight?” I asked as I danced around the clearing. Stephan smiled. The energy emanating from him was different tonight. “Why do you feel so human?” I asked, unwilling to focus on any one thing.

  “It’s the moon,” he explained. “On nights of the full moon, we become more vibrant. Changers feel the energy more than the other clans. The younger, more untrained, feel the pull so strongly that they have to change on nights of the full moon.”

  I smiled, throwing my arms out, truly enjoying the night. There were currents of energy that I was starting to recognize as we trained—currents that I’d once ignored as unimportant or superstition. Now, they hummed through the earth. The very air tingled against my skin, making me giddy and alert.

  “Occasionally, when the moon is closer to the earth—like it will be next month during the red Hunter’s Moon—Atlanteans become moon-drunk.” He smiled at that. “Lunar eclipses, blue moons, and even the gentle ebb and flow of the natural lunar cycle affects our cellular makeup. While she has no bearing on our ability to change shape, she does hold sway over the energy in our bodies.”

  “That makes sense. Even humans feel it to an extent.” I lifted my head to the sky, closing my eyes to fully enjoy the undercurrents of energy I could feel.

  “We become alive with the waxing moon, full of life while she glows full and bright. When she wanes, we become more subdued until the renewal of the new moon, when we start all over again.” I hadn’t seen him moving closer to me as he spoke. His voice was a whisper against my cheek. “There are subtle changes only another Atlantean would recognize. Having descended from a water deity, our bodies react stronger to the pull of the moon’s rays than any other creature. You must learn and adapt to these changes, the desires the moon brings. Can you feel the pull?”

  I definitely felt it. Every cell in my body sang with need. It was frustrating and exciting at the same time. I grinned at Stephan, and he winked at me before he ran. Five steps in, he leapt midstride and transformed into a sleek black panther, landing gracefully on all four paws. I laughed. He turned his head, swishing his tail in impatience for me to hurry. He wanted to play.

  I wasn’t sure if I was quite at that level of changing, but I had to try. Holding onto the image of the form I wanted, I started forward. I took a running leap and changed in midair, body rearranging and molding to fit the image I held, feeling the air currents tickling parts of my body that had never felt a breeze before. I finished just as the ground rose up to meet me.

  I didn’t land on all four paws gracefully like Stephan. I landed on my front paws, muzzle instinctively tucking under as my back paws flew over my head. Somersaulting in the grass, I finally landed in a heap next to Stephan as his cat made a rough coughing sound, laughing at me. I lay sprawled on my back like a beetle, my tail crimped uncomfortably beneath me.

  I laughed with him, my barking cough sounding strange in the clearing. I rolled off my tail and onto my belly to look at him properly. Despite the embarrassing landing, I was thrilled that I’d managed to change into this new creature. Stephan had encouraged me to try, certain that I’d be able to, but with us concentrating exclusively on feline creatures, I hadn’t believed him. This body was smaller than I was used to, more compact. The sensory input was different, too. Instead of relying on whiskers and scent, I was relying on sound and scent. Stephan
head-butted me, asking if I was okay.

  I nodded my wolf’s head as I stood up and began to prance around to get used to the smaller creature. I swished my bushy tail and leapt on Stephan. It was a scene for a fairytale, or at least a very bad joke. The panther and the wolf go into a bar… I inwardly laughed at my own poor joke as I tried to knock him over. He was harder to knock down with my smaller weight, but I caught him off guard, and he was chuckling, distracted and amused by my surprising shape.

  We tumbled around the clearing for a bit, rolling and nipping at each other. This was the best way to learn the abilities and limitations of an animal—to play and fight with someone I trusted so I’d know how the body would react in life or death situations. We both knew we weren’t trying to kill one another; it was just play. He was gearing up for another pounce when I bolted.

  I ran as fast as my legs would carry me, daring a glance back to see if Stephan was following. He was right on my tail. I let out a little yip of surprise and bolted into the underbrush of the forest. Zigzagging my way around the woods, running in circles and back again, I finally lost him. I ran a bit farther, diving into a thicket of palmettos to wait for him to find me. Chest heaving with exertion, my tongue lolled out the corner of my mouth.

  Keeping my ears alert to his approach, I waited. Minutes ticked by and still no Stephan. I knew I wasn’t that good. I couldn’t have completely lost him. I waited a bit longer, convinced that he was trying to trick me out of hiding and back into the chase. I didn’t want to play anymore. I wanted him to find me so we could hunt and go back to the club. I was too full of energy to play as an animal. I itched for something else, something that was more complex than the simple needs of my animal nature. I wanted to play as a person, with another person. I wanted Raif and the things only he could do to me. Since I couldn’t have that, I wanted to dance and feel someone else’s sweat on me.