“So…jealous much?” he asked.
I smacked his shoulder.
The rest of the morning went the same way it usually did. I perched on a chair by Callen’s side as he did his scenes, running to get him anything he needed and making small talk with crew members.
When lunchtime came, I excused myself to take a phone call from Shayla. We hadn’t talked in a few days, and the last time had been when I had just agreed to move into the mansion. It felt like a lifetime ago.
“Hey, girl. Where have you been?” Shayla asked.
“Well, I went to Las Vegas for a couple days.”
“Sin City? What were you doing there?”
“Callen snuck away from me for a wild weekend, but I followed.”
“Did you drag him back kicking and screaming?” she asked with a chuckle.
“Actually…” I hesitated. I knew that we had agreed not to tell anyone about our marriage, but Shayla was my best friend. I knew I could trust her to keep a secret. “Things didn’t go exactly according to plan and…I married him,” I blurted out.
There was a silence in the other line. I thought the call might have dropped. When Shayla spoke, it sounded like she was choosing her words carefully.
“You married Callen Lord?”
“Yeah. We both got drunk and—”
“Wait. You got drunk? Like, he got you drunk? Because this isn’t like you at all.”
“No, it’s not like that,” I said, feeling flustered. “Callen and I decided to compromise, and I thought there would be no harm in showing that I can have fun. Well, that doesn’t sound right. He didn’t talk me into it or anything.”
I wasn’t explaining very well. Shayla’s suspicious attitude was throwing me off.
“Then what happened?”
“We both drank a little more than we meant to, and one thing led to another, next thing you know, I’m waking up in bed with my new husband and no memory of what happened.”
“You guys slept together?”
“I’m not sure. Well, we did last night, but I’m not sure about the night we were married. Neither of us can remember.”
“I don’t like this, Lyssa. It sounds like this player took advantage of you.”
“It’s really not like that. He’s a great guy and I like him a lot. I’m falling for him completely.”
Shayla sighed. “What does this mean? I thought you were coming to New York. Stephanie moved out a few weeks early. I was just calling to convince you to move over here now. You don’t have to wait until the month is up.”
“But I need the money,” I protested. Really, I dreaded leaving Callen. Did I even want to anymore?
“I can help you out with money until you get a job here. Just consider it, please. I don’t want you to stick around Santa Barbara for a guy that isn’t good for you.”
“How do you know he isn’t good for me?” I asked defensively.
“I guess I don’t, but you’ve only known the guy for like a week.” I jolted as I realized she was right about that. Our connection was so strong that it felt like I had known him so much longer.
“You think it’s too fast?” I asked. I could almost feel that bubble of happiness bursting.
“I don’t know what to think. All I know is that he likes to drink. Loves it. He’s wild and promiscuous. I’m worried that he won’t give up his partying. He’s been doing it for years.”
I bit my lip as her words sank in. I wanted to refute them, but I couldn’t come up with a valid argument. All I had to defend him with were my feelings for the guy, and they proved nothing.
“I’m not trying to bring you down,” Shayla continued, “I want you to be happy and if this guy is someone that makes you happy, I’m all for it. I’m just worried that you’re choosing an uncertain future.”
“New York isn’t certain either.”
“I guess that’s true. But I’m here, and I’ll always have your back.”
“I know.”
“So, are you still going to come?”
I thought it over for a long moment. Shayla made some good points. It was too soon to know if Callen was able to give up his partying ways, or if he even really wanted to, and I had an opportunity to carve out a new path for myself elsewhere. I had to do it.
“Yes,” I said. “I just have to file for divorce first.”
My outlook had done a one-eighty during that phone call, but I knew that it was probably for the best. This was real life and I had been caught up in a fantasy with a movie star.
Perhaps sensing my mood, Callen had insisted on taking me out to dinner, telling me to dress up and going as far as renting a limo. I knew that I should decline and tell him that I was leaving, but I couldn’t seem to get the words past the lump in my throat. I still wanted the fantasy too much.
Instead, I put on my favorite dress, a red number with a slit up the side all the way to my hip. It was tight in all the right places and showed off my figure.
When I joined Callen in the living room, I’d never felt sexier. His eyes were about to bulge out of his head and a broad smile crested across his mouther. I knew what was on his mind. As I stepped off the last stair, Callen made a beeline for me. He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear and planted a soft kiss against my lips.
“You look so damn beautiful,” he said. His tone was soft, and I wondered if I imagined the emotion there. A tingle zipped down my spine.
We got into the stretch limousine, settling into the roomy backseat as the driver took us to the restaurant. Palm trees and the emerald blue of the ocean beyond passed outside the window and I tried to imagine living somewhere else. It was impossible to picture. I’d been here for so long.
“What are you thinking?” Callen asked.
“The ocean,” I replied, which wasn’t a complete lie, but felt like one. I stared at my lap guilt buzzing through me.
“It’s beautiful, right? I’ve never told anyone this, but it humbles me.”
I looked up at Callen’s face questioningly.
“I know I come across as so cocky and arrogant, but sometimes I like to think about how big the ocean is. It’s so outside of our daily lives, a whole world exists beneath its surface, and no matter how famous I am here, I’m small out there.” He nodded to the water visible out my window.
There was something raw about him here, and I thought that I would always think of him like this, with the look he had on his face in this moment.
Shaking off my melancholy mood, I resolved to enjoy myself. The whole evening didn’t need to be about goodbye.
The restaurant was impressive. The menu didn’t have prices, which told me that I probably didn’t want to know the cost. I ordered a grilled salmon dish.
I had expected Callen to order wine, especially when the waiter recommended it to complement our meals, but he stuck with water. When the food came, I took a bite of the salmon and moaned. It was probably the best fish I’d ever eaten in my life.
“That good, huh?” Callen asked.
“Oh yeah. Here, try it.” I held my fork out to him. His eyes held mine as his lips wrapped around my fork. How did this man make everything seem so sexy? It was fish, for goodness sake.
“Hmm, that is good. The second most delicious thing I’ve tasted all day.” His eyes lingered on my lips.
The air between us felt hot and electric and my mouth parted as lust overwhelmed me.
“You are one smooth talker, Mr. Lord.”
“You’re pretty smooth yourself, Mrs. Lord,” Callen said, running his fingertips over my exposed collarbone.
Why did that sound so good? His reminder of our marriage should’ve been a splash of cold water, but instead, it made me hotter for him.
The waiter chose that moment to check on us and the disruption was a relief.
The rest of the meal was less fraught with the sexual tension that had gripped us. We talked about inconsequential things and continued to have heaping forkfuls of each other’s dishes.
; Callen guided me out of the restaurant by wrapping an arm around my waist, and the feeling of his body pressed against me made me tremble with want. By the time we were back in the limo, I was ready for things to get more intimate.
The problem was, I couldn’t sleep with him again while I was planning to leave. It would make things too hard. Callen pressed his lips to mine and his hands roamed my body. I moaned, but pulled away from him.
“What’s wrong,” he asked, looking concerned.
“Callen,” I twisted my hands together nervously, “I’m still going to New York.”
It was amazing how fast the atmosphere of the limo changed. The sexual tension was sapped out of the space and replaced with a cool dread.
“Why? Things are going so well.”
“I have a plan and I’m going to stick to it. I’m sorry.”
We were almost back to the mansion already and I was relieved. Being in this enclosed space with Callen was too sad. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“What changed your mind?” he asked astutely. “You were happy this morning, but something changed.”
“I just don’t want to take a risk on such an uncertain future,” I said. I knew that was a lame explanation, but it was all I had.
We pulled up in front of the mansion and I grabbed the door handle. Callen didn’t move.
“The night’s still young. You’re free to go party. I’ll be gone tomorrow.”
Without another word, I stepped out of the limo and closed the door behind me. I walked up the walkway feeling hollow and more alone than I imagined. I still didn’t know if I was making the right decision, but it was done. No going back now.
The limo sat out front until I was safely in the house. My heart hurt, but that was my own fault. I trudged to my room. I had to pack.
Sixteen
Callen
Over the years, the club scene had been where I thrived. I loved the music, the women, and the booze. Life of the party was my role and I’d never had a reason to even consider walking away from it before Lyssa came into my life.
Now, as I sat at a table with Brett, who had reluctantly forgiven me for our fight at the party, and his girlfriend Jessica, who was celebrating her twenty-first birthday, all I could think about was going home and being with Lyssa.
“What’s going on with you?” Brett asked, eyeing the drink on the table in front of me. The house cocktail was great, but but I had barely touched it. Jessica’s friend kept shooting me bedroom eyes. Not. Interested.
“I’ve fallen for a girl,” I said, staring at the table in front of me as I swirled the straw in my glass. “She’s in the process of leaving me as we speak.”
“Fallen as in…you love her?”
I didn’t need to think about my answer.
“Yeah, I do.”
“Then what the hell are you doing here?”
I looked up at him. “What?”
“You love her, she’s leaving. Seems obvious what you need to do.” Brett rolled his eyes. “Go after her.”
“She’s moving to New York.”
“And? Follow her, talk her into staying, whatever. I’ll tell you this,” Brett leveled me with a glare, “if this woman is responsible for the change in you, you need to hold on tight and never let go.”
“You noticed, huh?” I asked with a small smile.
“I don’t think I’ve seen you completely sober since you were nineteen years old. So, yeah.”
“I want to be the man she thinks I can be,” I said.
“Then I’ll ask again, what are you doing here?”
“You’re absolutely right,” I said, handing him my drink. “Here, give it to the birthday girl. I’ve got somewhere to be.”
“Go get her,” Brett cheered. I clapped his shoulder and strode out of the club.
I was going home. I just had a stop to make first.
“You might as well stop packing,” I said as I walked into Lyssa’s bedroom.
“What are you talking about?” she asked, dropping an armful of clothes in an open box.
“I’m not just letting you go without a fight.”
An emotion flickered across her face, but it was fleeting, and I couldn’t identify it before it was gone.
“Callen, we’re not compatible, you have to see that.”
“We were pretty damn compatible last night,” I insisted. This time it was easy to see the desire in her eyes. But I wasn’t here to seduce her.
“Good sex isn’t enough for a solid relationship.”
“First of all, it’s great sex. Secondly, there is much more between us than that. Do you see how sober I am right now?”
Lyssa bit her lip and shifted her weight.
“You didn’t go to a bar?”
“It was a club actually, and I had half a drink. It wasn’t what I wanted.”
“Why?”
“Don’t you know the influence you’ve had on me? I don’t need to live like that anymore.”
“I’m proud of you, but it takes time to see if that will last. I don’t have time, I’m moving.”
“What’s the rush all of a sudden?”
“I can’t stay here and get more and more attached to you. We’re already married! Which reminds me.” She pulled a manila folder off her nightstand. “I had papers drawn up. You have to sign them to start the divorce proceedings.”
“There’s no way I’m signing that,” I said stubbornly. “I want to stay married. Don’t you get it? I love you.”
Lyssa froze, and I finally saw indecision in her features. She wanted to stay with me, I just knew it. So why was she running away?
“Tell me what you’re afraid of,” I insisted.
“I’m afraid to love you,” she said so softly that I barely heard it.
“Why?”
“Because you’re larger than life, Callen-Freakin’-Lord,” she exploded. “Too sexy to be real, wild party animal, total prince charming when you want to be. It’s too much. I’m afraid that I’ll give you my heart and you’ll turn right back to drinking your life away. Then it’ll be too late for me. Don’t you see? If I can just get away now, before I’m lost to you forever, maybe I’ll be okay. Maybe I can forget. But if this goes on much longer, you’re bound to break my heart.”
I stood in stunned silence. A part of me wanted to be upset at her lack of faith in me, but a much larger part understood it. I had fought her every step of the way as she tried to get me to sober up, and my track record was abysmal. She’d have to be a fool to accept my turnaround without question, and Lyssa was no fool.
But she was wrong.
I was different now. Yes, it happened quickly, but life was like that sometimes.
I walked right up to her and looked her straight in the eye. “Now, you listen here, Lyssa Lord, I will never break your heart. Never. Because you’re right about one thing, I’m Callen-Freakin’-Lord and not only do I always get what I want, I protect what’s mine. That includes you.”
Tears filled her eyes, but I kept talking.
“As for the drinking and the partying, I don’t need that anymore. I found a purpose for life that I didn’t even know I was missing. There’s no need to drown the emptiness in alcohol anymore. Now that I have you.
“So I have two questions for you. One, do you love me?”
“Yes,” she said, not looking away or hesitating.
“In that case,” I sank down to one knee before her and her eyes released those tears in two wet streaks down her rosy cheeks, “will you marry me for real this time? In front of our family and friends?”
I pulled out the ring that I had stopped to get on the way here. It cost a small fortune, partly because I had to bribe the shop owner to come back after hours to sell it to me, but it was worth it. I had specifically chosen an engagement ring that would go well with her Vegas wedding band.
Lyssa’s eyes reflected my own love right back at me and I beamed at her. When she answered, it was no surprise.
“Yes.”
Seventeen
Lyssa
It was finally here, my real wedding day. Callen had promised me a big wedding with all of our family and friends, so that’s what we did. My mom was here, as well as Callen’s parents, despite his rocky relationship with his mom. All the cast and some of the crew from The Brothers California were also in attendance. Brett and his girlfriend sat in the front row.
Shayla had flown in from New York to be my maid of honor.
She and Callen had finally formed a mostly friendly relationship. They weren’t friends, and maybe they never would be, but they were nice to each other for me. It had been tough when Callen and I got engaged. Shayla had concerns already and had freaked out when I cancelled my plans to move to New York.
Then Callen had found out about her influence over my decision to end things with him. I had assured him that she wasn’t really to blame, she was just a concerned friend, but he wouldn’t hear it.
They had clashed like a couple of titans, but backed off when they realized how much it upset me. They may not get along, but at least they had one thing in common: their love for me.
“It’s time,” Shayla said, walking into the white tent that was being used as my dressing room. We were getting married in a park, so there weren’t actual buildings here to use. We had rented a couple of tents to prepare in. Holding my bouquet of pink roses tightly, I emerged from the tent after Shayla, my stride steady as my long train trailed behind me.
The park was beautiful, with flowers in full bloom and tall, leafy trees providing shade for the ceremony. There was a small pond that served as a lovely backdrop. I could see ducks floating around. Callen waited for me, standing beside a minister under a big white arch.
His entire face lit up as he saw me coming and I could have sworn my heart stuttered at the sight. The man was devastatingly handsome. And he was all mine.
When I reached him, he took my hand in his and we stared into each other’s eyes as we repeated the vows, making a lifelong commitment here in front of everyone. I wasn’t nervous, and I didn’t detect any anxiety from Callen either.
Careless: A Movie Star Accidental Marriage Romance (Santa Barbara Secrets Book 2) Page 10
