The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

by Wade Albert White

  Anne shook her head. “It wasn’t Sassafras. One of the supply ships is attacking Saint Lupin’s.”

  “Or it might be poison cows,” said Penelope.

  “Sassafras and Dog are missing,” added Hiro.

  Anne pointed toward the ballroom. Copperhelm started off in that direction, but there was another crack of cannon fire, and moments later a third explosion shook the building, although this time farther away. Instead of ducking or running back, however, Copperhelm marched resolutely down the hallway until he reached the door. Anne was so worried that another attack would strike directly where he stood that she thought her heart might beat out of her chest. Copperhelm surveyed the ballroom for several long heartbeats before returning.

  “That’s not a supply ship,” he said. “Or cows. I just caught a glimpse of it, but it’s definitely a skull and crossbones. That means pirates.”

  “We’re being attacked by pirates?!” exclaimed Penelope. “That is so cool!”

  Copperhelm glared at her.

  Penelope’s cheeks flushed. “I mean, it’s cool except for the part where it’s totally not cool at all. That part is bad. Very, very bad.”

  Copperhelm placed a heavy hand on Anne’s arm. “They’re attacking another part of the school right now. Get your team out of here. Head into the forest and hide in one of the mines. I’ll see to the defenses.”

  “But Sassafras—”

  “Your first responsibility is to see to the safety of your group. We’ll all keep an eye out for Sassafras, and if you do happen to see him, tell him to meet me at the main gate.”

  “Okay,” said Anne, her heart pounding.

  “By the way, who’s this?” he asked, jabbing a thumb in Marri’s direction.

  “The new student.”

  Copperhelm tipped his helmet to Marri. “Welcome to Saint Lupin’s. Try not to get blown up if you can help it.” With that, he ran back the way he had come, moving at a much faster pace than Anne would have thought possible for someone of his stature.

  Wheels were already turning in Anne’s head, and she took a calming breath. She was scared, no question, but Saint Lupin’s was the closest thing to a home she had ever known, not to mention she was its Rightful Heir, and she wasn’t going to hide when it needed her most. She also didn’t like the idea of running from a fight when other people were out there putting themselves at risk. Fear gave way to quickly rising anger. How dare someone attack their school!

  “You heard Captain Copperhelm,” said Hiro. “We need to head for the forest.”

  Anne shook her head. “There’s something else we need to do first.”

  “There is?” said Penelope.

  Hiro’s eyes widened. “You’re going to try to fight them, aren’t you?”

  “We can’t just abandon our friends,” said Anne determinedly.

  “I’m all for fighting, but we don’t have any weapons,” Penelope pointed out.

  “I have an idea about that.”

  Hiro groaned and shook his head. “Ideas are bad. Bad, bad, bad.”

  Penelope grinned. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

  “I am if you’re thinking of the Knights of Saint Lupin’s,” said Anne.

  They were referring to three walking suits of armor called the iron knights. In reality, the knights were Old World power suits that could be controlled by a human pilot. They were originally the property of the Matron, the former headmistress of Saint Lupin’s, but Anne had come into possession of them when she became the Rightful Heir of Saint Lupin’s at the end of her first quest.

  “But Captain Copperhelm gave strict orders to head directly for the mines,” Hiro persisted.

  “The knights are working in the mines, so technically we’ll be following his orders,” said Anne. “I’ll need my gauntlet to control the knights, though, and that’s currently being stored in the school’s armory. So we just need to make a little detour first.”

  Hiro crossed his arms. “Have I mentioned how much I hate detours?”

  Anne turned to Marri. “We’ll take you with us to the mines, but you can stay hidden there. You only just started at the school, and we can’t expect you to risk yourself for us.”

  Marri met Anne’s eyes with a determined look. “I became part of this group the moment I arrived,” she said. “What kind of a team member would I be if I let everyone else face all the danger?”

  Anne nodded, and the four of them set off down the corridor in the same direction as Copperhelm. When they reached the main lobby, everything was relatively quiet, although shouts drifted in through the windows along with what sounded like the clink of metal on metal. The unmistakable smell of gunpowder hung in the air. Instead of heading out the front entrance, they turned and made their way along a short corridor that led to a large oak door. Anne pushed it open, and the four of them proceeded inside.

  The room was lightly furnished. Weapon racks lined the walls, all of them empty. There was a single bed along the back wall, a bookshelf stuffed with books and scrolls, and a massive sword leaning in the corner. There was also what looked like a ten-foot-tall metal statue of a man with three arms in the middle of the room.

  Marri gasped when the statue turned its head to look at them.

  “Marri, Rokk. Rokk, Marri,” said Anne.

  Rokk was an Old World robot. They’d met him during their first quest, and he had traveled with them ever since. Unfortunately, during their second quest he fell under the control of the Copper Knights and attempted to kill the dragon queen. The Wizards’ Council tried to have him deactivated, but Anne used what little influence she had to keep him at Saint Lupin’s.

  “Um, hi there,” said Marri, looking somewhat alarmed by his presence.

  “Greetings,” said Rokk. “My sensors have detected several explosions nearby. Is there a problem?”

  “You could say that,” said Anne. “Saint Lupin’s is being attacked by pirates. I need my gauntlet so we can operate the iron knights. And Captain Copperhelm could probably use your help with the school’s defenses.”

  Rokk picked up the sword in one hand. With another hand, he reached under the bed and pulled out a rectangular wooden box with an orange ribbon tied around it. Anne tore off the ribbon and opened the box. The inside was lined with crushed blue velvet, and nestled there was a brown leather glove covered in strips of overlapping metal. Her gauntlet. She pulled it onto her left hand.

  “You might also find this useful,” said Rokk, selecting a single red-covered book from the shelf with his third hand.

  Anne immediately recognized The Adventurer’s Guide. She had discovered it in the library the day before her thirteenth birthday, the day before her first quest. The book often provided clues about how to complete their quests. Unfortunately, it had been stabbed with a sword, and now much of the information it provided came out scrambled. Since it was yet another adventure-related item, Anne had been forced to store it along with the gauntlet.

  Several shouts echoed down the hallway.

  “It’s the pirates,” whispered Hiro.

  Penelope tiptoed into the hallway for a moment, then quietly returned and eased the door shut. “It sounds like they’ve entered the main lobby.”

  “Is there any way to lock this door from the inside?” Anne asked Rokk.

  “Negative,” said Rokk. “Additionally, it would only be a matter of time before they broke it down.”

  “I have something that might help,” said Marri. She reached into her leather pack and pulled out a cloth bag. From the bag she removed a small blue object. It was less than an inch in diameter and many sided.

  “What’s that” asked Penelope.

  “An icosahedron.”

  “A what?”

  “It means a dice with twenty sides,” said Hiro.

  “Oh.”

  “What does it do?” Anne asked hopefully. She welcomed anything that could help them against the pirates.

  Marri carefully picked up the dice between her thumb a
nd forefinger and held it toward Rokk. “Could you look at this, please?”

  Rokk leaned over, and a green beam of light shot out of his eyes and swept over the cube.

  “Curious,” said Rokk. “If I’m not mistaken, that is a—”

  Marri muttered something under her breath, and a blue ray shot out of the dice and struck Rokk in the chest. For a moment, he was surrounded by a nimbus of light. Then he disappeared, along with everything he was holding.

  Hiro gasped.

  “What happened?” shouted Penelope. “Where did he go?”

  Marri held up the cube. “Don’t worry. It’s supposed to do that. Your friend is fine. He’s merely been shrunk and placed inside the dice.”

  Anne stepped closer. Indeed, there was a tiny Rokk peering out from one of the faces of the dice and looking very surprised (or at least very surprised for a robot).

  “But how does that help?” asked Anne.

  “Simple,” said Marri. “With that robot and his giant sword out of the way, it’s much easier for me to do this.”

  Before Anne could ask what “this” was, Marri reached beneath her chair and pulled out a short sword. She pointed it at Anne.

  Anne blinked several times to make sure she was seeing things correctly. “What are you doing?”

  In a flash, Penelope yanked her wooden sword out of its scabbard and leapt forward, but with a quick flick of her wrist, Marri disarmed her. The wooden sword clattered across the floor and under the bed. Hiro pulled his Special Order Spell Catalog out of his cloak, but with another swish of her blade, Marri sliced the catalog in half.

  Anne started for the door, but Marri had anticipated the move and wheeled her chair back to block the way.

  “Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” said Marri. Gone was the shy new student. Her voice was commanding. “Fighting would be foolish. You don’t have any weapons.”

  “Don’t count on it,” said Anne, and she held up her gauntlet. “Activate Three-Handed Sword of the Guardian.”

  A giant sword appeared in the air above her. It looked identical to the sword that had been sucked into the dice along with Rokk. Anne reached up with the gauntlet and grabbed it. It looked impossibly heavy but was in truth quite light, and Anne had no difficulty wielding it. She had never been formally trained in sword fighting, but she was hoping the mere sight of the massive blade might be enough. Marri certainly looked concerned.

  At that moment, the door burst open and four burly individuals—two men and two women—barged in. One of them had a peg leg, another had a hook instead of a hand, and two of them wore eye patches. They all wore pieces of mismatched leather armor and carried long knives, and each of them had a badge pinned to the chest with a unique number on it. The four pirates spread out and pointed their blades at Anne, Penelope, and Hiro.

  “We’ve beaten the scurvy dogs and secured the grounds, Captain,” said a pirate with the number nineteen on his badge. He dropped what looked to be another two dice into her cloth bag.

  “Captain?” said Anne, and she stared at Marri anew. “Who are you?”

  Marri dug out her two tokens again and pressed them together. They merged into a single larger token, and the letters from PIE ARTISAN and ACTP swirled around until they spelled something completely different: S. PIRATE CAPTAIN.

  “I knew it!” said Penelope.

  “What does the S stand for?” asked Hiro.

  “Senior,” said Pirate Nineteen. “It marks her as one of the highest-ranking pirate captains in the Hierarchy.”

  Anne swallowed and gripped the hilt of her sword firmly.

  “Everything all right here, Captain?” asked a pirate with the number twenty-two. She was staring intently at the massive blade in Anne’s hand.

  Marri looked pointedly at Anne. “Well?”

  Anne looked left and right. There were five pirates, and Penelope and Hiro had both been disarmed. There was no way Anne could protect both herself and her friends against such odds.

  “Deactivate sword,” said Anne through gritted teeth, and the Three-Handed Sword disappeared.

  Marri turned to Pirate Twenty-Two. “Take the gauntlet.”

  The pirate sheathed her knife and walked over to Anne. Reluctantly, Anne removed the gauntlet and passed it to her.

  Marri stared at Anne for a moment. There was a glint of anticipation in her eye. Earlier Anne had mistaken it for the excitement of starting at a new school, but now she saw it was something more sinister, and it made her nervous. Finally, Marri turned her chair around and headed out the door.

  “Bring them,” she ordered, her tone firm and resolute.

  And the pirates led them out.

  THE STORY OF THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MACHINE

  Once upon a time there was an incredible shrinking machine.

  It shrank things.

  That’s pretty much the whole story.

  Marauders, Raiders, and Buccaneers

  The pirates escorted Anne, Penelope, and Hiro back to the main lobby. From there they proceeded down the long corridor to the headmistress’s office. The hallway was lined with the statues of the former headmistresses and headmasters of Saint Lupin’s. As always, Anne felt a lingering sense of disapproval as she passed them, perhaps from a mildly guilty conscience for all the times she’d snuck around where she wasn’t supposed to. As the group approached the office door, the sound of breaking glass came from inside the room.

  The office was octagon shaped. There were three tall stained-glass windows and in the center a great oak desk. Along the walls, floor-to-ceiling shelves held thousands of glass domes, each displaying a unique quest medallion. A pirate wearing the badge number fifty-three was moving swiftly along the shelves, plucking off the glass domes and tossing them aside, and deftly sweeping each medallion into a burlap sack.

  “Hey, that’s our stuff!” shouted Penelope.

  Anne started toward the pirate, but their four beefy escorts blocked the way.

  Yet another pirate stood off to the side holding an orange-and-white cat who was struggling to get free. Her Royal Highness Princess Fluffington Whiskers of the Mousetrapper Clan—or Princess Whiskers, as she liked to be called—was technically the headmistress of the school. The cat sank her claws into the pirate’s bare arm, and the pirate released her with a yelp. Princess Whiskers landed gracefully on the floor and immediately sprang at the pirate closest to Anne. The pirate shrieked and tumbled into one of the shelves, and Princess Whiskers bounded onto the desk. She arched her back and hissed.

  “And a hiss hello to you, too,” said Marri. She held up another one of her dice and captured the feisty cat midpounce in a flash of blue light.

  Anne was too furious for words. The only thing keeping her from flying at the “captain” was the meaty hand of a pirate three times her size on her shoulder. She remained where she was, trembling with outrage. Marri moved behind the desk while the other pirates guided Anne, Penelope, and Hiro to a spot on the floor where an X had been painted long ago.

  Pirate Twenty-Two laid Anne’s gauntlet on the desk, but Marri didn’t reach for it. Instead, she waited patiently until Pirate Fifty-Three finished going through the quest medallions. He dropped the last medallion into the sack with a clink and then headed out the door. Anne surveyed the damage with gritted teeth. Every medallion was gone, stolen, including a special copper medallion bearing the image of a dragon that had been on display on the desk. That was the medallion from her second quest. She had never managed to recover the silver medallion from her first quest, but if she had, no doubt it would be gone as well.

  “Those medallions belong to me,” said Anne, doing her best to hold her emotions in check.

  “Not anymore,” Marri replied. “They fall well within standard pirate looting rights.”

  “Are you at least going to tell us what this is all about?” Penelope asked impatiently.

  “All in due time.”

  Marri sat there with her hands on her lap, studying them but otherwise
unmoving, as though waiting for something to happen. Soon the sound of approaching footsteps echoed down the corridor, and moments later two more pirates entered, each carrying one end of a wooden chest bound in thick iron straps and secured with a chunky iron lock. They set the chest down with a thump and stepped back.

  “Thank you,” Marri said to them. “Now we can—”

  Another commotion arose from the corridor, and a woman with dark brown skin and a head of voluminous black hair burst into the room wielding a rapier. Her name was Jocelyn, and she was for all intents and purposes the actual headmistress of the school. She was meticulously dressed in black pants, a red vest, and a white blouse. Her normally warm brown eyes carried a glint of steel.

  “Marauders!” shouted Jocelyn. “Raiders! Buccaneers!”

  “Personally, I’ve always liked the term swashbuckler,” Marri said calmly.

  “Well, I hope you like dungeon cells, too, because that’s where I’m going to put you,” Jocelyn continued. “How dare you attack this school! I am Lady Jocelyn Abigayle Daisywheel the Third, and I demand that you—”

  A blue ray struck her and she disappeared. Marri dropped yet another dice into her cloth bag.

  “Hey, you release our teacher right now, you… you… pirates!” yelled Penelope, her cheeks reddening with anger.

  Even Hiro looked livid.

  Anne slipped out of her captor’s grasp and leapt forward, but before she even rounded the corner of the desk, Marri held up yet another one of her dice and Anne came screeching to a halt. She wanted to rip those dice out of Marri’s hand, but there was no point getting herself trapped as well. She would have to bide her time until the right opportunity presented itself. The pirate who had been holding her guided her back to the X.

  “As I was saying,” said Marri, “now we can discuss why I’ve come here and what you’re going to do for me.”

  “Why would we do anything for the likes of you?” asked Penelope.

  Marri upended the cloth bag on the desk and dumped out seven dice. They each had a different number of sides. The first contained a tiny Rokk. The other six held Sassafras, Dog, Copperhelm, Princess Whiskers, Jocelyn, and Nana, the school’s black dragon. They all appeared to be in a state of suspended animation. The flashes of blue light during the pirate attack hadn’t been from the cannons. They had been from Marri capturing people. And by the looks of it, Anne, Penelope, and Hiro were the only ones left.