The Adventurer's Guide to Treasure (and How to Steal It)

by Wade Albert White

  “Well, at least there’s plenty of—”

  “Whoops! Did I say days? I meant minutes.”

  Marri’s eyes widened. “But—but that’s only one day!”

  “Yep. And actually, you have slightly less than that,” said Jeffery. “Someone started the quest but then paused it after less than an hour.”

  Anne stepped forward. “Marri, listen to me. You need to release Jocelyn and the others right now. You’ll never manage this on your own. I’m not even sure we could. But they have years of questing experience. They can help you.”

  Marri shook her head. “I already told you: If you want your friends released, you’ll have to complete the quest yourself.”

  “We have absolutely no reason to believe that you’ll stick to your word,” said Anne.

  “And I have no reason to believe you would complete the quest otherwise.”

  “Did it ever occur to you to ask?”

  Marri gave her a sharp look. “Pirate captains don’t ask. They give orders and expect to be obeyed.”

  Anne wanted to tell her what a fool she was being, but it was obvious Marri had made up her mind. Marri swept the dice into her bag and then wheeled herself toward the door. The pirates carrying the chest followed her.

  “Bring them!” she snapped.

  The remaining pirates, the four who had escorted Anne, Penelope, and Hiro into the office, led them toward the front entrance with Jeffery flying above them. Anne and the others trudged down the long hallway, boots echoing on the broken tile, hearts heavy at the prospect of becoming prisoners of this pirate crew. The pirates pushed them out the front door—

  —where everyone came to a stumbling halt.

  The sky was filled with airships. Each had a seven-pointed black star on its mainsail, which marked them all as Wizards’ Council ships. Several had come alongside the pirate ship. On the ground, five dragons spread out in a rough semicircle facing the front doors of the Manor. As Anne and the others stood on the steps, two dozen fireballs landed in the middle of the courtyard, and two dozen wizards in various-colored robes appeared out of the smoke and dust.

  A wizard in a red robe with yellow trim walked up the steps and stopped in front of Anne. “Are you Anvil, Keeper of the Sparrow and Rightful Heir of Saint Lupin’s?” he asked.

  “Yes!” said Anne, hopeful that perhaps the Wizards’ Council had taken note of the pirate attack and had come to save them. Her relationship with the council had been rocky thus far, but perhaps this would mark a turning point.

  The wizard took a small notebook from his pocket and flipped it open. “Good. My name is Lieutenant Formaldehyde. I’m with the Wizards’ Council. As I’m sure you’re aware, this school is currently under suspension and therefore not permitted to undertake any quests. We’ve been monitoring this tier for any signs of illegal quest-related activity, and at precisely nine thirteen this morning we registered the activation of a prophecy medallion. Therefore, it is my duty to inform you that you are in direct violation of Sections 102 and 304 of the Questing Regulations.”

  “Three guesses what that means,” said Penelope.

  Anne’s brief moment of hope melted away. Back down in the yard, a tall man pushed his way to the front. He had tanned white skin, a square jaw, and dark wavy hair that was graying at the temples. He wore gray pants, black leather boots, and a charcoal tunic with a midnight-black cape slung over one shoulder. A crow was perched on his other shoulder.

  Anne recognized him immediately.

  It was Lord Greystone, the Minister of Questing.

  “It means you’re all under arrest,” he said.

  ACCORDING TO THE WIZARDS’ COUNCIL, THERE ARE FIVE LEVELS OF ILLEGALITY:

  1) Illegal

  2) Mostly illegal

  3) Illegal for kittens

  4) Not really illegal, but we’ll pester you about it anyway

  5) Not illegal (but still illegal)

  Flight from the Council

  The Wizards’ Council airships were enormous. Each one was filled with armed soldiers and had at least a hundred cannon ports on each side. Wizards either adopted defensive stances or shouted random orders at nobody in particular in an effort to look important. The dragons seemed restless—as in ready-to-shoot-flames-at-the-least-sign-of-trouble restless. They were snapping at one another as well as the wizards.

  “Is getting arrested just a thing that happens to us now?” asked Hiro. “Because it seems to happen to us a lot.”

  “Er, why are there so many of you?” Anne asked the lieutenant as Greystone was making his way up the steps.

  “Lord Greystone has familiarized us with your adventuring history,” said the lieutenant. “We felt it best to come prepared.”

  When Greystone reached the top of the stairs, he ignored Marri and the other pirates and focused solely on Anne, Penelope, and Hiro.

  “I’ll make this quick,” he said. He pointed first at Anne. “You will surrender your gauntlet to the council and be forever barred from attending another quest academy or going on any official adventures. And that’s presuming you don’t end up spending the rest of your life in a dungeon cell, which you most certainly will if I have anything to say about it. Furthermore, under the conditions of your suspension, all proceeds from any and all quests in which you have participated in the past are now forfeit. This includes, but is not limited to, the Saint Lupin’s tier itself.”

  Anne opened her mouth to protest, but Greystone pressed on and turned next to Penelope. “Ms. Shatterblade, after you are finished with whatever other punishment the council decides is appropriate, your family name will be completely wiped from all records, and you yourself will be exiled from the Hierarchy, never to return. We’re going to rid ourselves of the name Shatterblade once and for all.”

  All the color drained from Penelope’s face. For once, she seemed to be at a complete loss for words.

  Finally, Greystone turned to Hiro. “As for you, Mr. Darkflame, your parents have been notified of the situation. They are currently away on a secret mission, but they will return as soon as possible. If it were up to me, you would suffer the same fate as your two companions here, but no doubt your family connections will shield you from the worst of it. Nevertheless, my advice to you is to get as far away from these two as possible, as soon as possible. At the very least, you can expect a black mark on your permanent record, which I assure you will be brought up every single time you apply for a position at the Wizards’ Council, because I’ll be there to make sure it gets brought up.”

  Marri raised her hand as if to interrupt, but one look from Greystone and she decided better of it.

  Greystone stepped back and surveyed the three of them together. “The three of you will be taken from here directly to a council holding cell, where you will await trial. With any luck, you will be found guilty and spend several years in a hard-labor camp. Regardless of that, however, I’m pleased to say that I won’t have to concern myself with any of you much longer.”

  At that moment, one of the council dragons reared back and let out a tremendous roar. The roar was accompanied by a huge red fireball, which struck the airship directly above it and punctured the hull. Seconds later a huge explosion rocked the airship, blowing a sizable hole in the hull and setting one of the masts on fire. Soldiers ran about on deck trying to put out the flames.

  “I told them gunpowder and dragons don’t mix,” growled Greystone. He turned to the lieutenant. “Formaldehyde, I’m leaving you in charge here while I sort out that mess.”

  Greystone hurried back down the stairs.

  A squadron of soldiers surrounded the dragon that had released the fireball and tossed ropes around its neck to calm it down. That turned out to be a bad idea. The dragon bit through the ropes and swept several soldiers from their feet with its tail. Meanwhile, the other four dragons became agitated at seeing their companion mistreated. Soldiers started to run in all directions as wizards shouted contradictory orders and proved generally useless.
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  Amid all the chaos, a rainbow-colored blur dropped out of the sky and landed on Anne’s shoulder. It was Jeffery. Thankfully, the lieutenant was distracted by all the commotion and didn’t see him.

  “Where have you been?” whispered Anne.

  “Oh, nowhere in particular. But hey, did you know dragons are extremely ticklish behind the knees?”

  Anne surveyed the burning airship and the chaos on the ground.

  “That was you?” she asked.

  “I figured a big enough distraction might give you the opportunity to sneak away.”

  Anne pointed to the lieutenant. “We can’t sneak anywhere with a council wizard standing right in front of us.”

  “Or maybe you could,” said Marri, joining them. She held out her hand. In her palm were three tokens, each with PIRATE engraved on it.

  “Who are those for?” asked Penelope.

  “The three of you,” said Marri. “If you officially join my crew, I can get you out of here.”

  “And let us guess the price for your generosity.”

  “You know what I want.”

  Anne pursed her lips. They were between a proverbial rock and a hard place. They could either stay and be imprisoned by the council, or go with Marri and her crew and help them complete the quest, with no guarantee of what would happen to them afterward.

  “If we agree to join your crew, wouldn’t that mean we’d have to follow your orders?” asked Anne.

  “Yes,” said Marri. “But you would also receive a share of any treasure we find.”

  “Sounds good to me!” said Penelope, and she reached for one of the tokens.

  Anne moved to block her hand, but Hiro beat her to it.

  “Can I have a word with my friends?” he asked.

  “Certainly,” said Marri. “But don’t take too much time. If we’re not gone before Greystone gets back, you’re going to be out of luck. Not to mention, the clock on the quest is ticking.”

  She moved back and gave them space.

  Anne, Penelope, and Hiro formed a huddle.

  Hiro spoke first. “I just want everyone to know what’s at stake. If we do this, if we become pirates, everyone needs to understand that there’s no going back. Not to adventuring, not to the academy, and not to working anywhere else in the Hierarchy. Once a pirate, always a pirate. Those are the rules. And we would absolutely have to obey orders, for as long as Marri wanted us on her crew. We don’t get to choose when we’re done.”

  Hiro’s tone was serious and sharp. Anne had never heard him speak like this.

  “It’s not like we have a load of options,” said Penelope. “If we stay here, I’ll get exiled and Anne will be barred from adventuring. When you look at it that way, what have we got to lose?”

  Anne studied Hiro. He was trembling, and she thought she understood his concern.

  “If you do this, you won’t ever have a chance to join the Wizards’ Council?” she asked.

  Hiro shook his head.

  Anne’s heart went out to him. No doubt he was thinking of his family and everything they were expecting from him. “Maybe you should take some time and think it over. Greystone said your parents might be able to get you out of this. That’s something to consider.”

  Hiro lowered his head, and Anne could see that he was struggling. It was Penelope, though, who placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

  “It’s okay, Hiro,” she said. “We understand. Maybe it would be best if we parted ways.”

  The silence stretched on for several more seconds, but finally Hiro looked up.

  “No,” he said. “We’re a team. You’ve both stuck by me when I needed you. One way or another, we’re finishing this together.”

  Anne’s heart leapt for joy, and Penelope slapped Hiro on the back so hard that he nearly fell over.

  “Awesome!” said Penelope. “Now I don’t have to put you in a headlock.”

  “So, we’re all agreed, then?” asked Anne, looking to each of them. “We’re becoming pirates?”

  Penelope and Hiro both nodded.

  They broke their huddle, but before Anne took one of the tokens, a thought occurred to her. It wasn’t right that Marri was calling all the shots. She needed them as much as they needed her.

  “Before we accept your offer, we have one condition,” said Anne. She knew she was taking a risk, but it was necessary.

  Marri raised an eyebrow. “And that is?”

  “You have to join our adventuring group. For real this time.”

  “And you have to give back all our quest medallions,” added Penelope.

  Marri frowned. “And why should I do either of those things?”

  “Because if we join your pirate crew, you would have authority over us. But I’m the official leader of our group, so if you join us, it would even things out. Neither of us would have the upper hand.”

  Penelope nodded. “And giving back the medallions would be a sign of your good intentions.”

  “We’re pirates. We’re not especially known for our good intentions.”

  Anne crossed her arms and waited.

  Marri eyed them skeptically. “I’m not sure you’re in a position to negotiate. I could just leave you here for the council, and then you would have nothing.”

  “Yes, but then best of luck explaining to Octo-Horse Pirate about activating the quest. From everything you’ve told us about him so far, I don’t think that’s something you want to do.”

  Anne could tell Marri wasn’t entirely convinced, and the pirate captain took her time answering, no doubt looking for some way she could turn the deal more to her favor. Anne said nothing and simply waited.

  Marri sighed. “Fine, I’ll join your group.”

  Anne nodded, and she and Penelope and Hiro each took a pirate token from Marri’s hand.

  “You’ll need to sign this,” said Marri, bringing out a piece of parchment. “It’s a standard pirate agreement. Things like fulfillment of contract, shipboard duties, your percentage of any loot taken, insurance against lost limbs—”

  “Lost limbs?!” Hiro exclaimed.

  “—and what we would write on your tombstone in case you get eaten by a sea monster. You know, the usual.”

  “Er, just out of curiosity, what would you write on our tombstones?” asked Penelope.

  “Here lies Penelope. She was eaten by a sea monster.”

  “Okay. Just checking.”

  The three of them signed the parchment. Marri rolled up the contract and stuffed it into her pack.

  “Jeffery, is there anything we need to do to make her an official part of the group?” asked Anne.

  “Nope,” said Jeffery. “Telling me is enough. I’ll simply log it in my files.”

  Anne turned back to Marri. “Looks like we’re good to go, then.”

  “Good. Follow my lead,” said Marri. She approached Lieutenant Formaldehyde. “Is there a problem here, lieutenant?”

  The lieutenant checked his paper and frowned. “Who are you?”

  “Marri Blackwood, captain of the Blue Daisy. My crew and I are here on official pirate business. Since this matter about a quest doesn’t have anything to do with us, I assume that my crew and I are free to go.”

  The lieutenant looked back to the yard, no doubt wanting to consult Greystone first, but the Minister of Questing was nowhere to be seen.

  “Lieutenant?”

  The lieutenant straightened his robes. “Ah, yes, of course. That’s fine. You may leave.”

  “Thank you.”

  Marri started down the ramp next to the stairs, and Anne and the others followed.

  “Wait a minute,” said the lieutenant. “You’re free to go, but those three have to remain here.”

  Marri stopped. “But they’re part of my crew.”

  Anne, Penelope, and Hiro all showed him their pirate tokens.

  “Er, well, I didn’t realize—”

  “You did say this matter didn’t concern us, correct?”

  “Yes, but
it does concern them.”

  “That’s fine,” said Marri. “They can stay, but my crew and I are leaving.”

  “That’s fine.”

  They all started off once more.

  “But—”

  Marri stopped again. “But what?”

  “But how can they go and stay at the same time?”

  “Well, I guess that’s for you to figure out. Greystone left you in charge, and I’m sure he expects you to be able to deal with such a trivial matter. Just explain it to him the way I explained it to you, and I’m sure he’ll understand.”

  The lieutenant looked perplexed but nodded. “Okay, then. And thanks.”

  “I can’t believe that really worked,” said Anne when they were out of earshot.

  “It won’t work for long. Eventually either he’ll figure out he’s been duped or Greystone will return. At best I figure we have ten minutes. Fifteen if we’re lucky.” She spun her chair to the other pirates. “Let’s move!” she barked, and Anne was surprised by the sudden tone of command in her voice.

  Marri continued down the ramp and rolled into the yard. Everyone else followed at a run. As they approached the hovering pirate ship, several ropes were lowered, including one that split into four smaller ropes, each with a metal hook at the end. The pirates grabbed the ropes and immediately started climbing. Marri took the rope with the hooks and expertly fitted them into the four rings attached to the arms of her chair.

  “See you up top,” she said, and she gave the rope three tugs. It went taut and she immediately began to ascend.

  Anne, Penelope, and Hiro each grabbed a dangling rope and were pulled up to the waiting airship as well. When they reached the top, pirates were rushing in every direction—not in a panic, but with a sort of efficient urgency.

  “You three can join me on the upper deck for now,” called Marri.

  They followed her up a ramp at the back of the main deck to a smaller deck. Several other pirates were going about their tasks. One stood in front of a giant wooden wheel, no doubt used for steering the airship. Another stood beside him holding a clipboard.

  “This is Mr. Locke, first mate aboard the Blue Daisy,” said Marri, indicating the pirate with the clipboard. “If he gives you orders at any time, you should obey him instantly.” She turned to Locke. “Time to be on our way.”