Student Seduction

by Caisey Quinn

  By the time I made it to the bus stop, my phone was chiming with incoming text messages.

  I wiped my still wet eyes and read the words my mother had sent.

  The house sold. We have to be out in twenty-one days. Kat and I are going to be mostly on the road, but Mrs. Echols said you are welcome to stay with her and Drew as long as you need. I won’t tell you what to do. You’re an adult now. But I think you should consider your father’s offer.

  Damn this day.

  I stifled the urge to go on another crying jag and pulled up Aiden’s number on my phone. It rang a few times, then his voicemail picked up.

  He had hockey practice tonight. Right.

  The bus ride from Charlotte was a blur of crying and trying not to cry.

  I decided to get off in Riverside and Uber to Aiden’s house. We needed to talk.

  I needed to apologize, not only for getting so upset with him for calling my dad but for the risks we’d taken, risks he would take the fall for.

  When I arrived, the house and the Airstream were both locked up tight. There were no signs that anyone was home so I headed to the studio he’d built for me. I had a key to it and desperately needed to get out some of what I was bottling inside.

  Once inside, I turned on my music, blasting the best of Halsey, because I was angry and hurt and scared. Everything was fucked up, but I was resilient and hopeful. Emotions her music combined effortlessly. Pretty sure she was my spirit animal.

  Rolling out the tarp I’d ordered to cover the back wall, I decided it was my medium today. Filling my aluminum pan with black paint, I began planning out the piece in my head.

  “Hello?” A male voice called out.

  I turned and saw Axel standing in the doorway to the shed. I reached for my phone and lowered the volume.

  He lifted his chin toward the tarp. “Didn’t mean to interrupt. Could we talk for a minute?”

  I crossed the space between us. “Sure. Is Aiden okay?”

  Axel frowned down at me. “I don’t know, Emersyn. Honestly, I’m starting to think my little brother had lost his damn mind. So I don’t know if he’s okay or not.”

  My insides attempted to tie themselves into knots. “Meaning you think he’s crazy for getting involved with me.”

  Axel was a straightforward kind of guy. He wasn’t going to sugarcoat anything so neither was I.

  “I think he cares a lot about you and that’s fine. If what you have is so wonderful, it can wait six or seven more months until you graduate and dating you is legal.”

  I nodded. “Because before me, he was just so happy and fulfilled, partying with you and hooking up with random girls all the time.”

  Axel’s eyes narrowed and he was intimidating, but I wasn’t in the mood to back down. “Before you, the girls he spent time with wouldn’t cost him his teaching license, which, by the way, the state made him jump through a dozen hoops for. On top of the six years of college he’s been through while working to help out around here.”

  “What do you want me to do, Axel? Tell him to fuck off for six months and leave me alone until I attend some pointless ceremony and throw a hat in the air? Will you be happier then? Will he?”

  He crossed his massive forearms over his chest. “I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never seen him get like this over anyone. He was a hit it and quit it, easy come easy go kind of guy.”

  “Lovely. Thanks for catching me up.”

  His brow furrowed. “The point is, I love my brother. I want him to be happy, and if you’re what makes him happy, then I won’t stand in the way of that.”

  I waited for the catch.

  “After you graduate high school,” he finished.

  “And until then?”

  He hesitated. “If you love him, if you really and truly love him, stay the hell away from him. Transfer of his class, don’t come here, and don’t contact him at all if you can help it.”

  I huffed out an annoyed breath. “And what will I tell him? Stay the hell out of my life for six months? Because your brother said so? You think he’ll listen to that?”

  He leaned toward me but I didn’t back down. “No, I don’t. But he will do what’s best for you. Tell him you’re scared of getting caught. Tell him you don’t want to be known all over town as the teenage whore who seduced her teacher.”

  The next thing I knew, my palm stung as if I’d placed it on a hot stovetop.

  Because I’d slapped Axel across the face.

  I held my wounded hand to my chest. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I—”

  “I might’ve deserved that,” he admitted without flinching. “I’m not so good at speaking delicately.”

  We stood there, locked in staring contest, finding ourselves at an impasse.

  I don’t want to let him go. I love him and I’m scared of who I’d be without him. He makes me better. Stronger. More alive than I’ve ever felt. But I doubt Axel cares about my feelings.

  “I would never do anything to hurt him on purpose.”

  He inhaled sharply. “But you are. Every day he’s risking everything for you. My brother is one of the best people I know,” he admitted. “And if you tell him I said that, I’ll deny it. But here’s what else I know.” He paused as if choosing his words carefully this time. “He deserves the things he’s worked for. A career. A life. A relationship that won’t cost him everything he’s worked so hard for and possibly jail time. Don’t you want that for him? A relationship he doesn’t have to sneak around and hide? If what you have is real, a few months apart won’t change anything. What you have will still be there when you graduate high school. Love him enough to wait. For both of your sakes.”

  I waited to see if there was more. There wasn’t.

  He turned and left me alone with his words. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

  I couldn’t take anymore. Couldn’t carry anymore of it on my own.

  “Ghost” came on and I felt the lyrics down to my soul.

  I ran to my phone and texted Aiden everything, pouring my heart out faster than my fingers could type.

  Please call me when you can. I know you have practice and we aren’t on the best terms, but this has been the worst day and I need to talk to you. Jecca fired me from my internship and she called some people at NCAAD and made sure I won’t be able to get a scholarship from there either. My mom and Kat are selling the house and going on some bucket list road trip and my dad wants me to come to home with him and Ethan. He said he’d pay for art school in California.

  I’ve just hit send and started typing again. I type,I don’t want to go, but I just talked to Axel and he said leaving you alone is what’s best for you. Tell me he’s wrong.

  But before I hit send, his response came through.

  I think you should go.

  There was more. An explanation of some kind as to why. Something about not wanting to stand in the way of my dreams the way he’d stood in the way of his brother’s.

  But I couldn’t read the words through my tears and my red-tinged haze.

  I was too busy emptying every paint can I had. Throwing them against the wall until I could no longer stand. The sound was satisfying and the mess was a horrific masterpiece.

  Not long ago, we’d made love in here.

  Now I’d destroyed it. Like a crime scene that had to be burned to the ground.

  21

  Aiden

  Sunday I lost.

  Everything.

  We lost our game against East Carolina in overtime. But I wasn’t there to see it. During the second period, Emersyn texted me.

  I tried calling you. We’re leaving now. My dad found seats on a direct flight to LA at the last minute. I thought I’d have more time to say goodbye, but I guess this is it.

  I didn’t see her message until I went to the the locker room to get my wrist wrapped during intermission. It was from half an hour ago and she’d tried to call twice.

  Fuck.

  I raked a hand through my hair as I
stared at her words.

  I re-read the messages we’d sent.

  I’d told her to go. I knew it was the right thing to do. But I thought we had more time.

  We didn’t.

  We were out of time and I couldn’t stand saying goodbye like this. I slammed my fist into my locker and changed out of my skates, knowing Coach would ream my ass or kick me off the team, but this wasn’t right. She deserved better than a text message where I’d tried to say the right things instead of telling her the truth.

  I was in love with Emersyn Tyler and I wanted her to know that before she got on an airplane.

  I needed to tell her.

  Face to face.

  The Charlotte airport was surrounded by traffic. An hour later, I was still fighting to find a parking space in the garage. I finally gave us and parked in an unloading zone. Fuck it.

  I was out of time.

  I’d called Emersyn a dozen times on the way, but it had gone straight to voicemail every time.

  Automated sliding glass doors slid open as I tore into the baggage claim area.

  The words I needed to say weaved complicated webs in my mind.

  I love you, don’t go.

  I love you but I know you should go because that’s what’s best for you.

  I love you, I don’t want you to go, but I know I need to let you live your life.

  None of it was exactly what I felt but how could I tell her I was a selfish bastard and just wanted her to stay here with me? She deserved so much better.

  The security turn styles were full of travelers. I scanned them for any sign of her, but there was nothing. A large sign announced that no one could go through security without a ticket.

  Fuck.

  I jogged over to a ticketing agent, not paying any attention to the airline.

  “When’s the next flight to Los Angeles?”

  She typed up a storm on her keyboard before smiling up at me.

  “You just missed one. It took off fifteen minutes ago, sir.” She glanced down at the screen. “There’s another one in an hour.”

  Fuck me. All I could do now was hope she was on the later one.

  “Just give me the cheapest ticket that gets me closest to that gate.”

  Fifteen minutes later, I was minus one hundred and twenty nine dollars, standing at gate C12.

  With a bunch of strangers head to Los Angeles.

  Emersyn had been on the earlier flight and her phone was still going straight to voicemail.

  Had she sat there on the plane waiting until the last possible moment to turn it off, wondering if I’d call or text her back? If so, she was about to fly across the country thinking I didn’t give a damn.

  I stood with my hands atop my head, watching airplanes take off through the glass.

  I’d lost her and it wall all my fault.

  I was the one who’d sent her away.

  Being the good guy that did the right thing fucking sucked.

  22

  Emersyn

  3 Months Later

  “Emersyn,” Deb called up the stairs of the beach house she shared with my dad. “You have a visitor.”

  Glancing out my window, I saw that the sun was setting. I hadn’t been awake long. I’d taken a nap after dinner because I’d stayed up half the night working on the piece I’d begun sculpting when I’d first moved here. I was calling it Homesick.

  Rubbing my eyes, I ambled down the stairs. “How can I have a visitor? I don’t even know anyone he—”

  Aiden stood in the doorway.

  My breath caught in my throat. I was wearing a blue flannel shirt that I still had of his. Only because his lucky hockey jersey was in the wash.

  “You’re here,” was all I could say because my brain wasn’t fully functional yet.

  He nodded. “I tried to call a few times.”

  I knew this. I hadn’t answered because I was still heartbroken that he’d told me to leave, that he hadn’t even come to say goodbye.

  I was wounded and angry and dealing with so much sudden change.

  “I take it you know this guy,” Deb said.

  I didn’t take my eyes off him, wondering if he was a figment of my imagination. “I do.”

  “Okay, then.” She left us alone and I moved to where she’d been standing at the door.

  “Deb has never met you before but my dad knows you were my teacher,” I said quietly. “Coming here was either really brave or really stupid.” My dad was out of town, but he had no way of knowing that.

  “Depending on?”

  I shrugged. “What you’re here for, I guess.”

  “Take a walk with me?”

  I started to step outside into the sunshine when I realized I was missing something vital. “Uh, I need to change or at least put on some pants.”

  He nodded, glancing appreciatively at my bare legs. “I’ll wait.”

  I ran up the stairs with my heart pounding. My mind went wild. What was he doing here?

  What could he possibly want?

  I’d given him my heart already. Was he coming for my soul now?

  If this were a movie, he’d be here to propose, to tell me he couldn’t live another day without me. But that wasn’t my life. I didn’t get magical movie fairytale moments. I knew that. I mentally berated my heart and my mind for even allowing such ridiculous thoughts.

  I pulled on some cutoff jean shorts under his flannel and tucked the front corner of the shirt in so I didn’t look like a pants-less wonder. I slid on the new white Converse Dad had bought me while trying to figure out how I’d explain Aiden’s visit to him.

  My ex-history teacher just wanted to check and make sure I was settling in okay.

  Right.

  Deb gave me a curious look as I made my way down the stairs.

  “He’s a friend from back home. He happened to be in town, so, uh, he stopped by. We’re just going to take a walk and catch up a bit.”

  She nodded her approval but I could see the disbelief all over her. She wasn’t buying what I was selling.

  Before she could ask any follow-up questions, I practically sprinted out the door, nearly slamming into Aiden on the deck.

  “Nice place,” he said, leaning back to get a good look at the house.

  “It’s got a beautiful view,” was all I could think of. It wasn’t my house. It was my dad and Deb’s. I slept in a guest room. Which I would do until I started school in Santa Barbara in a few weeks.

  He glanced out at the ocean. “So…how’s school going?”

  It was the equivalent of him asking how’s the weather. Surely he hadn’t come all this way to make small talk.

  “Uh, it’s not.” We made our way down the stairs to the path where the sand was firm. “I talked to my dad and with so much going on, it actually made more sense for me to get my GED.” Unsure what to do with my hands, I tucked them into my pockets as we walked. “Most of the art schools around here accept them. I applied and got into the Santa Barbara Art Institute. They’re letting me start taking classes this spring.”

  He angled his body toward mine. “Emersyn, that’s wonderful.”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t qualify for any scholarships but my dad is helping and I’ll take out loans.”

  “How’s Ethan doing? Still playing baseball?”

  I nodded. “They let him have a walk-on tryout at his new school and he made the team. They have their first game in a few weeks.”

  “And your mom?”

  I sighed. “She’s traveling with her friend, or her girlfriend really. Kat. We don’t really talk a lot but she does text and tell me she loves and misses me and she’s proud of me. So that’s something.”

  He stopped walking. “It will be dark soon. Feel like getting wet?”

  His words stirred something that had been lying dormant inside of me. Deb had wanted to me to get counseling. She was worried I was depressed. But I hadn’t felt depressed. I just hadn’t felt anything.

  Now I felt…something.

&n
bsp; “Like in the ocean?”

  He nodded. “I have an early flight tomorrow. But I didn’t want to come all this way and not at least step foot in the ocean.

  It was warm enough out but the water would be cool. “Okay. It will drop ten degrees when the sun goes all the way down, so if we’re doing this, it has to be now.”

  My stomach did the somersault routine it usually performed in his presence as I stripped down to my bra and panties.

  He got down to his boxer briefs as I admired the view.

  “You got new tattoos,” I noted once we were standing knee deep in the ocean.

  On his left shoulder was fresh ink he hadn’t had before.

  “I did.”

  I took two steps closer so I could inspect it.

  My stomach did a quick dive and swooped upward at the sight of the dark marks on his skin.

  It was my painting, the mixed-medium one I’d done for my class at Southeastern and left behind in North Carolina.

  “I hope you don’t mind,” he said softly. “I went by your house and your mom told me I could have it.”

  The sunrise I’d painted in ketchup and mustard then transferred to canvas was now inked permanently on his shoulder along with fragments of broken glass and a ferris wheel. Looking closer I could see an ocean wave threatening to drown it all. The shading was impeccable.

  “Aiden,” I began, unsure of how to put my feelings into words.

  “I wanted a piece of you with me always, Emersyn. Something nothing could take away, not even time or distance.”

  My eyes met his and I could see so much in his intense stare. Love, pain, adoration, lust. He was a walking, talking open wound I had caused. It was the mirror image of the bleeding gash I carried across my heart that he had caused.

  I caressed the tender skin lightly with my fingertips. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Not as beautiful as your version, but it will have to do.” He turned his forearm over and showed me the inside. Latin words I couldn’t make out in beautiful handwritten script. “This one is for you too.”

  I tried to make out what words I could. “I only recognize love and free. I took French instead of Latin.”