Aconite and Accusations
Page 23
“Well, we’re doomed,” my loyal familiar announced.
“No we aren’t. We’ll figure this out. We don’t need him,” I said, silently promising all kinds of retribution for Jesse Heathen when we got down from this mountain and back to Wormwood.
Hemlock snorted. “I love the positive attitude you have towards our fast approaching death from hypothermia. How about less talk and more summoning me some cat-sized thermal underwear?”
I frowned at his lip, but he did have a point. With a whole lot of trepidation and not much expectation I reached into the in-between - feeling a strange sort of joy when I realised it was there again. I pulled out a cat-sized cape and a crown edged with fur.
“Not what I asked for, but I’ll take it,” Hemlock said, putting on the familiar outfit.
“We should get moving.” I didn’t like the way that the snow was getting heavier. I had no idea how we were going to get down this mountain and find our way through the many others that seemed to lie between us and modern civilisation.
“Umm… a little help?” Hemlock said.
I looked down and discovered that he was up to his nose in snow. With a sigh, I picked him up and put him on my shoulder.
“You’re not going to call him back to make that deal, are you?” Hemlock asked when we’d been slipping and sliding down the mountain for at least ten minutes.
I shook my head.
“Just thought I’d ask. I did think you’d rather we became popsicles than give in to him. It’s the only logical choice,” my familiar said, drenching his voice in sarcasm.
I was about to confiscate his cape and start an argument - that would probably have ended in us falling off the mountain - when a figure appeared, walking through the snowstorm.
“It’s the abominable snowman!” Hemlock said, pointing a thumbed paw at the dark shape.
I squinted through the snow, wondering if he could be correct. “Hello?” I called, deciding to take a chance that the abominable snowman was friendly.
The figure came closer, and it wasn’t long before I realised I was looking at a man - dressed in traditional clothing for a snowstorm. He was followed by his companion. They looked at me and Hemlock with utter bemusement on their faces.
“We’re a bit lost,” I said, having no idea if they spoke English. It seemed unlikely, and I had no knowledge of foreign languages anyway. If we got through this, I’d add it to my bucket list. “Help us?” I implored, knowing they could surely read the plea from my expression and complete absence of appropriate winter wear.
The two men exchanged a look and began a discussion in a language I didn’t understand.
“Urgh, let me talk to them,” Hemlock said, jumping down into the snow and fully submerging himself.
I fished him out again, straightening his crown.
All of a sudden the two men started babbling excitedly, pointing their fingers at Hemlock.
“What’s going on? Don’t let them eat me,” he said, even as I shushed him, embarrassed.
“Dark Lord and Master!” one of the two men said, touching his forehead with reverence.
“Master Hemlock!” the other one cried.
“What’s this? Fans of mine?” Hemlock said, grinning toothily.
“I don’t believe it,” I muttered as Hemlock signalled with his paw that they should bring blankets and share any survival gear they had in their packs… including any cheese-based products. “Is there even internet out here?” I was trying to work out how these two remote mountaineers had found my obnoxious familiar’s blatant grab for money and power.
“Who cares? Because of me, we’re saved. All hail Dark Lord Hemlock!” my familiar said, accepting the blanket offered to him by his loyal fans.
We’d been saved by followers of Hemlock’s ridiculous online cult.
And he was never going to let me forget it.
“You know what… I think I might make that deal with Jesse after all.”
Books in the Series
Mandrake and a Murder
Vervain and a Victim
Feverfew and False Friends
Belladonna and a Body
Aconite and Accusations
Prequel: Hemlock and Hedge
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