by Karin Baine
‘We’ll start with the fact we’ve both recently lost the people we loved and neither of us are in the right state of mind to make a life-changing decision like this. Then there’s the whole baby issue. You weren’t even prepared for one baby, never mind two. Think of the disruption that’s going to cause in your life on a practical level. I didn’t tell you before now that I’m pregnant because I didn’t want you to feel obligated. I’m not expecting anything from you.’
This wasn’t about sparing his feelings, it was about keeping things real. She could raise these babies alone because she would make them her whole world. To have two children at once gave her the family she wanted, and it didn’t have to include a man.
‘Are you done?’ He leaned forward, his face and body rigid as he stared her down, and she knew she’d dented his pride. ‘Yes, I’m thinking with my head instead of my heart but the whole love thing didn’t work out for me. I don’t like thinking of you in that flat with goodness knows who knocking on your door in the dead of night. My house is big enough to accommodate everyone and I’ve already got a nursery. We might have to double up on some things but that’s easily arranged. I want to be a good friend to you as well as provide a stable home for you all.’
‘What happens when you meet someone else and want to set up a home with them? Where would that leave me? Alone, penniless and out on the street with two children.’
After Gerry she knew she’d find it harder than ever to trust another man get close anyway, but her babies took priority over everything. Not that she’d be a catch, broke, with two children by another man. Cal might believe that he’d never get into another relationship, but he could change his mind over time. He was handsome, smart and too caring for his own good. There was no reason he couldn’t have it all if he wanted. A woman would have to be a lunatic to turn him down. Or simply trying to save him from his own sense of chivalry.
‘Think about it.’ He edged his chair closer to hers and her heart picked up an extra beat.
He hadn’t mentioned the babies in his argument but if Izzy was to entertain the idea of moving in she’d need some sort of assurance he was going to be a father to these babies. She couldn’t live with him and pretend he was nothing more than a landlord to them. It was one thing being asked to forget what had happened between them but quite another if he thought she’d overlook that. Her children deserved a father who was crazy about them, so enamoured she’d be willing to forget everything she’d gone through in the past and risk it all again for their happiness.
She’d made the mistake of believing she’d finally found a forever home with Gerry, going all in and risking her heart in the hope things would work. The crash hadn’t been his fault, but the debts and the gambling had proved he’d never put her first.
She couldn’t commit herself to someone else who treated her babies the same way.
‘We’re friends who made a mistake, Cal, let’s leave it at that. I hereby relinquish you from any responsibility.’ Weary from the debate going on inside and outside her head about the subject, Izzy decided to put an end to it once and for all.
‘I don’t think that’s your call. It took two of us to make these babies. Is that what’s stopping you from letting me be involved? I mean, I wouldn’t force you to be a proper wife, if you’re worried about that?’ The tinge of red flushing his complexion told him exactly what part of marriage he was thinking about.
Sleeping with Cal was something she was doing her best to keep from her mind. They had much more domestic matters to discuss, but now he’d mentioned it the image of the two of them rolling around in bed was suddenly on her mind. If they got married and planned a future together then that was something they would probably succumb to again. They both had physical needs and it would be, well, convenient as well as enjoyable. The idea held definite appeal for her, but she couldn’t tell him that in case he thought she’d planned the whole thing.
‘A proper wife? You mean like having dinner waiting on the table for you coming home after work, warming your slippers by the fire and generally losing my identity to keep my man happy? I don’t fancy your chances, mate.’
‘You know exactly what I mean, Fizz.’ The lopsided grin and darkening eyes dared her to think about it again.
Now she was more uncomfortable than ever because she was imagining Cal as a permanent feature in her bed. A hot man who was offering her a bed and who’d already proved he could make her happy in that department made for an excellent sales pitch.
* * *
‘Job! RTC. Two vehicles.’ That was all Mac had to say to get the crew moving.
Cal jumped in the front of the helicopter with him to direct him to the crash site and waited for Izzy to get into the back.
‘Check doors and harnesses.’
‘Locked and secured.’ Izzy followed his cue with the safety checks and they were in the air within minutes of the emergency call coming into the control room.
‘Okay, land paramedics are on the scene and have requested our attendance. Patients are currently being assessed.’ It wasn’t long before Cal could see the site of the accident for himself as there was such a hive of activity going on around it. The flashing lights of the ambulance and the high-visibility vests of the crews already working to free the passengers were like a beacon signalling the location.
From the air it was easy to see the car that had taken the brunt of the damage on the passenger side. Although they wouldn’t be sure what they were dealing with until they reached the ground.
The fire service on scene seemed to be concentrating their efforts on that particular vehicle as the air ambulance landed in a field nearby and Cal and Izzy went to join them. The other vehicle in the crash had damage to the front but the driver was receiving treatment in the back of the ambulance.
One of the paramedics came to update them on events and as it had appeared from the outset, the girl still trapped in the car, Stephanie, was the one they were most concerned about. He and Izzy followed him over to the patient and while Cal assessed any visible injury, Izzy made strides to comfort the young woman pinned inside the car.
‘Hi, I’m Izzy, with the air ambulance. Now, the doctor’s just going to take a look at your injuries before we attempt to move you, Stephanie. Okay?’
‘Okay.’ She didn’t sound convinced, but she was conscious and was a point in her favour.
‘I want you to take nice deep breaths, Stephanie.’ Cal crouched down to get as close to her as he could. ‘Can you tell me where the pain is?’
‘My left arm and left leg. They hurt so bad.’ She was crying now but it was Cal’s job to determine whether that was caused by fear or injury.
‘I know they do and we’re going to give you some pain relief, but I can’t see any blood so we’re going to try and get you out of here.’ He gave the fire crew the nod to start cutting the roof so they could get better access to her, but they still had to be careful. Although there was no visible bleeding, there was a chance she could be bleeding internally, and she had most likely broken her arm and leg.
‘There’s going to be a lot of noise and vibration while the crew work on cutting the roof of the car, Stephanie.’ Izzy reached in and held her hand until the roof finally came off.
‘Good girl. You’re doing really well. I know it hurts, but we need to get you to the helicopter.’ Izzy kept her vigil at Stephanie’s side, reassuring her she would be all right and providing some comfort to the frightened girl. It struck him more in that moment than ever what a great mum she was going to make. Her compassion and nurturing side was everything a kid could want in its mother. He should know. He had his own parents to hold up as a shining example of how family life should be. It was a shame he apparently hadn’t carried on that legacy when he was avoiding the subject of becoming a dad himself.
‘I need some help here to get her onto the stretcher.’ He concentrated on the job he was
good at, administering some strong pain relief to the patient before they attempted extrication, and called the other paramedics and fire crew to assist with the transfer. ‘Ready. Brace. Roll.’
They worked together to get her onto the stretcher, causing as little pain as possible in the circumstances. Izzy put a splint on Stephanie’s injured arm and they put a pelvic binder around her to protect against any internal bleeding. Once she was stabilised as best they could manage, Cal again asked for assistance in carrying her over to the ambulance.
‘Ready. Brace. Go.’ They moved in synch, ensuring they didn’t jolt her about too much, and Izzy radioed in a progress report and an ETA of their arrival at the nearest hospital.
When it came to work, and life-or-death situations, Izzy’s confidence and decisiveness were exactly what was needed. In her personal life, however, that assertiveness that she could do everything on her own was ticking him off. He mightn’t be the daddy-to-be she wanted for her children, but he wasn’t Gerry either. Izzy should know him better than believing he’d walk away from this pregnancy because it was inconvenient. He had no intention of leaving her to pick up the pieces alone. As long as she dropped those defences enough to see the idea to move in was for her benefit, not his.
Janet had broken everything important in him beyond repair—his trust, his belief that he could replicate the happy family he’d grown up in, and, crucially, that urge in him to be a father at all. Still, she hadn’t managed to take away the basic desire to be a decent human being. The mother of his future children was in trouble and he was going to do right by her.
If being broke, alone and pregnant with twins had been an illness, Izzy wouldn’t have thought twice about finding a cure. Cal knew he wasn’t perfect but as far as he could see he was the best option she had, and he would do his best to make her see that. They were in this together whether they liked it or not.
* * *
It was getting harder for Izzy to switch off after a shift. Stephanie was young, and she would heal with time, but that initial phone call to let Stephanie’s parents know what had happened had been painful. She’d asked Izzy to make the call for her and to play down her injuries, but her mother’s fear had been almost palpable. Izzy wasn’t a parent yet, but this pregnancy was already changing her in ways she hadn’t prepared for and she knew once the babies were here their safety would be the only thing that mattered to her. There were only six months before they arrived, and she had nothing in place for them except uncertainty.
To his credit, Cal hadn’t pushed her any more on moving in with him and had been willing to talk over her concerns regarding their patient’s prognosis in a debriefing session on the ride back from the handover at the hospital, leaving her free from any additional worries to keep her awake at night.
‘Your usual?’ Cal rested his hand on her back the second they made it back to base.
She nodded, having become accustomed to their sober chats. It wasn’t as though they’d been in the habit of rolling home steaming drunk, but the nature of their relationship had changed along with their drinking habits. They’d become more than mates when she’d gone to him about the double life she’d discovered Gerry had been leading and now they had a connection that went beyond an emotional level.
Regardless of her vow to do everything single-handedly when that little blue line had appeared on the pregnancy test, Cal had made her realise how much she needed that level of support. His company alone reminded her she wasn’t alone, even if she didn’t intend forcing him to do it on a permanent basis.
‘Tea and a chat is exactly what I need right now,’ she said as she pushed open the office door.
‘Good because that’s exactly why I’m here.’ It took a few seconds for the sight of the blonde woman standing in the room to register with Izzy, and when it did she flung herself at her childhood friend.
‘Helen? What on earth are you doing here?’ she managed to sob out in the midst of the bear hug.
‘Your friend Calum here persuaded me to pay a visit and clearly he was right. You’re not yourself. What on earth is wrong, Iz? I’ve never seen you like this.’ Helen prised her off to take a good look at her.
Izzy glanced at a sheepish Cal. ‘But how...?’
‘I thought you might need a friend.’
She did but she hadn’t realised he’d been taking notes when she’d mentioned Helen, never mind take the time out to track her down. He’d obviously been concerned on more than a practical level about her welfare. Simply finding out he knew that much about her life and cared enough to make that contact instantly perked up her mood. Although he hadn’t been gushing about becoming a father, his actions showed he was thinking very deeply about how this was affecting her. She hoped that was a sign he’d eventually warm to the idea of being a father beyond a superficial level, but he clearly hadn’t shared their most important news.
‘Thank you, Cal.’ Izzy gave him a swift peck on the cheek to show her appreciation for his thoughtfulness and counted herself lucky to have these two special people in her life. Her babies deserved to have the same.
‘I’m so happy to see you.’ Izzy turned her attention back to Helen in case effusive thanks made Cal think twice about making such gestures in the future.
‘I didn’t come on my own.’ Helen stepped aside to reveal a gorgeous pram with an even more gorgeous bundle wrapped inside.
‘Oh, my goodness, you brought him with you?’ Helen had given birth six months ago, just before Gerry’s accident, but with everything going on she hadn’t been able to find time to go and visit the new arrival. There was also a part of her afraid to see first-hand the trials she’d yet to face as a new mum.
‘We thought we’d have a day out on the train to see Auntie Isobel and let Daddy catch up on some sleep.’
The thought that her friend had trekked the whole way here with a baby to surprise her overwhelmed Izzy with the fuzzy warmth of a love she’d forgotten existed. Helen was her bestie, a sister and a mother all wrapped in one. If it hadn’t been for her, Izzy wouldn’t have known love existed at all. She was the one good thing Izzy had had in her childhood and the only connection from that time she didn’t want to lose. They’d kept in touch, but text messages and video calls weren’t the same as a much-needed hug.
‘And who’s this?’ Cal asked, peering into the pram where the baby was grizzling.
‘This is Oliver and it’s nearly time for his dinner.’ Helen lifted him out of the pram as he made his impatience known at having to wait another second for his next feed.
‘Feel free to feed him in here. We’ll make sure everyone gives you some privacy.’
‘I hope I’m not putting you out, Iz, by turning up here unannounced? I just wanted to see you.’ Helen slung the changing bag over her shoulder and manoeuvred baby and pram out the door Cal was holding open.
‘Not at all. I’m glad you came. Our shift’s over so give us a minute to get changed out of our gear then we can go somewhere for a catch-up.’
‘Will you be joining us, Calum?’ As subtle as ever, Helen extended the invitation, no doubt in the hope she could pair him off with Izzy. Since she’d become a happy married she’d expected Izzy to join the club with her. Perhaps it was Helen’s blissful experience of marriage that had convinced Izzy to stick it out with Gerry and hope they could eventually achieve the same idyll. Izzy hadn’t told her about the pregnancy but that would likely fuel her search for a hubby for her and she certainly didn’t need any more encouragement where Cal Armstrong was concerned.
‘Um...’
‘Of course he will. You haven’t got anything else to do have you, Cal?’ She knew he didn’t and it was important he get used to being part of her personal life. Biology had dictated he was included in this family of hers, but she was going to make sure he was connected to these babies by more than duty to do the right thing. Love was a staple of a happy childhood and, a
s she knew too well, life was miserable without it. She wasn’t prepared to enter into any sort of arrangement without a guarantee he was in for the long haul.
With Cal along for their coffee date she’d also be less likely to find herself telling Helen about his offer. The last thing she needed was someone egging her on to do something as outrageous as moving in with the reluctant father to her unborn children.
‘Actually, I do. That’s why I brought Helen here,’ he answered with a scowl, dashing any hope he could be cajoled into being part of her life, or their children’s.
* * *
It was typical that as soon as they got settled with coffee and cake, baby Oliver woke up from his afternoon nap. Helen was trying to soothe him with one hand pushing the pram up and down whilst trying to inject herself with caffeine with the other. However, Oliver’s wails continued to disrupt the other customers.
‘Can I lift him out so you can finish your coffee in peace?’ Izzy was itching to get her hands on the chubby-cheeked cherub for some cuddles. She couldn’t wait for the time when she could do this any time she pleased.
‘Go for it.’ Helen seemed glad to have an extra pair of hands so she could have a break, and Izzy knew when she had two babies to take care of she’d have her work cut out for her. But she didn’t care. Her life would finally have purpose and meaning, not to mention love.
Izzy scooped the wriggling bundle out from under his blanket cocoon and the screaming ceased once he was in the cradle of her arms.
‘You just wanted to see what was going on, didn’t you?’ She was lost in those big blue eyes as he stared up at her, putting his trust in her to take care of him.
‘Okay, now spill.’ It took Helen a nanosecond to make it clear she knew there was something going on with her.
‘I think someone might need a nappy change.’ Izzy held Oliver out as a buffer, preventing his mother from probing for the truth.
