by Karin Baine
‘’Course. Why wouldn’t I be?’ She frowned at him, a warning to mind his own business at work. He knew better than to let personal problems encroach on this already too-small space and make it even more claustrophobic. The pile of bills he thought was her only problem was definitely not something that warranted a discussion here. Especially when she was doing her best not to think about the little bundle who was about to throw her life into more chaos.
Cal gave her the thumbs up as they landed, and she considered the matter closed for now when there was a patient needing their help.
They hiked up the street with their gear to the house with the door already lying open.
‘Let’s hope someone had the foresight to administer first aid.’ It was Cal who said it, although Izzy was thinking the same thing. Providing that immediate care in the aftermath of a burn could make all the difference to the long-term damage.
‘I’m sure the switchboard operator would’ve given them instructions on cooling the burn under tepid water.’ They didn’t know how serious the burns were but with a child involved the stakes were that much higher. Skin grafts, infection and plastic surgery were all possible, depending on the extent of the burns, and not something a parent would want their baby to go through.
‘Hello. Air ambulance crew here,’ Cal called into the house as they made their entry.
‘We’re upstairs in the bathroom.’ A woman appeared at the top of the stairs and beckoned them up where there was a group of adults crowded around a sobbing child.
‘Okay, could we ask everyone to give us a bit of room, please?’ The bathroom was cramped enough for them to work in so Izzy needed to clear out those taking up unnecessary space. Eventually the other family members shuffled out until there was only the child and her parents remaining.
‘Hi, I’m Doctor Cal. What’s your name?’ Cal knelt down beside the youngster, who was trembling and crying as she stood in the bath while her father was hosing her down with a shower head.
‘This is Suzy,’ her father volunteered, and shut off the water so they could assess her injuries.
‘I hear there was an accident with a barbecue?’ Although Cal took the lead, Izzy was there to back him up and give assistance where it was needed.
Dad nodded. ‘The kids were running about, and she tripped and fell into the barbecue. She stuck her hand out to break the fall and I think that’s where most of the damage was done.’
Whilst Cal was inspecting the upper-body burns that had left angry red marks across her chest and shoulders, Izzy gently took her hand to assess the extent of the burns.
‘Where do you hurt most, Suzy?’
The child lifted her hand up and Izzy could see where it was beginning to blister.
‘We’re going to give you something to help with the pain, sweetheart. Cal, do you want to take a look at this?’
His brow furrowed too, and it was clear he wasn’t any happier than she was at the sight. ‘The chest and shoulder burns I would say are only two per cent partial thickness so we can dress those but I’d prefer a specialist to take a look at that hand. In the meantime, can we get a line in for some pain relief?’
One of the bonuses of transporting patients by helicopter was that they could take them directly to the best centre to treat their injury. In this case they could take little Suzy to the burns unit where plastic surgeons would be there to assess her injury and treat her straight away to limit permanent damage.
‘Suzy, you’re just going to feel a wee scratch in your hand. We need to give you something to help with the pain. Perhaps Dad can just hold you steady for me? Good girl.’ Izzy administered the drugs as instructed by Cal, which would hopefully go some way to making the child comfortable again. It was difficult to watch her suffer and Izzy felt for the mother, who was standing nearby, whispering soothing words to comfort her child, though she must’ve been racked with guilt and anxiety herself.
Izzy understood motherhood wasn’t an easy job when so many had failed her in her childhood, but she was looking forward to the challenges ahead. She wanted her child to know its mother would be there come what may and would relish that role of being needed, bringing a sense of security she’d never experienced herself.
‘Dad, are you okay to carry her out to the helicopter? Then we’re going to take a quick ride to the hospital. Have you ever been on a helicopter, Suzy?’ Cal got them organised and on the move whilst Izzy checked in with the control room to update them on their progress and route.
‘No, she hasn’t, and neither have I.’ Suzy’s dad gave a nervous laugh.
‘There’s nothing to worry about. We’ll be at the hospital in twenty minutes tops.’ Half the time it would’ve taken an ambulance and it cut out all the transfers between departments. Izzy knew if it was her daughter she’d be only too glad to have Cal and the helicopter at hand to administer treatment. He was a calm, assured presence in the storm and Izzy hoped that remained true for the one he was about to enter with her.
* * *
Once they landed, Cal and Izzy worked together to unbuckle their passengers and get them out of the helicopter. They hurried with the stretcher towards the team waiting for the transfer, but the ground was greasy after the earlier downpour of rain and in Izzy’s haste she slipped and landed on her back.
‘Izzy, are you all right?’ Cal hesitated and offered a hand to help her to her feet, but she was winded and a little disorientated.
‘Go. Go.’ She waved him on, their patient a priority here, but made no move to get up.
Instead, she lay back and rested her hands protectively on her belly. It was early days and she’d hit the ground hard, as indicated by the pain shooting up her spine.
Those darned hedgehogs were back, pricking her eye sockets and trying to make her cry again, as she wondered if she had been taking too many risks after all. If she hadn’t been one hundred per cent sure about wanting this baby, the prospect of having harmed it confirmed it was all she wanted. She needed to know it was safe in there, protected from her stupidity and two left feet. At least she was in the best place possible to find out.
She heard a male voice utter an expletive and looked up to find Cal standing over her. ‘You really hurt yourself, huh?’
He bent down and eased her up into a sitting position. That small act of support was enough to tip her emotionally over the edge. One crack in her defences and the dam broke, tears gushing down her face for the first time since Gerry’s funeral.
‘I’m pregnant, Cal.’ She was finally admitting it now in the hope it made this baby real and lessened the possibility of something happening to it.
* * *
‘Okay. Okay. We’ll get you into the emergency room and I’m sure they can arrange an ultrasound for you to make sure baby’s all right. How far along are you?’ Cal did his best to remain calm, so he didn’t freak her out more than she already was. Regardless, that was exactly what he was doing on the inside.
‘Three months.’
Perhaps it was the shock of her news, but it took a moment for it all to sink in for Cal. Gerry had died over five months ago so the baby couldn’t be his. On the other hand, he and Izzy had slept together more recently. Say, three months give or take a few days. His heart tried to take a flying leap out of his mouth. This was his baby. He was going to be a father.
There were a few seconds when he thought he was going to pass out from the sheer significance of what she’d told him. It was cruel timing to discover a one-night stand with his work colleague had resulted in an unplanned pregnancy so soon after the drama of his cheating fiancée and a baby that had turned out not to be his.
Not long ago this news would have made his day. He’d been looking forward to fatherhood since his own parents had died, but circumstances had changed. Along with his outlook on life. He was still reeling from Janet’s abuse of his trust and he definitely wasn’t ready to
be thrown into another drama. Especially one as life-changing as fathering a baby.
He was still scarred by having his last family torn away from him and there was no way of telling how that could manifest itself as this pregnancy progressed. The trauma and loss wasn’t something he’d get over easily and it was going to be difficult for him to get used to the idea of becoming a father again when Janet had forever tainted that picture of having a happy family.
It was important to remember this wasn’t the ideal scenario for Izzy either after losing Gerry. They were going to have to work together to make sure this baby wasn’t affected by the personal baggage they were both carrying from their pasts.
‘I’m sorry.’ As he got staff to help him transfer her to a stretcher and take her inside, she kept apologising, and he knew why. Izzy was such an empathetic person she was more worried about how the pregnancy would affect him than her.
‘You have absolutely nothing to apologise for. We both messed up. The timing isn’t the greatest, and neither are the circumstances, but the damage has been done.’ He thought he saw her flinch at his choice of words, but he preferred to deal in the truth these days. This wasn’t exactly a joyous occasion for either of them, rather something they were going to have to learn to live with.
They didn’t love each other, and all indications would suggest she’d rather forget the night they’d apparently conceived this baby. It wasn’t the family he’d planned on having but it wasn’t one he could pretend wasn’t happening either.
* * *
Later, as they transferred for the ultrasound it struck Cal how vulnerable Izzy looked. Once he’d got over his initial shock he could see how frightened she was, tears still falling from her red-rimmed eyes and her hands wringing her handkerchief into knots. For once she was the one who needed support rather than being the one who always provided it.
He squeezed her hand as the sonographer applied gel over her stomach to let her know he was there. If she hadn’t wanted him with her she would’ve made it clear a long time ago.
‘If this baby is as tough as its mum, it’s not going to be bothered by one wee fall.’
His reassurance was rewarded with a crooked smile, but she was gripping his hand like a vice, further indication that she wanted him with her. It was survival instinct that made him want to disengage her hand from his and turn his back on the epic responsibility of becoming a parent after past experiences. They weren’t even in a relationship, therefore giving her more reason to walk out the door when a better option came along. In the end it was his loyalty to Izzy that saw him stick around. This was a second chance for him to be a friend to her and give her the support she needed.
She turned her head to watch the screen as the sonographer moved the Doppler over her slightly rounded belly. Cal had been blind to the obvious signs of her pregnancy, which he would’ve spotted if he didn’t spend so much time in his own head, wallowing in the past or trying to keep her at arm’s length. The sickness, the unexpected emotional displays, not to mention the recent aversion to alcohol and greasy food, were blatant clues, along with her new curves.
Watching that hazy blob on the screen come to life brought up so many emotions he had to swallow before he started wailing. It should have been such an exciting time, seeing his baby for the first time, but this was the second time he’d been here. The memories of sitting here, holding Janet’s hand, were too painful for him to enjoy the moment, even when the heartbeat sounded out around the room to let them know everything was all right. He was relieved, of course, but emotionally he was just kind of numb.
Izzy’s sobs let him know she would love this baby enough for the two of them if it came to it. He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it, so she knew he wasn’t angry at the situation they’d found themselves in and pleased that the baby was going to be okay.
Then he noticed the frown on the sonographer’s face and the quick movement of the Doppler further over Izzy’s stomach. She hadn’t missed it either.
‘What’s wrong? I thought the baby was okay?’ Her eyes were wide with panic and she almost cut off the circulation in his fingers with her grip. Cal’s own breath stilled as they waited for a reply.
‘You haven’t had your twelve-week scan yet?’
Izzy shook her head. ‘I didn’t get around to organising that yet.’
The sonographer turned the monitor around for them to see, a smile now evening out her wrinkled forehead as the heartbeat rang out loud and clear once more.
‘They’ll be able to give you a more accurate reading and confirm dates with you, but I do have some news I can share with you.’
‘What? What is it?’ It was Cal’s turn to voice his concern. He hadn’t remained detached from this after all as a swell of nausea rose up inside him at the thought the baby was in any sort of jeopardy.
‘I was confirming a healthy heartbeat, but I’ve found more than one. Meet baby number two.’ She turned the screen round so they could see the evidence for themselves.
‘You mean...twins?’ Izzy’s mouth fell open in a half laugh, half sob as it was confirmed with a nod.
‘Wow.’ It was all he could manage in the wake of the bombshell. Two babies at once. A ready-made family neither of them had planned.
He could see the second reality hit home for her too.
‘What am I going to do, Cal?’ Struggling for money and now with the prospect of having two children to support, she was turning to him for help. She wouldn’t have asked unless she was desperate when she was always so single-minded about controlling her own life. It wasn’t a plea he would ignore. These babies were as much his responsibility as they were hers. Neither of them had any family around, or had any intention of getting into another relationship anytime soon. It seemed to him there was only one logical solution to their current situation.
‘You’ll just have to move in with me.’
CHAPTER THREE
‘IT WOULDN’T HURT to think about it. At least until you’re back on your feet financially.’ Cal was sitting in the chair opposite Izzy in the control room back at base with his feet on the desk, waiting for the next call and driving her to distraction in the meantime.
It was impossible for her to relax since he’d first made that ridiculous suggestion she move in with him to help solve her money problems. Of course, she’d eventually shot him down at the hospital, convinced it had been the shock talking after finding out she was expecting twins. The news had affected her so much she’d almost accepted in the heat of the moment.
It would’ve been easy to say yes and line up a partner to share the bills and parenting responsibilities but shacking up together for the sake of convenience wouldn’t have been fair. Especially to her, when it would give her false hope they could pick up where they’d left off that night in his house. He’d made it clear that wasn’t going to be an option, regardless of the new complication in their lives. Every time she thought that attraction between them was raising its head, he backed off, and she had to get it out of her head they could be anything more than friends or she’d never move on from that night.
Cal wasn’t promising her that they’d live happily ever after together. In fact, he’d yet to acknowledge wanting to take on any sort of parenting role. This sounded more like offering a friend a sofa to kip on when they were down on their luck. She supposed she should be grateful for that much when he could hardly bring himself to touch her, much less declare his undying love for her, since they’d slept together.
‘You know as well as I do it’s a foolish notion. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t bring it up at work where someone could overhear.’ With sharp reflexes she shot out her hand to catch the rubber ball he was bouncing off the wall before the repetitive thud gave her a migraine. It was fair to say it didn’t take a lot to rile her these days when she was so full of stress and worry.
‘Uh...there’s no one here. Mac’s
on his break.’ Smartass had an answer for everything when he knew very well she didn’t want him bringing this up again regardless of who was around. This wasn’t a matter for gossip fodder or outlandish proposals born of a misguided sense of duty. It was her life.
Izzy unclenched her fist and the ball pinged back into shape. As it turned out, it was a pretty good stress reliever. It saved her wringing anyone’s neck.
‘You know what I mean. We spend half of our lives talking over headsets and I don’t want anything accidentally slipping out. My private life is just that and I’ll tell people about the pregnancy in my own time. As for moving in together, we’re definitely keeping that between us before anyone gets carried away with the idea.’ Her included.
He was saying all the right words but since finding out about Gerry’s secret life she’d learned to look beyond mere lip service. Cal was the sort of man who would fulfil his obligations no matter what the personal cost was to him, but she didn’t want him to feel trapped. Neither did she want someone else promising her the world and getting her hopes up about playing happy families, only to have them cruelly dashed further down the line.
Her reservations seemed justified when he wasn’t giving off the same vibes he had when he’d announced Janet’s pregnancy. It was understandable he wouldn’t be as excited this time around after everything that had happened, but she didn’t see that same desire in him to be a father any more. Her babies deserved the very best she could give them and that didn’t include a reluctant dad. She knew what it was like to grow up somewhere you weren’t completely wanted, and she vowed to do better by her children as a parent. Even if that meant raising them alone.
Cal’s offer might be a temporary solution to her problems, but she knew it would be setting them up for future ones.
‘I don’t see why you’re so against the idea.’ He withdrew his long limbs from the desk and sat up in the chair, no longer appearing so relaxed.
