Lord John and the Brotherhood of the Blade

by Diana Gabaldon

"You must see a doctor, John," Lucinda said, lowering the fan and giving him the benefit of her lovely eyes, set in open distress at his condition.

  "I don't want a doctor."

  "There is a very good man of my acquaintance," Walpole said, as though struck by inspiration. "A specialist in weaknesses of the chest. I should be more than delighted to provide an introduction."

  "How kind of you, Horry! I am sure anyone you recommend must be a marvel." Lucinda opened her fan in gratitude.

  Grey, who was not so far gone as to be unable to spot gross conspiracy and very bad acting, rolled up his eyes.

  "Give me the name," he said, in apparent resignation. "I shall write for an appointment."

  "Oh, no need," Walpole said cheerfully. "Dr. Humperdinck expresses the keenest interest in making your acquaintance. I'll send my coach for you, at three o'clock tomorrow."

  "And I," Lucinda put in swiftly, fixing him with a gimlet eye, "will be here to ensure that you get into it."

  "Short of drowning myself in the fishpond, I see there is no escape," Grey said, with a sigh. "All right."

  Lucinda looked flabbergasted, and then alarmed, at this sudden capitulation. In fact, he simply hadn't the strength to make more than a token resistance--nor, he discovered, did he really care. What did it matter?

  "Mr. Walpole," he said, nodding toward the table, "I fear that my nephew Henry is about to drink your fish."

  In the excitement occasioned by the rescue and subsequent ceremonious installation of the fish in their new home, Grey was able to make an inconspicuous departure, and went to sit in the library.

  He was still there, an unread play by Moliere open on his knee, when a shadow fell over him, and he looked up to see the Honorable Horace Walpole again. Walpole was a slight man, and much too frail in appearance to loom over anyone; he simply stood by Grey's chair.

  "It is a terrible thing," Walpole said quietly, all affectation gone.

  "Yes."

  "I spoke with my brother." That would be the Earl of Orford, Grey supposed; Walpole was the youngest son of the late prime minister, and had three brothers, but only the eldest had any influence--though a great deal less than his father had had.

  "He cannot help before the trial, but...if"--Walpole hesitated, ever so briefly, having obviously made a split-second decision to substitute "if" for "when"--"your..." A longer hesitation.

  "My brother," Grey said quietly.

  "If he is condemned, the earl will make what recommendations he can toward clemency. And I do have...other friends at court, though my own influence is not great. I will do what I can. I promise you that, at least."

  Walpole was not at all handsome, having a receding chin and a high, rather flat brow, but he was possessed of intelligent dark eyes, usually alive with interest or mischief. Now they were quiet, and very kind.

  Grey couldn't speak. It was a risk for Walpole to be connected in any way with such an affair. He lived quietly, and his own affairs never came to public notice, nor ever would. For him to sacrifice his discretion so far as to involve himself in what would be a notorious case was a remarkable gesture, and Grey was not a personal friend, though Walpole's father had of course been a close friend to the duke.

  He doubted that Walpole knew or suspected anything regarding his own nature, let alone his relationship with Percy. Even if he did, he would never speak of it, no more than Grey would mention Thomas Gray, the poet who had been Walpole's lover for years.

  He put up his hand, and gripped Walpole's for an instant in thanks. Walpole smiled, a sudden, charming smile.

  "Do go and see Humperdinck," he said. "He will do you good, I am sure of it."

  He had felt the name "Humperdinck" vaguely familiar, but had not at first recollected its associations, and was thus surprised to find himself face to face with the gentleman he had last seen in a state of prostration on the sofa at White's, half frozen and wig askew, suffering the effects of some seizure.

  Dr. Humperdinck was now pink and healthy, showing only traces of his misadventure: a slight hesitation of speech, a drooping left eyelid, and a dragging left foot that caused him to walk with a stick. He laid this object aside and sat down in his consulting room, bidding Grey do likewise.

  "Lord John Grey," he said, looking his new patient over with thoughtful, clear blue eyes. "I know you, do I not? But I cannot recall the occasion of our meeting. I hope you will pardon my lack of manners--I suffered an accident last winter, an apoplexy of sorts, and since have discovered that my memory is not what it once was."

  "I recall the occasion," Grey said, smiling. "It was on the pavement outside White's."

  The doctor blinked, astonished.

  "Was it? You were present?"

  "Yes, my brother and myself."

  The doctor seized his hand and wrung it.

  "My dear sir! I am so happy to meet you again. Not only for the natural pleasure of the occasion, but because I do remember you! I had thought all memory of the evening of my accident quite gone--and here is a piece of it after all! Bless me, sir, you have given me hope that perhaps other memories may also return in time!"

  "I'm sure I hope they will," Grey said, smiling. The doctor's patent joy at remembering eased his own melancholy for a moment--though there were many things he would himself prefer to forget.

  "You do not recall where you were going that night?" Grey asked curiously, taking off his coat and unfastening his shirt at the doctor's request. Humperdinck shook his head, fumbling in his pocket.

  "No, I have not..." He straightened up, a small sharp instrument of some sort in his hand and a look of astonishment on his face.

  "White's," he whispered, as though to himself. Then his gaze sharpened, returning to Grey with renewed excitement.

  "White's!" he cried, seizing Grey's hand once again and disregarding the presence of the instrument in his own hand.

  "Ouch!"

  "Oh, I do beg your pardon, sir, have I cut you? No, no, all is well, no more than a slight nick, a bandage will fix it.... They told me I had been found outside White's Chocolate House, of course, but hearing you speak the name, in your own voice--White's!" he exclaimed again in glee. "I was going to White's!"

  "But--" Grey caught himself in time from saying, "But you are not a member there," for if he had been, Holmes, the club's steward, would have recognized the doctor at once. "Were you meeting someone there?" he asked, instead.

  The doctor pursed his lips, thinking fiercely--but gave it up within a moment as a bad job.

  "No," he said regretfully, fishing a clean bandage from his drawer. "I suppose that I must have been, but I have no recollection of it. But if so, surely the gentleman I was going to meet would have recognized me? Ah, well, I must just let it be; perhaps more memories will return to me of their own accord. Patience is a great virtue, after all," he said philosophically.

  Half an hour later, he had finished his examination, conducted with the most cordial and attentive questions, and returned to his earlier statement of principle.

  "Patience, Lord John," he said firmly. "Patience is the best medicine, in almost all cases; I recommend it highly--though it is surprising how few people are able to take that particular medicine."

  He laughed jovially. "They think that healing must come from blade or bottle--and sometimes it does, sometimes it does. But for the most part, I am convinced that the body heals itself. And the mind," he added thoughtfully, with a sideways glance at Grey that made him wonder uncomfortably just how much of his own mind the doctor had perceived in the course of their conversation.

  "So you do not feel that the remaining fragments are dangerous?" he asked, buttoning his shirt.

  The doctor made a moue of professional equivocation.

  "One can never say for certain about such things, Lord John--but I think not. I hope not. I believe the occasional pain you suffer is only the result of an irritation of the nerves--quite harmless. It should pass away, in time."

  "In time," Grey muttered to himse
lf, on the way back to Argus House. That was well enough, so far as his body was concerned. Being assured that he was likely not about to die had worked wonders; he felt no pain at all in either chest or arm. But as for his mind...there, time was growing very short indeed.

  Chapter 31

  Nota Bene

  Grey found himself improved in spirits after his visit to Humperdinck, but still at loose ends. Not yet healed enough to return to his duties, and lacking any useful occupation, he drifted. He would set out for the Beefsteak, and find himself wandering round the edge of Hyde Park or suddenly among the shouts of costermongers in Covent Garden. He would sit down to read, and come to himself an hour later to find the fire burnt down to embers and the book on his knee, still open at the first page.

  It was not melancholy. That abyss was still visible to him, but he resolutely looked away from it, back turned to its beckoning verge. This was something different; a sense of suspended animation, as though he was waiting for something without which he could not continue his life--and yet with no idea what that something might be, and no notion how to find it.

  His daily correspondence these days was scanty; those friends who had expressed sympathy and extended invitations upon his return had been discouraged by his continued refusals, and while a few stubborn souls continued to call or write--Lucinda Joffrey, for one--they left him alone for the most part.

  He therefore looked at the letter the butler laid beside his plate with a faint curiosity. It didn't bear an official seal, thank God, or have the look of anything pertaining to the regiment. If it had, he reflected, he should have been tempted to put it into the fire. He daily expected notification of Percy's court-martial--or his death--and feared to read either one.

  As it was, he waited until the meal was finished, and took the letter with him out into the garden, where he finally opened it beneath a copper beech. It was from Dr. Humperdinck; he caught sight of the signature, and would have crumpled the letter in disgust, had he not also caught sight of the opening sentence.

  I have remembered, it began simply.

  Grey sat down slowly, letter in hand.

  My dear Lord John--

  I have remembered. Not everything, assuredly; there are still considerable lacunae in my recollection. But I recalled quite suddenly this morning the name of the man I was to meet at White's. It was Arthur Longstreet, and I have it firmly in my mind that I was called to a medical consultation with him.

  My mind is unfortunately still a blank, though, with regard to the matter he desired to consult me upon, and also to his occupation and address.

  I think I have not met him, as I have no face to attach to this name, and thus must have been summoned by letter--though if that be the case, it is not among my correspondence.

  Are you by chance acquainted with Mr. Longstreet? If so, I should be very much obliged if you would send me his direction, that I might write and explain matters. I hesitate to impose upon you, but since I have the impression that it was a medical matter, I did not wish to make inquiries at White's and thus perhaps expose Mr. Longstreet's privacies inadvertently. Of course, if you do not know the gentleman, I shall do that, but I dare to presume upon our acquaintance and your good nature to begin with.

  With my greatest thanks, I remain

  Your obt. servant,

  Henryk van Humperdinck

  Grey was still sitting under the copper beech when one of the footmen came out with a tea tray.

  "My lord? Mrs. Stubbs says you will take some refreshment." Grey was preoccupied, but not so much so as not to notice the firmly directive phrasing of this particular statement.

  "Does she?" he said dryly. He picked up the cup and sniffed cautiously. Chamomile. He made a face and poured it into the perennial bed.

  "Do thank my cousin for her kind solicitude, Joe." He stood up, picked up one of the pastries, discovered it to be filled with raspberries, and put it back. Raspberries made him itch. He took a piece of bread and butter, instead.

  "And then have the coach brought round, please. I have a call to make."

  Longstreet's house was a modest one. Men of means did not become army surgeons, and while Longstreet's cousin was evidently able to place twenty-thousand-pound wagers, Grey noted, the doctor's branch of the family must be significantly less wealthy.

  He had never heard whether Longstreet was married. A middle-aged female servant admitted him, looking surprised, and pottered off in search of the doctor, leaving Grey in a small, neat parlor whose walls, shelves, and cases held the souvenirs of a man who had spent much of his life abroad: a set of German beer steins, a trio of French enameled snuffboxes, a series of case knives inlaid with elaborate marquetry, four grotesque masks, garishly decorated with paint and horsehair, whose origin he did not recognize.... Evidently, Longstreet liked matched sets.

  Grey hoped this tendency implied a desire on the doctor's part for completeness.

  A halting step and a wheezing breath announced the arrival of the artifacts' owner. Longstreet was diminished physically, Grey saw, but still himself. Normally lean, he was thinner now, the bones of face and wrist sharp as blades, and his skin gone a strange shade of gray that seemed faintly blue in the rainy light of the window. The doctor leaned heavily on a stick, and his housekeeper watched him with a certain tenseness of body that suggested he might fall, but she made no move to help him, though from her face she would have liked to.

  The eyes, though, were unchanged: clear, a little angry, half amused. Not at all surprised.

  "How are you, Lord John?" he asked.

  "Well, I thank you." Grey inclined his head. "And I do thank you," he added politely. "I gather that you are in large part responsible for my survival." Whether you meant to be or not, he thought.

  Longstreet nodded, and eased himself down into an armchair, from the depths of which he surveyed Grey sardonically.

  "You were...somewhat more fortunate than I." He touched his laboring chest briefly. "Bullet through...both lungs."

  "I regret to hear it," Grey said, meaning it. Longstreet gestured toward the other chair, and he pulled it forward and sat down.

  "Have you consulted Dr. Humperdinck regarding your condition?" he asked. It was as good an opening as any.

  Longstreet raised one iron-gray brow.

  "Humperdinck? Me? Why?"

  "He is an expert in conditions of the chest, is he not?"

  Longstreet stared at him for a moment, then began to wheeze in an alarming manner.

  "Is...that what...they...told you?" he managed at last, and Grey realized that he was laughing. "Who-whoever sent you to him?"

  "Yes," Grey said, becoming mildly irritated. "He is not?"

  Longstreet suffered a brief coughing fit, and clapped a handkerchief to his mouth, shaking his head.

  "No," he wheezed at last, and breathed heavily for a moment before continuing. "He is a specialist in mental disorders, par-particularly those of a melancho-cholic disposition." Longstreet looked him over, openly amused. "Was he of...help?"

  "Oddly enough, yes." Grey kept any hint of an edge from his voice, suppressing a burst of annoyance at Lucinda Joffrey. "He sent me to you."

  "He did?" The sharp gray eyes went suddenly wary. "Why? He does not know me."

  "No?" Grey thought it politic not to describe Dr. Humperdinck's disordered memory--just yet. "Then why did you summon him to meet you at White's, on the evening when I first met you there?"

  His own mind had been momentarily disordered by the revelation of Humperdinck's specialty, but was now working again. In fact, his sense of reason had suddenly reasserted itself, after what seemed months of absence, and the sheer relief of being able to think logically again was like water in the desert.

  Longstreet had pressed the handkerchief to his mouth again, and was coughing, but it was apparent to Grey that this was no more than a gambit to gain time in which to think--and he did not propose to allow such advantage.

  "You did not--I am sure--seek his professional o
pinion with regard to yourself," he said. "So it was for someone else. Someone who would not or could not go to Humperdinck on his own account." He watched Longstreet's face carefully, but saw no flash of wariness or satisfaction at the word "his." Good, so it was not a woman; he had thought it might be a wife or mistress, which would likely be no concern of his.

  Longstreet had taken away the handkerchief from his face, and was watching Grey through narrowed eyes, plainly trying to think how much Dr. Humperdinck might have told him.

  "A doctor's patients are entitled to confidentiality," he said slowly. "I am sure that Dr. Humperdinck would not reveal--"

  "Dr. Humperdinck still experiences some effects of the apoplexy he suffered that night," Grey put in quickly. "Most of his memories have returned, but he is not entirely himself. Alas."

  He smiled faintly, hoping that he left the impression that Humperdinck's judgment and sense of professional ethics had suffered impairment. He regretted impugning the doctor's reputation, even by implication--but reason was a ruthless master, and reason told him there was something here.

  Longstreet pursed his lips, frowning thoughtfully, but no longer at Grey. He was looking at something inside his own head, and appeared to be questioning it. Absently, he reached to the table, where an aged meerschaum pipe lay beside a humidor.

  "The worst of it is that I cannot smoke anymore," he remarked, running a thumb lovingly over the bowl, elegantly carved in the shape of a mermaid. Her pert breasts glowed golden, stroked for years. "A pipe is good for thinking."

  "I must try it sometime," Grey said dryly. "The person for whom you desired Dr. Humperdinck's consultation--"

  "Is dead." The words came down like an ax, severing conversation. Neither man spoke for nearly a minute; Grey heard the faint half-hour chime of his watch in its pocket, but was content to wait.

  Something had been loosed; he felt it, like the sense of a mouse creeping round the corners of a room, but had no notion what it might be. Longstreet's eyes were fixed on his pipe, his mouth pressed tight. He was making up his mind, Grey saw, and to speak too soon or to say the wrong thing might startle the mouse back into its hole. He waited, the sound of Longstreet's wheezing breath just audible above the sound of the fire.