The Ups and Downs of Being Super

by Katrina Kahler

  She nodded firmly, her eyes locked on mine. “Definitely not. I had one of those at the zoo once, by accident…the smell dropped the entire lion exhibition. It was empowering and embarrassing at the same time. If you ever do need to fart…”

  “Mom, I never fart!”

  She looked at me. “If you do need to fart, make sure you do it in a wide open well-aired place. Legend has it that one of our ancestors farted at the Gobi forest.”

  “Mom, the Gobi is a desert,” I said very matter of fact.

  Mom nodded. “It is now!” she replied straight-faced. “Plus, in 1908 your great, great, great, great, great Grandma Carol farted while camping in Siberia. The damage was so bad that scientists believe the place was devastated by an asteroid!”

  “Anything else I should be aware of?” I asked, fighting back a gulp.

  “Sneezing!” Mom said. “Luckily, being super, we are immune to most illnesses, but pepper and some foods can still make us sneeze. Always cover your mouth if it happens. You don’t want to sneeze down a building.”

  I nodded. “I can see why that would be bad.”

  “Yeah, Great Grandma once sneezed over a mountain….”

  “Yikes!” I said. “These powers are kind of cool and scary at the same time!”

  Mom leaned over and hugged me. “Yes, they are. Like I said, being super is wonderful, but at the same time, you have to be cautious. Life always comes with tradeoffs. Plus, you have to keep the power a secret.”

  I leaned back in my chair and laughed. “Yeah, I guess we don’t want to end up part of a secret government program!”

  Mom hugged me again; she really liked to cuddle. "Not just that,” she added. “If people found out, we could do super things they'd either be scared of us or want us to do special favors for them."

  “Never thought of that,” I said.

  She grinned. “That’s why I’m the mom!”

  “So, when will this hit me?” I asked curiously.

  Mom looked at her watch. “Well, you were born at 5 a.m. So anytime after that. It’s not an exact science. Heck, I’m not even sure if it is a science. What I do know is that it’s an amazing gift!”

  “Well, this explains the dreams I’ve been having…about me lifting cars and battling bad guys. I was blaming Jason’s comics.”

  Mom patted me gently on the shoulder. “Nope, that’s your subconscious kicking in and preparing you for what’s to come!”

  “Lovely,” I said.

  Mom looked me in the eyes. “Honey, this will be wonderful; tricky but wonderful. At times, it might be challenging, but challenges are good!” She kissed me on the forehead. “You’ll be great!”

  “I hope you’re right!”

  After dinner, I headed up to my room. To take my mind off my problems, I did my homework. Of course, my English just happened to be reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. A story about kids learning how to deal with a strange world and their powers in that world. Kind of ironic I guess. I went to bed that night half thrilled, half worried. I wasn’t sure if I would still be me when I woke up. Mom had to be exaggerating the problems of being super. She HAD to be.

  After a while, I fell asleep. First of all, I dreamed of leaping through the air. Then the dream became a nightmare when I crashed down in the middle of the city, causing a huge crater. I looked at the hole and said, "Oops, my bad…."

  Morning comes…

  The next thing I knew, I felt something wet on my face desperately trying to wake me up. I forced my eyes to pop open. There stood Shep, licking me. I took a second to collect myself. I still felt like me. Maybe my powers hadn’t kicked in yet. Maybe Mom was wrong about me. Shep persisted in licking me, hoping I’d get up.

  I laughed and said, “Shep, stop!”

  Suddenly he did stop. And when I say stop, I mean he went stiff and fell to the ground with a clunk.

  “MOM!” I shouted.

  Mom leaped up the stairs; she was standing in my doorway in less than a second.

  “MOM! LOOK WHAT I DID TO POOR SHEP! MOM! WHAT DID I DO TO POOR SHEP?”

  Mom staggered back a step and covered her nose. “Super morning bad breath!” she said, shaking her head and bending down to check on our poor dog.

  I stuck my hand over my nose and lips and puffed a little breath into my hand. I crinkled my nose. “Sure my breath is kind of bad, but not bad enough to drop a 120-pound guard dog in his tracks….”

  “Not to you or I, because we’re super, but to non-supers…” She nodded to Shep with her head. “It’s a different story.”

  I sat up in bed. “Is he dead?” I gasped.

  Mom shook her head. She gave Shep a few rapid pats on his chest, and he sprang back to life. I breathed a huge sigh of relief. My breath hit Shep, and he passed out again. Mom rolled her eyes. "Honey, you have to be careful!" She started patting his chest once more.

  “Right!” I said, covering my mouth. “Oh no! Does this mean I’ll never be able to kiss my husband good morning without killing him?”

  Mom smiled. “You’ll learn to control it, especially by the time you get married…many, many years from now.”

  I could only hope Mom was right about this.

  She picked Shep up like he was a little puppy then motioned to the bathroom with her head. “Now, go wash up. And don’t forget your super deodorant. We’ll go over the dos and don’ts again during breakfast.”

  “Right,” I said. I got up and walked to my bathroom door. I grabbed the doorknob and pulled the door off the hinges like it weighed nothing. Yep, this would take some getting used to. “Ah, Mom, maybe I should take a sick day today!”

  Mom smiled and shook her head. “Nonsense. The best way for you to learn to control your powers is to be out in the world. It will force you to concentrate on being careful.” As she walked out of the room, she called over her shoulder. “I’m making your favorite for breakfast, pancakes with blueberries.”

  I could only hope Mom was right. After all, middle school came with enough problems already without me having to worry about farts that actually really were silent but deadly.

  Breakfast Time…

  I hurried into my now doorless bathroom, ready to hit the showers. First, though, I stopped and looked in the mirror above the sink. Yep, I still looked like me…brown hair, blue eyes, a nose that had a zit on it. But then I noticed the zit was gone. Okay, so I guess something good had come from being super.

  I got in the shower and scrubbed and cleaned like I had never done before. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I take my showering very seriously. If you’re a girl in middle school and you smell, you are marked for life. But today I made extra sure I didn't miss a spot.

  After the shower, I used generous portions of Mom’s super deodorant on any part of me that might sweat. I grabbed a red skirt from my cupboard and chose a red and black t-shirt to match it. Because it was my birthday, I decided to accessorize and picked out a beautiful pendant that my great, great grandma had given me. By then, the smell of pancakes had worked its way up to my room. That smell called me down to breakfast.

  I felt relieved to see that Mom really had prepared my favorite breakfast of blueberry pancakes, wheat toast with fruit, and a glass of fresh orange juice. I needed something healthy to start this far from normal day.

  As I ate, Mom lectured. “Okay, controlling your strength is easy as pie.”

  “Is that a medical term, Mom?”

  “Ha ha! Just when squeezing or grabbing a person or thing, take a deep breath and mentally think they are made of fine crystal.”

  “Got it, breathe and take it easy,” I said.

  “Foods to avoid: onions, garlic, beans, anything that could give you bad breath or gas.”

  "Luckily, I'm a girl in middle school, so I normally avoid those anyhow."

  “You used my special deodorant, right?” Mom asked, proudly.

  “Yep!”

  “You packed it in your school bag just in case, right?”

  “Yes, Mom
.”

  She leaned over and gave me a kiss. “Well, I think you’re ready for the world!”

  “Let’s just hope the world is ready for me!” I sighed.

  With that, I heard a knock at the door. “Wait, is that Jason?”

  Mom sniffed the air. “Yes, I can smell his brand of hair gel from here.” Mom pointed to her nose and smiled. “Super sense of smell.”

  I sniffed the air. Now that Mom mentioned it, I could smell it too. “Wow, I had no idea that stuff had such a strong scent,” I pulled out my phone and looked at the time. I had to get moving.

  Leaping up, I grabbed my book bag, took one last sip of juice and kissed Mom goodbye.

  “Are you sure I’m ready for this?”

  She put both her hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. "Lia, nobody is ever ready for this. But you are as ready as you can be. When you get out there in the world with your friends, you will learn and adapt." She smiled. "I'm sure of it!" Kissing me on the forehead, she waved me out of the kitchen.

  I took a deep breath and turned toward the door.

  Same Walk, Different Me…

  Jason rang the doorbell again. My phone buzzed. It was a text from him.

  JASON> I’m here!

  LIA> Yep, figured it out :) Coming!

  JASON> OK

  Funny how HE seemed extra anxious today. I opened the door, and there stood Jason, a smile on his dimpled cheeks and holding a blueberry muffin with a candle in it.

  “Happy Birthday!” he shouted, handing me the muffin. “Blow out the candle!” he coaxed.

  Okay, now this could be tricky. I took the muffin and turned it away from him, just in case I hit it with too much power. I puffed my lips and concentrated on letting out just a little whiff of air. My breath hit the candle, the candle fizzled out and then fell to the ground. I guess it could have been worse.

  “Wow, I see you’re extra pumped today!” Jason said and hugged me.

  I hugged him back, concentrating on being gentle. He didn't yelp in pain, so I think I succeeded. "Thanks!" I said, smiling at him. The muffin and candle had been such a sweet thing to do.

  I bent down and picked up the candle.

  “Now that you’re a full teen, do you feel different?” Jason asked.

  I nodded and smiled. “You’d be surprised!”

  My walk to school with Jason was always the calm before the storm of the day. I liked the fact that we still walked. It gave us time to talk, and it dragged out the start of each day at school.

  “Read any good comic books lately?” I asked him.

  Jason’s face lit up. “What really? Do you really want to know? Usually when I talk about comic books, your face goes kind of blank. I know you're trying to be polite, but comics and superheroes aren’t your favorite things. You always say I like to stay grounded in what’s real." He said that last part by poorly imitating my voice.

  “Wow that was horrible,” I said, giving him a little shove.

  He went flying much farther to the side than I had intended. He staggered to a stop and said, “Impressive!”

  “I’ve been working out. Remember that Captain Wendi Long said I need to pump up,” I told him. “Now, how about those comics?”

  His face lit up. “I’ve been rereading Death of Superman!” he said, almost popping out of his socks with excitement.

  “Wait, Superman dies??”

  Jason nodded. “Yeah, he sacrifices himself to save Earth from an evil clone of himself. The comic is kind of like the movie but better.” Jason must have noticed the look of concern on my face. “But Superman does come back.”

  “Phew,” I said, though really, I had no idea why that made me feel better.

  Suddenly, we heard a loud, angry barking. The barking became louder and louder. Both Jason and I knew who the culprit was. We turned to see, Cuddles, the meanest nastiest Doberman Pincher on Earth, running towards us, fangs out. Cuddles’ owner, a sweet old blue-haired lady named Ms. Jewel, ran after him, desperately trying to stop him.

  “Cuddles! Stop! Stop!” she ordered.

  Cuddles continued to race towards us and the open gate to his lawn.

  “Sorry kids! He got away from me again!” Ms. Jewel called out, puffing after her dog.

  Jason and I both froze in our places. We’d been through this drill before. Cuddles would approach us, sniff us, growl at us. And then decide we were no threat as long as we stayed off his yard. And you can bet that was our plan.

  This time though, when Cuddles got within sniffing range, he jammed to a sudden stop. He looked me in the eyes.

  He then rolled over and whimpered.

  “Now, that’s different!” Jason said.

  “I guess he knows we’re mostly harmless,” I replied, giving myself a quick whiff of my underarms to make sure I still smelled fresh. Thankfully, I did.

  Jason shrugged. We continued on our way to school. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to my mom.

  LIA> OK, that was weird. Cuddles the world’s worst-named dog stopped charging and rolled over when he got a whiff of me, and I don't smell bad at all!

  MOM> That’s because animals can sense our power

  LIA> Good 2 no

  MOM> Honey I know this is a txt but still use the right words, please!

  LIA> Good 2 know

  MOM> Thk u! :)

  Locker Talk…

  Jason and I stood at our lockers pulling out the books we’d need for first and second period while putting away the stuff we wouldn't need. I enjoy morning locker time; it gives me a chance to catch up on what’s going on. I even kind of liked the bright green barf color of the halls. Something about them mixed with the orange lockers made the school look like it had been designed by a colorblind clown. Somehow it was a look that clicked with my tastes.

  One of my friends, Krista Johnson, raced across the hallway towards me. Krista is beautiful, with long wavy blond hair and huge blue eyes. She’s just…how can I say this politely? Forgetful. As usual, I was sure she needed something from me.

  “Hey, Lia! Happy, happy, happy BIRTHDAY!” she squealed, bubbling with excitement. She hugged me. I hugged her back as gently as I could. She didn’t scream. I took that as another good sign. I was really catching on to this super strength stuff. “You smell different,” she said, a curious expression on her face.

  “Ah, new deodorant,” I replied slowly.

  Krista smiled. “Wow, it’s a nice one!”

  “Thanks,” I replied. I was relieved. I only hoped the deodorant kept working as the day dragged on.

  Krista stood there looking at me, tapping her foot.

  “Do you need something, Krista?” Jason asked. Jason wasn’t as patient as I am with her.

  “Not from you silly, from Lia!” Krista looked at me. It kind of reminded me of how a doe looks when it’s confused. “Ah, we have lacrosse practice today. Right?”

  I nodded. “It’s a weekday, so yes, yes we do,” I told her.

  Krista put her arms behind her back and started wobbling back and forth. “Ah, do you like possibly maybe have an extra stick for me to use…I left mine at home. I could run home after practice, but then I’ll be late, and Wendi will yell at me. I don't want that!”

  I turned to my locker. Luckily I always kept an extra lacrosse stick in there, just in case. I pulled out the stick and handed it to Krista.

  “Is that a yes?” Krista asked me.

  “Yes!” Jason and I both answered together.

  Krista took the stick and hugged me again. Of course, she poked Jason and me with the stick. Jason staggered back a step. I didn’t even feel the poke from the stick.

  “Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” Krista said. “I’ll return it once I remember to bring mine!”

  Krista walked away humming.

  “You might not ever see that stick again,” Jason said.

  Tim Dobbs, a short, stocky kid with a brush cut hairstyle, rushed up to his locker. Tim almost always had on headphones and was al
ways running late. Still, he was a good guy. “Hey, Lia, Happy Birthday!” he told me, actually taking his headphones off.

  “Thanks, Tim!” I said.

  Tim gave Jason a nod. “Hey!”

  “Hey!” Jason responded.

  When it comes to male communication, I swear boys aren't much more advanced than cave dwellers.

  “Wow, everybody knows it’s your B-day,” Jason said, nudging me. “You must be famous.”

  “Nah, but I do have Facebook!”

  From behind me, I heard, “Oh, Lia!”

  I knew that perfect lyrical voice. It belonged to our lacrosse captain and homecoming queen, Wendi Long. I turned and saw Wendi strutting towards me. She had long blond hair that seemed to dance on her shoulders, bright blue eyes, a perfect nose, perfect teeth and the most beautiful skin that I was sure had never seen a zit. Seeing such perfection walking towards me, I sighed.

  My sigh drove her back a few steps. I'd have to be cautious with that. I'd also have to be careful because I enjoyed doing that.

  “What’s up, Wendi?” I asked.

  The second that Wendi reached us, I swear Jason’s IQ was cut in half. “Ah… ah….hi…Wendi…” he stuttered.

  Wendi stood there, arms crossed looking me in the eyes. “Remember we’re starting practice at 2:45 today!” she announced.

  “Yes, like we do every day!” I answered.

  “I just wanted to make sure you’re on time today. We’re scrimmaging, and you'll be leading the squad that's playing against my squad. I want to make sure you are at your best to give us as much of a test as possible." Wendi’s mouth was a firm line. She took her job as team captain very seriously.

  I nodded. “Don’t worry; I look forward to playing against you.”

  Looking over Wendi’s shoulder, I spotted Brandon Gold coming towards us. Brandon is captain of all the sports teams, class president and top student in the class. Plus, if he wanted to be, he could be a male model as well. He was so good looking. His only flaw was that he went out with Wendi.