by J. C. Owens
Jaden stared at him in speechless disbelief.
Dersai rose restlessly to his feet and paced, oblivious of his nudity. “I was only fourteen when I took the throne. I had to watch my beloved father shot. That is the only way an emperor can die—by the hand of one of his own people. The demon cannot protect itself against that. My father was raving like a mad thing, and his eyes…” Dersai shivered and hugged himself. “He was a good man, Jaden. A gentle man. He loved books and reading, and he taught me much. He refused to have me raised elsewhere as was tradition. He brought me up himself, and I watched him die.” Dersai turned his head and met Jaden’s stare. “I cannot have that for my children. They must not see such things. It is better that they never know me than that.”
Jaden swallowed hard. “And you?”
“It is getting worse. I often rave for days after the demon makes an appearance. Sometimes I—” He took a deep, shaking breath, stopping short in his words before whispering, “That is why Astoria must leave us alone, Jaden. If they continue on their path of conflict with us, the demon will rise, and this time…this time I am not sure I can control it at all. If it should rise, take me over, it will have no mercy at all… It will slaughter every enemy in its path.”
His gaze slid to Jaden’s. “Some years ago, I had a dream. A powerful, foretelling dream. In it, I was a wolf as the symbol of the emperors proclaims, and I was free with my pack, running and hunting. But then something happened, and I became a mad thing, harming others, running insane. When I thought I would turn and rend all around me, suddenly there was another wolf, one I did not know. It stood before me and howled, told me to stop. Surprised, I did so, and the other wolf came closer. We touched nose to nose, and suddenly the insanity was gone back inside. Controllable. I was myself again. For an instant, the wolf became a man, but I was so astonished that I only caught a glimpse of green-gold eyes. Then he was gone, and I awoke. Despite it being only a dream, I felt strongly that this person was real, that he would come and save me. Keep me sane, make me stronger.”
Jaden stood up, not able to keep his distance any longer. “Is that why you call me your wolf?” he asked tentatively, uncertain. “You think I am this man?”
Dersai put a hand on Jaden’s hip, drew him close, and bent to kiss him. “I know you are,” he murmured against Jaden’s lips. “Have you not brought me out of what happened within a day? That has never happened, Jaden, never. You are the one I foresaw.”
Jaden wanted to protest, wanted to deny that he could be this savior. He was just plain old Jaden. A slave of an enemy nationality, not suitable company for a man of Dersai’s caliber. Dersai slowly left the kiss, his tongue giving a last swipe inside Jaden’s mouth and a hum of approval sounding in his throat.
“It was one of the worst times in my life, Jaden.” Dersai held Jaden’s head in both hands, looking deeply into his eyes. “When your king attacked and we mustered our army and went into your country, the demon was constantly present.” He leaned down and laid his forehead against Jaden’s, letting out a shaky breath. “I thought I would not make it home sane, but I had to ensure that my country was safe, that your king was toppled from power and could no longer endanger all I loved.”
Jaden remembered that time all too well and shuddered with it, trying to pull back from Dersai’s touch, recalling what this man had done. But Dersai held on, refusing him freedom, his look half pleading. “I did not want to do that to your people, Jaden. I never wanted to do that. I remember so little of it… I never remember. All I do recall is a dim memory of suddenly seeing green-gold eyes staring at me… It was you, Jaden.”
“If I was so damned important to you, then why was I sold to Mailyn?” Jaden could not help the bitterness in his tone.
“I told one of my captains to see you to the prisoners’ area, and somehow a mistake was made. When I came to get you, you were gone, claimed by some of the mercenaries and taken to be sold. I tried to track you, tried desperately to find you, but—”
“They sold my sister, damn it! Sold me to that bitch. You have no idea of the hell—” Jaden tried to turn away, eyes stinging with tears, his teeth clenched to the point of breaking.
Dersai would not release him; he only held him closer, ignoring how Jaden strained to escape. “I am sorry, Jaden. I am so, so sorry. I never meant for any of that to happen. I never meant…” Dersai drew a breath, then stepped away, walked toward the balcony, and threw the double doors open. He stood there, his arms braced in the opening, head bowed. “What the fuck use is apology after what you have been through? Good intentions mean very little in the face of that. For what it is worth, I deeply regret what happened in your country. If they had not attacked…” He shook his head helplessly, then stepped outside and let the sunshine wash over his bare skin. He tilted his face up as if the sun touched him in benediction.
Jaden stood shaking, helpless anger washing over him. He wanted to—He did not know what he wanted. He was so fucking angry, but at whom? At this man who had wanted none of it? At Jaden’s own king, who had brought this down on his innocent people’s heads by unleashing the demon in Tranaden’s emperor? At the fates that had deemed that he end up with Mailyn when he and his sister could have been with Dersai from the beginning? He wanted to weep, to rage, to scream at the very gods themselves.
Instead, he stepped forward into the sun to stand beside Dersai, not touching—not yet—but close enough he could feel the other man’s heat. He glanced at Dersai, who looked back at him soberly, his eyes dark with regret he had no way of absolving.
His master walked to the edge of the balcony and leaned on the ornate railing, his stare brooding as he looked down, so very far down. Jaden joined him a little tentatively. He was not particularly fond of heights, and this was a height of heights. Far below, a vista of Tranaden spread out; they could see for miles, until the air itself blurred the view far, far in the distance.
“This is my responsibility, Jaden,” Dersai said softly. “Every man, woman, and child, every inch of this land. It exists as it does because of my sacrifice. One man does not mean much, but a whole race of people? How can I complain? My life, my death, is theirs. Always. As my ancestors did, as my children and their children will. I am weak to wish for more, for solace.” His lips twisted, and his shoulders bowed.
Jaden stood in silence, looking down, feeling the burden of the responsibility this man bore with such grace. Such strength to have survived all these years beneath this yoke, alone. This bloodline must be strong indeed to bear this pain with anything resembling acceptance.
Jaden knew he could not have done it. He could never have given up his life for others in such an unselfish manner. What did they teach these royal children? How did they mold their minds into men who would give up everything for duty? He could not imagine. He only knew it was not in him.
Still, there were answers he needed. “My sister…”
“I have had people looking for her since you arrived.”
Jaden turned to look at him in utter astonishment. “You…you knew this was important to me?”
Dersai turned an eye his way, a rueful tilt to his lips. “I may be a monster, Jaden, but even I understand family loyalty and love.”
Jaden flushed and looked down at his hands clenching the railing, biting his lip viciously. Something swelled in his chest, disbelief that even without him ever having said anything about Yamina, the man had known, had done something. No one had ever done such a thing before; no one had ever wanted to make Jaden happy, wanted to give him…what?
Was this what love between people was? Was that what Jaden felt when he looked at Dersai’s lean face, those sharp eyes, those lips that often were gentle as the rest of Dersai could not be. Yet he must know.
“Have you heard anything of her, of Yamina? Anything at all?” The desperation he felt made his voice sound hoarse.
Dersai laid a gentle hand over Jaden’s on the stone parapet. “Nothing yet. I have the best men on it. They will find her. I
promise I will bring her to you. Someday I will give you back what you lost. I will grant you happiness, Jaden—that I swear.”
Jaden blinked away tears, then bowed his head to the side. “Tell me again, my country… What happened to Astoria? How is it not part of Tranaden now? You told me this, but it makes no sense…”
“Astoria governs itself once more. I took your king off the throne and put his youngest son on. He is a good young man—intelligent, well read, forward thinking. He understood the atrocity that his father had perpetrated, and he tries very hard now to right it, even if there seem to be those who do not understand that.” Dersai leaned one hip on the wall and stared pensively straight down at the massive tree that grew below the balcony, its tip some lengths below.
“I do not conquer countries, Jaden. I take away the threat to Tranaden in whatever way the demon sees fit; then I go home. Tranaden does not want nor need more land. Our borders will remain our borders as long as my line breathes. If only other countries could understand.” He shook his head and turned back to the room, moving heavily. “Why wish for the moon?”
Jaden stared after him, fingers clenching upon the stone.
* * *
They sparred later that day, and it helped Dersai’s mindset. He seemed less brooding, less haunted, as if the physical challenge consumed him. Jaden made a good show of himself; he had always been quite good at wrestling. But he was no match for Dersai; he knew that. The other man’s strength and agility would be hard for anyone to live up to. Therefore he felt no shame when he ended up pinned, panting, and feeling the heat of Dersai’s naked body pressed into his, the slick sweat making their skin slide against each other.
Dersai held Jaden’s wrists above his head, his eyes glowing with victory and clear at that moment of any shadows. “I win,” he whispered. “Do I get my prize?”
Jaden could not help grinning. This was rather fun, in a spine-tingling way.
“What prize do you claim, warrior?”
“You…” Dersai’s mouth descended on Jaden’s, and he did not kiss; he devoured as though he could not get enough of Jaden’s taste, his essence.
Jaden groaned and arched up, feeling Dersai’s hard, muscled body pressed along the length of his, skin to skin. One of Dersai’s legs nudged between Jaden’s, parting them, and then rubbed tantalizingly up and down his groin just hard enough to be dangerous and just light enough to be intensely pleasurable.
“I want you.” Jaden panted, body aching with need. He suddenly did not care about the past or what the future might bring. He wanted this man now, right now, and damn everything else. He felt like a wolf needing his mate. He pushed that thought away in haste. He could never be that to the emperor, to Dersai, but…
This was now.
Dersai’s eyes lit with an inner fire to match Jaden’s. He gave Jaden a lingering kiss before rising to his feet and retreating back into the room to get oil. Jaden lay in a wanton sprawl and caught sight of himself reflected in the mirrors that lined the walls. He blushed at the look on that young man’s face. So needy, so shameless. He turned away as Dersai returned and instead watched the double image of his lover approach him with predatory eyes.
Jaden caught his breath as Dersai knelt between his outstretched legs and dipped his fingers into the jar of oil. Those fingers then moved between Jaden’s legs, and Jaden gasped at the sensation of coolness as it touched just behind his balls. His fingers clutched at the mats beneath him as Dersai slowly traced his entrance.
Dersai watched him, eyes half-lidded as they took in every nuance of Jaden’s expression and his body’s reactions. Jaden moaned as the finger stopped teasing and slid abruptly in, deep and true. He panted at the pain-pleasure that coursed through him, completely engrossed in the sensations, turned on by the way that Dersai watched him with those intense eyes that never wavered. It made Jaden feel alive, wanted, needed. His skin seemed to burn with desire, tingling almost painfully.
The finger stayed still for long moments, but Jaden could not wait. He began to writhe upon it, a shameful whimper breaking free from him. It was not enough, not nearly enough. He pushed down on Dersai’s hand, demanding more. And it was given; two fingers speared him.
Jaden cried out, eyes closing, sweat trickling down his face and pooling in the hollow of his throat. Dersai leaned forward then, lapped it up with slow sweeps of his tongue. Jaden reached up to capture his lover’s face; he drew it to him and plunged his tongue deep into Dersai’s mouth, half growling in his need.
Dersai gave in to him, but he added another finger. Jaden thrashed against him, becoming mindless with the pleasure of those fingers rubbing and teasing over his inner nub. When Dersai totally withdrew his fingers, Jaden could wait no more. He pushed a surprised Dersai over onto his back and straddled his waist, positioning himself over that massive shaft. It pulsed with heat as he held it, aiming it true. Forcing his weight down, he pierced himself with some force. Both he and Dersai cried out at the same time, their voices mingling as their bodies joined.
Jaden whimpered. He bowed his head for a moment, trying to let his body adjust around the spear of flesh within him. Dersai touched Jaden’s cheek, and Jaden looked down at his master, who had a worried expression on his face and concern in his eyes. Jaden blinked quickly to mask the tears that threatened to well in his eyes. It was so long since anyone had been concerned about him, cared about him.
He took a deep breath and moved, chasing the feelings away. He gasped at the sensation of Dersai’s huge organ sliding deep, pressing hard over the nub with each thrust, stretching him to the depths. He flung back his head and rode his master hard, delighting in the feeling of Dersai’s hard hands grasping his hips, leaving marks, claiming him. Those hands helped him rise and fall, steadied him, gave him freedom to do as he wished. He watched his image in the mirrors, unable to believe that this wanton, free creature initiating his own pleasure could be him.
Dersai was often nearly silent during sex, but this time it was like he too became free. His deep-throated moans and half growls made Jaden’s stomach quiver and his balls draw tight. Jaden’s motions became erratic, his movements shaky, and suddenly he was on his back, speared deep. Dersai hooked Jaden’s legs with his arms so he could put force into his thrusts.
Bent in half, Jaden had no recourse but to accept the powerful snap of those hips, to feel his master’s shaft press deeper within him, building heat and pressure within his channel. He cried out wordlessly, his eyes fixed on Dersai, whose own eyes seemed to glow and whose lips were drawn back from his teeth in a silent snarl. At that moment, he completely resembled the wolf of his lineage.
They orgasmed simultaneously, and like the wolf he resembled, Dersai lunged forward and sank his teeth into Jaden’s neck. Jaden turned his head and accepted it in utter submission, glorying in the feeling of being wanted, needed, claimed.
They lay like that for some time, panting. Then Dersai slowly released his bite and licked the spot soothingly. A rumble of satisfaction sounded in his chest as he viewed the mark that would not fade for many days.
“Someday,” he whispered soft and low and kissed Jaden’s forehead, “perhaps you will bear my mark permanently.”
Jaden smiled wearily, but a faint thought ran through his mind: why had Dersai not simply ordered him to do so?
Chapter Six
Jaden’s first foray outside the palace held him spellbound at the beauty of its surroundings. He had admired the great trees from the top, but they were even more awe inspiring from the bottom, seeming to rise into infinity. The undergrowth beneath them was rich and verdant. There were so many trees and flowering shrubs that they all melded into a mass of color and beauty. The air was humid and rich with the scent of soil and the perfume of various flowers. There was no place that there was not green, no bare plot of soil. All was almost unbelievable beauty, like an idea of paradise.
Jaden’s neck ached from craning it at various angles to take everything in at once. Astoria held no such bou
nty. Yes there were rich crops and vast lands of grass for grazing, but nothing of such incredible diversity. Tranaden seemed like a beautiful dream. The people they met on the paths seemed to echo that; their expressions were warm and open to their emperor, respect and love evident in their manners. They all looked content, even those who toiled under the sun in the gardens. They did not seem to feel indentured or used. They seemed content in a way Jaden had seldom seen in his home country.
He breathed the moist air in deeply and felt his spirits lighten in response. To be free of the confines of the palace, even if briefly, seemed a gift of great proportions.
Dersai held his hand, not releasing it even when they encountered others upon the path. Where Jaden would have expected scorn or disapproval, those they met sometimes looked astonished, but then a smile tilted their lips and they nodded to both their emperor and Jaden with a certain satisfaction in their manner.
Jaden was beginning to think that Tranaden held a lot of people who were not quite in their right minds. He could not imagine his own people being so accepting of their leader choosing another man and flaunting that choice so openly.
After the first few encounters with such people, Jaden began to relax somewhat. Dersai squeezed his fingers, giving him a smile laden with mischief.
Jaden huffed, as he had done several times earlier. “Could you not just tell me where we are going?’
Dersai shook his head as he had the previous times, annoyingly determined to retain the secret of their destination. Jaden growled a little, but he loved the feel of Dersai’s hand linked with his, and it was too fair a day to be irritated at so little a thing.
