by J. C. Owens
They passed through a grove of smaller trees that arched over the pathway, meeting overhead so that it became a green tunnel, a thing of wonder. Dersai paused here, drew Jaden against his chest, and laid a gentle kiss upon his lips. His eyes were soft when he stroked Jaden’s cheek.
“So often I have wanted to share these things with another, to walk with them, to show them the wonders of this place…and here you are.” He bent his head for another meeting of lips, this time more intense and needy.
When he drew back this time, Jaden felt his throat tighten at the expression upon his lover’s face.
“Thank you,” was all Dersai said, but the words went straight to Jaden’s heart. He would have spoken, but Dersai turned and kept walking.
Jaden could not help but grin. His lover could only open himself for moments before he had to move on, so unused to expressing himself. It did not matter; Jaden knew what he meant, knew what lay beneath the words.
It was enough.
They passed through the leafy tunnel into sunshine and approached a massive building. Entering the immense doors, feeling utterly dwarfed by their size, Jaden paused to let his eyes adjust to the relative darkness.
His expression swiftly passed into disbelief as he finally viewed the reason for so large an enclosure.
“You have got to be kidding me!” Jaden turned to face his lover incredulously. “I do not exactly have great memories of these things, you know.”
Dersai put an arm around his shoulder and laughed. “You already know how to disable them in novel ways, if you remember. You should have no fear of them at all!”
Jaden grumbled under his breath. During the battle that saw Jaden’s home city surrender, Jaden had managed to disable one of the immense Tranaden war machines by thrusting his knife into the seam of one of the machine’s finger joints and twisting as hard as he could. The damaged hand had spasmed, jerked, and opened, sparks flying as Jaden had fallen to the ground.
Despite his misgivings, he let Dersai guide him closer to one of the massive machines. It rested upon one knee, still looming like a behemoth over them.
He did not want to admit that he was fascinated. These things were instruments of death…or as Dersai saw it, instruments of Tranaden’s security. They had conquered Jaden’s country, brought death…but now seeing it from Dersai’s viewpoint, he had to consider their deadly beauty.
All around them, silent and still, knelt over a thousand of these great weapons, waiting. Dersai had told him that they had not been used since that long-ago battle. Some were covered in tarps; others were in a state of disarray, as though maintenance was being done on them.
It was eerie seeing them so benign. Some even had a little dust on them, like relics of a bygone age. But Jaden had seen them in action; there was nothing benign about them when they were in motion.
He had always wondered what they were like inside, and his curiosity overtook his initial fear. These things were so far above any weapon he had ever used that he could not help a masculine awe, a need to know.
Dersai grinned at him and gestured to the ladder leading up. Jaden frowned at him before leaning forward and laying a kiss on those tempting lips. He knew why Dersai wanted him to go first. He suffered his master’s groping and lewd comments all the way up, laughing at some of the more lurid ones, and was breathless by the time he half fell into the cockpit. There he sucked in a breath of amazement.
Dersai joined him, smacking Jaden’s butt, then rubbing it better and ignoring the swipe his lover took at him. He gently took Jaden by the shoulders, and steered him to the pilot’s chair and seated him. Jaden tried to ignore Dersai’s little grin at how Jaden seemed lost in it, so much smaller than Dersai himself.
Dersai leaned over Jaden’s shoulder and began showing him the controls and what each of them did. Jaden listened intently, loving the feeling of height and power that sitting here gave him. What it must feel like to operate such a thing…
Dersai chuckled, then elbowed him. “Move out of there, little one, and we will take it somewhere you can play.”
Jaden was too shocked to even protest the “little one” comment. He vacated the seat and stood with his hands braced on the back of it, watching intently as Dersai’s fingers flew over the controls, his face becoming intent and his eyes reflecting the instrument lighting. Jaden gasped as the machine suddenly began to rise onto both feet. The feeling was dizzying.
Then it turned and began to walk. It took Jaden a few minutes to adjust to the swaying motion. He clenched his fingers on the back of the seat, and he felt his eyes widen with the thrill of being inside and watching how it worked.
Dersai’s hands maneuvered the huge machine deftly, with the ease of familiarity. The small smile on his face suggested he much enjoyed being in control of something so huge and complicated. The great doors to the hangar slid open. The people below them seemed so very tiny, which gave Jaden a reference point as to the sheer size of the machine and how tall it actually was when it was standing at full height. He was completely amazed and rather awed by his memories of actually attacking this thing. He had to have been utterly mad to even have conceived it.
They passed through the doors and out onto the massive concrete pads outside that were covered in hard rubber to cushion the impact of the monster machine’s weight. Jaden was rather disappointed when they stopped; he could have kept going for hours, just viewing the scenery from such a secure height.
Dersai rose from the chair and gestured Jaden into it. “Now, this is for the left arm, this for the right. This is for walking.” He patiently went through the controls, taking time to ensure that Jaden knew which one was which. He was a good teacher, never hurrying or impatient. His deep, slow voice encouraged Jaden to try.
Jaden’s heart pounded with both trepidation and excitement.
“Now gently ease the stick to the right—”
Suddenly the scenery blurred. Dersai went to his knees as the cockpit began to spin wildly. Jaden’s screech of shock echoed through the small space, his hand frozen on the control stick as alarms rang out, half deafening them.
Dersai lunged and knocked Jaden’s hand off the controls. The cockpit slowly stopped revolving. Jaden sat frozen, eyes wide. He heard a choked sound beside him and slowly turned his head, afraid that Dersai would be angry at him. Instead, his lover had his hand over his mouth, and his face was slowly changing color as he fought to contain himself.
Jaden’s fear turned to annoyance, then anger as Dersai stayed on his knees, with his arms wrapped around himself, howling in laughter he could no longer restrain. Turning back to face the cockpit screen, Jaden flopped back in the seat, growling to himself while glaring outside. He crossed his arms over his chest. He had done what Dersai had told him. It was not his fault it had not worked. Stupid machine. He kicked moodily at the metal cabinet under the controls.
Dersai finally managed to breathe again and drag himself to his feet. “That was…interesting, Jaden. But let’s try again.”
“I don’t want to try again. This is stupid.” His scowl deepened. Then he glared at Dersai. “It does not help that my lover is laughing his ass off…”
Dersai’s smile gentled into fondness that Jaden wanted to ignore, even as he tried to ignore the fact that he was pouting quite blatantly at his less than stellar performance. If Dersai dared bring up Jaden’s protruding lower lip, Jaden would kill him if he said anything—master or no master.
Dersai obviously had to fight down a smile as Jaden glared daggers at him. He coughed into his hand and started again. “The stick is very touchy, as you just demonstrated. It only needs the tiniest of movements in the direction you seek. Think of it as holding a delicate egg with a chick inside; you do not want to jostle the chick too much or crush the egg, so you must be very gentle and only move small degrees.”
Jaden looked at him with a jaundiced expression, obviously disbelieving.
Dersai held his hands up. “That is what my mentor told me, and he was
the best, so…”
Jaden snorted but turned back to the controls after taking a deep breath to fortify his nerves. He did not want to disappoint Dersai. This was important to the other man; it was a large part of his life and—if Jaden was honest with himself— with the way their relationship was going, he hoped that one day he would be able to protect Dersai in battle. To do so, he would have to be able to go out and fight with him, stay with him, keep him safe. Not against Astoria, pray to the gods, but any other that might see Tranaden as a target. Jaden needed to be able to handle these monsters or at least understand them even if he would never reach the ability to pilot one.
He clenched his jaw. Damn it, he was not stupid, and this machine was not going to get the better of him. Stupid machine.
When they finally stopped two hours later, Jaden could have wrung out his shirt; it was so soaked with sweat. He could hardly make his way down the ladder and staggered upon reaching the blessed ground at last. He leaned against the nearest massive metal leg and took a deep breath. Two hours of lurching around like a drunken sailor was enough to give any man’s stomach a trial. His convulsed unsteadily, not sure whether to bring up his lunch or not.
He weakly glared at Dersai, who was speaking with one of the men in the hangar. Was he ill? No, of course not. Must be an emperor thing. Jaden growled under his breath. Still he felt a warmth as he saw Dersai leave the other man and stride toward him, a smile forming on his lips as he approached. That smile, so rare before, was for him—Jaden. It was a special gift. It was hard to be grumpy as Dersai swept him into the curve of his arm. At least until the ass mentioned supper.
* * *
That night, after making long and gentle love out on the balcony, they lay in the moonlight with a blanket pulled over them, entwined together. They were both quiet as they watched the stars. It was silent and still. A very faint wind blew over them, ruffling their hair and bringing a gentle scent from some nearby blossoming tree.
Tranaden seemed like a paradise, warm and humid, rich and verdant. It was hard to remember the winter temperatures Jaden had endured on the way here. Tucked into fertile valleys with warm winds coming off the coastline, Tranaden had a gentler climate with rich lands that were well cared for and prosperous. It was no wonder so many countries took the chance to try to conquer and possess it.
Jaden shivered and felt Dersai pull him closer in response. Somehow, after being here, seeing the people, and hearing stories of the land and its bounty and the happiness that seemed to thrive here, Jaden was beginning to understand the meaning of those metal monsters. If all this were his, he would do anything to protect it too.
“Did your father design your machines of war?” Dersai sighed, never taking his eyes from the sky. “No, my grandfather did, and I improved upon them. That is my design you see in the hangar. We redid the old ones and created the new.”
Jaden turned to look at him, leaning on one elbow in fascination. Was there no end to the talents this man held? Dersai shrugged as though feeling Jaden’s question.
“I was always interested in mechanics as a child, always sneaking out to be with the men in the hangar. My father found my interest to be something to foster, and he encouraged me. I worked on the plans for many years and finished them six years after he died.” He drew a deep breath, trying to smile a little. “I hope he would have been proud of them. He was always interested, always listened, even though it was not anything he really wanted to know about.”
Jaden stroked his lover’s chest in comfort. “You loved your father very much.” Dersai took the fingers of Jaden’s left hand and kissed them. “I did.” He stated simply. “He was an easy man to love. Everyone who met him, at least from Tranaden, loved him too.”
Jaden tried to imagine growing up and having to share his father with so many people, but he could not. His childhood had been much simpler. As though Dersai’s mind was following the same channels, he rolled over until he could see Jaden’s face more clearly.
“What happened to your parents, Jaden? You have never spoken of them.” Jaden shrugged. “They were good people, very poor. They just really should never have had children. They did not know what to do with me, I think, much less with Yamina. They both died of the black fever when I was nineteen and my sister was six.”
Dersai leaned forward and kissed his shoulder, smoothing a gentle hand down over the muscles of his arm. “They should have realized what they had. I bet you were a beautiful child.”
Jaden flushed, still not used to compliments. “I was a wild child. I know that much. With very little supervision, I ran the streets and got into all sorts of mischief. That is why when my sister came along, I was very sure of what I would not let her do.”
“We will find her, Jaden. I promise you that.” “Gods, I hope so,” Jaden whispered. “I think of her all the time, worry about
her. If I went through so much—” His throat closed at the images that flashed through his mind.
Dersai drew his whole body closer and pulled Jaden’s head onto his chest. “Do not think such things, Jaden. We will work on that when we bring her home.” Home… Was home here? Jaden sighed softly against Dersai’s skin. The concept of home was a little vague at the moment.
Dersai stroked his hair. “I wanted to tell you that I have freed the slaves of my harem and sent them on their way with suitable compensation.”
Jaden blinked in confusion, then tilted his head to look up at the other man. “Why would you do that? Ignis said you have some of the most beautiful and cultured slaves… Why would you let them go?”
His lover shook his head and laid a finger over Jaden’s lips when he would have further questioned the bizarre statement. “I have all I need right here…” Dersai’s lips were warm against Jaden’s, distracting him.
Dersai laid him down and loomed over him, smiling a little. “I think I need to take your mind off things.”
“Oh…?” Jaden arched one brow in query, expecting a kiss.
Instead, Dersai took Jaden’s left arm and laid his fingers around the ornate metal cuff that encased his wrist. He did something, and it suddenly clicked open. Jaden froze, watching in disbelief as Dersai gently pulled it from his arm and laid it aside, then reached for the other to do the same.
Jaden’s heart thundered in his chest to the point that he had to gasp for air for a moment. Yes, Dersai had long since removed his ankle restraints and certainly had never chained Jaden since those first days, but…this was something much more.
His breath stopped all together when Dersai kissed him again, then reached for the collar. When it fell away and joined the cuffs on the ground with a soft clink, Jaden put a hand to his throat in wonder, feeling the bareness without understanding.
“Why…” He could not finish.
Dersai brushed Jaden’s hair back and tucked it behind an ear with gentle fingers. “You are so much more to me, Jaden. You are my lover and my wolf, and neither should ever be caged. I free you tonight and tomorrow will make it official. You are no slave to me, and tomorrow all will know that.” He smiled gently. “As I will free your young friend, Rem.”
Jaden was speechless. He had long since given up hope that he would ever be anything but slave. He had become content with his place at Dersai’s side, found the chains of bondage lighter, bearable. Dersai had treated him as so much more…but Jaden had never thought…
He felt tears rise to his eyes and tried to blink them away. He started to turn his face so Dersai could not see his weakness, but his lover held Jaden’s chin and turned him back so that he could see the tears that tracked down Jaden’s cheeks.
“Never turn from me, Jaden,” Dersai whispered, kissing the tears, then licking them away with his tongue. “Everything you feel is special to me, the good with the bad. The joy with the sorrow. Do not believe I would ever think less of you for such things. Have you not seen me at my worst? How could you ever think I would judge you harshly?”
They sat up, and Jaden threw his a
rms around Dersai’s chest and began to sob. Everything had suddenly become too much. His past, present, and future came together in one jumble of emotion, and for once, he let it. He did not have to be strong; Dersai was here.
For once he was not alone and trying to be brave.
Dersai held him and rocked him, whispering soothing nonsense in his ear, enclosing him in strong arms. Jaden let it all go, and it was as a cleansing, pure and sweet, washing away all that he had undergone. His experiences would always be with him—that he knew—but maybe now it might begin to heal, might become part of the past and not something he had to carry every day.
When the internal storm was over, he lay limp in the cradle of Dersai’s arms, numb and yet strangely content. He could lie like this forever and never have the world intrude on them. Just the two of them.
He turned his face into Dersai’s chest and breathed deep, taking in the scent of his lover, the man he was beginning to believe he was falling in love with. He ignored the small voice, almost unheard within him, which whispered that it was never wise to love something as wild as a wolf.
* * *
Jaden struggled to keep a neutral expression on his face as he stood at the emperor’s shoulder where he sat upon the throne. He had truly believed that Dersai had not meant what he said the night before about telling the world.
But Dersai had just bluntly and without ceremony told the assembled court that Jaden and Rem had been freed and should be considered and respected as free men. The response in general had been surprisingly positive, and if a few servants hovering in the background, including Ignis, scowled…well, Jaden could live with that.
The nobles actually seemed pleased; no doubt it had something to do with the fact that their emperor seemed a different man. If Jaden was the one to keep him sane, keep him on the throne longer, then he could have been a donkey and they would have welcomed him with open arms.
